August 10, 2016 12:58 am at 12:58 am #1171437
jewish feminist – i want smart children.
abba – some start college right away so theyll be doctors by 26.August 10, 2016 1:03 am at 1:03 am #1171438
sparkly, you still didn’t answer. Are you from Bronx?August 10, 2016 1:17 am at 1:17 am #1171439
SL: I don’t think it’s fair to pressure her where’s she’s from, especially since there’s only one likley neighborhood in the Bronx that you have in mind — regardless of your reason.August 10, 2016 1:17 am at 1:17 am #1171440
syag lchochma – i already said im not from new york and where is bronx? its in new york so no.August 10, 2016 1:27 am at 1:27 am #1171441
Mammele, I appreciate your concern for her privacy (?) but:
1) I wasn’t asking her about the bronx.
2) She seems quite capable of protecting herself and not answering questions she doesn’t want to answerAugust 10, 2016 1:34 am at 1:34 am #1171443
Syag Lchochma – their are MANY mo communities not in new york that i can live in any one of those.August 10, 2016 1:36 am at 1:36 am #1171444
I don’t even know where the bronx is, I don’t know what an “MO community” is and i surely didn’t know you lived in one.August 10, 2016 1:37 am at 1:37 am #1171445
Syag Lchochma – this was all stated in other posts. dont only come to this post and expect to know everything.August 10, 2016 1:41 am at 1:41 am #1171446
The Borough of the Bronx is Directly north of Manhattan.August 10, 2016 1:27 pm at 1:27 pm #1171447
What does being a doctor have to do with being smart? I know some guys who are in medical school, and they aren’t even that smart – especially when it comes to math.
Also, by deciding you will only marry a doctor, you are severely limiting your options. You’re just making things very difficult for yourself.August 10, 2016 1:33 pm at 1:33 pm #1171448
Meno – they had 4.0 gpa and are in harvard?August 10, 2016 1:41 pm at 1:41 pm #1171449
sparkly why do you address people so rudely?August 10, 2016 1:51 pm at 1:51 pm #1171450
So you will only marry someone with a 4.0 in Harvard Medical School? But it’s OK if he’s not Shomer Negiah?
I think your priorities are seriously messed up.
Good luck in life.August 10, 2016 3:27 pm at 3:27 pm #1171451
Sparkly: But you said that you’re smart. So your children will (probably) be smart even if you marry a guy who is just as smart as you are, but not davka smarter.August 10, 2016 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #1171452
The Bronx is where Yankee stadium is
The only sizeable jewish community there is in Riverdale where Avi Weiss is, I suspect any comments about the Bronx were related to Avi WeissAugust 10, 2016 9:55 pm at 9:55 pm #1171453
Meno – that was not nice to say that to me. also i think that your thinking about a guy who doesnt keep shomer, doesnt learn gemara and that kind of stuff, doesnt daven, doesnt go to shul, etc…. thats not the kind of guy im referring to. im referring to a guy who goes to shul, davens, doesnt keep shomer, learn gemara and that kind of stuff, etc…. so his still a frum guy just doesnt keep shomer.
jewishfeminist02 – im not a 4.0 student but im smart enough to get into a good pharmacy school.August 10, 2016 11:55 pm at 11:55 pm #1171454
Sparkly – “so his still a frum guy just doesnt keep shomer.”
Sparkly, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but not being shomer negiah may fall in the category of “yahareg v’al yaavor” which makes it much worse than other aveiros, so it’s hard to call someone who is not shomer negiah Frum.August 10, 2016 11:58 pm at 11:58 pm #1171455
I think that Sparkly said in another thread that she is from Lakewood. But she has also that she is MO, and as far as I know there are no MO communities in Lakewood, so I was just assuming that she has a Rabbi who does not live in Lakewood. Or maybe she grew up in Lakewood but now lives elsewhere?August 11, 2016 12:12 am at 12:12 am #1171456
lilmod ulelamaid – im not saying where im from. it could be i use to live in lakewood now live elsewhere. not going to say. for privacy sorry. i know frum people who dont keep shomer.August 11, 2016 3:08 am at 3:08 am #1171457
Sparly – you’re right for not saying where you are from.
