Giving women car rides

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  • #1171437

    Sparkly
    Member

    jewish feminist – i want smart children.

    abba – some start college right away so theyll be doctors by 26.

    #1171438

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    sparkly, you still didn’t answer. Are you from Bronx?

    #1171439

    Mammele
    Participant

    SL: I don’t think it’s fair to pressure her where’s she’s from, especially since there’s only one likley neighborhood in the Bronx that you have in mind — regardless of your reason.

    #1171440

    Sparkly
    Member

    syag lchochma – i already said im not from new york and where is bronx? its in new york so no.

    #1171441

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    Mammele, I appreciate your concern for her privacy (?) but:

    1) I wasn’t asking her about the bronx.

    2) She seems quite capable of protecting herself and not answering questions she doesn’t want to answer

    #1171443

    Sparkly
    Member

    Syag Lchochma – their are MANY mo communities not in new york that i can live in any one of those.

    #1171444

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    I don’t even know where the bronx is, I don’t know what an “MO community” is and i surely didn’t know you lived in one.

    #1171445

    Sparkly
    Member

    Syag Lchochma – this was all stated in other posts. dont only come to this post and expect to know everything.

    #1171446

    TheGoq
    Participant

    The Borough of the Bronx is Directly north of Manhattan.

    #1171447

    Meno
    Participant

    Sparkly,

    What does being a doctor have to do with being smart? I know some guys who are in medical school, and they aren’t even that smart – especially when it comes to math.

    Also, by deciding you will only marry a doctor, you are severely limiting your options. You’re just making things very difficult for yourself.

    #1171448

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – they had 4.0 gpa and are in harvard?

    #1171449

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    sparkly why do you address people so rudely?

    #1171450

    Meno
    Participant

    Sparkly,

    So you will only marry someone with a 4.0 in Harvard Medical School? But it’s OK if he’s not Shomer Negiah?

    I think your priorities are seriously messed up.

    Good luck in life.

    #1171451

    Sparkly: But you said that you’re smart. So your children will (probably) be smart even if you marry a guy who is just as smart as you are, but not davka smarter.

    #1171452

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    The Bronx is where Yankee stadium is

    The only sizeable jewish community there is in Riverdale where Avi Weiss is, I suspect any comments about the Bronx were related to Avi Weiss

    #1171453

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – that was not nice to say that to me. also i think that your thinking about a guy who doesnt keep shomer, doesnt learn gemara and that kind of stuff, doesnt daven, doesnt go to shul, etc…. thats not the kind of guy im referring to. im referring to a guy who goes to shul, davens, doesnt keep shomer, learn gemara and that kind of stuff, etc…. so his still a frum guy just doesnt keep shomer.

    jewishfeminist02 – im not a 4.0 student but im smart enough to get into a good pharmacy school.

    #1171454

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly – “so his still a frum guy just doesnt keep shomer.”

    Sparkly, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but not being shomer negiah may fall in the category of “yahareg v’al yaavor” which makes it much worse than other aveiros, so it’s hard to call someone who is not shomer negiah Frum.

    #1171455

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    I think that Sparkly said in another thread that she is from Lakewood. But she has also that she is MO, and as far as I know there are no MO communities in Lakewood, so I was just assuming that she has a Rabbi who does not live in Lakewood. Or maybe she grew up in Lakewood but now lives elsewhere?

    #1171456

    Sparkly
    Member

    lilmod ulelamaid – im not saying where im from. it could be i use to live in lakewood now live elsewhere. not going to say. for privacy sorry. i know frum people who dont keep shomer.

    #1171457

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparly – you’re right for not saying where you are from.

    “i know frum people who dont keep shomer.”

    And I know Frum people who don’t keep Shabbos

    #1171458

    Sparkly
    Member

    lilmod ulelamaid – you cant be frum if you dont keep shabbos. the 2 things that make a person frum “keeping shabbos and kosher”. it says it in the Torah if anyone wants to bring the pasuk up.

    #1171459

    Meno
    Participant

    Sparkly,

    My point wasn’t that you shouldn’t marry someone who’s not shomer negiah.

    My point was that if you’re more makpid (particular) about your husband’s education level, field of study, and GPA than you are about his sh’miras Torah u’Mitzvos (i.e. you’re willing to compromise with regard to his sh’miras Torah u’Mitzvos but not with regard to his education, etc.), then I think you have your priorities backwards.

    P.s. I responded to you rudely because you responded to me rudely

    #1171460

    Little Froggie
    Participant

    some people are not shomer nekamah

    #1171461

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – when did i respond to you rudely?

    Little Froggie – like meno.

    #1171462

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly – “lilmod ulelamaid – you cant be frum if you dont keep shabbos. the 2 things that make a person frum “keeping shabbos and kosher”. it says it in the Torah if anyone wants to bring the pasuk up.”

    Interesting, I’ve been learning for many years and never came across such a Possuk!! Where exactly does it say that?!!!

    The word Frum is not used anywhere in the Torah, but it means someone who keeps the Torah. There are 613 Mitzvos in the Torah and nowhere in the Torah does it say that you only have to keep Shabbos and Kashrus!!!

    #1171463

    Sparkly
    Member

    lilmod ulelamaid – if you want me to tell you the pasuk i will h’h ask someone where it says that and post it on here. but its definitely written in the torah. if anyone else wants to bring up the pasuk im talking about please do so. Also i learn a lot more than you do since your a girl and most girls dont learn as much as i do. i learn a LOT for a girl.

