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- This topic has 91 replies, 28 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 10 months ago by takahmamash.
December 3, 2009 4:44 am at 4:44 am #590886
Shidduch World was created with one primary goal; to help singles and their parents in the process of Shidduchim!
It is our sincere hope that by working together with concerned Yidden from around the world, we will merit to facilitate many more Shidduchim in Klal Yisrael!
732 534-4539 Call for more informationDecember 3, 2009 5:58 am at 5:58 am #1013767pookieMember
i wish you and the program successDecember 3, 2009 10:55 am at 10:55 am #1013768MaKesherMember
What kind of shidduch help? CuriousDecember 3, 2009 5:47 pm at 5:47 pm #1013769
This is a great idea!! It’s very worthwhile to tell any single you know to check out this website, it’s under Rabbinic guidance.December 4, 2009 4:33 am at 4:33 am #1013770youdontknowmeMember
It is an interesting idea but there needs to be a lot more people using it for it to be real useful. Maybe they can work into the system a way for other shadchanim to add information on their existing “clients”. I know it’s difficult to get shadchanim to work together but I think that would be great. The website is done very well and I hope it’s successful.December 5, 2009 11:12 pm at 11:12 pm #1013771ronrsrMember
Have you heard of Shidduch in a box? For those having a wedding soon, there is a kit you can get that includes info questionnaires for the single friends and relatives of the happy couple. They are distributed at the simcha, and the bride & groom take them home with them.
When things are a bit more settled for them, they break out the questionnaires, and start redting shidduchs among their friends and relations.
They say they are endorsed by Rabbi Menachem Nissel, Rabbi Boruch Smith, Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky, and Rabbi Yom Tov Glazer.
There is more information at http://www.shidduchinabox.com
It’s actually a very good idea. Where better to find your mate? How better to spread the simcha?December 6, 2009 2:44 am at 2:44 am #1013773
I find it a little puzzling to think that there are people out there who would be willing to pay a relatively unknown organization $360.00 a month to attempt to find a Shidduch for them (Shiduchworld offers extra help at that price). Can anyone clarify please? Who are the Shadchanim who work for them? If it’s private, why?December 6, 2009 3:26 am at 3:26 am #1013774ronrsrMember
I, too, dislike websites that don’t identify themselves sufficiently. Sometimes you have to dig to find out who the site owner really is.
A quick scan of public WHOIS data shows that that URL – http://www.shidduchworld.com is registered to a private individual in Lakewood, NJ.December 6, 2009 4:19 pm at 4:19 pm #1013775
ronrsr – it’s registered to a very dedicated person who volunteers his time to try to help singles. He felt that there are many singles that won’t be comfortable on most dating websites, and need another option. He invested much time, effort, and money to create a site – under the direction of Rabbonim – that is appropriate for all Frum singles.December 6, 2009 5:56 pm at 5:56 pm #1013776
From the site:”Looking to do some more direct Hishtadlus? Hire a professional Shadchan (Fee starts at $360.00 a month) to work consistently on your behalf. Our experienced Shadchanim are warm, caring, sincere, Yirei Shamayim, and absolutely devoted to making Shidduchim! Our Hire a Shadchan service will connect you with a Shadchan who specializes in your particular circle: Heimishe, Yeshivish, Chassidish, Litvish, Sefardi, etc. Once hired, your personal Shadchan will do his utmost to find and Redt the most appropriate Shidduchim for you”.
Many have been doing that for free, for centuries, only to get a fee if a Shidduch materializes.December 6, 2009 6:13 pm at 6:13 pm #1013777
AZOI.IS – that’s one of the features of the site. I’m not sure how that works, and can’t answer your question on that. But, the main purpose of the site is the database -singles enter their info & are matched up with possible shidduchim. Which, by the way, is at no cost to them.December 6, 2009 6:21 pm at 6:21 pm #1013778
To all my coffee room friends,
As one who is intimately involved in the frum Shidduch scene, we are pleased to inform you of a brand new resource being launched to assist in the Shidduch process for our community. As you surely know, the burgeoning growth of our families bli ayin horah, along with the growing diversity of our community, has made the Shidduch process today, perhaps more challenging then ever before.
While the media focus on this subject has brought about an increased awareness of the issue, it seems that the only real solution to this problem is to create new approaches and venues for accessibility to the growing number of frum singles. Particularly, singles with limited connection or exposure to the broader communal infrastructure.
