August 25, 2016 1:03 pm at 1:03 pm #1171488
Sparkly you did say that…because shomer Nagiya is part of the Torah alsoAugust 25, 2016 2:08 pm at 2:08 pm #1171489
This is what I mean. You wrote “its because im trying to become more religious”. I think when you write religious you really mean observant. You want to do the right thing, but in many instances you find it difficult. May I introduce you to your yetser hara and yeser tov. Where things are black and white you find it easy to make a decision. Where things are gray the yester hara starts in with some very compelling arguments, sometimes it comes with very frum sounding arguments, he doesnt have a car, he needs to get to yeshiva (Im helping him learn, how great is that!).
Bottom line, whatever you do, do it with the guidance of a Rav, Mentor or whoever it is you get your halachic and hashkafic guidance from. Makes life a lot easier to navigate.August 25, 2016 3:04 pm at 3:04 pm #1171490
Happygirlygirl – okay so keep shomer.
apushatayid – i already am religious thank G-d. i keep tznius, kosher, shabbos and lots of other stuff. just by listening to not jewish music, watching tv and talking to guys DOESNT make me not frum.August 25, 2016 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm #1171491
Okay so I just checked up the relevant definition of the word religious and it means “relating to or believing in a religion ” There fore even if someone doesn’t keep shabbos because its too hard for them but they admit that hashem is the only one that was and is and ever will be ha is still religious…I would say we are all religious unless someone here is an atheist (which deep inside no one is they just dont want to admit they want the easy way out in life to be null of doing ehat the torah says (or bible depending on religion ))August 25, 2016 4:00 pm at 4:00 pm #1171492
You keep sending conflicting messages. You started another thread asking for advice on how to be more religious. Yet when apushatayid just tried to give you some advice in order to help you, you responded in a way that implies you are content with your level of religiousness, and that you don’t need his advice.
Don’t ask for advice if you can’t take it. It’s disrespectful.August 25, 2016 6:06 pm at 6:06 pm #1171493
“its because im trying to become more religious”.
“apushatayid – i already am religious thank G-d. i keep tznius, kosher, shabbos and lots of other stuff. just by listening to not jewish music, watching tv and talking to guys DOESNT make me not frum.”
Did I imply anywhere you are not religious? In fact I stated that what you really mean is more observant. Religious and observant are not the same thing.August 25, 2016 6:22 pm at 6:22 pm #1171494
Meno – i want advice on it. just that i want it to use for later in life just not right now.August 25, 2016 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #1171495
Oh okAugust 25, 2016 10:59 pm at 10:59 pm #1171496ChortkovParticipant
Sparkly: You mean you recognize that your current way of living is not frum enough, but you are not interested in changing it until you can be bothered?August 25, 2016 11:46 pm at 11:46 pm #1171497
Sparkly: |lilmod ulelamaid – if you want me to tell you the pasuk i will h’h ask someone where it says that and post it on here. but its definitely written in the torah. if anyone else wants to bring up the pasuk im talking about please do so. Also i learn a lot more than you do since your a girl and most girls dont learn as much as i do. i learn a LOT for a girl.”
Sparkly, hate to disillusion you but it’s impossible for you to have spent as much time learning as I have since you haven’t been alive nearly long enough (I learned for approximately 10 years post high school). I have been fortunate to have had opportunities that most women don’t have or don’t want to have, and there are very few women in the world who have learned as much as I have been lucky enough to learn, especially in the area of halacha.August 26, 2016 2:09 am at 2:09 am #1171498
yekke2 – its TOO HARD to change on your own and when your around people who are less religious and may not even be jewish.August 26, 2016 12:41 pm at 12:41 pm #1171499ChortkovParticipant
Yekke – its TOO HARD to change on your own…
Sparkly – you shouldn’t be on your own, and certainly not around “people who are less religious and may not even be Jewish”. You should have spiritual guidance, and you should have a social support group of people with similar aspirations for growth in Avoidas Hashem. [And I understand that it’s not always possible etc. etc. etc.]
