Does seminary’s cause a shidduch crisis?

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  • #1835176
    ak98
    Participant

    Does seminary’s cause a shidduch crisis?

    #1835212

    Mmmm, quality content.

    #1835215
    pro geshmake yidden
    Participant

    Does grammar mistakes?

    #1835247
    UncleMo
    Participant

    I don’t know but I haven’t yet figured out what good it does for Antoine but the families in EY who rely on it to make a living. What exactly does a girl walk away with that they didn’t already get in high school and/or that they cannot get in a US seminary????

    #1835262
    PuhLease
    Participant

    Oh for the love of Pete…

    HOW MANY ACCOUNTS DO YOU HAVE!?!?

    <Eye Roll> It’s amazing… my eyeballs get so much exercise reading these pages thy are the most well developed muscles I have…

    #1835266
    PuhLease
    Participant

    @Rand0m3x

    It just kind of hugs you, like a nice bowl of hot creamy soup on a freezing cold day. 🙂

    #1835272
    Someone in Monsey
    Participant

    UncleMo, spending a year in Eretz Yisroel, particularly immersed in Torah, is incomparable.

    #1835280
    1
    Participant

    Yes

    #1835310
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    No….but repeated postings in frum media about a Fake News created “Shidduch Crisis” might eventually traumatize every 14 yo bas Yisroel who hasn’t yet locked-in her besschert (not to mention the stress level of her parents).

    #1835315
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    No….but repeated postings in frum media about a Fake News created “Shidduch Crisis” might eventually traumatize every 14 yo bas Yisroel who hasn’t yet locked-in her besschert (not to mention the stress level of her parents).

    3 votes for this one
    {insert laughing emoji here}

    #1835481
    The little I know
    Participant

    Dunno. But we gotta blame somebody. Any liberal Dems here who want to blame Trump? When we exhaust ourselves with these pursuits, we might stop relying on the dramas of the “Shidduch Crisis”, investigate to see if one indeed exists, and then propose strategies to make things better. Meanwhile, I am not convinced there is a crisis at the sociological level. I do know there are singles around, and actually know several. I have yet to see data that reflects anything that deserves to be considered a crisis, though the individual singles are certainly experiencing one.

    #1835491
    yochy
    Participant

    Ii is definitely a crisis that 10% of girls remain single. Any person with any common sense knows many single girls and much fewer boys so that should tell you something. Even if you didn’t see data though, you should realize there has an issue because when boys continue to marry girls much younger – the numbers can’t be sustained because there will always be well more 19 year old girls than 23 and 24 years old boys. Only solution to this is to date close in age. So to answer your question seminary actually in part is the only mitigating factor that helps reduce the crisis- albeit not nearly enough or else girls would begin dating even younger. Actually theoretically if girls went for two or three years there would be even a smaller crisis . Of course that may not be very realistic and it would be much more ideal if boys starting dating at the time demanded of them by pirkei avos .

    #1835527
    Shaindel6
    Participant

    Shidduch crisis? I wish my 28 year old son – yes, a boy, male – would get married.

    #1835543
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Shaindel6: Mazel tov on having a SON who is also “a male boy”…..he should hopefully find his beschert soon, .preferably someone’s daughter who is a girl and female.

    #1835611
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    GH – she had a comma between male and boy. her point was obviously that there are also boys looking for shidduchim

    #1835738
    lkwdstrong
    Participant

    wait- am i slow or something ? why would seminary be causing the shidduch crisis ? girls should start shidduchim even earlier ???? that will just make the age gap even bigger and worsen the shidduch crisis, no ?

    #1835759
    yochy
    Participant

    lkwdstrong you are not slow but absolutely correct. It may not be a bad idea for the girls to band together and announce that if the boys don’t start dating earlier- they will not date until later- perhaps 21 or so. Or that they won.t date a boy over 21 or 22. It would take all the girls to do it together though but would be wildly effective.

    #1835788
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    Yochy- what a great idea! instead of looking for the zivug Hashem designated for us, let’s make our own criteria and actively avoid shidduchim sent our way that don’t fit our made up rules! 🤦‍♀️How could we not have thought of that years ago?!

    #1835795
    lkwdstrong
    Participant

    Syag lchochma- and why exactly is it ok to say that seminary is causing the shidduch crisis etc…? Why was OP not making dif criteria by suggesting it’s seminary ? Just explain it to me cuz I’m confused

    #1835800
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    It’s not okay . Its just some poster thinking it’s funny cuz of the other threads.

    #1835805
    Shaindel6
    Participant

    Thnx siyag lechochma for corrrcting GH. When i read his comment, i was disappointed that my post had been misunderstood.

    #1835807
    lkwdstrong
    Participant

    Syag lchochma- got it. Thanks for clarifying 😀

    #1835821
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Of course seminaries cause the shidduch crisis. The shidduch crisis is caused by boys asking for too much money, leaving girls whose parents can’t afford it without a shidduch. Some familes go into major debt to fund the outrageous tuition fees charged by the seminaries, so can’t afford to marry the girls off afterwards.

