December 26, 2010 2:46 am at 2:46 am #593742memoMember
Did anyone go to a dating coach? how can they advice you differently than your friends? I’ve been having those “iffy” dates and need some clarity on whether to continue or not–not red flags type of stuff, more like technicality… should i go to one and who do you recommend?December 26, 2010 6:35 am at 6:35 am #722314cshapiroMember
judy bodner at ohr naava…..otherwise if u have a rabbi or teacher from seminary who u were close to…?!!?December 27, 2010 2:47 am at 2:47 am #722315iggyMember
memo: For one, they can ADVISE you how to spell. (when someone advises you it is spelled with an s, the advice you are given is spelled with a c).
Secondly, it can never hurt. Professionals are trained in these particular areas (friends are not, no matter how well-meaning they may be). If you need clarity (which everyone does), you will gain the most by going to a professional.December 28, 2010 2:16 am at 2:16 am #722316
try rabbi jacobs formerly of lakewood yeshive now in israel .December 28, 2010 2:59 am at 2:59 am #722317bklynmomParticipant
Quite worthwhile. A dating coach is usually a life coach who works with young adults re: dating, job & educational choices etc. I have someone very good in mind, you can email me at [email protected]. Have success.December 28, 2010 3:10 am at 3:10 am #722318dunnoMember
I heard Lakewood guys talk to him via Skype now.December 28, 2010 3:25 am at 3:25 am #722319estherhamalkaMember
Why would you need a coach totell you if you should continue to date a person? No one knows you like you do, I will tell you what a wise person told me when I was ” in the parsha”-they said I should continue going out if there was no outright reason to say no. So I did use this advice,with a few suitors, and you know what? It worked! Eventually,the matter got clarified,it came from within me. Not from someone else. So my advice would be,go out with this person till you find a reason to say no. You never know….it might change into a yes. Good luck.December 28, 2010 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm #722320ProfessionalMember
a trained therapist can help you clarify what your needs are, why you are stuck, etc. nothing like a professional. it does cost a few $, but with teh right qualifed person your life is about to imprive big time iyh. post your gender and location, i can suggest someone good in your area. again, be prepared to pay. its worth every time!December 28, 2010 6:19 pm at 6:19 pm #722321
memo – there’s an excellent dating coach in Brooklyn. I don’t want to post her name publicly, as I don’t think that’s right. But, ask a few singles in the Brooklyn area, chances are most know her.
estherhamalka – you got lucky B”H. Unfortunately, many singles – both young & old – need some coaching.December 28, 2010 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #722322
Kind of odd that no one here (so far) thinks to turn to their parents for advice on how to relate to / better understand the person that they are considering choosing as a spouse.
Sad.December 28, 2010 7:14 pm at 7:14 pm #722323
BP Totty – although parents are always very helpful, many times – singles need to speak to an outside person for additional guidance.December 28, 2010 9:02 pm at 9:02 pm #722324memoMember
firstly i am close to my parents….but just its very important to have an unbiased-objective point of view-guidance it’s ur life…so when making one of or the most important decision of ur life!!!!!! you need a lot of Siatah Dishmayah!…mazel and sichel…cant say the coaches always know u well enough…but they can sort out your feelings-help you figure urself out tooDecember 28, 2010 9:04 pm at 9:04 pm #722325
Oh. Well, let me quote my mother (zull zein gezunt) with regards to parental advice, “the older the child gets, the smarter the parent gets”
Need outside advice? I could see that being valid on carrear moves, fashion tips, where to live…. things like that. Times change and parents don’t always.
“How to relate to a spouse ” advice? That hasn’t changed one iota. No one knows that stuff like your parents. If nothing else, they should have at least made the list.December 28, 2010 9:57 pm at 9:57 pm #722326
Sorry, I should have made two disclaimers before making my post:
Yesomim (r”l) will need to turn to someone else for advice
Parents who have allowed their kids to be raised on auto-pilot, or raised by others, forfeit the right to be the “go-to” guy (or gal, as the case may be) when it comes to dating advice.
Barring these two examples, parents should be the 1st stop on the advisors list. True, we may think that a “tweet” is something a bird says, but we still know a thing or 3 about human interaction.
Give us a shot; you might be pleasantly surprised.December 29, 2010 12:47 am at 12:47 am #722327
BP Totty – I agree parents should be the 1st stop on the advisors list. But, that doesn’t mean that it has to be the last stop. Singles may need additional guidance in shidduchim & dating coaches can help. Noone is saying that parents shouldn’t be giving advice. Of course they should!! But, if issues arise that the single needs coaching from an experienced dating coach, their help can save the shidduch.December 29, 2010 12:59 am at 12:59 am #722328
there is a mrs jacobs in brooklyn who is very very goodDecember 29, 2010 4:36 am at 4:36 am #722329shev143Member
bennaishek, thats very generous of you to fly memo to Isreal. Have you two even met?December 29, 2010 5:24 am at 5:24 am #722330
@ shev143: rabbi jacobs can be reached by phone or via skypeDecember 29, 2010 4:18 pm at 4:18 pm #722331
Thanks, Lakewood. Its nice to see I’ve got someone in my cornerDecember 29, 2010 4:27 pm at 4:27 pm #722332
BP Totty – I don’t think anyone disagrees with you. Most people who are in the parsha of shidduchim have been helped by a mentor/coach in addition to their parent’s assistance.
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