October 21, 2010 5:07 pm at 5:07 pm #592727diduMember
Officially, gerrer chasidim have different rules when they are married compared to others! Is that true? Is it from the rebbe or somewhere in the torah?October 21, 2010 5:18 pm at 5:18 pm #704728
The Rebbe is a godol b’yisroel and takes his direction from the Torah. So your question is redundant.October 21, 2010 5:49 pm at 5:49 pm #704730WIYMember
Chassidim have their own minhagim and stringencies. Each sect has its own special minhagim and garb as well as hanhagos. You will not find any of it in the Torah. They all are initiated by the Rebbes.October 21, 2010 6:05 pm at 6:05 pm #704732
Oh, and I meant to post this joke, with regards to ger:
Chaim: R’ Dovid.. whats this I hear, you were seen talking to your wife yesterday in the supermarket??
Dovid: Don’t be silly, Chaim.. that was NOT my wife!October 21, 2010 6:12 pm at 6:12 pm #704733
“gerrer chasidim rules dring marriage?”
you looking to marry a gerrer chassid? you looking to become a gerrer chassid? why does it matter what gerrer chassidim do?October 21, 2010 6:19 pm at 6:19 pm #704737
Gerrer chasidim are makpid on tznius.October 21, 2010 6:24 pm at 6:24 pm #704738WolfishMusingsParticipant
Gerrer chasidim are makpid on tznius.
I don’t understand. And other chassidim/chareidim aren’t?
The WolfOctober 21, 2010 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #704739
Yes, Gerrer Chasiddim have certain Chumrois before and specifically after marriage. And yes, it comes from the Rebbes!October 21, 2010 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #704740
WIY thank you so much for a very correct comment. All those alleged sringent rules that Ger has during marriage, Skver and Belz and Viznitz et al, have the same rules. For all of you who think Ger discriminates against women, go to New Square and you’ll see what real discrimination means. Ger in Israel do not have those rules. Gerrer don’t talk to women in the street? That’s not a Gerrer rule, the majority of chasidim don’t talk to women in the strret. By the way, that happens to be a clear mishna in Pirkei Ovos. Officially as Didu states, Gerrer rules are pretty much normal rules of the majority of chasidim. By majority I mean the chasidim who walk in the path of pre-WW2 European life. Sure you’ll find dozens of “chasidic” garbed couples acting very much out of ruling. But the official stance of whatever sect they belong to does not sanction their behavior at all. Pick any sect. Satmar, Belz, Pupa, Viznitz, to name some Hungarian sects. Non sanction open mixing of couples in the street. Their rules in all aspects of married life are just about the same as the “official” rules of Ger. We have a huge problen in Ger. It’s called lousy PR. We are so elitist that we couldn’t care less what the world says about us. And the world kind of doesn’t like Ger. Partly because of our elitist attitude, partly from jealousy because Ger is an Israeli political powerhouse. There are many websites that demean Ger constantly. Being quite literate, I have often written comments defending Ger vociferously, only to find that the editors wouldn’t publish my defensive comments, themselves being virulently anti-Ger. Walk in Boro Park and you’ll see hundreds of men not walking directly with their wives, very obviously not Gerrer. And you’ll see dozens of Gerrer walking with their wives. Try a little v’ohavtem es ha-Ger.October 21, 2010 6:34 pm at 6:34 pm #704741
Pretty good joke, the one part that you got wrong is the “R'” part, Gerrer Chassidim don’t call each other by the title of R’,October 21, 2010 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #704742smartcookieMember
Gerrer chasidim are makpid on tznius.
And so does every other torah jew.(hopefully).October 21, 2010 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #704743
“Gerrer chasidim are makpid on tznius.”
to the exclusion of everyone not a gerrer chassid? I think you meant to write, this is the method chosen by the gerrer rebbe (shlita? z’l? no idea which rebbe implemented these “rules”) chassidim to strengthen the inyan of tznius amongst themselves.October 21, 2010 6:52 pm at 6:52 pm #704744Mayan_DvashParticipant
How come in certain shuls, they have no problem “mixing” during a kiddush, but mishebeirach for cholim are strictly separate?
I can tell you that in the few gerrer shtiblach that I’ve davened in they make one mishebeirach for all cholim, men and women?