    #1171464

    Lefty SoferStam
    Participant

    Sparkly-it’s quite funny to hear you darshen about people who are frum and don’t keep kosher. I know that “I learn a lot for a girl” but I believe that there is a gemara that says if one is doing an aveirah we suspect him for another one. But “of course” your opinion is valued more than that gemaras. So tell me what your definition of frum is.

    #1171465

    Sparkly
    Member

    Lefty SoferStam – when did i say this? if you dont keep kosher your not frum. the 2 things required to be frum are kosher and shabbos if you dont keep one of those 2 your automatically not frum.

    #1171466

    Lefty SoferStam
    Participant

    It’s strange then, that a frum Jew is required less than a goy. (the ??? ????? ??? ?? although someone as learned as you knows this).

    #1171467

    Sparkly
    Member

    Lefty SoferStam – goyim arent allowed to keep shabbos. so how are they required less than a goy?

    #1171468

    Lefty SoferStam
    Participant

    Well,according to you, they only have two things to do, they can do anything else, and they’re frum, they can even do the things that goyim can’t. The goyim have to keep 7 mitzvos and the Jews only have to keep two. And maybe you wanna bring down this passuk that says that.

    In other words this man dosn’t have to do 1-7 ????? ??? ?? but has to keep only 2 mitvos and he’s frum but a goy must keep these 7.

    #1171469

    Sparkly
    Member

    well also the basics. like believing in Hashem.

    #1171470

    Lefty SoferStam
    Participant

    Well thanks for saying that now, not like I agree with you, but that changes the whole picture. You should’ve said it in the 1st place

    #1171471

    showjoe
    Participant

    guys calm down please!

    it right before tisha b’av

    dont resort to name calling

    i always thought that being frum meant not being an apikourus, i.e. believing in the 13 ikrei emuna

    #1171472

    Sparkly
    Member

    Lefty SoferStam – do you consider someone frum if they dont keep shomer, wear pants but keep everything else?

    #1171473

    Meno
    Participant

    Why do you have to categorize them?

    (and btw I’m sorry I was rude before, I got a bit carried away)

    #1171474

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – curios what you consider frum.

    #1171475

    Meno
    Participant

    I define a frum person as: One who is genuinely interested in keeping Torah and Mitzvos and makes a significant legitimate effort to do so to the best of his or her ability.

    I would never say that a certain person is not frum because he or she does not follow a particular Mitzvah properly

    #1171476

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – the people im referring to do this even if they may not keep shomer or tznius.

    #1171477

    Sparkly
    Member

    bump but with new question similar and good for this topic.

    my question is: so we already decided its NOT tznius for girls to get rides from guys. but i go to college and know some guys who go to yeshiva and college at the same time and dont have cars. can i give those guys rides to yeshiva? or lets say i see a guy at the store needing a ride. can i give him a ride back to yeshiva?

    #1171478

    Meno
    Participant

    Quote from Gavra_at_work, upthread:

    “as a geder, you can have your Ema or spouse (if you have one) on the phone the entire trip (my Rov’s suggestion when this question came up).”

    #1171479

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – my mother knows the guy im referring to and its NOT safe to talk on the phone and drive.

    #1171480

    Meno
    Participant

    Sparkly,

    Use a headset? Or speakerphone if you don’t mind the guy hearing the whole conversation.

    Also I don’t think the fact that your mother knows him makes any difference. The advice is still good.

    #1171481

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – so your saying that if i drive him to yeshiva and talk to him thats not okay? but lets say we dont talk and his just in the backseat of the car not next to me not speaking to me?

    #1171482

    Sparkly -if you’re even asking you probably know it’s wrong.it’s your inner tznua telling you that a princess would not take a strange guy (and by that I mean not a relative) being that it’s someone your acquainted and familiar with the halachos are more serious. Btw I’m not trying to find something wrong but the questions you ask on all threads just don’t add up…..find a LOR ASAP!!! in no way am I trying to hurt u but a person whose asking the question you just asked is not the same person that doesn’t mind if her husband isn’t shomer….or am I wrong? Enlighten me please -HGG

    #1171483

    Sparkly
    Member

    Happygirlygirl – its because im trying to become more religious but i cant.

    #1171484

    apushatayid
    Participant

    You can’t? If you avoided situations that weren’t black or white you might find the going easier. Consistently finding yourself in the grey zone is enough to make anything difficult.

    #1171485

    Sparkly
    Member

    apushatayid – what do you mean by that?

    #1171486

    Chortkov
    Participant

    Sparkly: Anybody who believes in the entire Torah, but is koifer in a single mitzvah is an apikoires. He is not part of Klal Yisroel. And is therefore not Frum. Yiddishkeit is not at all limited to Kosher and Shabbat, and you will not find any posuk or gemara that would say such a thing. [You may be referring to the Halacha that ??? ????? ?? ???? ????? ??? ??? ????? ???? – this has no relevance to what you mean].

    Anybody who thinks that Torah is optional and that you can handpick the parts you like violates the 13 Ikkrei Emunah.

    #1171487

    Sparkly
    Member

    yekke2 – no one said that you can pick and choose from the Torah chasvichalilla.

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