August 13, 2013 6:23 pm at 6:23 pm #610354
I’ve heard of a “minhag” to drink yourself to sleep after a bad date. What do the esteemed CR fellas think about this?August 13, 2013 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #974270
i think after a good date too. and every other night. in fact, im pretty hammered right about now.August 13, 2013 8:22 pm at 8:22 pm #974271Rav TuvParticipant
I limit my drinking to Shabbos ando days that end in “y”.August 13, 2013 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm #974272
As a relative of a drinker…..really bad idea!!!
Strengthen your faith, and simply laugh at how disastrous it was with a friend…NO hang-over, guaranteed. And you won’t kill the next day.August 13, 2013 9:04 pm at 9:04 pm #974273
Sounds like this minhag came from Billy O’Hara. And what type of alcohol? Does it change depending on how bad date went or what girl looked like? Sounds like this is an explanation of where the rabbi/ jew … walks into a bar jokes came from.
and speaking of walk into a bar joke,
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve strings here.”
The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, “Hey, aren’t you a string?”
The string says, “Nope, I’m a frayed knot.”
(and yes I am aware of jokes thread, but this is knot just about a single thread)August 13, 2013 10:24 pm at 10:24 pm #974274golferParticipant
I noticed, stan, that you wanted to know what the fellas think. Guess you already know the non-fellas, commonly know as ladies, would think it’s a horrendous idea. Call a friend and laugh about how awful it was. If he doesn’t know who you just went out with, you can enjoy describing her down to the last excruciating, grueling detail. And be happy you got off easy, and spent only a couple of hours in her insufferable company. Some people get a life sentence!
Nice, Burnt S!!August 14, 2013 4:20 pm at 4:20 pm #974275ObstacleIllusionParticipant
I thought this thread was going to be drinking through the date, not afterwards, of which I’m a total advocate for. Yeah, I think it’s completely okay to have a beer after a bad date. If you come home and get plastered from a run-of-the-mill bad date then there is clearly something you need to work through.August 15, 2013 7:04 am at 7:04 am #974276
Theres a minhag to abuse alcohol by many people today. What’s your point?August 15, 2013 10:30 am at 10:30 am #974277Shraga18Participant
Personally, I wouldn’t let my daughter go out with anyone that has such a “minhag”.August 15, 2013 12:50 pm at 12:50 pm #974278
WIY, theres no need to get snarky with me. If you had actually read the comments of the other posters you would see that there are arguments both ways. What is YOUR point?August 15, 2013 2:12 pm at 2:12 pm #974279
No snark intended. Its not acceptable to drink oneself under the table except ( according to some opinions) on Purim when it is a mitzvah. There is no valid reason why a person should respond to a bad date with “oh let me get slammmed out of my mind. ” If indeed there is such a minhag growing I have not heard about it and pray that it is not true. However if people can get slammed on Shabbos on a regular basis forno good reason I guessthey can do so in middle of the week as well.August 15, 2013 3:11 pm at 3:11 pm #974280
I am with the parent who would not want the daughter to go out with a guy with such a minhag. And btw, maybe the GIRL feels the need for a drink after that date, too…
For any guy who has contemplated this minhag – spend your time better, davening that the next date will bring you the right zivug. And also spend the time thinking about what YOU might have done to make the date a better experience.
My son has gone out with several young ladies some were shayach for him and many l’chatchilah apparently were not, but he has only one time said to me that it was a bad date (the girl would not engage in any conversation at all, no matter what topic he tried to bring up or ask her about herself, just gave one-word responses, even to open-ended questions). My husband also told me that he could honestly say he never had a bad date with anyone, just that the girls were not for him or he for them, until he met me.
I know this was a topic about drinking away a bad date and perhaps it was slightly tongue in cheek, but you know what – drinking away ANYTHING is a troubling sign of a deeper potential problem, in my humble opinion.August 15, 2013 6:19 pm at 6:19 pm #974281
WIY- point taken. However the minhag was in parentheses. Its a potential way for people to get through a rough time, not some kind of bizare drinking gameAugust 15, 2013 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #974282Menachem MelamedParticipant
Anyone who uses alcohol or any other drug in such a reckless manner is at a great risk of ending up with a much more serious problem. Using alcohol in this way is step one to becoming an alcoholic.August 15, 2013 6:46 pm at 6:46 pm #974283
“Its a potential way for people to get through a rough time”
A bad date is not a rough time, and drinking is not the answer it just helps you to forget the question.August 15, 2013 7:34 pm at 7:34 pm #974284
There are way more healthful ways for people to get through a rough time, that do not involve alcohol.August 16, 2013 12:20 am at 12:20 am #974285
WIY- a bad date is not a rough time? how now, brown cow? a breakup after going out for several months? sounds like pretty rough stuff to me.
