Jokes

  • This topic contains 2,008 replies, has 286 voices, and was last updated by  laskern 2 months ago.
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  • #1481109

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    I was going to post a time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it

    That joke is sooooo old

    #1483077

    Out-of-towner
    Participant

    Why does the chosson crack the glass at the wedding?
    Because it is the last time he is putting his foot down.

    #1483121

    laskern
    Participant

    Why does the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
    Why does the Lubavitcher cross the road? To be mekarev the chicken.

    #1483128

    laskern
    Participant

    A religious man and a chaver hakneses were walking together. The chaver haknesses was not nice to the religious man so he wanted to tell him off. He told him, three beings complained to Hashem, the alyah revii. alenu and a mamzir. The revii was complaining that people don’t consider it important. Alenu was complaining that people run out and the mamzir was complaining that it is not his fault. Each was repaid. The revii was placed in the shira and alenu in Rosh Hashono and Yom Kippur musaf prayer.
    Asks the chavrei knesses what about the mamzir? Answers the religious man, he was made chaver haknesses.

    #1484529

    laskern
    Participant

    A student wanted a letter of acknowledgement of his learning abilities. The rebbe signed it on the bottom of the page. He said it says, מדבר שקר תרחק.

    #1563533

    Wikipedia has a page called “Category:Positions within the British Royal Household.”
    It’s not a joke, but it might amuse you.

    #1568863

    When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that
    G-d doesn’t work that way – so I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me!

    So I’m at the Wailing Wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon…

    #1575154

    MasmidInTraining
    Participant

    Why can’t you have a dry שלום זכר?
    צריך ביאור.

    #1575877

    laskern
    Participant

    A friend, whose name is Sheye said that it is good that his father did not call him also Getzel because than he would have been called Sheygetzel.

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