    Alternatively:

    Of course seminaries cause the shidduch crisis. The shidduch crisis is caused by too many girls wanting to marry learning boys, and there not being enough learning boys for them to marry. Who brainwashed them to want to marry learning boys? The seminaries, of course.

    Alternatively:

    Of course seminaries cause the shidduch crisis. The whole shidduch crisis is a hoax, designed to make someone a profit. Now let’s see who stands to profit.
    As everyone knows, a girl can’t get a shidduch unless she goes to seminary. Therefore, seminary is an absolute requirement for a shidduch, creating a huge demand. The law of supply and demand says the higher the demand relative to the supply, the higher the price people will pay. So obviously, it’s the owners of the seminaries who created the shidduch crisis hoax in order to be able to charge their exorbitant tuition fees and still fill up.

    Hence, the seminaries caused the shidduch crisis.

    #1835876
    ak98
    Participant

    @Daasyochid This is exactly the point of the question

    #1835881
    takahmamash
    Participant

    Perhaps it would be better to spend less time worrying about the shidduch crisis and more time learning to write English properly.

    #1835882
    PuhLease
    Participant

    Seriously? Do we really NEED another thread arguing the same riiculous points?

    #1835952
    yochy
    Participant

    @daasyochid

    I don’t understand anything that you have said.

    Point #1 The only reason the boys can ask for money is that they have an unfair advantage due to their marrying younger girls which there are more of so the boys have the upper hand and can make demands. Remember supply and demand.
    Point # 2
    If there were equal amounts of boys and girls in the game- both sides would equally feel the pressure to compromise. Since there is not due to marrying into an age gap scenario once again boys can do whatever they want
    Point # 3
    Once again it may be true what you say that the seminaries are trying to make money but the only reason that all the girls all of a sudden feel the need to go the Israeli seminaries is to impress boys so that they will not be on the losing end of this unfair game that the boys are playing. Once again if the numbers in the game were equal there would be much less pressure to do all sorts of things to impress the boys and everything would work itself out organically.

    So as you may notice the MATH is driving all of this. Additionally even when people are getting married they are marrying girls in many cases that are out of their league-because they could- and then they are finding it difficult to maintain.

    @syaglchochoma G-d in his torah states what age boys should start dating. Please don’t now blame g-d for this when we refuse to heed his advice

    #1835965
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    yochy – Try reading that again. I wasn’t blaming Gd, I was telling you that your idea is contrary to what Hashem has asked of us. How could you have mixed that up?

    #1835978
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    @daasyochid

    I don’t understand anything that you have said.

    Yes, and the rest of your post demonstrates that. I was trolling.

    Yochy and Syag, you seem to agree that we should do what Hashem wants from us, but disagree as to what Hashem wants from us.

    I think we’re in need of guidance as to what He wants from us. What do the gedolim say?

    #1835994
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    it depends which gedolim you decide to listen to, based on what you are hoping to hear.

    #1836015
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Wow, that’s quite cynical.

    #1836030
    mseren
    Participant

    #truth

    Regardless, even if seminaries don’t cause the shidduch crisis, they still cause a $25,000 burning hole in your parents’ wallets.

    #1836023
    yochy
    Participant

    @syag lechochma How is my idea contrary to what g-d asked of us? Where did he ask us to marry at 23 or 24 all of a sudden? All of chazal that discuss this subject mention earlier times as best as I can find. I haven’t found a single place that states that boys should delay marriage for this long. And look how much aggravation and suffering this relatively new trendy idea has caused already. When you mention the difficulty girls are having in chassish or Israeli or other circles they look at you like you fell off the moon and have no idea what you are talking abut.

    #1836046
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    @yochy, when you say “It may not be a bad idea for the girls to band together and announce that if the boys don’t start dating earlier- they will not date until later- perhaps 21 or so. Or that they won.t date a boy over 21 or 22.”, do you mean they should refuse to date as a form of protest or as a practical means to close the age gap?

    #1836080
    yochy
    Participant

    @daas yochid I think that either way that they would have in mind- the goal is the same – to close the gap and ensure that there are 100 boys for 100 girls.

    #1836110
    headingfoward
    Participant

    Who are you to define the crisis in the world?
    Who decided its a Shidduch CRISIS?
    Is it not a crisis that Moshiach didn’t come yet?
    Is it not a crisis that cancer kills so many young parents?
    Is it not a crisis that our world is so immoral?

    Is G-d not in control?

    #1836165
    pro geshmake yidden
    Participant

    I went to seminary and it saved my life.
    And only people who are alive can get married
    Duh

    #1836733

    what a great idea! instead of looking for the zivug Hashem designated for us, let’s make our own criteria and actively avoid shidduchim sent our way that don’t fit our made up rules! 🤦‍♀️How could we not have thought of that years ago?!

    I thought we did.

    #1836734

    Testing (part 1)

    #1836735

    Testing (part 2)

    #1836736

    Testing (part 3)

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