August 12, 2011 2:36 pm at 2:36 pm #598594
how bad is it to go out in the rain? the girl doesnt feel good (frizzy weather…) and no one likes the rain. what if she is the type that knows she hates rainAugust 12, 2011 2:46 pm at 2:46 pm #799223
Just call him and tell him you’re cancelling.August 12, 2011 2:48 pm at 2:48 pm #799224
Are you worried your makeup will run?August 12, 2011 2:49 pm at 2:49 pm #799225
i dont think she wants to do that…. but she is really not in the mood of going out with him on a rainy day. and its supposed to rain here for 3 days in a row so its not like she can push it off one dayAugust 12, 2011 2:50 pm at 2:50 pm #799226
Put on anti-friz spray, take an umbrella and mention that “it is so muggy outside, I hope you had a back up plan for the rain”.August 12, 2011 2:51 pm at 2:51 pm #799227
I’m dating in the rain
Just dating in the rain
What a glorious feelin’
I’m happy again
I’m laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun’s in my heart
And I’m ready for a shidduch
(with apolgies to Arthur Freed, a nice Jewish boy)August 12, 2011 3:05 pm at 3:05 pm #799228
this is a joke right? if there is rain in the forcast for your wedding , are you going to calling off.? and people wonder why we are NUTS.August 12, 2011 3:18 pm at 3:18 pm #799229
wedding is diff. and its not me guys chill.August 12, 2011 3:46 pm at 3:46 pm #799230
i wouldn’t worry so much… the guy will probably take her somewhere in doors anyway… but if she is still worried about getting frizzy hair from the house to the car then maybe she can ask the shadchan to reschedule the date for next week? (assuming there is a shadchan involved…)August 12, 2011 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm #799231
If she only comes out when it’s a full moon I would be worried…maybe she’s a werewolfAugust 12, 2011 4:02 pm at 4:02 pm #799232
I would find it fun to date in the rain..as long as it’s not a torrential downpour.August 12, 2011 4:14 pm at 4:14 pm #799233
MP, Im sure many would – myself included! but it is a different story all together if the girl wont feel pretty on the date – like if she gets frizzy hair…August 12, 2011 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm #799234
i think she should not go if she doesnt think she will be able to feel prettyAugust 12, 2011 4:18 pm at 4:18 pm #799235
I like girls with frizzy hair. And I would make her feel pretty by complimenting her on something.August 12, 2011 4:33 pm at 4:33 pm #799236
I don’t think it’s appropriate to tell a girl you’re not married or engaged to that she’s pretty.August 12, 2011 4:43 pm at 4:43 pm #799237
I wouldn’t say “Your’e pretty”. That’s just boorish. No one does that. I would compliment her on something (something she’s wearing, for example, and remark how it bring out the color of her eyes) that would make her FEEL pretty.August 12, 2011 4:50 pm at 4:50 pm #799238
MP- I would not like if a guy told me that he likes something Im wearing on the first date!August 12, 2011 4:55 pm at 4:55 pm #799239
I think it’s inappropriate to talk to a girl you’re not married or engaged to about her clothing or her features.August 12, 2011 5:00 pm at 5:00 pm #799241
adorable- Perhaps not a first date. What about, say, a third date? And for the record, I say things like that on later dates, and the girl appreciates it.August 12, 2011 5:04 pm at 5:04 pm #799242
Not until you’re engaged. And even then, until you are married you shouldn’t be going too far verbally. But if you’re not engaged to her, never tell or discuss with her about her clothes, features, or prettiness.August 12, 2011 5:13 pm at 5:13 pm #799243
Sorry, obaminator. I appreciate you that you are trying to help, but really, I have a very different view about this, and I won’t change it. I feel that I am responsible and mature enough to know when to make such comments and when not to. But I respect you for sticking to your beliefs.August 12, 2011 5:14 pm at 5:14 pm #799244
OBAM- I agree that on the first dates that would be inappropriate but once they are engaged I think he can nicely discuss it with her.August 12, 2011 5:15 pm at 5:15 pm #799245
On my dates I was complimented and I didn’t feel it awkward or weird about it…August 12, 2011 5:19 pm at 5:19 pm #799246
adorable: Once they are engaged, agreed. (But even then they shouldn’t get carried away too much.) But if they aren’t engaged, entirely off-limits.August 12, 2011 5:21 pm at 5:21 pm #799247