If you are trully recognizant of the fact that you aren not doing as well as you should, you cannot postpone growing or moving on. There is no ???? of “sorry, not interested at the moment”!!
?? ???? ?????? ????, ??? ?? ????… ?? ?? ????? ????…August 26, 2016 1:10 pm at 1:10 pm #1171500
“Also i learn a lot more than you do since your a girl and most girls dont learn as much as i do. i learn a LOT for a girl.”
You can’t make this stuff up…August 26, 2016 4:02 pm at 4:02 pm #1171501
yekke2 – i CANT stop being around these kinds of people. no one accepts a homeschooler so these are the kinds of people who accept me for who i am so these are the kinds of people im around. they dont care if you are the most religious person they care what school you went to and apparently homeschooling is otd.August 26, 2016 5:16 pm at 5:16 pm #1171502
I’m confused.August 26, 2016 5:37 pm at 5:37 pm #1171503
Me too. I think I’m gonna give upAugust 26, 2016 5:52 pm at 5:52 pm #1171504
Meno – give what up?August 26, 2016 6:02 pm at 6:02 pm #1171505
To be brutally honest, it’s very difficult to have a discussion with you. Your responses often don’t address the comment to which you are responding, you often blatantly contradict yourself from one post to the next, you ask for advice and then don’t welcome it when it’s given….
I could go on.August 26, 2016 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #1171506
I just want to add one more thing (my last comment was approved before I had a chance to edit it).
I don’t mean to discourage you from asking questions, or asking for advice. Asking questions is a sign that you have a true interest in growth, which is an excellent thing that most people are lacking. I’m just saying you might want to take a look at the way you respond to people.August 26, 2016 6:30 pm at 6:30 pm #1171507
Meno – thats VERY insulting. give me an example.August 26, 2016 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #1171508
Here’s an example:
1 day ago, apushatayid said:
“This is what I mean. You wrote “its because im trying to become more religious”. I think when you write religious you really mean observant. You want to do the right thing, but in many instances you find it difficult. May I introduce you to your yetser hara and yeser tov. Where things are black and white you find it easy to make a decision. Where things are gray the yester hara starts in with some very compelling arguments, sometimes it comes with very frum sounding arguments, he doesnt have a car, he needs to get to yeshiva (Im helping him learn, how great is that!).
Bottom line, whatever you do, do it with the guidance of a Rav, Mentor or whoever it is you get your halachic and hashkafic guidance from. Makes life a lot easier to navigate.”
You, Sparkly, responded:
“i already am religious thank G-d. i keep tznius, kosher, shabbos and lots of other stuff. just by listening to not jewish music, watching tv and talking to guys DOESNT make me not frum”
There are two problems with your response:
1. It may be exactly what you are thinking, but it doesn’t address anything apushatayid said.
2. You had originally asked for advice, and then rudely rejected the advice that apushatayid gave you, as if you had never asked for it.August 26, 2016 7:28 pm at 7:28 pm #1171509
Meno – i didnt do that on purpose.August 26, 2016 7:30 pm at 7:30 pm #1171510
Meno and apushtayid – i will respond now in a better way. okay. i see what your saying. but my mom even sends guys in my car to give them a ride to yeshiva. thats NOT me asking a guy if he needs a ride to yeshiva thats my mom telling me someone needs a ride to yeshiva so drop them off. so i do.August 26, 2016 7:41 pm at 7:41 pm #1171511absanParticipant
Sparkly. Let your mom join coffee room.August 26, 2016 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm #1171512
absan – why?August 26, 2016 8:19 pm at 8:19 pm #1171513absanParticipant
kiddingAugust 26, 2016 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm #1171514
absan – im not stopping her. she can do whatever she wants.August 26, 2016 9:07 pm at 9:07 pm #1171515
Wow wow lots of chaos and action going here. I don’t even have a comment just many questions. ..actually. .many many many questions. Sparkly do u have people in ur life that u can talk to? Family member,older friend, therapist,rebbetzin, teacher, mentor etc? Cause these guys here can’t help u cause
