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I learnt that a person should avoid accepting gifts. I forget the exact reason. (Please share if you know.)
How is it best to decline a gift offered?
The pasuk in Mishlei (15:27) says ??????? ???????? ??????? – One who hates gifts will live.
This is said in a certain context, and not always should you decline a gift. Look it up.
Keep in mind that sometimes by accepting a gift you are allowing the person giving it to get a really good feeling they wouldn’t get otherwise. Also, if your hesitation in accepting gifts is rooted in a dislike of the expectation to show gratitude, then you should force yourself to accept the gifts, and learn to be a grateful person, because this is a not a good trait (I have Gemaras to back me up on and illustrate this point; I’ll elaborate if anyone is interested).
yitayningwut: great answer. sonei matanos means sonei being a ‘mekabel’, but sometimes one who accepts a gift is actually a ‘nosein’, and sometimes one who declines a gift is doing so because he does not want to be ‘nosein’ in return.
Its very rude to decline a gift. Its like saying thanx but I dont need ur trash. Take it, and show HAKARAS HATOV. U can give it away descretely later.
The Torah teaches us derech eretz kadma latorah.
It’s not that you should not accept a gift, rather you should not be the kind of person who always looks to get them from others. It’s better to give than to receive…
I always found it amusing. I think there’s a Gemara that tells a story that one Amora tried to give another a gift and the other responded, “What are you trying to do, kill me?” Still, we don’t find an Inyan to refuse gifts in Halachah. It’s good advice to not rely on gifts from others (hence the Passuk), but that doesn’t make it a Halachah.
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