Dear Popa Bar Abby (Advice Column)

Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee Dear Popa Bar Abby (Advice Column)

Viewing 50 posts - 101 through 150 (of 202 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #1091961
    uneeq
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    I’m a big fan! What I’d like to know is the following:

    Do you really have a room full of trolls coming out with new CR posts? I know that the advice column is written strictly by you, but rumor has it that PBA is a conglomerate mix of some the greatest troll minds of our times. What do you have to say about those rumors?

    Sincerely,

    Trollfan 2012 (because there won’t be a 2013)

    #1091962
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Trollfan,

    Please cease and desist from using that name. It contains the term “troll”, which is trademarked and refers only to me. If you continue, I will be forced to file suit in a court of competent jurisdiction.

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091963
    josephH8R
    Member

    Dear Popa bar Abby

    I often find myself very angry at the user Joseph. There are two things which especially make my blood boil. Firstly his puppet games with multiple screen names. Also the way he distorts things. The same way the pig shows off its hoof and insists that it is kosher, josheph takes psukim and dangerously applies them in inappropriate and incorrect ways. He reminds me of the quote “a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing”

    Am I being irrational with my views of him? Am I being judgemental and unfair towards someone with different beliefs than I have? Am I overreacting when my blood boils when reading a post of his?

    Thanks Popa bar Abby

    Signed,

    Blood Boiling over the Net

    #1091964
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Blood boiling on the net,

    Chazir mareh telafav indeed.

    The truth is, I don’t hate him. I think he is horribly misguided, and has personal challenges. But what he does and did here is very very wrong.

    Sorry I can’t help more.

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091965
    frummy in the tummy
    Participant

    Dear Pops,

    What if G-d were one of us? More importantly, what would His username be in the CR and what kind of threads would He start?

    Also, same question but for batman.

    – Am I an apikores for thinking of G-d as a superhero?

    #1091966
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Dear Abby,

    How grateful I am, to learn of your generous offer to provide all-encompassing counsel, free of charge and open to the public. Here are some questions:

    1. Did your education benefit your trolling abilities?

    2. Why haven’t I found a shidduch yet? When the telephone rings, it rings not for me. (Even when the bell tolls, it is usually a fedex delivery.)

    Am I ugly? Not rich enough? Not chashuv? Uneducated? Intimidating? My boring username? Maybe it’s my third cousin who has red hair, black skin and one blue and one black eye? No one wants their kids to look like that.

    3. Another problem is that I am not perfect. My neighbor is perfect. Her life is perfect. My life isn’t. I have so much self-doubt.

    Oh, sage Abby, give forth your wise advising, may it flow like chalav yisrael chocolate milk and fill my cup to overflowing.

    All the best

    Torah613613Torah

    #1091967
    WIY
    Member

    Torah613613Torah

    How old are you if I may ask?

    #1091968
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Torah…,

    1. Yes. I am currently pursuing an advanced degree at an elite university, in trolling.

    2. There is very little way to know the answer to that question, and it is just as likely you are doing nothing wrong. ????? ??? ??? ?????? ????? ?? ??? ??????? ??? ???? ???? ?? ?????? ????? ???

    On a more practical note, please don’t give up and become bitter. Find a special friend who is also single, and schedule regular get togethers. Maybe go to a shiur at Ohr Naava and go out to eat before that. And may you find your one and be as happy as ??? and ??? in Gan Eden: ????? ????? ??? ???

    3. Your neighbor’s life is not perfect. It is probably just as challenging as yours. She just has different problems that you don’t know about. (If you’re who I think you are, her husband belittles her and she cries herself to sleep every day.)

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091969
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    WIY: Younger than you, I’m pretty sure.

    1. Your phd will stand for: Permanently Headed Downhill

    2. ??? ?”? ????? ???? ?????? ??????

    What inspiring advice, ???? ???? ???, ???? ????

    3. How did you know? She just came over and told me.

    #1091970
    WIY
    Member

    torah613613torah

    Youre Israeli arent you…

    #1091971
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    WIY – See the You’re wife thread. I did, however, feel very comfortable among Israelis.

    #1091972
    Curiosity
    Participant

    Ok T613, we gotta figure out a way to ask the mods to let us exchange shid resumes… maybe one of us should create a temporary email address and post it on here with the mods’ consent. Whaddya think?

    #1091973
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Curiosity: It hurts me to rain on your parade, but I don’t think that is a good idea.

    The only reason what we do here (talk and joke with each other, often single guys and girls, often married guys and women, often one of each) is not insanely assur is that we don’t know each other and really have no way of finding out who each other are.