A. You sound like you just want to voice what you are (on the religious status) but not take advice on it
B. They don’t know you personally only from what you day here in the threads so with all your contributing factors in life.. .you need a mentor who understands all your dynamics in order to help you with whatever you are ready to change or need assistance withAugust 26, 2016 9:30 pm at 9:30 pm #1171516
Happygirlygirl – i dont talk to anyone maybe a bit exaggerating but close enough.August 26, 2016 11:12 pm at 11:12 pm #1171517
It’s time to find oneAugust 28, 2016 12:43 am at 12:43 am #1171518
Happygirlygirl – time to find what?August 28, 2016 2:38 am at 2:38 am #1171519
Sparkly~ a mentorAugust 28, 2016 3:13 am at 3:13 am #1171520
Happygirlygirl – do you have a mentor?August 28, 2016 4:12 am at 4:12 am #1171521
Sparkly ~ I have a therapistAugust 28, 2016 4:46 am at 4:46 am #1171522
Happygirlygirl – i have nada. and need nada.August 28, 2016 5:17 am at 5:17 am #1171523
Sparkly- you kind of sound arrogant and egotistical “I need nada” everyone needs a person they can talk to. What makes you different? You’re a young girl that has many questions if anything you need a mentor alot. This is not to insult u obviously because I myself have a professional I speak to so I’m just trying to see ur logicAugust 28, 2016 5:37 am at 5:37 am #1171524
Happygirlygirl – people would look down at me if i had a mentor.August 28, 2016 6:49 am at 6:49 am #1171525
Don’t you want to have a happy successful life for yourself? Who cares about what other people say it’s your life and getting a mentor or guidance counselor is probably the smartest decision you can ever make in ur life and btw nobody has to know I ur so worriedAugust 28, 2016 1:05 pm at 1:05 pm #1171526
If the people in your social circle would look down on you for having a mentor, you are in the wrong social circle. Everyone needs a mentor. Only someone who is full of themself claims not to need a mentor.August 28, 2016 2:05 pm at 2:05 pm #1171527
Happygirlygirl and apushatayid- my mother doesnt want me to have a mentor either.August 28, 2016 3:06 pm at 3:06 pm #1171528
Sometimes mothers think they are doing what’s best for the children but they just want to be the closest peraon in their child’s life. They don’t want their child telling a stranger personal details because it makes them feel inferior. I know these things because I had to deal with it. As long as u know ur doing the right thing that should give u the confidence to continueAugust 28, 2016 3:10 pm at 3:10 pm #1171529
Sparkly – have you asked her?August 28, 2016 3:11 pm at 3:11 pm #1171530
Sparkly, I wish I had had a mentor when I was younger. Even now, I always try to find “unofficial mentors”, and I’m always happy when I can find one. I don’t know how I would manage otherwise. Actually, I didn’t manage very well when I was younger and had no mentors.August 28, 2016 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #1171531
lilmod ulelamaid – why do i need a mentor?August 28, 2016 4:02 pm at 4:02 pm #1171532
I didn’t say you did, but since you mention it, I do think that all people need mentors. So if you are a person, I think you need a mentor.August 28, 2016 4:46 pm at 4:46 pm #1171533
lilmod ulelamaid – my husband will be my mentor h’h.August 28, 2016 5:03 pm at 5:03 pm #1171534
Sparkly – sounds great! But I do think that everyone needs a mentor before marriage as well as a mentor when they are starting married life (other than their husband).August 28, 2016 5:04 pm at 5:04 pm #1171535
Sparkly – a while ago, on another thread, I had mentioned a book about college. You had asked me for information about it, and I looked for it online and posted the info for you on that thread. Did you see it?August 28, 2016 6:01 pm at 6:01 pm #1171536
lilmod ulelamaid – please post it again.August 28, 2016 6:53 pm at 6:53 pm #1171537
“Brainwashed – how Universities indoctrinate America’s Youth” by Ben Shapiro. It can be found on Amazon.com
I never read it, but I read about it, and it sounds fascinating and it sounds like it MIGHT be an important book for anyone attending college to read.
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