“i know frum people who dont keep shomer.”
And I know Frum people who don’t keep ShabbosAugust 11, 2016 3:22 am at 3:22 am #1171458
lilmod ulelamaid – you cant be frum if you dont keep shabbos. the 2 things that make a person frum “keeping shabbos and kosher”. it says it in the Torah if anyone wants to bring the pasuk up.August 11, 2016 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm #1171459
My point wasn’t that you shouldn’t marry someone who’s not shomer negiah.
My point was that if you’re more makpid (particular) about your husband’s education level, field of study, and GPA than you are about his sh’miras Torah u’Mitzvos (i.e. you’re willing to compromise with regard to his sh’miras Torah u’Mitzvos but not with regard to his education, etc.), then I think you have your priorities backwards.
P.s. I responded to you rudely because you responded to me rudelyAugust 11, 2016 2:27 pm at 2:27 pm #1171460
some people are not shomer nekamahAugust 11, 2016 9:18 pm at 9:18 pm #1171461
Meno – when did i respond to you rudely?
Little Froggie – like meno.August 12, 2016 1:34 am at 1:34 am #1171462
Sparkly – “lilmod ulelamaid – you cant be frum if you dont keep shabbos. the 2 things that make a person frum “keeping shabbos and kosher”. it says it in the Torah if anyone wants to bring the pasuk up.”
Interesting, I’ve been learning for many years and never came across such a Possuk!! Where exactly does it say that?!!!
The word Frum is not used anywhere in the Torah, but it means someone who keeps the Torah. There are 613 Mitzvos in the Torah and nowhere in the Torah does it say that you only have to keep Shabbos and Kashrus!!!August 12, 2016 2:20 am at 2:20 am #1171463
lilmod ulelamaid – if you want me to tell you the pasuk i will h’h ask someone where it says that and post it on here. but its definitely written in the torah. if anyone else wants to bring up the pasuk im talking about please do so. Also i learn a lot more than you do since your a girl and most girls dont learn as much as i do. i learn a LOT for a girl.August 12, 2016 3:31 am at 3:31 am #1171464
Sparkly-it’s quite funny to hear you darshen about people who are frum and don’t keep kosher. I know that “I learn a lot for a girl” but I believe that there is a gemara that says if one is doing an aveirah we suspect him for another one. But “of course” your opinion is valued more than that gemaras. So tell me what your definition of frum is.August 12, 2016 3:39 am at 3:39 am #1171465
Lefty SoferStam – when did i say this? if you dont keep kosher your not frum. the 2 things required to be frum are kosher and shabbos if you dont keep one of those 2 your automatically not frum.August 12, 2016 3:53 am at 3:53 am #1171466
It’s strange then, that a frum Jew is required less than a goy. (the ??? ????? ??? ?? although someone as learned as you knows this).August 12, 2016 4:10 am at 4:10 am #1171467
Lefty SoferStam – goyim arent allowed to keep shabbos. so how are they required less than a goy?August 12, 2016 4:29 am at 4:29 am #1171468
Well,according to you, they only have two things to do, they can do anything else, and they’re frum, they can even do the things that goyim can’t. The goyim have to keep 7 mitzvos and the Jews only have to keep two. And maybe you wanna bring down this passuk that says that.
In other words this man dosn’t have to do 1-7 ????? ??? ?? but has to keep only 2 mitvos and he’s frum but a goy must keep these 7.August 12, 2016 4:37 am at 4:37 am #1171469
well also the basics. like believing in Hashem.August 12, 2016 4:41 am at 4:41 am #1171470
Well thanks for saying that now, not like I agree with you, but that changes the whole picture. You should’ve said it in the 1st placeAugust 12, 2016 4:45 am at 4:45 am #1171471
guys calm down please!
it right before tisha b’av
dont resort to name calling
i always thought that being frum meant not being an apikourus, i.e. believing in the 13 ikrei emunaAugust 12, 2016 4:57 am at 4:57 am #1171472
Lefty SoferStam – do you consider someone frum if they dont keep shomer, wear pants but keep everything else?August 12, 2016 12:30 pm at 12:30 pm #1171473
Why do you have to categorize them?
