March 6, 2011 4:50 pm at 4:50 pm #595512
Please post name and numbers for professional shadchans that you recommend. Also how much do they charge, approximately, and do you pay them before, or once they suggest someone?
thanksMarch 6, 2011 9:57 pm at 9:57 pm #749432yossi z.Member
This is at least the third thread on this topic. There are two threads with (a) long list(s) of shadchans’ names
😀 Zuberman! 😀March 7, 2011 4:57 pm at 4:57 pm #749433fabieMember
What part of town?March 7, 2011 6:13 pm at 6:13 pm #749434
There is a very good shadchan by the name of Oshri. I think he lives in Monsey….March 7, 2011 10:53 pm at 10:53 pm #749435
Yossi, I’m not referring to the typical regular shadchanim, I’m asking about professionals who charge money to do this and devote more time and effort for you because they’re being paid- and not just when they make a shidduch.
fabie, in ny, but really anywhere.
aishes chayil, do you have oshri’s number? Have you or someone you know tried him? What does he charge?
thanks!March 8, 2011 5:50 am at 5:50 am #749436
I should have it somewhere….
He made quite a few shidduchim and I heard he charges according to how hard he has to work, but I think you should speak to him about it personallyMarch 8, 2011 4:46 pm at 4:46 pm #749437
if you find the number please post!
anyone else know anyone?March 8, 2011 5:44 pm at 5:44 pm #749438
His home # is 8454254426. He is a Chassidish man though so I’m not sure if he caters to all communities.March 8, 2011 5:53 pm at 5:53 pm #749439guy-ochoMember
no shadchanim charge if they don’t bring a shidduch to marriage. (hopefully)March 8, 2011 6:08 pm at 6:08 pm #749440cofeefanMember
oh yes they do guy-ocho!!!March 8, 2011 6:12 pm at 6:12 pm #749441guy-ochoMember
not when i was in the parshaMarch 8, 2011 6:15 pm at 6:15 pm #749442dunnoMember
Times have changed for the worse…March 8, 2011 6:20 pm at 6:20 pm #749443
snow: this is hysterical…..
“I’m not referring to the typical regular shadchanim, I’m asking about professionals who devote more time and effort for you because they’re being paid- and not just when they make a shidduch.”
do you have any idea how hard the typical shachan works inlcueing the 98.5% who get absolutely NO salary????
for the record – Apreciating anyone and everyone who works on you/your childs behalf and recognizing the immense amount of time and energy they put in (by comensating for dates they set up)… works in a huge huge way.
Proof is in the pudding….. and it’s coming to a community near you…. SOON…..March 8, 2011 6:37 pm at 6:37 pm #749444dunnoMember
Just curious, why don’t you post on other threads as well?March 8, 2011 6:58 pm at 6:58 pm #749445
Why is it “hysterical”? The shadchonim you mentioned put it all that time, true. But they invest it as it comes up… Snow is looking for someone to spend a let of tim on Snow! Not just as they come up (with hard work). And they’re willing to pay for it.
Sounds like a very fair and serious requestMarch 8, 2011 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #749446
For the record, Oshri doesnt only make Chassidish shidduchim.
YOu have to call up and tell him exactly what your looking for.
Good luckMarch 8, 2011 8:35 pm at 8:35 pm #749447
Az, of course you appreciate the work shadchanim do–but let’s be practical. People are more willing to work on a single’s behalf if there’s an incentive. Unfortunately, while regular shadchanim do put in time and effort–it’s not enough. they’re often busy, have other jobs, involved with a lot of things, and have tons of girls. but, if someone is a professional, charges, he/she has a vested interest in putting in a lot of effort and time to set people up.
thanks for the contact info smart cookie, and aishes!
any others?March 8, 2011 9:10 pm at 9:10 pm #749448ha ha ha haMember
there are organizations with many shadchunim working there full time
1)binyun adi ad
2)kesherMarch 8, 2011 9:10 pm at 9:10 pm #749449yunger mannMember
I’m sure you can make an arangemant like that with all shadchanimMarch 8, 2011 9:56 pm at 9:56 pm #749450
ha, in general, these organizations don’t do much for many singles i know. again, if they don’t charge, i have less confidence in them helping. sad but true.
haven’t heard of binyan adei ad, and when i tried looking online, it seems to be an organization for something else.
yunger mann, while that may be the case, i feel like a lot of the usual shadchanim do this as a side job, and are busy with other jobs and other things. Some shadchanim get onto lists because they personally know singles that need shidduchim…
It’s better to find someone who intensely focuses on shidduchim and is paid to do so.
if you know of anyone else you can recommend please keep suggestions coming.
thank youMarch 8, 2011 10:16 pm at 10:16 pm #749451ha ha ha haMember
in our family and friends they are very successful some of them are quite well known they only charge after there is a mazel tov get your name there and remind them from time to time that you existMarch 8, 2011 11:29 pm at 11:29 pm #749452
You seem to have strong ideas about what works and want doesn’t in terms of getting attention for specific girls.
