Giving women car rides

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  • #1171488

    Sparkly you did say that…because shomer Nagiya is part of the Torah also

    #1171489

    apushatayid
    Participant

    This is what I mean. You wrote “its because im trying to become more religious”. I think when you write religious you really mean observant. You want to do the right thing, but in many instances you find it difficult. May I introduce you to your yetser hara and yeser tov. Where things are black and white you find it easy to make a decision. Where things are gray the yester hara starts in with some very compelling arguments, sometimes it comes with very frum sounding arguments, he doesnt have a car, he needs to get to yeshiva (Im helping him learn, how great is that!).

    Bottom line, whatever you do, do it with the guidance of a Rav, Mentor or whoever it is you get your halachic and hashkafic guidance from. Makes life a lot easier to navigate.

    #1171490

    Sparkly
    Member

    Happygirlygirl – okay so keep shomer.

    apushatayid – i already am religious thank G-d. i keep tznius, kosher, shabbos and lots of other stuff. just by listening to not jewish music, watching tv and talking to guys DOESNT make me not frum.

    #1171491

    Okay so I just checked up the relevant definition of the word religious and it means “relating to or believing in a religion ” There fore even if someone doesn’t keep shabbos because its too hard for them but they admit that hashem is the only one that was and is and ever will be ha is still religious…I would say we are all religious unless someone here is an atheist (which deep inside no one is they just dont want to admit they want the easy way out in life to be null of doing ehat the torah says (or bible depending on religion ))

    #1171492

    Meno
    Participant

    Sparkly,

    You keep sending conflicting messages. You started another thread asking for advice on how to be more religious. Yet when apushatayid just tried to give you some advice in order to help you, you responded in a way that implies you are content with your level of religiousness, and that you don’t need his advice.

    Don’t ask for advice if you can’t take it. It’s disrespectful.

    #1171493

    apushatayid
    Participant

    “its because im trying to become more religious”.

    “apushatayid – i already am religious thank G-d. i keep tznius, kosher, shabbos and lots of other stuff. just by listening to not jewish music, watching tv and talking to guys DOESNT make me not frum.”

    Did I imply anywhere you are not religious? In fact I stated that what you really mean is more observant. Religious and observant are not the same thing.

    #1171494

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – i want advice on it. just that i want it to use for later in life just not right now.

    #1171495

    Meno
    Participant

    Oh ok

    #1171496

    Chortkov
    Participant

    Sparkly: You mean you recognize that your current way of living is not frum enough, but you are not interested in changing it until you can be bothered?

    #1171497

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly: |lilmod ulelamaid – if you want me to tell you the pasuk i will h’h ask someone where it says that and post it on here. but its definitely written in the torah. if anyone else wants to bring up the pasuk im talking about please do so. Also i learn a lot more than you do since your a girl and most girls dont learn as much as i do. i learn a LOT for a girl.”

    Sparkly, hate to disillusion you but it’s impossible for you to have spent as much time learning as I have since you haven’t been alive nearly long enough (I learned for approximately 10 years post high school). I have been fortunate to have had opportunities that most women don’t have or don’t want to have, and there are very few women in the world who have learned as much as I have been lucky enough to learn, especially in the area of halacha.

    #1171498

    Sparkly
    Member

    yekke2 – its TOO HARD to change on your own and when your around people who are less religious and may not even be jewish.

    #1171499

    Chortkov
    Participant

    Yekke – its TOO HARD to change on your own…

    Sparkly – you shouldn’t be on your own, and certainly not around “people who are less religious and may not even be Jewish”. You should have spiritual guidance, and you should have a social support group of people with similar aspirations for growth in Avoidas Hashem. [And I understand that it’s not always possible etc. etc. etc.]

    If you are trully recognizant of the fact that you aren not doing as well as you should, you cannot postpone growing or moving on. There is no ???? of “sorry, not interested at the moment”!!

    ?? ???? ?????? ????, ??? ?? ????… ?? ?? ????? ????…

    #1171500

    Meno
    Participant

    “Also i learn a lot more than you do since your a girl and most girls dont learn as much as i do. i learn a LOT for a girl.”

    Great logic.

    You can’t make this stuff up…

    #1171501

    Sparkly
    Member

    yekke2 – i CANT stop being around these kinds of people. no one accepts a homeschooler so these are the kinds of people who accept me for who i am so these are the kinds of people im around. they dont care if you are the most religious person they care what school you went to and apparently homeschooling is otd.

    #1171502

    apushatayid
    Participant

    I’m confused.

    #1171503

    Meno
    Participant

    Me too. I think I’m gonna give up

    #1171504

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – give what up?

    #1171505

    Meno
    Participant

    Sparkly,

    To be brutally honest, it’s very difficult to have a discussion with you. Your responses often don’t address the comment to which you are responding, you often blatantly contradict yourself from one post to the next, you ask for advice and then don’t welcome it when it’s given….

    I could go on.

    #1171506

    Meno
    Participant

    I just want to add one more thing (my last comment was approved before I had a chance to edit it).

    Sparkly,

    I don’t mean to discourage you from asking questions, or asking for advice. Asking questions is a sign that you have a true interest in growth, which is an excellent thing that most people are lacking. I’m just saying you might want to take a look at the way you respond to people.

    #1171507

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – thats VERY insulting. give me an example.