Oomis- what would you advise?August 16, 2013 5:38 am at 5:38 am #974286RABBAIMParticipant
Sit and learn for 20 minutes and you’ll forget the difficulty of the date. Much healthier and more of what Hashem wants.August 16, 2013 9:01 pm at 9:01 pm #974287
RABBAIM also pray/ say tehilim and remember that we are loved by HashemAugust 18, 2013 1:32 am at 1:32 am #974288
Oomis- what would you advise? “
I think you chalk the date up to another experience in learning what is NOT right for you, and realize you are now one step closer to meeting your zivug. Even a bad date has a purpose by helping you to crystallize in your own mind what you absolutely do NOT want in your zivug. I definitely don’t recommend drinking. That is a slippery slope. We have to deal with our disappointments in a mature and acceptable way. Drinking until you fall asleep is neither of those things, IMO.August 19, 2013 4:46 am at 4:46 am #974289
Why is it that you can drink a drink but not food a food?
(disclaimer- I did not make this one up credit goes to someone else)August 22, 2013 6:11 pm at 6:11 pm #974291Bookworm120Participant
This thread immediately made me think of the “bad dates” scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark….. 🙂August 22, 2013 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #974292RedlegParticipant
“I am with the parent who would not want the daughter to go out with a guy with such a minhag.”
That’s okay. I wouldn’t want to go out with her daughter either. But, frankly, I can’t imagine a date so bad that one would feel the need to blot out the memory of it, unless the date involved the police, thousands of dollars in damages, a wrecked car, Mexican drug runners, etc.
Having said that, however, there isn’t anything wrong with taking an occasional nightcap and you don’t even need an excuse for it.August 22, 2013 10:27 pm at 10:27 pm #974293Veltz MeshugenerMember
Whenever I tried drinking away a bad date I inevitably ended up drunk dialing
the shadchan of course.August 23, 2013 3:33 am at 3:33 am #974294Bookworm120Participant
@Veltz Meshugener — LOL! 😀 If anything, I would theoretically need ice coffee beforehand (although that might just make my shidduch more inclined to drink afterward because I’d be so hyper)!September 9, 2013 7:25 am at 7:25 am #974295September 9, 2013 12:13 pm at 12:13 pm #974296
Having said that, however, there isn’t anything wrong with taking an occasional nightcap and you don’t even need an excuse for it. “
We do not disagree on that, but that is NOT the subject of this particular thread. The OP commented that there apparently is a “minhag” by some guys to drink until they fall asleep, after a bad date. That is nowhere NEAR the same ballpark as taking an occasional nightcap (not nightcapS). A guy who feels the need and actually has “the minhag” to drink to oblivion just because he had a bad date (and we are NOT talking about breaking up after “dating for months” – that was not the OP’s comment), has a potential drinking problem in the making. What’s next – he had a bad day at work, didn’t get the subway in time, had a bad hair day? Some guys will look for ANY excuse to get into a drunken stupor, and perhaps that started with such a minhag. Alcohol is meant to be something that we can enjoy in moderation. What is being mentioned here, hardly fits that description.September 9, 2013 4:09 pm at 4:09 pm #974297
its not a minhag. its a chov gamur.September 9, 2013 4:47 pm at 4:47 pm #974298RedlegParticipant
OOMIS, An actual minhag to get sloppy drunk after a bad date? Ich hab kein mal night gehert. Can anyone define a “bad date” that would require drinking to oblivion?September 9, 2013 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #974299
Redleg, that’s what the OP was asking about. I never heard of it, either.September 9, 2013 8:05 pm at 8:05 pm #974300
May I hypothesize for a moment?[Don’t get all irked; you can ignore me completely:)]And let’s say you marry the girl of your dreams, and you two get into a stressful argument. Again, the bottle? And your boss criticizes you in front of a co-worker. The bottle? Coping skills ARE WORTH GOLD! Lots of ways to attain them.September 10, 2013 4:16 pm at 4:16 pm #974301
eclipse- the bottle will always be there for you.September 11, 2013 10:53 pm at 10:53 pm #974302funnyboneParticipant
How about a beer with cholent? And a piece of overnight kugel? You can eat AND drink away a bad date! Don’t forget some chocolate for dessert, bad dates must get chocolate…September 12, 2013 3:30 am at 3:30 am #974303
Toi: “for you”- you mean that generally I hope!
Anyway, it may “always be there”, but the people you repel/neglect/hurt along the way won’t always be hanging around…eventually, it will be JUST you… and your friend, the bottle.
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