I’m just curious how many shadchanim have you dealt with/spoken to over the last 3 years upon which you are basing opinions.
I’m also curious what kind of money you think would work as a retainer to get a specific shadchan to focus intensly and produce results.
I’m sure for 500 dollars a very active shadchan would make your daughter a high priority and focus intnetly on her day after day week after week- NOT!
Oh and what if there might be someone else who is the person who would have the proper idea for this specific girls. I guess you should go put any and every shadchan willing to listen on retainer. That sounds very cost effective..
When you are finsihed answering those questions, I’ll let you know that tried and tested is reaching out and letting shadchanim (full time/part time/orgs/non orgs) know that you appreciate and recognize the time and effort it takes to get a date off the ground. let them know in recognition of that fact you will compensate them for dates produced. how much to compensate, that’s for each and everyone to decide for themselves. the more difficutly the situation the more i would think to offer. in addition getting to a date #4 should deserve a higher compensation than a date #1.
This has been proven to work
and FYI- Binyan Adei Ad is comprised of a group of SAINTS. (I know two of them personally) who dedicate inhuman amounts of time energy kishkes and every ounce of their being to help older singles. But i’m not sure if they get salaries so i guess they don’t count….
funny you didn’t even hear of them.
Dunno: I would answer you question but i risk offending the entire CR, so i’ll leave it unanswered.March 9, 2011 1:53 am at 1:53 am #749453hocker momMember
Binyan Adei Ad-Contact Mrs. Leiberman 917-204-9022March 9, 2011 3:04 am at 3:04 am #749454
too many to count,az. single (girls) get lost in the numbers… unless someone knows them personally.
for some reason, this seems to be a sensitive topic with you, az, im not sure why. are you by any chance a shadchan and feel that you’re not being compensated properly? or is it something else? all i asked was numbers or professional shadchanim, because other things don’t seem to work…
when conventional ways fail, it’s good to try something new.
of course reminding shadchanim is necessary, but it’s not always enough… though, that pay per date seems like an interesting idea…
i just regoogled binyan adei ad–is it a lubavitch matchmaking service? do they deal with all types or just lubavitch?
anyone else with ideas and numbers, please feel free to post!March 9, 2011 3:57 am at 3:57 am #749455yossi z.Member
I forget her hebrew name but Mrs. (Robin) meyerowitz from providence RI is a top notch shadchanis (I don’t know pay rates though)
😀 Zuberman! 😀March 9, 2011 4:40 am at 4:40 am #749456
yossi, do you have her number?March 9, 2011 6:26 am at 6:26 am #749457
Whatsamatter AZ- you too smart for other threads here?March 9, 2011 6:50 am at 6:50 am #749458
thanks hockerMarch 9, 2011 8:24 am at 8:24 am #749459
any others?March 9, 2011 11:00 am at 11:00 am #749460
AZ: Why does it seem that every time someone comes up with a solution or suggestion for themselves, that you seek to attack it?
Do you have a monopoly over how singles may be helped?
I came across a previous thread on this site.March 9, 2011 1:16 pm at 1:16 pm #749462
Sensitive, not really – important more likely. I’ve been on this topic for quite some time and I guess as a result of my involvement I have a good handle on which ideas work and which don’t
As i’ve stated previously on numerous threads, I am NOT a shadchan.
TBT: Monopoly, certainly not, a lot of researcech and time spent on the issue. Yes. Hey anyone can do whatever they like, I’m just offering insight from the field s to what has been tried and failed and what has been tried and worked.
Of coures any and everyone can feel to make the mistakes yourself and not learn from others.
(FYI- I have already tested the idea of shadchanim on retainer and it’s a misreable failure. It may help a girl here a girl there – much like without a retainer might- but overall a miserable failure)
Binyan adei ad is NOT a lubavitch org (though maybe there are two by the same name).