(and btw I’m sorry I was rude before, I got a bit carried away)August 12, 2016 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm #1171474
Meno – curios what you consider frum.August 12, 2016 1:45 pm at 1:45 pm #1171475
I define a frum person as: One who is genuinely interested in keeping Torah and Mitzvos and makes a significant legitimate effort to do so to the best of his or her ability.
I would never say that a certain person is not frum because he or she does not follow a particular Mitzvah properlyAugust 12, 2016 4:54 pm at 4:54 pm #1171476
Meno – the people im referring to do this even if they may not keep shomer or tznius.August 24, 2016 3:20 pm at 3:20 pm #1171477
bump but with new question similar and good for this topic.
my question is: so we already decided its NOT tznius for girls to get rides from guys. but i go to college and know some guys who go to yeshiva and college at the same time and dont have cars. can i give those guys rides to yeshiva? or lets say i see a guy at the store needing a ride. can i give him a ride back to yeshiva?August 24, 2016 4:59 pm at 4:59 pm #1171478
Quote from Gavra_at_work, upthread:
“as a geder, you can have your Ema or spouse (if you have one) on the phone the entire trip (my Rov’s suggestion when this question came up).”August 24, 2016 8:09 pm at 8:09 pm #1171479
Meno – my mother knows the guy im referring to and its NOT safe to talk on the phone and drive.August 24, 2016 8:13 pm at 8:13 pm #1171480
Use a headset? Or speakerphone if you don’t mind the guy hearing the whole conversation.
Also I don’t think the fact that your mother knows him makes any difference. The advice is still good.August 25, 2016 12:13 am at 12:13 am #1171481
Meno – so your saying that if i drive him to yeshiva and talk to him thats not okay? but lets say we dont talk and his just in the backseat of the car not next to me not speaking to me?August 25, 2016 1:32 am at 1:32 am #1171482
Sparkly -if you’re even asking you probably know it’s wrong.it’s your inner tznua telling you that a princess would not take a strange guy (and by that I mean not a relative) being that it’s someone your acquainted and familiar with the halachos are more serious. Btw I’m not trying to find something wrong but the questions you ask on all threads just don’t add up…..find a LOR ASAP!!! in no way am I trying to hurt u but a person whose asking the question you just asked is not the same person that doesn’t mind if her husband isn’t shomer….or am I wrong? Enlighten me please -HGGAugust 25, 2016 2:04 am at 2:04 am #1171483
Happygirlygirl – its because im trying to become more religious but i cant.August 25, 2016 2:31 am at 2:31 am #1171484
You can’t? If you avoided situations that weren’t black or white you might find the going easier. Consistently finding yourself in the grey zone is enough to make anything difficult.August 25, 2016 3:37 am at 3:37 am #1171485
apushatayid – what do you mean by that?August 25, 2016 10:02 am at 10:02 am #1171486
Sparkly: Anybody who believes in the entire Torah, but is koifer in a single mitzvah is an apikoires. He is not part of Klal Yisroel. And is therefore not Frum. Yiddishkeit is not at all limited to Kosher and Shabbat, and you will not find any posuk or gemara that would say such a thing. [You may be referring to the Halacha that ??? ????? ?? ???? ????? ??? ??? ????? ???? – this has no relevance to what you mean].
Anybody who thinks that Torah is optional and that you can handpick the parts you like violates the 13 Ikkrei Emunah.August 25, 2016 11:35 am at 11:35 am #1171487
yekke2 – no one said that you can pick and choose from the Torah chasvichalilla.
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