    #1171508

    Meno
    Participant

    Sparkly,

    Here’s an example:

    1 day ago, apushatayid said:

    “This is what I mean. You wrote “its because im trying to become more religious”. I think when you write religious you really mean observant. You want to do the right thing, but in many instances you find it difficult. May I introduce you to your yetser hara and yeser tov. Where things are black and white you find it easy to make a decision. Where things are gray the yester hara starts in with some very compelling arguments, sometimes it comes with very frum sounding arguments, he doesnt have a car, he needs to get to yeshiva (Im helping him learn, how great is that!).

    Bottom line, whatever you do, do it with the guidance of a Rav, Mentor or whoever it is you get your halachic and hashkafic guidance from. Makes life a lot easier to navigate.”

    You, Sparkly, responded:

    “i already am religious thank G-d. i keep tznius, kosher, shabbos and lots of other stuff. just by listening to not jewish music, watching tv and talking to guys DOESNT make me not frum”

    There are two problems with your response:

    1. It may be exactly what you are thinking, but it doesn’t address anything apushatayid said.

    2. You had originally asked for advice, and then rudely rejected the advice that apushatayid gave you, as if you had never asked for it.

    #1171509

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – i didnt do that on purpose.

    #1171510

    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno and apushtayid – i will respond now in a better way. okay. i see what your saying. but my mom even sends guys in my car to give them a ride to yeshiva. thats NOT me asking a guy if he needs a ride to yeshiva thats my mom telling me someone needs a ride to yeshiva so drop them off. so i do.

    #1171511

    absan
    Participant

    Sparkly. Let your mom join coffee room.

    #1171512

    Sparkly
    Member

    absan – why?

    #1171513

    absan
    Participant

    kidding

    #1171514

    Sparkly
    Member

    absan – im not stopping her. she can do whatever she wants.

    #1171515

    Wow wow lots of chaos and action going here. I don’t even have a comment just many questions. ..actually. .many many many questions. Sparkly do u have people in ur life that u can talk to? Family member,older friend, therapist,rebbetzin, teacher, mentor etc? Cause these guys here can’t help u cause

    A. You sound like you just want to voice what you are (on the religious status) but not take advice on it

    B. They don’t know you personally only from what you day here in the threads so with all your contributing factors in life.. .you need a mentor who understands all your dynamics in order to help you with whatever you are ready to change or need assistance with

    #1171516

    Sparkly
    Member

    Happygirlygirl – i dont talk to anyone maybe a bit exaggerating but close enough.

    #1171517

    It’s time to find one

    #1171518

    Sparkly
    Member

    Happygirlygirl – time to find what?

    #1171519

    Sparkly~ a mentor

    #1171520

    Sparkly
    Member

    Happygirlygirl – do you have a mentor?

    #1171521

    Sparkly ~ I have a therapist

    #1171522

    Sparkly
    Member

    Happygirlygirl – i have nada. and need nada.

    #1171523

    Sparkly- you kind of sound arrogant and egotistical “I need nada” everyone needs a person they can talk to. What makes you different? You’re a young girl that has many questions if anything you need a mentor alot. This is not to insult u obviously because I myself have a professional I speak to so I’m just trying to see ur logic

    #1171524

    Sparkly
    Member

    Happygirlygirl – people would look down at me if i had a mentor.

    #1171525

    Don’t you want to have a happy successful life for yourself? Who cares about what other people say it’s your life and getting a mentor or guidance counselor is probably the smartest decision you can ever make in ur life and btw nobody has to know I ur so worried

    #1171526

    apushatayid
    Participant

    If the people in your social circle would look down on you for having a mentor, you are in the wrong social circle. Everyone needs a mentor. Only someone who is full of themself claims not to need a mentor.

    #1171527

    Sparkly
    Member

    Happygirlygirl and apushatayid- my mother doesnt want me to have a mentor either.

    #1171528

    Sometimes mothers think they are doing what’s best for the children but they just want to be the closest peraon in their child’s life. They don’t want their child telling a stranger personal details because it makes them feel inferior. I know these things because I had to deal with it. As long as u know ur doing the right thing that should give u the confidence to continue

    #1171529

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly – have you asked her?

    #1171530

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly, I wish I had had a mentor when I was younger. Even now, I always try to find “unofficial mentors”, and I’m always happy when I can find one. I don’t know how I would manage otherwise. Actually, I didn’t manage very well when I was younger and had no mentors.

    #1171531

    Sparkly
    Member

    lilmod ulelamaid – why do i need a mentor?

    #1171532

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    I didn’t say you did, but since you mention it, I do think that all people need mentors. So if you are a person, I think you need a mentor.

    #1171533

    Sparkly
    Member

    lilmod ulelamaid – my husband will be my mentor h’h.

    #1171534

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly – sounds great! But I do think that everyone needs a mentor before marriage as well as a mentor when they are starting married life (other than their husband).

    #1171535

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly – a while ago, on another thread, I had mentioned a book about college. You had asked me for information about it, and I looked for it online and posted the info for you on that thread. Did you see it?

    #1171536

    Sparkly
    Member

    lilmod ulelamaid – please post it again.

    #1171537

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    “Brainwashed – how Universities indoctrinate America’s Youth” by Ben Shapiro. It can be found on Amazon.com

    I never read it, but I read about it, and it sounds fascinating and it sounds like it MIGHT be an important book for anyone attending college to read.

Viewing 50 posts - 151 through 200 (of 206 total)
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