;October 21, 2010 8:15 pm at 8:15 pm #704746
Gerrer Chassidim don’t call each other by the title of R’,
Really? I did not know that. So does a 35 year old chossid call a 55 year old by first name, with no title at all?
And what was meant by “tznius rules” is the Gerrer (and Toldos as well) have takonos that go way beyond the standard rules of tznius. And I do mean WAY beyond (and not something that can be discussed in the CR)October 21, 2010 8:36 pm at 8:36 pm #704747
The Prof1 –
You say that “We in Ger” as if you’re a Gerrer Chassid, Well based on what you say later you sure ain’t one.
Ger has like BP Totty says Chumros that go way beyond Tznius.
And like he said it don’t belong on this forumOctober 21, 2010 8:36 pm at 8:36 pm #704748arcParticipant
BP Totty. YES!October 21, 2010 8:36 pm at 8:36 pm #704749sof davar hakol nishmaMember
bp totty, it’s very different. Gerr is VERy makpid and have MANY chumros when it comes to halachos between the married couple.
In general, all of the chassideshe rebbes stressed tznius. Toldos Aaron/Toldos Avrohom Yiztchok is very makpid with tznius. I don’t think they are as makpid as gerr with halachos between husband and wife.October 21, 2010 10:19 pm at 10:19 pm #704752October 21, 2010 10:32 pm at 10:32 pm #704753
Apy – Perhaps that’s a good idea. It would be beutiful to follow their wonderful ideas.
Yasher Koach!October 21, 2010 10:46 pm at 10:46 pm #704754NatMember
Yes it is true – Gerrer chasidim are bashed by Livishe, other Chasidim, and even some Gerrer Chassidim. Proves they must be doing something right.
All those “stringencies” that are referred too above, are all based on either halacha, found in Pirkei d”rab Eliezer, or other chasidishe seforim. None were made up by the Gerrer Rebbes Z”L.
And those “stringencies” are not for public consumption – they are taght to yungerleit that are considered worthy and yirei shomayaim to perform these “stringencies”. Not all are at that madreiga.
Our generation today is so removed and so deep in olam haza (whether they are aware of it – which makes it worse – or not) that anyone accepting upon themselves chumros, are considered weird.
Sorry – but if the hat fits, and you wear it – then wear it proudly. regardless of what people say. V’al yeivush mipnei hamaligim.
Funny though that most of those that make fun, and crack stupid jokes, ending up running to Ger when in need of a yeshua.
And I agree with previous posters – this is not an issue to write about in YW, nor anywhere else. Actually, the Chofetz Chaim doesn’t allow these discussions anywhere at all.October 21, 2010 11:52 pm at 11:52 pm #704755so rightMember
the gerrer chasidim practice marital interactions and tznius so beautifully. i strongly believe it is well worth emulating for all of us up to it, at that madreiga.October 22, 2010 1:40 am at 1:40 am #704757wanderingchanaParticipant
“v’ohavtem es ha-Ger” – for you too were once strangers in the land of Boro ParkOctober 22, 2010 1:46 am at 1:46 am #704758myfriendMember
B”H, the Gerrer Rebbe — a member of the Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah — has implemented these takanos and minhagei yisroel, that work so well in the community.October 22, 2010 7:48 pm at 7:48 pm #704760
mdd – Its working for an entire Yiddishe community.October 24, 2010 3:34 am at 3:34 am #704763mddMember
The letter is from the Steipler gaon.
Ben Torah, just because nobody complained to you, it does not mean that everything is fine.October 24, 2010 3:35 am at 3:35 am #704764mw13Participant
Really, why does it bother some people so much that others are makpid on thenselves beyond what is required by halacha? What could possibly be wrong with that?