TBT, there are about 15 other threads that you missed 🙂March 9, 2011 1:23 pm at 1:23 pm #749463
TBT- I find this to be a common problem among many coffee roomers. It’s amazing how some people actually believe they are smartest. (AZ this is not directed to you personally.)March 9, 2011 1:30 pm at 1:30 pm #749464
i was just curious why you think this idea of appreciating and compensating people who spend time on singles even if it doesn’t result in engagement is a “AGE GAP” idea.
(on the macro level it actually is but on the micro level it isn’t at all.)March 9, 2011 1:43 pm at 1:43 pm #749465
i appreciate your comment!
smartest, not by a loooong shot. Input from hundreds and hundreds of people from all segments of the community over a extended period of time can make any person quite familar with any topic.March 9, 2011 1:48 pm at 1:48 pm #749466
Somehow, whichever Shadchan or organization you speak to (aside from Chassidim), the ratio of boys profiles to girls, they receive, is close to 1 to 10. That is the biggest problem. Perhaps AZ can explain better, because Im at a loss, despite being involved in Shidduchim myself. Now thats in the new to Shidduchim age group. As the singles age, it becomes worse. The amount of boys to girls profiles becomes even smaller.
My suspicion is that guys are approached by friends and relatives so much more, that they dont have to seek out Shadchanim and organizations for help in looking for possibilities.March 9, 2011 3:39 pm at 3:39 pm #749467
we’ve explained that phenomana 100x’s already.
thoese who get it, get it, those who don’t – i guess just won’t.
Ofcours: If you are someone who is involved in shidduchim i think it behooves you to take 3 minutes to understand it. It takes only 3 minutes, but it requires 3 minutes of thinking about it with a open mind without any preconceived notions.
Put all you personal thoeries, suspicions, first hand opinions to rest for 3 mintues and the age gap concept becomes ovious.
Simply put many many more girls beging dating every year than boys.
the rest is just a trickle effect from that reality.March 9, 2011 4:14 pm at 4:14 pm #749468
AZ, thoese who get it, get it, those who don’t – i guess just won’t……..Put all you personal thoeries, suspicions, first hand opinions to rest for 3 mintues and the age gap concept becomes ovious.
I ~W H O L E H E A R T E D L Y~ agree with the age gap problem, but I think theres more to it that that. Anyhow, imho there wouldnt be this 1 to 10 disparity as a result, if it was only the age gap problem. Even if every 23 y.o. guy married a 23 y.o. girl, the guys would need Shadchanim less.
If Im wrong and the age gap problem is the cause of the bulk of the problem, and that can be shown and proven to those in authority in our community (NOT wasted on the Shadchanim, who on their own cant change people’s minds and behavior as much), isnt it high time that it should be shown to them, and strongly encouraged, very publicly with much greater strength than it is now, by them????? Isnt that what Hashem would want to ease and prevent tears and suffering in our community?March 9, 2011 6:10 pm at 6:10 pm #749469
its a combination of factors that of course and az have mentioned plus others, like there aren’t many places for singles to meet on their own these days. 30 years ago it wasn’t like this.
but i dont want to digress from the topic.
please post any other numbers or contact info !March 9, 2011 6:15 pm at 6:15 pm #749470
1. would 70 R”Y count as “those in authority”. becuase they signed a letter clearly stating that Age Gap is the primary cause of the shiddcuh crisis.
2. the people redding the shidduchim are the MOST importnat ppl in this issue, becasue the boys will go out with the girls they are redd. if they hear names of 22 yr olds then they will go out with them. it they hear the names of the 19 year olds then they will go out with those instead.
In fact the ppl redding shiddcuhim (shadchanim and regualr ppl) play a far far greater role in alleviating the situation than anyone.
if you understood age gap properly you would understand why that is EXACTLY why the girls go running to shadhanim and the boys have no need to.March 9, 2011 7:02 pm at 7:02 pm #749471
snow: not enought meeting place. Gee i wonder how the boys get married… becaue they don’t seem to be having difficulty gettnig dates.
re phone numbers of shadchanim: as otheres have pointed out there are lists on other threads. In addition, the L’chaim org in monsey has a extensive list of tens and tens of shadchanim that they make avail for a $18 donation.
i was wondering (in all seriousness) what are you giong to do with a list if you plan on putting shadchanim on retainers. how many can you actually afford to put on a payproll.March 9, 2011 8:57 pm at 8:57 pm #749472
AZ, if you think that I can convince any guy or his mother to give preference to a girl from a specific age group over the other 10 he is redt to at the same time, you must be smoking something….
Unless he has heard from someone he holds in high esteem that this is what he should do. Perhaps regular reminders of what the 70 R”Y have said, are in order. People conveniently forget.
