December 30, 2011 5:31 am at 5:31 am #601392
So I’m starting to get into *that* part of my life (read: the Dating Scene) and I’ve been searching online for ideas of how to put together my shidduch resume’. Now, considering that I’m a “computer geek” through and through I turned to my Source of All Human Knowledge: Google. While I did find many articles about girls’ resume’s, funny resume’s, exaggerated resume’s, etc. I found no serious guidelines for what a guy should put on his resume’. Yes, I know I could actually go and _ask_ someone, but I thought I’d get more diverse answers if I asked here.
So… How do I design my shidduch resume’? (Remember, I’m asking seriously, so please don’t say ‘what tablecloth do you use?’ 😉 ) Thanks!December 30, 2011 5:13 pm at 5:13 pm #908086Think firstMember
Breif disrciption of urself
Type girl ur looking for.. Family, backround, personality etc.
Names of ur parents and occupations
Name Siblings and where what they are
references: people whom they can call and ask about you. Can be a friend, Rebbe,co worker etc.
Hope this helpedDecember 30, 2011 5:35 pm at 5:35 pm #908087ImaofthreeParticipant
Dor Yeshorim numberDecember 30, 2011 5:35 pm at 5:35 pm #908088dunnoMember
I would leave out the description…December 30, 2011 5:44 pm at 5:44 pm #908089yungerman1Participant
You can include summer camps, and who siblings married if relevant.December 30, 2011 6:46 pm at 6:46 pm #908090bptParticipant
Where you daven. (and if you don’t have a set place, PICK ONE, ASAP) as that will enable people to see you in your best setting. Especially, if you’re still in yeshiva, as when anyone goes to scope you out in the BM, you are among 100+ guys just like you.
At this point in life, you want to be the focus of attention, not part of the herd.
Personally, I would scratch “height”. Its (IMHO) irrelevant, both on your part and on hers. Weight, you can (to some extent)control, height is a fact.December 30, 2011 7:15 pm at 7:15 pm #908091koillel101Member
Height can be important because a boy who is short(5′ 5″) can be a little awkward with a 5’9″ girl.December 30, 2011 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm #908092popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Nothing. You don’t need one. You will rarely if ever be asked for one.December 30, 2011 7:57 pm at 7:57 pm #908093
Thanks everyone. Popa- I’ve already been asked a number of times if I had one, that’s why I started. It’s the “brief” and “etc.” parts I’m trying to figure out- Do I go through a whole laundry list of things I enjoy or just things I think are important that she share with me? And would I be listed as a ba’al gaivah if I say something like (this isn’t true, btw): “I try to learn every spare moment I have and have already finished Shas Bavli and Shas Mishnayos” i.e. should I highlight my positives or is that wrong?January 1, 2012 12:10 am at 12:10 am #908094shuliParticipant
dont. makes you sound like a showoff. to me at leastJanuary 1, 2012 12:32 am at 12:32 am #908095WIYMember
Are you kidding me? You finished shas mishnayos and gemara and are only Shidduchim aged?! (low 20s) Wow Im very impressed if its true (regardless of your age) although I am surprised someone like that has time to waste on the net.January 1, 2012 1:07 am at 1:07 am #908096estrapadeMember
Stick only to the basic facts. Your DOB/height may serve as immediate disqualifiers. As will your parents’ names. Therefore, it will save time to have it on the resume.
The description, what you’re looking for, etc. can be discussed verbally with the Shadchan.
Parents’ names & occupations
John Smith, Baker
Jane Smith, Homemaker
Siblings’ names and yeshiva/occupations
Jeff Smith, Attorney
Jerry Smith, 17, Yeshivas Coffee Room
Judith Smith, 15, Beis Yaakov Coffee Room
(list married friends, Rabbi, maybe a single friend from Yeshiva)January 1, 2012 6:12 am at 6:12 am #908097OneOfManyParticipant
Lol…reminds me of this one:January 1, 2012 6:24 am at 6:24 am #908098popa_bar_abbaParticipant
reminds me of this one:
That one I wrote there is really funny. I’m impressed with my month and a half ago self.January 1, 2012 6:30 am at 6:30 am #908099adamsParticipant
Is he always quiet on date, or are there cases where he is interested in the girl and is still quiet?
I think he needs some therapy in how to make a conversation, the art of, if you will.
He can ask her some quesitons, what does she do, what sort of things she likes, her family, where she grew up, school, etc.
there can be a list of things he can ask. Each question will generate a response and possibly a question from her.
Other areas of interest, travel, politics, learning, reading.
Perhaps he should keep the first date short, perhaps 90 minutes.
So he won’t run out of points on that list.
If there is interest a second date should have some activity be it a lecture, a shiur, etc. so they can discuss this.
If the interest proceeds further I believe he should tell her that his is not comfortable with conversations like that and let her decide how to take that.
By keeping his secret it won’t help.
Hatzlacha, it sounds like this is solvable.January 1, 2012 6:33 am at 6:33 am #908100☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
I think you posted on the wrong thread.January 1, 2012 3:42 pm at 3:42 pm #908101
Estrapade- So you think I should cut that all out? Even though it will probably be my first impression on the girl/family? I know from the guy side I have a friend who turned down a girl just because her resume’ wasn’t that informative, girls won’t do that? (That isn’t sarcastic or anything, I’m asking because I have no idea how these work.)
OOM & Popa- Haha! In fact that was one of the threads Google picked up when I was searching, but alas, it was for a girl.January 1, 2012 5:05 pm at 5:05 pm #908102OneOfManyParticipant
popa: A friend of mine posted that on an email group to a whoooooole bunch of girls. We all found it funny. (Hope you don’t mind) 😀January 1, 2012 9:51 pm at 9:51 pm #908103estrapadeMember
Chaimss – Why don’t you just ask your shadchan what is acceptable for your shidduch resume? Alternatively, ask your friends to see theirs.January 2, 2012 5:59 pm at 5:59 pm #908104Maurice85Member
write what you would like to see when you get a resume from a girlJanuary 2, 2012 6:19 pm at 6:19 pm #908105
Estrapade- Like I mentioned in my first post, I could (and I have) spoken with my friends, etc. but I figured I’d get more diverse results here, knowing the chashove community we have here.January 3, 2012 3:55 am at 3:55 am #908106golden momMember
and attach a picture
and pls dont do ur resume in question and answer format it is very weird and annoying to readJanuary 15, 2012 12:24 am at 12:24 am #908107YW BandMember
Mothers: I just heard from my Rav this Shabbos saying that just like Shifra & Puah got their names for doing a small thing like mothering Moshe Rabbeinu & that is what makes a gadol
You should never feel embarrassed to put on the resume that your a homemaker! never try to run away from real instincts!
of course, paransah is important…January 15, 2012 1:35 am at 1:35 am #908108mom12Participant
moms maiden name is important.
height is important. weight not necessary.
machatunim- if any
yeshivos that u learnt in.
and basically what you would like in a girl.
l’vush.. weekday and shabbos.
these are the details any shadchan would ask you..November 20, 2012 4:41 am at 4:41 am #908109WiseyParticipant
Maurice85 ,very smartNovember 20, 2012 1:01 pm at 1:01 pm #908112icedMember
chaimss: Wow. You only started thinking and getting into shidduchim 10 months ago and now you are already married a few months. Nice and quick!
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