anonymisss: I wouldn’t be surprised if there was. However, that doesn’t mean we should treat those who are more makpid than us with any less respect.October 24, 2010 4:12 am at 4:12 am #704765Darchei NoamMember
The only rule Ger has that isn’t universal, is their extra chumra of keeping the genders apart in public (including spouses). But even that isn’t unique to only Ger.October 24, 2010 2:23 pm at 2:23 pm #704767
You are mistaken. The Steipler’s letter, although it is related to this issue, has NOTHING to do with Ger nor does it mention or address Ger. (And there is no letter from the Steipler discussing Ger on this issue. That is the only letter, despite the drivel posted on some blogs trying to tie that letter into Ger.)October 24, 2010 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #704768
Helpful. I was not advocating anything. I was making the point that why does it bother anyone what Gerrer Chassidim do? Who cares? If you are not a Gerrer Chassid it shouldnt matter one way or another and if you are a Gerrer Chassis it is something you should take up with your Rebbe, Mashgiach, Morah, Madricha, father, mother or whoever it is that you turn to to discuss things.October 24, 2010 8:23 pm at 8:23 pm #704772MoqMember
Poor Stiepler. I’ve heard and read so many different spins on “what he really” and ‘whom he was talking to”…oy, Yiftach B’Doro K’Shmuel B’Doro…there is no acception for live, breathing Gedoley Olam to say “no, really, that’s what I meant. Really.”
Listen, dargas dargas. What’s good for the Gerrer Goose is Good for the Gerrer Gander..October 24, 2010 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #704773ramateshkolianMember
having never met a gerer chassid in my life, what are these rules you speak of? I am very curious. A teacher of mine once said what a tragedy it is that some of us can relate better to goyim that to some people who are frum/chassidish….so true!October 24, 2010 11:23 pm at 11:23 pm #704775nmelssMember
There are no rules other than some over imaginative sci-fi bloggerstan fiction conjured up about holes in sheets and whatever other stuff from the novels that might have influenced whichever nincompoop at the moment he was looking to stick it to some unliked group.October 25, 2010 10:26 am at 10:26 am #704777Be HappyParticipant
Good Luck to Gerrer Chassidim. Among Chassidim they definitely have the most Torah learning. They do have weird minhogim that any outsider would find hard to follow. Most Gerrer chasiddim marry into gerrer families whereas other chasiddim can and will “intermarry”October 25, 2010 1:30 pm at 1:30 pm #704778
Be Happy – Weird minhagim? I’m a Gerrer all my life, my father and grandfather too. I really can’t think of any weird minhagim that we have. Unless the very dangerous minhag of a special kesher in the palm made with the tefilin shel yad that I know nobody else makes. That can really turn off people from yiddishkeit. And of course there’s the extremely well known weird minhag of learning an hour shabbos morning between shachris and leining. Now that minhag is truly terrible. Oh yes and of course everybody knows that ger hardly davens on rosh hashono and yom kippur. So Be Happy, any other weird stuff we do? Unless you’re talking about the “minhagim” that the Rambam brings as halocho and Shulchan Orech too and many many other sifrei kodesh.October 25, 2010 3:00 pm at 3:00 pm #704780anonymisssParticipant
theprof, I assume you’re not married.
~a~October 25, 2010 3:15 pm at 3:15 pm #704781
IIRC theprof1 has on previous indication indicated he is very much married.October 25, 2010 4:41 pm at 4:41 pm #704785
Its to bad there is no segula associated with ahavas yisroel.October 25, 2010 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #704789
Or respecting other people.October 25, 2010 8:27 pm at 8:27 pm #704790
Seeker I think you must be mixing up the Hungarians with Gerrer women. The vast majority of Gerrer women do not wear long sheitels. The majority do not wear 4 inch high heels, in fact I don’t think any do. Almost all the young women, under 30, are teachers in various schools. The general Gerrer female population do not work in office atmospheres but rather in yeshivos and Bais Yakovs teaching or in the school office, a much better atmosphere than business offices. I haven’t seen a single negative comment here that even comes close to being factual. It’s very easy to make up canards regarding anybody. Try to back it up with facts, you won’t be able to. If Gerrer women were really unhappy, why are Gerrer bochurim not having any problems getting married? Why are almost every girls’ class in the Gerrer Bais Yakov engaged within 2 years? There are over 600 Gerrer families. I challenge you to find 5 women who aren’t dressed according to ultra-orthodox criteria of tzinius.October 25, 2010 9:32 pm at 9:32 pm #704792
Is this pick on Gerrer Chassidim month? I dont get it.October 25, 2010 9:42 pm at 9:42 pm #704793
special kesher in the palm made with the tefilin shel yad that I know nobody else makes.