Some can be convinced, but they’re a tiny minority. The younger the better, past 20 perhaps, is what the mindset most often is.March 9, 2011 10:38 pm at 10:38 pm #749473
az, not looking for list of typical shadchanim. as mentioned earlier, prefer someone who deals with this exclusively and charges.
please continue posting numbers everyoneMarch 9, 2011 11:15 pm at 11:15 pm #749474
snow, I dont have numbers but Mrs Richards (caters more to the BP Heimish crowd) and Mrs Rose (caters more to the Flatbush Yeshivish and Modern Yeshivish types), both of Brooklyn, might be interested in an arrangement like you mentioned.March 10, 2011 1:11 am at 1:11 am #749475
ofcourse: i guess what i’m smoking it working becuase hundreds and hundreds such shidducim have taken palce in the last few years and shadchanim from the biggest names out there to regular people report that they are having a relatively esasy time getting yesses for slightly odler girls.
Suggestions that in the past that the phone would have been hung up on by the mother of the boys are now getting very serious consideration.
Snow: keep looking. After you try to reinvent the wheel come back and i’ll show u what works….March 10, 2011 3:24 am at 3:24 am #749476
Sometimes though, your point comes across a little sharp, or very sharp. Its probably the same drive that brings you to help so many people with barley a thank you (and probably many many disparaging remarks). But it does come across a little sharp, or very sharp.
(Just think of Penina and Chana.)
Snow: What I gather from AZ, may I make a suggestion. Hopefully you can find an honest an sincere shadchan (as most of them are) who will work for you, not voluntarily or optional basis, but almost as an employee. Then have them also contact other shadchonim etc, and tell them that quality suggestions (that produce x amount of dates etc) will be compensated. Your advocate as well should get something, say $25 additional (or as you see fit) for having made the contact to the other shadchan who produced these dates.
Truth is, this hired shadchan may even be a responsible friend or relative. But they get paid a nice fee, just for investing time, and they will now be able to move other shadchonim on your behalf (as $$$$$ does talk).
Just a thought based upon your idea, mixed in with the presented research. May you find your zivug soonMarch 10, 2011 3:51 am at 3:51 am #749477
TBT: thanks for the therapy….
not sure why you would hire someone to do the work, but you can try it… I would suggest simply reach out yourself and make known that you appredciated ppl’s time and efforts and in recognition for that you are ready to compensate for results. The people receiving the gelt have no pressure (and they prefer it that way) and the person paying – only pays for results.
If you think by paying up front you will have some on retainer, by all means go for it. If you are interested in somone who has been there/done that/ FYI-it doesn’t work.
in addition, somoneone who is presently a shadchan will not spend theier time networking for you to find other shadchanim. A shadchan redds shidduchim, if they were singles advocates trying to get you attention from other shadchanim then they aren’t doin what they want to be doing.
Having a friend/relative/ connected person reach out on your behalf to shadchanim and let them know how much you appreciated their time and effort…
yeah that works, just ask the communities that are doing it with tremendous success..March 10, 2011 4:08 am at 4:08 am #749478
Lets be real. I know of many good, normal girls whose parents got hold of lists, and repeatedly, politely, called these Shadchanim, whose names were on these lists, for months, and never got a single return call.March 10, 2011 4:25 am at 4:25 am #749479
Ofcourse: How dare you suggest anything other than AZ’s ideas/research will work. And even if it will work for an individual, we must attack them and discourage them, since its not an age-gap solution.March 10, 2011 4:42 am at 4:42 am #749480
I see all the Mailos with solving the age gap, but the Klal needs more Intensive Emergency First Aid by people who people listen to, in other areas as well. The presently small percentage of guys willing to date same age girls, isnt going to change things enough.March 10, 2011 1:57 pm at 1:57 pm #749481
Please expain how appreciating and compensating ppl for the time and effort they put into your child is a “age gap” solution??
That should AND DOES help individual girls/their families who put it in play.
Disclaimer: it is not a magic solution. If a specific single is a difficult situation, they can and will generate attetnion but no gurantees of a date. Shadchanim can only try, and being appreciated for theri time and efforts is a very powerful motivator. They are NOT kol yachol.
For the record I am open to any and all idea to help the yachid and the rabbim with regards to shidduchim.
I ask one simple request. test it/tweek it and when you have proven results implement. It that being unreasonable??
Theories are a dime a dozen and not necessariyl helpful.
Results talk. Bring them to the table and i’m all ears.
Ofcoure: re: lists of shadchanim. Of course! (pun intended) but Snow wants to see for themselves…
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