Dear Popa Bar Abby (Advice Column)

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  • #1091911
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Bar Abby,

    It really bothers me when people say or write “yontiff”. IT’S YOM TOV – BLAZES – CAN’T ANYONE GET THAT RIGHT?

    Yes dearest bar abby – you are guilty of that too.(see one of your above posts)

    What can I do to get over this? Or rather what can I do to get everyone in the world to say/write it correctly? AHHHHHHH!

    No – I am not hysterical. I’m a very calm, cool, and collected person. 😉

    Dear lunatic,

    I suggest you convince everyone to say yom tov, like you prefer. I personally would be convinced to switch for a one time payment of 100 dollars plus a dedicated troll thread.

    You may think this pricey, but you should weigh its cost againt the cost of therapy for this obsession.

    Love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091912
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    I have a coworker who is a very difficult person one of their faults is they don’t know how to express gratitude this morning they got a personal call and i transferred it to them and said who was calling they said yeah, yeah? i asked dont you mean thank you for answering your personal call, they refused to to say thank you and demanded i put the call through i said sorry and told the party that this coworker was unavailable. did i overreact? how would you handle such a coworker?

    Fed up in Sacramento

    Dear Fed up in (anywhere but) Sacramento,

    I applaud your standing up for yourself. Bar Abby believes it is sometimes important to take a stand when people treat you like a shmatta. This has priority over chessed (I am a rabbi- I say so).

    At the same time, if one can appreciate that the other person has nisyonos, and perhaps is having a hard time and has their own emotional needs to put others down, it may change your perspective. This coworker likely is feeling disrespected by their spouse or by the boss, and is compensating for their own emotional difficulties. You should absolutely not allow them to compensate at your expense though. But this may help you be less affected by their abuse.

    Love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091913
    gefen
    Participant

    “Dear Lunatic” – LOL. You really make me laugh.

    #1091914
    Mammele
    Participant

    Dear Gefen — I mean Bar Abby,

    I’m kinda new to the cr and was wondering what to do when my seemingly helpful post gets ignored by the one it was intended for. Do I get insulted, realize my timing was late, bump the thread, start a new “I’m really heartbroken/left out thread”, or maybe, horror of horrors, vent to all the world on the very popular Bar Abby forum?

    OK, I’m just kidding, but don’t you think it would be nice if Gefen read my Binas Bais Yaakov post? I did respond belatedly just for her benefit.

    #1091915
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear really heartbroken/left out,

    People often read posts when they are not able to respond, and then sometimes forget to respond later. Or, they simply do not see the response.

    The best way is to bump the thread and half jokingly request a response.

    Love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091916
    Mammele
    Participant

    Thanks for the advice.

    I guess this means I was a wise-guy for bringing this up here instead… I’ll know what to do in the future.

    For the record, I’m not so new that I haven’t read a lot of your posts and appreciate your humor. And I definitely enjoy your advice more when you’re not in Serious Mode. But it is kinda late for jokes…

    #1091917

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    I burnt the popcorn and ruined the pot. I’m really feeling bad about my failure and I’m finding it difficult to fall asleep at night.

    How can I put this behind me and face life once again?

    Hope you can help me.

    Failed Popcorner

    (PS I have no microwave, so that’s not an option)

    #1091918
    gefen
    Participant

    Mammele: I must apologize. I guess I never saw your post on that other thread. I will go check it out now.

    #1091919
    Feif Un
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I used to run a great advice column in the CR. Now, some young shnook has come along and opened up a competing column, taking away my clients! What do you suggest?

    #1091920

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    Theres this guy in my coffee room who always says blazes. It really irritates me. Please help fast.

    Your friend

    Irritated

    #1091921
    SayIDidIt™
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I went through this amazingly funny thread and cant stop laughing

    What do you suggest I do to help me stop (well, Im not even sure I want to stop but at 3:20AM I really should be going to sleep)

    Thanks for the Laughs!

    #1091922
    Song of Blessing
    Participant

    Haha this thread is hilarious. But actually Popa bar Abby you’re advice on real things is sound advice so how about this question..

