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Tagged: coronavirus jokes, yes or no?
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April 2, 2020 8:22 am at 8:22 am #1845921yldParticipant
Is it okay for people to exchange jokes about the coronavirus when so many people have suffered from it?
On one hand it can enlighten the atmosphere and soften everyone’s fears when hearing jokes about coronavirus. On the other hand then people who suffered from cronavirus might not like it for obvious reasons.April 2, 2020 3:51 pm at 3:51 pm #1846244Shaindel6ParticipantDespite the bad news, it is important to keep happy, so whatever works. At this time, we should make sure that all jokes are clean and don’t take away from our need to become better people in this special month of Nissan.
April 2, 2020 7:57 pm at 7:57 pm #1846499GoldilocksParticipantAll right, here are some funny corona quotes:
“Day 9 of social distancing: Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He’s a Web designer.”“Medical advice: One should always wear a face mask while at home, especially when alone. This may or may not prevent Corona, but will surely prevent overeating.”
“My children wanted to go out and play on the porch, but I told them not today; we’re saving that for the Chol Hamoed trip.”
Keep the humor coming!
April 3, 2020 1:05 pm at 1:05 pm #1846703DovidBTParticipantIn the meantime, these two [others came by the marketplace]. [Elijah] came [again and] said to [R’ Beroka]: These, too, are destined for the World to Come. [R’ Beroka] went up to them, [and] said to them: ‘What do you do?’ They said to him: ‘We are comedians, [and] we go to cheer up those who are depressed. Additionally, whenever we see two people involved in a quarrel, we strive hard to make peace between them.’
Taanis 22
April 4, 2020 9:56 pm at 9:56 pm #1846810yldParticipantFor more coronavirus jokes visit https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/ending-phone-calls#post-1846614, i by mistake put more jokes there instead of here. if you find them funny then i got many more jokes.
April 4, 2020 10:32 pm at 10:32 pm #1846898Reb EliezerParticipantכל הרודף אחר הכבוד הכבוד בורח ממנו and כל הבורח מן הכבוד הכבוד רודף אחריו over here is the opposite כל הרודף אחר הכביד הכביד רודף אחריו and כל הבורח מן הכביד הכביד בורח ממנו.
April 5, 2020 8:17 pm at 8:17 pm #1847269GoldilocksParticipantYid: Oh my those were too funny … especially the one about Milchemes gog umagog! Please do post more!
More humor…
Notice from Phychiactric Assosiarion: During quarantine, it is considered normal to talk to your walls, pots and plants. Please contact us only if they reply!
New Chol Hamoed Travel Guide for Pesach 2020: Sunday: Trampoline Park aka the bedroom. Monday: Water fun place aka the bathroom shower. Tuesday: Diggerland aka the backyard. Enjoy!April 6, 2020 7:56 am at 7:56 am #1847413mobicoParticipantIt’s not that Quarantine is boring. But it is interesting how one bag of rice has 7,849 grains of rice while another has 7, 887.
April 6, 2020 8:06 am at 8:06 am #1847393yldParticipantHere are some more jokes:
1. I don’t know why the weatherman is still bothering. Its going to be 21 degrees with fluorescent lighting all week!
2. Come and join today’s schedule: departure at 8:30 am from bed to bathroom 9:30 (dressed and Davened) arrival at the kitchen where we going to have our breakfast. 10:30 we will visit the rooms and have snack. 1:00 dinner in the kitchen. 2:30 nap time with snack. 4:30 free time to walk and corridors. 6:30 snack and supper. 8:30 special exclusive corona talk titled – lets hear whats new today, snacks provided. 10:30 snack and bed time! Tune in tomorrow for NEW, EXCITING, FUN FILLED PROGRAMME!!
3. I hope that the one who manufactures lemon flavoured wafers and sees that that’s all that’s left now on the shelves will get the hint…
4. Those who foresaw 2020 as the year we would not need to do anything, just sit on the couch all day got it totally right.
5. Day 6 quarantine: preparing to take out the garbage… so excited.. can’t decide what to wear.
6. My son didn’t like supper today, made like the spoon is a airplane – y’ know, WIEEEEUW… when it arrived next to his mouth he told me in a sincere voice. Very sorry but all airports are closed these days so mine too!
7.. There is a gap in your CV, what were you doing in 2020? I was washing my hands!April 6, 2020 10:46 am at 10:46 am #1847465yldParticipantHere are some more jokes:
1. Old mac Donald had a virus ee I ee I o. and cos of that virus he went into quarantine ee I ee I o. and the cows got sad and the pigs went mad everywhere you look there was pizza to be had, and the baker lost his marbles and the cheese went bad, ee I ee I o.