I think it depends on the girl in question, as we can see here with adorable and kylbdnr. I think the only girls that would go out with me are the types that would feel comfortable receiving such compliments, anyway, so I’m fine with it.August 12, 2011 5:30 pm at 5:30 pm #799248
My son and daughter-in law got engaged in the rain. He parked the car in a covered parking garage and popped the question with tons of flowers and a ring. She said “yes” in the rain. We had a l’chaim that evening even though it was raining cats and dogs outside. Jeepers!!! Rain happens!!!! As do fender benders and all kinds of calamities while on a date!August 12, 2011 5:36 pm at 5:36 pm #799249
MP: In the Yeshivish community such “compliments” would constitute hitting and would not go down well.August 12, 2011 7:30 pm at 7:30 pm #799250
Stamper, I understand that. I guess I shouldn’t date someone from “the Yeshivish community”. And I don’t think someone from “the Yeshivish community” would agree to date me anyway, because I’m not “yeshivish”. Far from it.August 12, 2011 7:34 pm at 7:34 pm #799251
My first date with Eeees was on a night when it poured. Needless to say, this made our original plan (miniature golf) completely out of the question. Backup plans didn’t quite work out either. Eventually it came down to pizza. In short, nothing about the date worked out… except for the fact that we liked each other.
Twenty three years later, we’re still very happy.
The WolfAugust 12, 2011 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #799252
Someone I was set up with, learning full time and very yeshivish complimented me on my earrings on the first date. It did not sound inappropriate at all. I think a lot depends upon how it is said. As far as postponing a date, if it’s going to rain for three days, she could lose the shidduch. If he’s got a list, he may not want to wait. What is she going to do? Hide when it rains until they’re engaged? Time to be brave!August 12, 2011 9:15 pm at 9:15 pm #799254
“I would compliment her on something (something she’s wearing, for example, and remark how it bring out the color of her eyes) that would make her FEEL pretty.”
Lol reminds me of a story that happened to someone I know. So the guy is colorblind (I’m not sure if she knew it) and he tells her (while they were dating) I like your blue shirt…actually, she said, it’s pink but thanks. They got married anyway 🙂August 12, 2011 10:46 pm at 10:46 pm #799255
MP: In the Yeshivish community such “compliments” would constitute hitting and would not go down well.
Posted 5 hours ago #
Please tell me that you forgot to include the word “on” after “hitting” which is another way of saying “flirting” and that you don’t actually mean the physical act of hitting.
While I don’t honestly know if a girl from a yeshivish background would feel comfortable being “hit on”, I’m sure most would agree that it is not on the same level as say a slap across the face.August 14, 2011 12:14 am at 12:14 am #799256
“OBAM- I agree that on the first dates that would be inappropriate but once they are engaged I think he can nicely discuss it with her.”
If they are engaged then they should definitely be able to talk about the rain.August 14, 2011 2:10 am at 2:10 am #799257
While I am not encouraging MiddlePath’s behavior, I am quite confident that he is a mentch, and most girls would prefer a guy like him that knows how to make a girl feel good and give a compliment, to the “yeshivish” guy who is above compliments…August 14, 2011 2:20 am at 2:20 am #799258
Another: Yehsivish guys are not above compliments, they give many compliments. But not about a girls dress or bodily features. Especially if they are not engaged or married to her.August 14, 2011 2:23 am at 2:23 am #799259
I guess I’m not yeshivish since I just complimented Eeees a few minutes ago on the way she looks. 🙂
(That’s okay — I don’t identify as “yeshivish” anyway.)
The WolfAugust 14, 2011 2:31 am at 2:31 am #799260
You’re married to her wolf, so any Yeshivish guy would do the same.August 14, 2011 2:36 am at 2:36 am #799261
cmon, seriously. whats the big deal if its raining?
long as driving is safe. there is such a thing as an umbrella.
will you never go out in the rain?
whats the worst thatcan happen?
and if you have so much make up that you are afraid your face will run i would suggest cutting back a little and looking a bit more naturalAugust 14, 2011 2:45 am at 2:45 am #799262
You’re married to her wolf, so any Yeshivish guy would do the same.
