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    “Go compare a bakery, which we need for daily living, to Facebook- something we don’t need but only want.”

    So maybe a man should always send his wife to the bakery instead of going himself. Or maybe all bread and baked goods should be made from scratch.

    “Since these stories generally do not occur in bakeries, it is considered ok to enter a bakery.”

    But you can never have too many fences, right?

    (In case it’s not clear: I’m playing devil’s advocate, not making serious suggestions.)


    FEMINIST- I dont get what you are trying to convey.


    SJSIN- something is Assur only if the Torah or your Rabbi says so.I never asked about Facebook, so I dont know if its Assur or not.

    But not everything that’s not Assur is RIGHT!!! Maybe you wont go to Gehinom for it, but it definitely doesnt bring a person closer to Gan Eden either. That’s the point.

    Not everything that is allowed- is allowed for EVERYONE. Go a bit out of your way to guard yourself from Aveiros. Thats it. Use your common sense please and dont come giving me examples now of things we have to refrain from and we all do it. Everyone should use their own judgement.

    Each to their own.


    smartcookie, there is almost nothing in your last post I disagree with 🙂

    OK, I said almost. Actually, you dont know what brings me closer to Hashem. Or what influence I have. Maybe posting pictures of me lighting Chanukah candles will inspire my irreligious cousin to. Maybe that will spark him to start learning more about Judaism and bring him to a path of Torah.

    The point most of us facebook users (or supporters even if they dont use it) is just that if you have a problem with facebook dont use it, but not everyone has that same problem so dont force your problem on us. Dont say ASSUR just because you cant handle it. You know if you can or cannot and YOU decide. I think in this case the alcoholic analogy fits VERY well.

    I respect the people who know they have the problem and can stand up to themselves and say “no more facebook.”


    I am trying to convey that the bakery example is really not so different than the Facebook example. Yet the bakery example is laughed at while the Facebook example is taken seriously. Why is that?

    There are many “kosher groups” on Facebook which do give a person the opportunity to come “closer to Gan Eden.” I have seen groups entitled “please say tehillim for so-and-so”. There is also a group called “Debating Judaism” which is essentially exactly like this Coffee Room, but with a greater variety of opinions represented.


    If anyone feels that Facebook will bring good to themselves or others, go ahead- that’s if you are one hundred percent sure. Do whatever you want, but make sure you dont become Nichshul in this Nesayin.

    YW Moderator-42

    from the main page last week:


    NJ Public School Principal Asks Parents To Ban Social Networking

    April 28, 2010

    The following article is from WCBSTV:

    A controversial proposal has students horrified at a Bergen County middle school on Wednesday. The principal is asking parents to join a voluntary ban on social networking.

    Anthony Orsini, the principal at Benjamin Franklin Middle School in Ridgewood, sent out an e-mail Wednesday morning asking parents to help him get all of his students off social networks and keep careful track of their text messages.

    Since the e-mail has gone out, the principal said the reaction has been generally positive. But the truth will come when individual negotiations take place between parent and child to get them off Facebook.

    Dear BF Community,

    In 2010 social networking sites have now become commonplace, and technology use by students is beyond prevalent.

    It is time for every single member of the BF Community to take a stand!

    There is absolutely no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site!

    5 of the last 8 parents who we have informed that their child was posting inappropriate things on Facebook said their child did not have an account. Every single one of the students had an account.

    3 Students yesterday told a guidance counselor that their parents told them to close their accounts when the parents learned they had an account. All three students told their parents it was closed. All three students still had an account after telling their parents it was closed.

    Most students are part of more than one social networking site.

    Please do the following: sit down with your child (and they are just children still) and tell them that they are not allowed to be a member of any social networking site. Today!

    Let them know that you will at some point every week be checking their text messages online! You have the ability to do this through your cell phone provider.

    Over 90% of all homework does not require the internet, or even a computer. Do not allow them to have a computer in their room, there is no need.

    We as a school can offer guidance and try to build up any student who has been injured by the social networking scourge, but please insist the authorities get involved.

    The threat to your son or daughter from online adult predators is insignificant compared to the damage that children at this age constantly and repeatedly do to one another through social networking sites or through text and picture messaging.

    I will be more than happy to take the blame off you as a parent if it is too difficult to have the students close their accounts, but it is time they all get closed and the texts always get checked.

