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I think this is the most well accepted false canard in history.
What is so shocking, is that even men accept it as fact, because it is told to them so confidently, and with such simple evidence like that girls date at 19 while boys date at 23. Nobody even stops to consider whether it is true at all, or any contrary evidence, like chassidim where the boys get married at 18.
The falsehood is grounded in the fact that it uses women’s perceptions of boys and girls. See, boys and girls are different, and have different character traits which develop as they mature. But when boys do not develop those character traits that girls do, the women call that immature.
It’s not immature! It’s being a boy!
You could look at it from a mens’ perspective and call the girls immature if you wanted to also. For example, I have met middle aged women who are still afraid to drive on the highway, and are still afraid to kill a bug, and can’t buy a pair of socks without asking a second opinion. You call that mature? Sounds like they are still 16.
So why don’t men do that? Why don’t we call women immature? Because we are too intelligent to mistake normal gender differences for maturity. See also here: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/why-are-men-more-intelligent-than-women
PBA -“What is so shocking, is that even men accept it as fact, because it is told to them so confidently, and with such simple evidence like that girls date at 19 while boys date at 23. Nobody even stops to consider whether it is true at all, or any contrary evidence, like chassidim where the boys get married at 18.”
I believe that this is true more often than not.
Our generation in general has trouble becoming mature -boys and girls.
But I think that girls 18 -25 are more mature than boys the same age in the Frum world. The reason being a girl this age usually has mature responsibilities, eg. work, but a guy in Yeshiva doesn’t have any mature responsibilities. He does the same thing that he’s been doing since he started school as a little kid.
Of course they are. That’s why in Jewish law, and almost everyone else’s law, they get rights earlier. In virtually every society they marry earlier. A girl has to be be ready for motherhood much earlier than a boy needs to be ready for fatherhood. Remember that the average man is substantially older than his bride. If girls weren’t more mature, it would go very badly for the babies, and the culture (or species) with immature mommies would go extinct.
I think it is more accurate to say that women reach what can be described as their full maturity at an earlier age than men reach what can be described as theirs.
Bar mitzvah is at age 13. Bas mitzvah is at age 12. QED.
When chassidish boys marry at 18, aren’t the girls they marry usually like 16?
Women obtain “da’as” at 12, men at 13.
The fact that women mature faster than men is Halacha L’Moshe Mi’Sinai.
Amen, brother… amen
DaasYochid -“Women obtain “da’as” at 12, men at 13.
The fact that women mature faster than men is Halacha L’Moshe Mi’Sinai.”
Daas has nothing to do with maturity. If it did – there would be no Machlokes in the Gemorah when does a girl and boy become Mechuyav in Mitzvos. One Shitta holds -boys at 12 & girls at 13.
Agree with Health. Maturity is something that comes with assuming responsibilities. Whatever part of it that is innate is IMO not subject to gender distinction.
@PBA
It could just be that boys like marrying girls younger then themselves and girls feel more attracted to an older more mature husband. Dating at 19 doesn’t prove a higher maturity level in females. Even in marriages where both spouses are already half-way through their life, the man is usually older. Also, it could just be that parents feel more urged to marry off a daughter as fast as possible due to the unfortunate outcome if they are unsuccessful.
More mature in certain ways. Less in others.
-Women obtain “da’as” at 12, men at 13.
The fact that women mature faster than men is Halacha L’Moshe Mi’Sinai.-
You speak about maturity as if it’s a one time event rather than a continuum. Girls mature sooner because the level they achieve is lower. It takes longer to bake a roast than toast.
See Maharal, Gur Aryeh, Parshas Tazriah. He says males mature later because they have a higher sheilamus.
Even though this a two year old thread words of wisdom don’t age.
Age of marriage hardly proves maturity levels. f it did, the divorce rate would be much lower.
It’s an individual thing. I agree with the people who said that responsibility leads to maturity faster.
There’s way too much male bashing in this community. It’s strange that so many people look at OJ as being misogynistic when we are more often the opposite.
I’ll say again what I find myself having to repeat to frum people quite often. It depends on the person. There are females who are more mature and there are males who are more mature. Same with spirituality.
Maturity is a myth.
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