December 14, 2008 5:52 pm at 5:52 pm #588864
A topic that’s hardly being addressed at home, in school, and even in open forums.
My parents taught me, that eating silently – with a closed mouth – is not only simple manners, it’s derech eretz, and it does not irritate the people around you, versus eating with an open mouth, letting the non-pleasant melodies of the tongue hitting up and around ring out it’s ugly tones to the entire “audience”.. some people are eating so loud with such geshmak and weird noises, that it can aggravate the most calm and passionate person.
looking around and observing for years, I learned that most people are aware of how to eat in a nice manner, and keep their tone closed in to themselves. however, there are many people who would just spoil a table at a wedding, mesiba or at dinner by eating with a wide open mouth, letting everyone know of their activity…
I’m interested to hear the public opinion, am I too over mannered, and expecting something out of the ordinary, or is this the normal way to eat with all kinds of sounds and strange noises?December 14, 2008 6:35 pm at 6:35 pm #627902
May this be the absolutely WORST problem facing Klal Yisroel today!!!! Not to minimize what you said, though, because poor table manners are really disgusting. I did not follow through on a shidduch for a friend, because when I chanced to observe the young man, his manners were worse than atrocious, and I knew the girl would be offended to be set up with him, as she is very eidel. And how do you tell someone something like that, without hurting his feelings? It took him all his life to learn to eat like a bulvan. Either he has no idea of how he looks to other people, or he does not care. Either way, it is a VERY touchy problem. But it is also disgusting to hear loud smacking noises, and/or see food being chewed in an open mouth.December 14, 2008 7:06 pm at 7:06 pm #627903
The Big OneParticipant
loyalyid, you are 100% correct.December 14, 2008 7:31 pm at 7:31 pm #627904
It really drives me nuts (But I don’t know if I can be described as the most calm…)December 14, 2008 9:28 pm at 9:28 pm #627905
Loyalyid, you are absolutely not “too over mannered”; eating silently and with one’s mouth closed is polite courtesy and should not be de-emphasized. However, I agree with oomis- I would rejoice if we had nothing else to worry about but this!
Incidentally, did anyone else read the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle series as a child? One of those books has a very cute story addressing table manners. If I remember correctly, her method of correcting bad habits involved the assistance of a pet called Lester the pig. I used to love those books!December 14, 2008 10:38 pm at 10:38 pm #627906
If you mention it to any of these people, they say that that is the only way they can eat but I wonder if they ever bothered trying an other way.December 14, 2008 11:21 pm at 11:21 pm #627907
The book you are referring to is:
Title – Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle’s Magic
Author – Betty MacDonald
Story – The Bad-Table-Manners Cure
The entire set can be bought from Amazon.
If anyone is looking for kid’s book recommendations , I’d be glad to help (as long as the book existed 20+ years ago).
As best as I can remember, this series has nothing objectionable, except if you prefer not to have any secular books in your house at all.December 14, 2008 11:29 pm at 11:29 pm #627908
Actually this thread reminded me of that chapter too. I spend a lot of time reading aloud to my kids, and the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle series is one they enjoy hearing.December 15, 2008 12:05 am at 12:05 am #627909
When a person chews with their mouth open… well it drives me crazy!!!! i can’t handle the noises!!! very annoying!!
Does anyone have any suggestions that could I tell the person to chew with their mouth closed- politely?!?December 15, 2008 12:05 am at 12:05 am #627910
What children’s books would you recommend?December 15, 2008 12:36 am at 12:36 am #627911
anon for this-
What ages and interests?
(Approximation is fine. If you prefer not to answer the “ages” part, I’ll base my recommendations areound the “Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle” level).December 15, 2008 12:59 am at 12:59 am #627912
I suppose I’d prefer books for the “read-aloud” ages, that is the age ranges of my kids who like to hear books read aloud. That would be ages 5-10 for us. Would you prefer to start a new thread for the reply, or to post it in the random questions thread, to end the hijack of loyalyid’s thread?December 15, 2008 1:01 am at 1:01 am #627913
start a new thread for this.December 15, 2008 1:06 am at 1:06 am #627914
New thread it is.
My appologies for the thread hijack.December 15, 2008 6:38 am at 6:38 am #627915
No one answered so i’ll ask again:
Is there a way that could I tell a person to chew with their mouth closed- politely?!?December 15, 2008 2:55 pm at 2:55 pm #627916
Depends who. Your mother in law? Not a chance. Your Brother? Shut your mouth please.