2. A gorgie came to the train station. Where are you going asked the policeman on guard. To jeopardy answers the georgie. No such place says the police. Oh, yes there is says the georgie, it said in the news, due to the coronavirus thousands of jobs in jeopardy…
3. I cleaner no coming today I isolation. I can text you instructions how to clean. If you also isolated you can send me jewellery in the post.
4. Corona jokes: no need to panic, fresh stock arriving daily!
5. To anyone dating anyone seriously: ask yourself would you wanna be locked up with this person for an indefinite amount of time? If yes marry them if not cough…
i have plenty more. want them?April 6, 2020 11:31 am at 11:31 am #1847500GoldilocksParticipant😄😃😀😉🤗😄😄😃😃😀
April 6, 2020 11:32 am at 11:32 am #1847497☕️coffee addictParticipant6. My son didn’t like supper today, made like the spoon is a airplane – y’ know, WIEEEEUW… when it arrived next to his mouth he told me in a sincere voice. Very sorry but all airports are closed these days so mine too!
I would have put the food in quarantine for two weeks too 😜
April 7, 2020 5:03 pm at 5:03 pm #1848012yldParticipantHere are some more jokes:
1. I just sent one packet of toilet paper, one 50ml hand sanitiser and a bar of soap to pay for my school fees, the menahel was so overwhelmed he called me to give me a compliment that I am the only parent to pay 6 months in advance!
2. Shadchen: heard you have a daughter in the age how about taking that boy? Father: NO WAY I saw him going to mikva and davening with a minyan. Shadchen: oh don’t worry, we’ll wait till the end of covid 19 I am sure he will stop once its legal again.
3. Congratulations to my children on the conclusion of their study of the central nervous system. They have successfully found my last nerve!
4. Corona facts: if you see an airplane you must be dreaming, if 3 minutes have gone by without you having received any texts messages, your phone must be broken, if you see toilet paper in a supermarket, you must arrange for an immediate eye test, if you see people dancing by a wedding it must be on a screen so make sure to keep it as a secret from the moisdos!
5. My mom always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything lying on the sofa… and yet here I am, saving the world.
6. Why two, I asked you to buy 3 packets pampers? Coz I was scared, it said buy 3 packets and win a holiday in Italy…
if anyone has jokes i will be interested to hear…
i still got more if you want!!!!!!!April 8, 2020 6:46 pm at 6:46 pm #1848344GoldilocksParticipantHomeowner: (dials 911): Police, police, help! There are two armed men robbing my house!
Police: Unfortunately, we are understaffed at the moment; there’s nothing we can do about it.
Homeowner: They are standing fewer than six feet apart from each other…
Police: Hold it, we’ll be there right away!April 12, 2020 2:36 pm at 2:36 pm #1848846Reb EliezerParticipantcorona is a crown. keser, which is humility. When someone has a swelled head, the crown will not fit. Maybe it comes because of haughtiness.
April 22, 2020 11:43 pm at 11:43 pm #1852132Doing my bestParticipantBreaking News: Man kills wife after 3 weeks of quarantine. Police detectives investigating why he waited so long.
April 23, 2020 2:04 am at 2:04 am #1852189MistykinsParticipantDid you hear about the latest Coronavirus video? I heard it went viral.
I could tell you a really funny Coronavirus joke, but you probably won’t get it.
April 24, 2020 12:44 am at 12:44 am #1852791Doing my bestParticipantThe Summer Zman Box from BMG: Includes: Shtender (tall or short) Chair (hard or soft) Gemara, Coffee, Red straws, Cell phone locker(charger doesn’t work), daily signs for your bulletin board, coconut flavored gefilta fish and a assortment of mezonos from gourmet glatt. NOT included: Rosh Chabura, Shiur Klali, parking spot , hand dryer , oitzer , pen gemach or tzedaka campaigns.
April 24, 2020 5:42 pm at 5:42 pm #1853016DovidBTParticipantHow many doctors does it take to treat a coronavirus patient? (Make up your own answer.)
May 11, 2020 9:24 pm at 9:24 pm #1859742GoldilocksParticipantLock down MAY END by MAY END or MAY not END by MAY END as it MAY extend. But MAY will END by MAY END even if lock down does not END.
May 11, 2020 9:24 pm at 9:24 pm #1859743GoldilocksParticipant2020 is a unique leap year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March, and 10 years in April.
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