I’m not Ger, so I’m not sure what you mean (but I will follow up with my Gerrer friend).
As it happens, I make an additional kesher in the palm of my hand with the retzuos. Long story how I started doing so, but the clincher was what the rebbe said ” ah yid darf a extra kesher mit’n Riboinoi Shel Oilom”October 25, 2010 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #704794
And Chosson, you were right. The title “R” is not used in Ger.
My friend told me its largly avoided becuase the shteebl he davens in is mostly people in his age bracket, but when it come to it, younger people will call older people by first name if need be.October 29, 2010 4:21 am at 4:21 am #704796
Wake up and smell the coffeOctober 29, 2010 1:19 pm at 1:19 pm #704797
Its knock Gerrer week all the time. I’m constantly subjected to this anti-semitic sinaas chinom from all sides. My family, this includes my brothers and their kids, have no problem being Gerrer chasidim. And my Gerrer coffee smells just fine thank you. These various virulently hateful canards have been spread all over for years. We are all used to it. Most Gerrer basically laugh at it all and ignore it all. The majority of Gerrer are strong talmidei chachomim and this alone irks most yeshivish terribly. And we don’t help ourselves by being elitist but hey we are so too bad. In Israel we’re hated because we have political clout. Too bad. So go right on and spew your hatred. Make up some good stories. Everybody will believe you because everybody wants to believe you. Our shtiebels are well known for no talking during davening. Our shtiebels resound with the sound of Torah. Our bochurim and girls don’t hang out anywhere and are reknowned as BH holy children. And again, laugh and make up whatever myths you want.October 29, 2010 1:41 pm at 1:41 pm #704798
“thinking” jew. Let’s see, “most” other gedolim. Belz? Skver? Viznitz? Satmar? Alexander? Modzitz? Umm I think that takes care of 95% of chasidic world. And these “minority” gedolim also say irrelevant things like a choson/kallah shouldn’t meet almost daily and go all over the place. Hardly conducive to proper kedusha. Fairly normal in the world of your “most” gedolim yeshivos. Oh well, what can I say? I guess I just don’t smell the coffee.October 29, 2010 2:38 pm at 2:38 pm #704799mddMember
Theprof1. nobody was talking about chosson and kalla meeting. People were talking about the after marriage. I think this is what “the thinking Jew” was referring to when he mentioned the other Gedolim.October 29, 2010 2:52 pm at 2:52 pm #704800
Absolutely. If the “other” gedolim don’t care about what choson/kallah do before marriage, how much more likely are they to say anything goes and to be meikal after marriage. And since these normally “machmir” gedolim feel kind of guilty since the vast majority of chasidim are not meikal in inyonei kedusha, they frown on the irrelevant chumras of Ger, chumras that are brought out by many rishonim and achronim poskim. And where a posek seems to be meikal, he then says that machmirim tovoh aleihem brocho. Very easy to make fun of essential chumros of kedusha. You don’t want to be kodosh, no problem. But why make fun of those who do? And make up myths and lies.October 29, 2010 3:13 pm at 3:13 pm #704802
Thank you for your kind words but excuse me sir. Exactly where did I make up facts? That our men are talmidei chachomim? That Gerrer girls generally don’t work in commercial offices? Why don’t you call up the Gerrer high school office and ask where last year’s graduating class is. My daughter’s BY Seminary class has 7 Gerrer girls. Several girls went to Israel. Several are married or will be soon.October 29, 2010 3:22 pm at 3:22 pm #704803WolfishMusingsParticipant
People were talking about the after marriage.
Really, now, does it matter?
What a Gerrer couple (or any other couple, for that matter) do behind closed doors is really no one’s business but their own. If they choose to follow their Rebbe’s dictates regarding how and when and so forth, so what? Why is that such a big deal to everyone else?
Unless you yourself (or your close relative) is contemplating marrying a Gerrer chassid AND is intent on keeping those rules, then I don’t see how this is a problem for anyone else.
The WolfOctober 29, 2010 4:05 pm at 4:05 pm #704805SacrilegeMember
I really dont understand the point of this senseless sinas chinam.
Why is there even a discussion, what good can come out of this?
*I’m going to put my brain on self clean now*
- The topic ‘gerrer chasidim rules dring marriage?’ is closed to new replies.