The proliferation of internet usage has brought about a host of matchmaking websites, many of them ostensibly geared toward the Orthodox community. Yet these websites really do not serve the needs of our circles. As a community, we recognize the inappropriateness of bochurim and Bais Yaakov girls scanning through pictures on a website in search of their basherte. We are in no way prepared to do away with the time-honored approach of consummating our shidduchim through a Shadchan. Nor are we willing to, in any way, compromise on our community’s standards of tznius and discretion within this process.
Yet, the internet is an immensely powerful tool, which can be used to help mitigate the challenge of shidduchim in unprecedented way.
It is with this in mind that ShidduchWorld.org was launched by a group of dedicated volunteers. The mission of Shidduch World is not to revolutionize or change the process of shidduchim in any way.Rather, our goal to harness the power of the web to create a database resource through which singles and Shadchanim would gain access to each other in an expedient and effective manner.
With the guidance of Gedolim and Rabbonim, we have created a website where singles can upload their profiles, which would include a basic description of themselves and their background including their Shul affiliation and personal rabbinic contact. Profiles of our listed singles would then be accessible and searchable, without names or photos, so that other singles would view potential shidduchim in the database based upon compatibility factors alone. Shidduch World will feature a staff of Shadchanim available to carry through Shidduchim upon request. Shidduch World’s Shadchanim would also consistently work on shidduchim for the singles in our database based upon their preferences and listed profiles.
The effectiveness of such a database cannot be overestimated, and has earned the wholehearted support of leading gedolim and rabbonim. The site also features options for hiring a personal Shadchan, as well as for posting one’s name for Tefillah and for asking questions anonymously from our affiliated Shadchanim, Rabbonim and Doctors.
We are reaching out you and others who can assist us in building the Shidduch World database. By compiling a list of singles and their profiles and submitting it to us (with the single’s permission, of course) you can assist us in the creation of this vital resource. We have also attached a convenient letter, which you can forward to your list of singles and their families, urging them to join in this project.
Please visit our site at http://www.shidduchworld.org for a more detailed description of this service and for information on how Shadchanim would maintain access to our database.
For any further questions, please feel free to contact us at [email protected]. We look forward to your assistance and we thank you in advance for your time.
In this zechus, may be blessed from Shomayim with a Happy Chanuka for your entire family; a year filled with nachas and hatzlacha in all endeavors.
This service is meant to encourage a shadchan to give your profile more attention than others.December 6, 2009 7:05 pm at 7:05 pm #1013779December 6, 2009 8:05 pm at 8:05 pm #1013780
The single best thing parents of girls 21-25 can do is pay someone to look out for their daughter. No different than tutoring or any of the myriads of other services out there.
Whether the proper approach is to hire a shadchan who is already overwhelmed or perhaps to hire a individual who is not so harried such a a go getter who has access to the types of boys appropriate to that specific girl is debatable.
How many “paying customers” should one shadchan be allowed to take under their wing is also debatable as it is unrealistic for any one individual to focus on more than a couple of girls- It just doesn’t work.
However the basic concept is pashut. Take it or leave it, no one is forcing it on anybody.
I”m curious what does one get for $360. How is it monitored. How do I know that I’m getting special attention? Obviously no one can guarantee a marriage but is it blind trust through a website (bad idea) or am I guaranteed something???December 6, 2009 8:18 pm at 8:18 pm #1013781
BB1, I think you can’t beat success as an advertisement, and if they’ll come through with many engagements, that’s the time to offer “special treatment packages”, and not before, when no success has been proven.
Otherwise, IMHO, it’s a way to risk/spend money for the rich and/or desperate, and their offer to look for Shidduchim for free, for others, where they admit to spending less time, becomes less interesting and attractive.December 6, 2009 8:48 pm at 8:48 pm #1013782
The Rabbonim are aware of how the Hire A Shaddchan service
This service is to pay for the shaddchans work just as you would pay an accountant or other proffesional to work or service your needs.December 6, 2009 8:56 pm at 8:56 pm #1013783
The assigned Shaddchan assigned to you is committed to redd you at least one shidduch weekly suitable to your expectations. There is a limited amount of how many singles a shaddchan can work for.
Every hired Shidduch World Shaddchan is required to submit a log to Shidduch Worlds staff with the singles that they suggested to that single.
$360. is a monthly fee.