    Some people advocate that the parents and the school should teach responsible social networking to students because these sites are part of the world in which we live.

    I disagree, it is not worth the risk to your child to allow them the independence at this age to manage these sites on their own, not because they are not good kids or responsible, but because you cannot control the poor actions of anonymous others.

    Please take action in your on home today.


    Anthony Orsini

    Principal, BFMS

    (Source: WCBSTV)


    Thanks Mod.

    Kal V’chomer how the mssge applies to us heilig yiddish kinder.

    jewish girl

    why can tanyone understand the risks of facebook its like going into a bar now you tell me you wont take a drink you have the option to connect with a ton of ppl wats gonna hold you back? dont fool yourself and say tht im only going on to socialize with my freinds why does something bad have to happen till ppl realize something shouldnt be done??

    YW Moderator-42



    Mod-42. Are you trying to drive us to your facebook page? 🙂


    I, too, was wondering why these threads were bumped with no current events or personal anecdotes to warrant bumping an old topic.

    The Wolf

    YW Moderator-42

    Someone tried to start a new topic about this so I bumped up the old one.


    Listen to R Zechariah Wallerstein’s Shiurim for about 6 months and tell me Facebook is still great… He said that at least 1/4 of the divorces he deals with are because Facebook. Either adultry with someone on their or getting close to it….(Frum people)

    People would come to him and say “but there are Rabbis and D’var Torah’s on it. So responded asking the person if their was a dirty magazine within it their was a D’var Torah would you keep it in your house???

    Answer that question and there’s you answer about Facebook.


    i never heard of facebook till a few months ago. and from what i hear it’s TERRIBEL. nice to communicate with friends but people post their entire lives on it, no privacy and also it can be unsafe if you say info like ‘im going out of town” poeple can hack in and …


    Facebook is a terrible thing!!!! Do you know how many men are on there and befriending ladies?? It is absolutely scary to think about what this world is coming to!!! Forget about the Tznius, the pictures posted are horrifying!!!! There are over 5,000 Jewish Couples on there…What good does it do?


    As mentioned previously, it’s a form of communication. Personally, I find it to be a great way to keep in touch with friends. Granted, people post things that they probably shouldn’t. However, a responsible person sets up boundries and uses it for good intentions.


    As always the key to technology (or to any other tool, for that matter) is to use it wisely.

    Most of us are capable of using Facebook wisely. I use it to keep in touch with relatives and friends whom I might not otherwise have time to keep in touch with. It provides a way for me to quick update friends/family on new events in our lives. It’s a good, quick way to distribute pictures of the kids and family to those whom we want to send them.

    Are there people who use FB irresponsibly? Sure. But there is no reason that those of us who do use it responsibly should be banned from it because some people can’t handle it properly.

    In short, the answer is not banning, but education.

    The Wolf


    Whenever someone I know becomes a Facebook friend, I send them a link to an article that is available (just Google it) called “5 Easy Steps to Stay Safe (and Private!) on Facebook” (I know the mods will not let this through with a link in it). It’s absolute must reading for everyone, adults, teens etc.

    One of the most overlooked features of FB is privacy settings. What I’ve done is create lists of friends by categories such as people from my kehillah, other friends, relatives, work associates, etc. Then you can use those lists as easy ways to filter what you post. For instance, perhaps I don’t want my work associates to see my pictures. So they’re in an album filtered to either allow or block specific group(s). Or, on the otherhand, if it’s very generic, you can omit filters. It’s worth spending the time to review the settings. The idea being that FB should allow you to share stuff with people, but allow you the ability to limit how much and with whom you want to share anything. That doesn’t only mean pictures, but virtually anything about you that you post, be it education, work history, status updates, etc. You can also utilize the privacy setting to set how people can locate you. For example, if they know your email address, can they find you via a search?

    Bottom line is use common sense. You wouldn’t tell a casual acquaintance something very personal, would you? The same applies here. And don’t accept a friend request unless you know who the person is! Just like you don’t let strangers into your home.



    Can you allow the link that A Woman outside bklyn is talking about? I think it would benefit several people here.


    on that web page they recommend this link as being more comprehensive:



    Thanks. I appreciate it.


    “In short, the answer is not banning, but education.”

    And who do you think youare to disagree with R. Wallerstein?

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