    How does a person overcome night phobia’s – meaning that that person is the only adult in the house and is responsible for little ones, and crazy stuff happens in the city to enhance their fears (of break in or CH’V worse). I know bitachon but thats not easy when you’re petrified coz a murderers loose in you’re city……..

    #1091923
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    I burnt the popcorn and ruined the pot. I’m really feeling bad about my failure and I’m finding it difficult to fall asleep at night.

    How can I put this behind me and face life once again?

    Hope you can help me.

    Failed Popcorner

    (PS I have no microwave, so that’s not an option)

    Dear Failed Popcorner,

    You should get a cast iron pot. Impossible to ruin.

    #1091924
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I used to run a great advice column in the CR. Now, some young shnook has come along and opened up a competing column, taking away my clients! What do you suggest?

    Dear has been,

    I suggest asking him what he suggests, and then doing that.

    #1091925
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    Theres this guy in my coffee room who always says blazes. It really irritates me. Please help fast.

    Your friend

    Irritated

    Dear irritated,

    People don’t like hearing blazes, because it reminds them of blazers like they had to wear in prep school.

    What? You didn’t go to a prep school?

    #1091926
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I went through this amazingly funny thread and cant stop laughing

    What do you suggest I do to help me stop (well, Im not even sure I want to stop but at 3:20AM I really should be going to sleep)

    Thanks for the Laughs!

    Dear thanks for the laughs,

    You should move to New York. It is only 10:40 here.

    #1091927
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    The quality of advice columns has sunk really low.

    You can say that again! 🙂

    Thanks for the laughs!

    #1091928
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    How does a person overcome night phobia’s – meaning that that person is the only adult in the house and is responsible for little ones, and crazy stuff happens in the city to enhance their fears (of break in or CH’V worse). I know bitachon but thats not easy when you’re petrified coz a murderers loose in you’re city……..

    Dear Phoebe,

    I don’t think you’re crazy for feeling scared, but if it has gotten to the point of affecting your ability to function, you probably should do something about it. I’m afraid I really don’t know much about this. Maybe ask the experts.

    As far as bitachon-I don’t think that is the problem nor solution. Bitachon is how we respond to rational fears, not to irrational ones. Recall there are billions of goyim in the world who are not afraid at night, even though they have bitachon.

    I think this is important for you to realize that this doesn’t mean you have weak bitachon.

    #1091929
    bekitzur
    Participant

    Dear Phoebe,

    I don’t think you’re crazy for feeling scared.

    Popa +1,000,000,000,000,000,000

    #1091930
    not a mod
    Member

    Dear popa bar abby,

    If 42 is the the answer to life’s most important question, whats the actual question that 42 answers?

    From, six times seven

    #1091931
    Song of Blessing
    Participant

    Dear popa bar abby

    No BH it hasn’t gotten to the point of my ability to function but close enough. I think after 2 days I’m over it.

    Interesting concept on Bitachon I didn’t think of it that way. Its good to know that it doesn’t mean I have a weak bitachon 🙂

    And Bekitzur – no I know I’m not crazy for feeling scared – specifically in this situation, but I’m not sure how to handle being scared in the first place since I’m used to being pretty fearless lol.

    #1091932

    not a mod: Ha! Everybody knows that that’s how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a wouldchuck could chuck wood.

    #1091933
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear popa bar abby,

    If 42 is the the answer to life’s most important question, whats the actual question that 42 answers?

    From, six times seven

    Dear six times seven,

    The most important question right now is why I am so hungry, and stuck on a train that isn’t going.

    #1091934

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    This thread seems to be falling off the page an i want it back on.Any ideas?

    #1091935
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Can’t remember if I’ve ever mentioned this here before, but google “the answer to life, the universe and everything” for a quick lol. ^_^

    #1091936
    kapusta
    Participant

    The most important question right now is why I am so hungry, and stuck on a train that isn’t going.

    Maybe try moving out of NY…

    *kapusta*

    #1091937
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    I’ve been trying to stay away from the CR at 2am but tonight I can’t sleep. Should I drink more caffeine?

    Sincerely,

    A Relapsed Addict

    #1091938
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    I’ve been trying to stay away from the CR at 2am but tonight I can’t sleep. Should I drink more caffeine?

    Sincerely,

    A Relapsed Addict

    Dear relapsed addict,

    How about a nice Coca Cola?