Considering the fact that there is one yeshivish person on these boards who considers my marriage to be invalid, who can say?
The WolfAugust 14, 2011 3:06 am at 3:06 am #799263
Obaminator, you’re under the assumption that:
A- all yeshivishe guys make up for all their years not complimenting females, and miraculously learn how nice it is to do so after marriage
B- women don’t like to be complimented on how they look
This is not usually the caseAugust 14, 2011 3:11 am at 3:11 am #799264
A – Yeshivish guys are complimenting their entire lives, from childhood on. Just not inappropriate cross-gender compliments as noted above.
B – People “like” a lot of things; that doesn’t necessarily make it appropriate.August 14, 2011 3:26 am at 3:26 am #799265
There is nothing wrong in complimenting a female OR male, as long as the compliment is said sincerely, and not too effusively. In the case of the girl, she probably took a lot of trouble to look good for her date. It’s good positive reinforcement to let her know her efforts were not in vain. I disagree with Obaminator.
As to the rain issue, get a great umbrella and terrific rain coat with a hood, and have fun. Rain can be very enjoyable, as long as it is not a hurricane. I don’t recommend an outdoor picnic, though.August 14, 2011 3:32 am at 3:32 am #799266
I don’t know.
If I approach a random girl in shul and say her dress looks great, I am definitely hitting on her. And I definitely think that is inappropriate.
And I could see why someone would think it is inappropriate on an early date.August 14, 2011 3:41 am at 3:41 am #799267
Popa, you are right, what you described would be highly inappropriate. But when you pick up a girl for a first date and she may have had her hair and nails done, bought a new dress, and spent two hours on doing her makeup, it is thoughtful and more often than not appreciated by the girl, to say, “You look nice,” at some point during the date. It’s a non-committal, non-threatening remark. JMOAugust 14, 2011 5:55 am at 5:55 am #799268
oomis, I completely agree with you. I think it’s important for a girl on a date to know that her efforts at looking pretty and attractive are appreciated and noticed. I once was on a date, and the girl commented how she was busy the whole day and didn’t have time to do her hair, and I could tell she was a little disappointed. So I said something along the lines of “It’s okay, I think your hair looks nice, anyway.” (This was a second date.) And I could tell she appreciated that.August 14, 2011 8:07 am at 8:07 am #799269
It poured on a few of the dates that I went out on with my husband and boy did I have frizzy hair. At some point I just put it in a pony and guess what? He married me anyways
As far as the argument about complimenting girls…in some circles its accepted and in others it isnt. I dont understand why you even bother arguing. You are obviously both from very different circles, so while the girls Middlepath dates will appreciate a compliment, the girls that obaminator dates will not. Everyone should just do what is accepted in their circles.August 14, 2011 8:56 am at 8:56 am #799270
Its a little funny to me and I think I would be very uncomfortable. The only exception I would make is if something came up in conversation (just got _____ today, what do you think?) which would probably be on a later-stage date.
Oh, and I really don’t understand what the whole rain thing is about…August 14, 2011 1:20 pm at 1:20 pm #799271
about the rain, i think that would be fun. i love when it rains, and i looove when it pours so i thinks thats not a problem. the frizzy hair is fine if you just put in some hair product brfore you leave. and if it starts raining after you left, its fine too noone will care.
about complienting girls, it might not be so appropriate on a first date but second and third i is definitley appreciated.August 14, 2011 7:13 pm at 7:13 pm #799272
I was once on a date and we were outside and it was REALLY hot, and I was super self-conscious about my expanding hair, and the boy made fun of it. I took it as a compliment ‘cuz that was as far as he’d go in discussing my physical appearance…;)August 14, 2011 7:28 pm at 7:28 pm #799273
I dated in the rain and my husband brought an extra umbrella with him for me. That was so thoughtful even though I could have taken my own. He brought the large golfing kind! There is blessing to everything. We just need to find it – even in the rain!
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