    If the mods start facilitating contact, then every joking around is now a potential relationship. I don’t think that is appropriate.

    #1091974
    WIY
    Member

    torah613613torah

    Online I am sometimes lazy with my apostrophes. That doesn’t mean I don’t know how to use them.

    #1091975
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Thank you PBA, I agree and would not be as relaxed if I didn’t feel certain the mods keep our emails to themselves.

    WIY – I specifically state I’m American in that thread, in this instance my comment was not a criticism of your punctuation.

    #1091976
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Curiousity – for some reason the mods let me post the internet dating thread, but it makes sense. If you really want to you can figure out who I am.

    #1091977
    Curiosity
    Participant

    PBA, I must admit, I didn’t think of it from that angle, and I agree. T’was a bad idea.

    T613- I saw your thread, but unless I missed a more recent post, I didn’t see any facts that would give you away with any certainty. Btw, I’m also a paying member of Jwed (though not for much longer) so, we’ve probably stumbled across each other’s profiles and maybe even spoke.

    #1091979

    Dear Popa Bar Abby:

    I LOVE your column! Each question that I read seems so baffling and then you answer it so wisely and so concisely that it makes me want to run home and read it to my cats, but I don’t have cats. (That is not what I wanted to ask you about).

    I have exams for school coming up. I have one next week Thursday, one that I can take at any time next week and I’m choosing between Wednesday and Friday, and one that I will take two weeks after that, in early January. The problem is that I don’t know any of the material for the last test. Should I take time off studying for next week’s tests to study for that one, even though I have two more weeks afterward to study for it? Or should I rest secure in the knowledge that I can learn all the material in two weeks, which will actually be closer to a week and a half because my kids have vacation then?

    #1091980
    Curiosity
    Participant

    T613 I THINK WE SPOKE!!! Check your gmail…

    #1091981
    aurora77
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I have from time to time re-gifted to try to match presents to personalities, and now that we are back in a festive season, I am wondering if there are any Halachic restrictions upon re-gifting of which I should be aware. Please feel free to illustrate the salient points with real-life examples. Thank you in advance for promoting my continuing edification!

    Sincerely,

    A Cat Lover Near Delaware

    #1091982
    JayMatt19
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby

    I find my neighbor to be a major league jerk. He is a self-serving, self centered idiot. I know one shouldn’t judge another person until they walk a mile in their shoes. So now I am a mile away from my house, I’m still wearing his loafers, and I still think he is the same self serving idiot I thought he was before I went on this walk.

    -Blisters on feet

    #1091983
    notasheep
    Member

    Dear PBA,

    Why can’t the Americans learn to speak and spell English correctly? It really bothers me. I mean, how can something that is not a book and doesn’t go in a pocket be called a pocketbook? CALL IT A WALLET FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE! Or a purse, if you are female. And said purse goes inside a HANDBAG! (Since it is a bag and you carry it in your hand…)

    And the stuff I have inside my doughnuts this week was definitely not jelly. That would have been disgusting.

    Sincerely,

    Annoyed Authentic English Speaker

    #1091984
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Veltz,

    I’d rest secure that 2 weeks is enough time to learn a course and study for the exam. As far as the kids, I read a fascinating article linked on facebook today which was mashma that if you beat your kids, they will behave in the short term. It was talking only about boys, but I’m sure it works for girls too.

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091985
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Cat lover near Delaware,

    I’m not aware of any halachic implications, but there may be some personal implications. Generally, people don’t like when gifts are regifted; neither the original giver nor the ultimate recipient.

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091986
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Blisters on Feet,

    I was looking all over for my shoes. Please bring them back when you are done.

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091987
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear annoyed authentic….

    To the victor goes the spoils. We conquered your language in 1776 and aren’t giving it back anytime soon. You might consider learning French.

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091988
    notasheep
    Member

    But we English hate the French! And because, as an alliance, the Brits and the Americans beat Germany in both world wars, does that mean we can steal German from them? We had English first!

    #1091989
    TheGoq
    Participant

    notasheep thats a nice Rex Harrison impersonation.

    #1091990
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby.

    I have a test tomorrow but it is a closed book exam, and there are so many little details to remember. Is it cheating if I memorize them? I think it may be, because when I memorize things, I can remember them very well, and it is just like it being open book.

    love,

    Student

    Dear Student,

    This is an advice column, not an idiots column. My opinion is that you are too dumb to do well anyway.

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    (Sorry guys, I call it how I see it)

    #1091992
    squeak
    Participant

    Dear popie,

    I thought I had a good question but I guess it embarrassed the moderators, them not being ferds and all. In the future, do you think its a good idea to not call attention to things just because they may be embarrassing to a moderator?