Thank YouDecember 6, 2009 9:12 pm at 9:12 pm #1013784
To all who are looking for a bashert!
Please note the main feature of Shidduch World is that you can find your own zivug in a very kosher way.
Read our TAG LINE
THE SHADDCHAN AT YOUR FINGERTIPS
For those that question our success please read:
A LETTER FROM YATED, LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Y.L. & M.C.December 6, 2009 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #1013785
Shidduchworld, by redd the shidduch, do you mean that you get a yes from the other side before presenting it to the customer?December 6, 2009 10:34 pm at 10:34 pm #1013786
They will redd or will get a yes? Redding is easy it could be just throwing out a name. How many yesses are they getting??? that is the critical question???December 6, 2009 10:35 pm at 10:35 pm #1013787
How many shiddcuhim has shidduch world made to date???
How many dates have they set up??December 6, 2009 11:17 pm at 11:17 pm #1013788
Please clarify your question?December 6, 2009 11:28 pm at 11:28 pm #1013789artchillParticipant
“You wrote $360. Is a monthly fee”
If this isn’t a typo, please clarify.
EDITEDDecember 7, 2009 12:40 am at 12:40 am #1013790
It is not a typo. ShidduchWorld doesn’t charge for using the basic service of the website such as uploading a profile and requesting information of other profiles that would be suitable for you. Btw, no other Jewish website has this service at no charge.
The goal of the website is not “hire a shaddcan” . The goal is to enable people to spend their time searching for their zivug instead of waiting for a shadchan to work for them.
In regards to “hire a shadchan”, perhaps you should think about how many hours are put into a shidduch – getting it off the ground, date after date on the phone with both sides and working with them until after 8 dates!!! ( & many times doesn’t even end up working!!) I think that shaddchanim work endless hours for free. By hiring your personal shadchen, you are getting a professional to work for you, without feeling that you are overburdening already overworked shadchonim who have hundreds of other singles whom they are working for.
This is a service that is being offered. No one is forced to use it. The many other services offered by ShidduchWorld are all free of charge, and nobody is getting rich off it!
Shidduch World Staff
emphasis added by moderatorDecember 7, 2009 12:55 am at 12:55 am #1013791
To all the singles out there, I would like to give you a glimpse as to what goes on in a Shaddchans home between our dates. Most Shaddchanim are not interested in wasting time just to please one of us out there. A lot of thought goes into every aspect before they give us a name to check into. As a human, they are allowed to make wrong suggestions. They are only here to help bring “Shleimus” to yours and our world. The time and phone calls they place on our behalfs cost money as well. It takes time from their families wives/husbands and anyone else involved. If you ever redd a Shidduch, or were involved with one, you surely understand why someone would charge a fee. You have the choice to advocate for yourselves. Most Shaddchonim are either Yeshiva men or people working in order to enhance our society. $360.00 is just a small amount to pay a Shaddchan to help us. You never know how many potential Shaddchonim will be turned on to adopt a single because of this small bonus from a single, thereby causing them to help others alon the way, and eventually do this all LiSheim Shomayim. Chances are you are giving Tzeddakah and in that Z’chus you’ll find your Bashert. Do a Chessed for one, and you might be doing a Chessed for yourself. Just as a side point, most Shaddchonim from the Lakewood, NJ area are people who are learning in Kollel and doing this on their side time. They are Yirei Shomayim who at the same time deserve a token of appreciation for their time and efforts spent on all our behalfs. May Hashem help each one of us to find our Bashert and help us help others to find theirs.December 7, 2009 1:28 am at 1:28 am #1013792oomisParticipant
” $360.00 is just a small amount to pay a Shaddchan to help us.”
Not on a monthly basis, it ain’t! That is not a token of appreciation. That is a utility bill.December 7, 2009 1:51 am at 1:51 am #1013793
I have found that in the past even if you hired someone for just a month, they didn’t just forget about you. They set up after that time as well. What was gained was that now my name was on their mind, although maybe not the first one on the table. In my eyes it’s a long term gain.December 7, 2009 2:08 am at 2:08 am #1013794
This whole discussion will be moot in a number of months. Either word will get out that they’re making more Shidduchim (as opposed to publicizing that they’ve made Shidduchim that the public finds were really made by others, which some Shidduch websites have done) than Shadchanim not asking for any pre-payment, or not.