Gotta specify who???December 15, 2008 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm #627917
I agree, it really depends on the eprson. If it is your child or a relative in your peer group or even a close friend, you have different options. If it is someone with whom you need to watch your Ps and Qs, like a parent, an in-law, date, then you need to be more subtle or be mevateir altogether. If I were in a restaurant with someone doing that, I might make some kind of comment like an, “Oh my goodness,” and when the person asked me what elicited that comment, I would say, ” I couldn’t help but just notice that couple over there near us. He was chewing with his mouth open. That’s just so gross! I really appreciate people with good table manners!” Hopefully, that would encourage the person to live up to your expectations. At least, you have given subtle mussar without directing it specifically at him (or her).December 15, 2008 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #627919
I echo the sentiment. This should be the biggest problem facing yidden today.December 15, 2008 7:16 pm at 7:16 pm #627920
(But you really shouldn’t say that to your brother…)December 15, 2008 7:22 pm at 7:22 pm #627921
Yea all guys that are in the dating parsha out there! Listen up! No girl is gona be able to listen to a word you say if your gona chew out loud!December 15, 2008 7:30 pm at 7:30 pm #627922
I sit at a cubicle surrounded by incessant loud chewers it makes me crazy. I get that I’m sensitive to it but it’s exceedingly rude and distracting.December 15, 2008 7:33 pm at 7:33 pm #627923
oomis – tacky. i would never say something like that. you just don’t look and make sure to NEVER eat out with that person again!December 15, 2008 8:10 pm at 8:10 pm #627924
“oomis – tacky. i would never say something like that. you just don’t look and make sure to NEVER eat out with that person again! “
And here I thought I was being sensitive to the idea of subtly making the other person conscious of his own eating habits, without actually calling attention to his poor manners. And what if that person is someone with whom you WANT to go out again, and the manners are the only problem? BTW, for your information, my method is not only NOT tacky, it is the recommended practice for getting an unpleasant point across to someone whose feelings are important to you. By making a personal comment but directing it impersonally to someone else, usually hamyvin yavin. When someone in your office has bad body odor, do you tell them and risk embarrassing them, or do you talk about a variety of things, like your recent shopping excursion and mention a few bargains that you found INCLUDING a really nice smelling deodorant that you see really works so well for you. You hope the person will take the hint, but keep his/her dignity intact. In any case, not all people are in a position to “not look” at the person with whom they are dining.December 15, 2008 8:25 pm at 8:25 pm #627925
lol ok, ok. i guess you’re right. i’m just a mefuneket.December 15, 2008 11:51 pm at 11:51 pm #627926
There is an element of the practice being a health danger. Many people who chew with open mouths also talk while chewing. This forces the airways in the throat to be open and allows for the possibility of food “going down the wrong pipe ” and choking. Heimlich Maneuver , anyone?December 16, 2008 12:04 am at 12:04 am #627927
yeah we were trained in high school. totally forgot most of CPR but i’m sure i would be able to do the heimlich maneuver if i needed to.December 16, 2008 1:54 am at 1:54 am #627928
lesschumras- I am glad you brought up the topic of chewing health. There is a basic principle regarding chewing while eating. When chewing a bite full masticate each bite full at least 10-15 times so that food goes through in saliva form. This will make digestion easier for the chewer, and less stress full for their digestive tract.December 16, 2008 3:56 pm at 3:56 pm #627929
Yankdownunder, u a nutritionist? how dyu know all this stuff?December 17, 2008 1:40 am at 1:40 am #627930
Myshadow-I am not a nutritionist, although one point of my life I thought of becoming a Naturapath. I have been interested in Natural Diet,health, and hygiene for over 40 years. One of the levels of this discipline is chewing thoroughly( at least 10-15times per bite full), so each mouthful is in saliva form, thus creating less stress for the Digestive Tract. When I read lesschumras post I knew the subject matter was about choking RL. Chewing each bite full (at least 10-15 times), is a very simple thing we all can do. Everybody can benefit eating by chewing thoroughly. This must be suggested tactfully and kindly to anyone who eats with their mouth open. The main thing is not to be disgusted (by their eating habits) but only caring, and supportive.December 17, 2008 3:12 pm at 3:12 pm #627931
yank: I hear you. I also heard that the best diet is to just chew everything really thoroughly, like you say around 10-15 times per bite. Is that true? Would someone lose weight by doing that?December 17, 2008 3:45 pm at 3:45 pm #627932
Anyone here in Hatzolo besides for me??? (yes i do work for the FBI but my name aint WILL HILL)December 17, 2008 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #627933
I would like to add my 2 cents worth regarding things that gross me out. People who lick money, or pages of books or bags in a supermarket. There are very effective ways to manipulate all these items without licking them.December 17, 2008 7:06 pm at 7:06 pm #627934
pashuteh, they lick they’re fingers not the actual item that would be gross!December 17, 2008 7:21 pm at 7:21 pm #627935
ugh that is disgusting. i remember a teacher that couldn’t give out papers without licking her fingers first. i always took the bottom one – praying that by the time she touched the last one it wore off…December 17, 2008 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm #627936
brooklyn19- you’re Swiss? Just kidding 😉December 17, 2008 11:22 pm at 11:22 pm #627937
yeah right!December 17, 2008 11:26 pm at 11:26 pm #627938
My Shadow- It is true you can actually lose weight by chewing thoroughly. It takes a lot of energy to masticate so many times per bite full. The theory is one gets tired from the sheer amount of energy and discipline it takes that you leave from your plate eating less.December 18, 2008 2:44 am at 2:44 am #627939
Iv’e heard of chewing until the food is apple sauce consistence- is that part of the ramban’s (or rambam’s??) diet??December 18, 2008 3:28 am at 3:28 am #627940
The theory is also that when one chews many times per bite, that it gives the brain a chance to signal to the body that it is full, hence we eat less.December 18, 2008 5:42 am at 5:42 am #627941
Xerox-Probably the Rambam, because Rav. Moshe ben Maimon was the personal physician to the Sultan. He knew all kinds of healthful ideas such as drinking before or after a meal, but not during one. Also waiting several hours after eating to go to sleep. This is to let the food in the stomach have a chance to start being digested. He was a Master Herbalist who could identify and use plants to make Medicine to heal his patients.
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