Does a convert adopted by frum parents have a bashert?

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    Seems the person who gave that shiur is just giving his personal commentary on the current state of shidduchm in the frum world.


    Geirim were at Har Sinai and they had a neshoma already before birth (or rather rebirth occurring at time of geirus.)

    There’s no reason to think that geirim didn’t have a bashert before birth any more than a born Jew. And a Ger’s and a born Jew may have been bashert for each other.


    Joseph: You said, “There’s no reason to think that geirim didn’t have a bashert before birth any more than a born Jew. And a Ger’s and a born Jew may have been bashert for each other.”

    Thanks for your input. Believing that a ger could be one’s bashert changes the dating experiences of both gerim and Jews. If you’re a born Jew, then going into a shidduch date with a person who is a ger is a totally different experience if you don’t believe that he or she is destined for you.

    Yes, whoever we marry becomes our bashert, one might say.

    Yet still, when Jewish authority figures state that no ger could be a born-Jew’s bashert, bars are placed in the dating field that isolate gerim from the rest of the Yidden.


    ill repost
    ever hear of rus?
    she was a ger
    married a nasi gadol hador
    caused the creation of dovid hamelech along with the rest of his liniage up and down through mashiach
    which bar in shidduchim are you worried about?


    Yes he is 100% percent Jewish his soul was at har sini and his adopted parents are his parents


    A convert doesn’t have adopted parents. Indeed Judaism has no concept of adopted parents. In fact, a convert has no parents other then Avrohom and Sarah, as his birth parents have no relationship to him following his conversion. (Technically under pure Torah law he could even marry his biological mother if she also converts.)

    Reb Eliezer

    Joseph, I am an adoptive parent who adopted and converted my son from Columbia at six months. Now, at thiry five he is married to a religious girl having two daughters. He went to a prominent yeshiva in Staten Island called YTT- Yeshiva Tiferes Torah. He learns daily mishnayos and did a syum on all six sedorim. He started to learn daf yomi. According to Rav Moshe in Igros Moshe he is named after my father and my father in law as a son of mine. I think that a convert gets a neshoma and is assigned a basherte or bashert.

    Reb Eliezer

    Joseph, We based ourselves on this Igros Moshe YD 1,161, read it carefully. The convert doesn’t have birth parents but has adopted parents.


    When people with valid questions are discouraged by rabbis who tell them that “WE” don’t discuss such topics”, or “That’s Kabbalah, WE don’t discuss that”, they can do no better job at turning people away. That, and the fact that such answers indicate that the response is coming from someone that simply doesn’t know the answer, and has no idea what Kabbalah teaches.

    No one else gets to decide for you what is a valid question worthy of thought and/or consideration.


    “Whatever bashert means, it clearly does not Equate with chances for getting married…’ Further, since whatever “shidduch crisis” was created by the Ebeshter to provide a posting topic for bored CR participants, hashgacha paratis would suggest that such a ger would somehow be led to meet his/her beshert, under any scenario.

    Reb Eliezer

    Yes, one gains a neshama and the same time a bashert/basherte is designated.


    To “rational”: If you truly believe that Hashem runs the world, you chose the wrong screen name.

    TS Baum

    Hashem sees the future. If someone is a ger, Hashem knew he will become a ger and create a bashert for him.
    And everyone marries their bashert. If you think someone is your bashert but you don’t end up marrying them, then they were not actually your bashert. Bashert means the one who you will marry. Hashem will lead you there.

    Reb Eliezer

    Both my son and daughter were adopted and converted as a baby. The Rav did not provide the letter of conversion until they became obligated to do mitzvos as until then they might have the option to revert back. My son is 37 and my daughter 35 being both shabbos observant married with children Torah following Jews. They went to Yeshiva and Seminary.

    Reb Eliezer

    Why can’t Hashem designate the bashert/basherte at the time of gerus?

    eishis chayil

    yes he does, chazal never say that the arbaim yom kodem is only for yidden


    R’ Reisman once related that htis question came up when he hosted a couple both geirim, he or they asked if there marriage was bashert.

    He asked them what they would rather, and both insisted they would rather it be bashert.
    He asked (in the shiur, I’m not sure how much of this was in conversation with them) Who cares? certainly, its a bit interesting but practically why does it matter, to the point that they bot h were adamant that it was bashert.

    He mused aloud, that he thinks what drives this is that when things get tough/ hard, we can use it to feel better saying say “oh well, he/she is my bashert ”

    This isn’t bad per se.
    Just an interesting observation (at least I thought so)


    > designate the bashert/basherte

    nitpicking, according to Sotah, the 40 day thing is: a person X is matched to a daughter of person Y (that according to most customs, was not born yet!). So, all you get designated is a F-I-L! You still may have a choice between the sisters! And possibly this is a pru-u-rvu brocha to the F-I-L too ….

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