This Hire a Shadchan operation will put off the general public from joining as non-paying members. No one wants to be second fiddle.
If they would have started as a totally free operation and had real success, they could have graduated to a paying operation, without a problem.
BTW, SYAS charges about $20.00 a month and is also done b’Tznius with Shadchanim matching profiles. Singles have an option of being visible to their Shadchan only.December 7, 2009 5:12 am at 5:12 am #1013796oomisParticipant
“BTW, SYAS charges about $20.00 a month and is also done b’Tznius with Shadchanim matching profiles. Singles have an option of being visible to their Shadchan only. “
That is a reasonable cost, and they do work to redt the shidduchim. The problems only really arise when people are not honest in what they post in their profiles. No one is verifying the information. Also, the shadchanim often steamroll over someone’s expressed wishes. My daughter was redt shidduchim with people who had dogs or cats, when she expressly put in her profile, “NO PETS,” and explained that she is very much afraid of dogs and is not particularly fond of cats, either. She also said she is a non-smoker who hates the smell of tobacco, and was still set up with a guy who smokes. She doesn’t want a shidduch with someone who expects to sit and learn and not earn a living for even a limited amount of time after the wedding. She was set up with several kollel types. Shadchanim have to listen to and respect what people say to them. These are not naarishkeiten.
It is nice to think, as Baltashchis does, that a shadchan who was hired for only a month will continue to “work” for you and keep you in mind, but I sincerely doubt it, as they will always have other paying customers, apparently, and if one is paying for their services, there is an obligation to that customer, certainly in teh customer’s mind.December 7, 2009 1:20 pm at 1:20 pm #1013797
oomis1105, re: “Shadchanim have to listen to and respect what people say to them. These are not naarishkeiten”.
Agreed! I predict that with the proliferation of Shidduch sites asking for big bucks, SYAS will become more popular, and have more members of all types among Yeshiva/Black Hat and Mod Yeshivish singles, making it easier to suit everyone’s needs in all areas.December 7, 2009 1:48 pm at 1:48 pm #1013798
For the record: having been involved in the process for a while (you know who i am), the idea of hiring a private advocate IS the proper approach and makes sense. (I hope u only do it with close the age gap in mind-othewise you are practically wasting your time)
However $360 a MONTH is ridiculous. In speaking to numerous shadchanim 1,500-2,000 per year and the shadchan can within reason guarantee 3 dates a year. To think you can promise more than that for normal good girls between the ages of 21-24 is simply unrealistic.December 7, 2009 2:59 pm at 2:59 pm #1013799
Wow. Maybe I’m naive, or poor, but it’s amazing that people who can spend 4k a year on this site are having problems getting shidduchim redt.December 7, 2009 3:25 pm at 3:25 pm #1013800
tzippi, ” it’s amazing that people who can spend 4k a year on this site are having problems getting shidduchim redt.” Brilliant!
Those that have that kind of money already have the ears of all the top Shadchanim.December 7, 2009 3:42 pm at 3:42 pm #1013801
To all those inquiring about hire a shadchan, please realize that it’s is NOT the goal of the website! The main part is our SEARCHABLE DATABASE where singles can look for suitable shidduchim ON THEIR OWN, at no charge.
Hiring a shadchan is a side service for those interested.
emphasis added by moderatorDecember 7, 2009 3:45 pm at 3:45 pm #1013802
(I hope u only do it with close the age gap in mind-othewise you are practically wasting your time)
You ar not a novi to know why there is a shidduch crisis. Everyon should do their best and only think for positive ways to help the situation.
EDITEDDecember 7, 2009 6:10 pm at 6:10 pm #1013804
Shidduchworld, thanks for clarifying. I had no reason not to believe you aren’t doing this l’shem shamayim. Hatzlacha.December 7, 2009 6:38 pm at 6:38 pm #1013805
baltashchis, most posts here are relevant.December 7, 2009 7:57 pm at 7:57 pm #1013808mybatMember
Why can’t we wish them luck and success instead of attacking them? If you don’t agree with the services, nobody is obligated to use them.December 7, 2009 8:25 pm at 8:25 pm #1013809
I think that everyone is focussing on 1 small part of this site. I think the main goal is to create a huge database of Frum singles. This is a great idea & I wish the dedicated person who set this up much Hatzlocha!!December 7, 2009 9:21 pm at 9:21 pm #1013810
To Mr. Nasi BB1
We have many national and international Shidduchim dating and we did make shidduchim. (through hire a Shaddchan and through our self search system. I am open to hear of all organizations that are trying to help others with Shidduchim. I did not start Shidduch World in order to solve the Creators problems. In Yiddish its called Klein Keppeldig when you think that only what you are doing is a solution.