    Thanks,

    Stymied

    #1091993
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Stymied,

    In the future, it is better to call attention to it backhandedly or with some sort of subterfuge. Like calling them not ferds and all.

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091994
    Wisey
    Participant

    Dear PBA,

    Do you have advice regarding falling asleep faster. I already tried exercising in the evening but it didn’t make me tired.

    #1091996
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Wisey,

    You are doing it wrong. Exercising wakes you up. You should exercise earlier in the day.

    Love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091997
    Shuychus
    Member

    Dear Poppa

    how can i make my tzitzis white? I need advice as to my best method.

    #1091998
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Shuychus,

    Bleach.

    Love,

    PBAbby

    #1091999
    YW Moderator-007
    Moderator

    Dear Poppa,

    How do we get rid of Joseph?

    Please write back!

    #1092000
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Mod Double 0 Seven,

    I have no idea. All I can say about dealing with Joe is:

    ???? ??? ???? ????

    ????? ??????? ?? ???? ???????

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1092001
    Wisey
    Participant

    Dear Popa,

    I said in the evening not right before going to bed. I know it wakes you up.

    #1092002
    frummy in the tummy
    Participant

    Dear Popa,

    Please provide advice for my previous query, as I am stuck in misery with no direction.

    Lost and Searching

    #1092003
    Wisey
    Participant

    Frummy: I think you should repost your Q I can’t find it either

    #1092004
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    To whom it may concern; namely, the author of this thread:

    When it comes to posting on YWN CR, how much is too much?

    T613^2

    #1092005
    golfer
    Participant

    Dear Popa,

    Your wisdom astonishes me. In a good way. And I love how you answer everybody. I actually did notice frum in the tum’s post and I also noticed you skipped that one. I thought it was because you agreed with my (unvoiced) assessment that it was completely unworthy of having any attention at all paid to it. Matter of fact, it made me wonder (not for the first time) what makes the mods delete some posts and leave others. Their ways are a mystery.

    Agree??

    Perplexed

    #1092006
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Perplexed,

    I only respond when I have something worth saying.

    love,

    Bar Abby

    #1092007
    Wisey
    Participant

    Dear PBA

    #1092008
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear PBA

    Dear Wisey,

    This is an advice column, so I’ll focus on the part of your question which is asking for advice. You should join a dating website; it is a much more efficient way to meet people you’d be interested in dating.

    love,

    Popa Bar Abby

    #1092009
    funnybone
    Participant

    Dear PBA,

    My hubby hates asking for directions, after all he is a male. I bought for him a GPS but now he won’t speak to me b/c he says that a GPS is like asking for directions and as a male he can’t and I’m mixing into his masculinity. What can I do?

    #1092010
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear PBA,

    My hubby hates asking for directions, after all he is a male. I bought for him a GPS but now he won’t speak to me b/c he says that a GPS is like asking for directions and as a male he can’t and I’m mixing into his masculinity. What can I do?

    Dear Funnybone,

    I think I once wrote about this before, but I can’t find it.

    Generally, I think that the trait you are complaining about is one that you really do value, just not as applied here. That is, you value a husband who is confident, and takes care of stuff that needs to get taken care of. You like a guy who you can rely on to say “I have this under control”.

    You just don’t like when he insists on being like that even when it is not necessary; for example, when he could just as easily ask for directions. But the traits are one and the same–and that should help you be able to tolerate the half that you don’t like.

    Every guy likes a girl who tries to look attractive, but gets annoyed when it takes her an hour to get ready to run out to the pharmacy for a bottle of aspirin. Well, the guys should get used to it too.

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1092011
    Wisey
    Participant

    Dear PBA

    I am only twenty years old and not interested in dating. What should I do if when I offer my opinions on certain matters people think that I am interested in a shidduch for myself?

    #1092012
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear PBA

    I am only twenty years old and not interested in dating. What should I do if when I offer my opinions on certain matters people think that I am interested in a shidduch for myself?

    Dear Wisey,

    This is an advice column, so I’ll address what I think the request for advice is.

    There is no reason to be bothered if some anonymous person on the internet who has no idea if you are male or female and 8 or 80, thinks you were asking about dating for yourself.

    love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1092013
    YW Moderator-007
    Moderator

    Dear Abby died….http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-pauline-phillips-20130118,0,861274.story?track=lat-pick

    All those people should now be writing to the only person left to properly respond.

    That would be Popa bar Abby

Viewing 50 posts - 101 through 150 (of 202 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.