    Love,

    Pops

    #1091939
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Kapusta: I don’t really live in NY!

    #1091940
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    People say stupid things on the internet and it’s bad for my blood pressure. How do I make them stop?

    #1091941
    SayIDidIt™
    Participant

    R klonimus kalman wesselburger, you can check out this thread I found:

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/help-with-biting-nails

    Hatzlacha!!


    Popa, we still need your sound advice! Dont leave us!!!

    #1091942
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Hey did someone delete posts here? I’m pretty sure there was more!

    #1091943
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    People say stupid things on the internet and it’s bad for my blood pressure. How do I make them stop?

    Dear smart,

    I make it a policy to not go to sleep each night until I have corrected all the wrong things on the internet.

    (You’ve all seen that cartoon?)

    #1091944
    JustHavingFun
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    Is it true that “On the Internet, Nobody Knows You’re a Dog”? … gotta go… the Gravy Train is getting soggy in the bowl…….

    Signed,

    My Dog Has Fleas

    #1091945
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    There’s this guy who acts like a right-wing extremist but he knows way too much Torah to be an unthinking fanatic and he reads xkcd. How do I fit him into a niche where I can look down my nose at him?

    Sincerely,

    Attempting to be a brooklynite

    #1091946
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    There’s this guy who acts like a right-wing extremist but he knows way too much Torah to be an unthinking fanatic and he reads xkcd. How do I fit him into a niche where I can look down my nose at him?

    Sincerely,

    Attempting to be a brooklynite

    Dear attempting to be a brooklynite,

    I don’t know what xkcd is. In general, I am willing to look down my nose at people even if they are too fat to fit in a niche.

    #1091947

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    I have this unexplainable fear of being in the dark because I’m scared my pillow might be upside down and someone will pop out and tell me that I’m crazy and everybody knows but me.

    #1091948
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Crazy,

    Now you know also.

    PBA-bby

    #1091949

    Thank goodness!

    #1091950
    SayIDidIt™
    Participant

    moski: that was very funny!!!

    SiDi™

    #1091951

    Well now that I know I’m crazy I’m gonna guess moski is really some robot hamster from Pluto.

    #1091952
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    Google XKCD 386.

    As for my question, it’s about etiquette. There is this guy who likes dropping his credentials in every conversation whether they are relevant or not. So far I haven’t said anything because his credentials aren’t heavy enough to cause any damage, but what do I do if he ever writes a book?

    #1091953
    Nechomah
    Participant

    IS – Make sure you only buy the paperback edition. It will weigh less when it lands.

    #1091954
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    Why is that EVERYONE in the world has a gmail account EXCEPT google?

    Sincerely,

    How to contact google?

    #1091955

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    Chrome or Firefox?

    #1091956

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    Popa_Bar_Abba never gave me a PBA card on Purim. Should I punch him in the face or kick him in the legs.

    Sincerely,

    Never got his PBA card

    #1091957
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I am dating a girl and I think she is the one, but I have the following problem. I always thought I would marry an older fat girl so as not to add to the shidduch crisis and thinness crisis. But this girl is young and thin. So it is bothering me and making me feel guilty.

    Also, she always complains to me about guys who only want to marry a young thin girl, and that anyone who does that is a creep. I don’t know if she realizes that I am apparently doing that. So now I think she doesn’t respect me.

    I would break up with her, except that the shadchan told me that this is the perfect one and that if I don’t marry her he will never set me up again. And I think I would only want to marry someeone through this shadchan.

    I think I can solve the thin problem by convincing her to gain weight, but how can I ever make her be older than me? That is impossible!

    Please help soon.

    Love,

    Desperate Dater

    .

    .

    Dear Desperate Dater,

    You are perfect for each other. It is mamish ??? ??? ?? ????. You should get married and then divorce her if she doesn’t gain weight.

    Love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091958
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    Firefox or Chrome?

    #1091959
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear OneofMany,

    This is a very deep question. I understand completely why you would seek advice from an expert on life instead of a techie, on such an important issue. My advice is to follow your heart, and to use Chrome since it is much faster.

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091960
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    WRONNNNNNNNNNG

    The answer is 42.

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