The Shidduch World Staff
EDITEDDecember 7, 2009 9:33 pm at 9:33 pm #1013811
Thanks cholentkugelkishke for clarifying that the goal of the site is to help people in Shidduchim and not to take your money. I am not marketing for money. I spent close to $18,000.00 to build this site because I realized that there aren’t enough Shaddchanim to help that many singles looking for their Bashert, and by opening a website singles can find a suitable match. Harav Shmuel Kaminetsky Shlita looked thru the script of my site and encouraged me to create this website.
Hire A Shaddchan is a way to give Shaddchanim the incentive to work on a singles behalf. I am the owner of the site, and did not hire myself out as a Shaddchan. If you feel that everything comes to you and you want Shaddchanim to work for free, you have that choice.Please feel free to use our website for your benefit. There is no charge to register or to search for yourself.
We have many success stories.
Hatzlocha in finding your Bashert.December 7, 2009 10:35 pm at 10:35 pm #1013812BemusedParticipant
Dear Shidduch Solution,
Please don’t feel disheartened; you are doing a good thing. May Hashem bless you with success. YWN is a wonderful place, and the CR can be interesting. However, please realize that the CR likely has hundreds of readers who don’t join in to comment, and every good place also has the potential to be a clearinghouse for mocking.
I did not bother posting on this thread before, because I didn’t feel it was necessary to “validate” or applaud someone’s efforts to do a Mitzvah. Realize that many other people likely read, think “that’s a nice thing to do”, and move on. So, if you’re feeling bewildered by the rather negative feedback, it may not be reflective of the majority.
Hatzlacha RabbaDecember 7, 2009 10:47 pm at 10:47 pm #1013813BemusedParticipant
In deference to haifagirl, I believe it’s “might not” rather than “may not” :).December 7, 2009 10:58 pm at 10:58 pm #1013814strivingMember
Dear Shidduch Solution,
I’m with Bemused on this one. I’ve been reading this thread as it has evolved and I haven’t commented.
I think that what you’re doing is fantastic and I think that it takes an amazing person to take such initiative for change.
You should be matzliach and have siyaata dishmaya in your work!December 8, 2009 12:01 am at 12:01 am #1013815
Anything the is done to facilitate shidducim (close in age expecailly) is helpful. Anyone who is active in doing so sicharchem harbei meod.
The shaddchanim out there are hounded and abused and anyone who can encourage more people to get involve is doing a tremencous service.
The person running shidduch shidduch world it totally lsheim shamayimi-no question about it.
I was taken aback by publicly marketing of a specific part of your project where unwitting people who could then become disatisfied. It would do your project no good. If my comments where taken in any other vein I apologize. Addtionally, I should have called the phone number instead of using this public forum- very fair.December 8, 2009 11:57 pm at 11:57 pm #1013817
I am all with you that anyone redding Shidduchim whether a proffesional or amateur Shaddchan receives lots of abuse. Their Sechar is great.
From what I see, Shidduch World is trying to get more people involved in Shidduchim, without an ulterior motive. Anyone is capable of redding a Shidduch or able to come up with an idea. I believe that you must also be trying to minimize the singles out there, although I don’t know who you are.December 10, 2009 3:13 am at 3:13 am #1013819happy girlMember
the website is a great concept but I checked it out and there really are not a lot of young guys on the site. How long ago was this site created?December 10, 2009 7:10 am at 7:10 am #1013820haifagirlParticipant
Not a lot of older guys either.December 10, 2009 4:36 pm at 4:36 pm #1013821
happy girl & haifagirl – the site was only recently launched. That’s why people speading the word about it will greatly help in adding adding names of singles. The larger the database becomes, the more people will be helped.December 10, 2009 5:44 pm at 5:44 pm #1013822I can only tryMember
“…I spent close to $18,000.00 to build this site…“
Seriously, have you spoke to an accountant about possibly setting up your site / organization in a way that would be beneficial to yourself and other donors as a tax deduction?
Tizku lemitzvos for your endeavors at such an important inyan & hatzlocha raba.
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