Guy's Shidduch Resume'

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  • #601392

    chaimss
    Participant

    So I’m starting to get into *that* part of my life (read: the Dating Scene) and I’ve been searching online for ideas of how to put together my shidduch resume’. Now, considering that I’m a “computer geek” through and through I turned to my Source of All Human Knowledge: Google. While I did find many articles about girls’ resume’s, funny resume’s, exaggerated resume’s, etc. I found no serious guidelines for what a guy should put on his resume’. Yes, I know I could actually go and _ask_ someone, but I thought I’d get more diverse answers if I asked here.

    So… How do I design my shidduch resume’? (Remember, I’m asking seriously, so please don’t say ‘what tablecloth do you use?’ 😉 ) Thanks!

    #908086

    Think first
    Member

    Name

    Address

    Dob

    Hight

    Schools attended

    Current occupation

    Breif disrciption of urself

    Type girl ur looking for.. Family, backround, personality etc.

    Names of ur parents and occupations

    Name Siblings and where what they are

    references: people whom they can call and ask about you. Can be a friend, Rebbe,co worker etc.

    Hope this helped

    #908087

    Imaofthree
    Participant

    Dor Yeshorim number

    #908088

    dunno
    Member

    I would leave out the description…

    #908089

    yungerman1
    Participant

    You can include summer camps, and who siblings married if relevant.

    #908090

    bpt
    Participant

    Where you daven. (and if you don’t have a set place, PICK ONE, ASAP) as that will enable people to see you in your best setting. Especially, if you’re still in yeshiva, as when anyone goes to scope you out in the BM, you are among 100+ guys just like you.

    At this point in life, you want to be the focus of attention, not part of the herd.


    Personally, I would scratch “height”. Its (IMHO) irrelevant, both on your part and on hers. Weight, you can (to some extent)control, height is a fact.

    #908091

    koillel101
    Member

    Height can be important because a boy who is short(5′ 5″) can be a little awkward with a 5’9″ girl.

    #908092

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Nothing. You don’t need one. You will rarely if ever be asked for one.

    #908093

    chaimss
    Participant

    Thanks everyone. Popa- I’ve already been asked a number of times if I had one, that’s why I started. It’s the “brief” and “etc.” parts I’m trying to figure out- Do I go through a whole laundry list of things I enjoy or just things I think are important that she share with me? And would I be listed as a ba’al gaivah if I say something like (this isn’t true, btw): “I try to learn every spare moment I have and have already finished Shas Bavli and Shas Mishnayos” i.e. should I highlight my positives or is that wrong?

    #908094

    shuli
    Participant

    dont. makes you sound like a showoff. to me at least

    #908095

    WIY
    Member

    Chaimss

    Are you kidding me? You finished shas mishnayos and gemara and are only Shidduchim aged?! (low 20s) Wow Im very impressed if its true (regardless of your age) although I am surprised someone like that has time to waste on the net.

    #908096

    estrapade
    Member

    Stick only to the basic facts. Your DOB/height may serve as immediate disqualifiers. As will your parents’ names. Therefore, it will save time to have it on the resume.

    The description, what you’re looking for, etc. can be discussed verbally with the Shadchan.

    Hatzlucha!

    Sample Resume:

    Name

    DOB

    Height

    Yeshivas attended

    Occupation

    Parents’ names & occupations

    John Smith, Baker

    Jane Smith, Homemaker

    Siblings’ names and yeshiva/occupations

    Jeff Smith, Attorney

    Jerry Smith, 17, Yeshivas Coffee Room

    Judith Smith, 15, Beis Yaakov Coffee Room

    Shul

    References

    (list married friends, Rabbi, maybe a single friend from Yeshiva)

    #908097

    OneOfMany
    Participant
    #908098

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    reminds me of this one:

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/help-how-do-i-make-a-shidduch-resume

    Hee hee.

    That one I wrote there is really funny. I’m impressed with my month and a half ago self.

    #908099

    adams
    Participant

    Is he always quiet on date, or are there cases where he is interested in the girl and is still quiet?

    I think he needs some therapy in how to make a conversation, the art of, if you will.

    He can ask her some quesitons, what does she do, what sort of things she likes, her family, where she grew up, school, etc.

    there can be a list of things he can ask. Each question will generate a response and possibly a question from her.

    Other areas of interest, travel, politics, learning, reading.

    Perhaps he should keep the first date short, perhaps 90 minutes.

    So he won’t run out of points on that list.

    If there is interest a second date should have some activity be it a lecture, a shiur, etc. so they can discuss this.

    If the interest proceeds further I believe he should tell her that his is not comfortable with conversations like that and let her decide how to take that.

    By keeping his secret it won’t help.

    Hatzlacha, it sounds like this is solvable.

    #908100

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Adams,

    I think you posted on the wrong thread.

    #908101

    chaimss
    Participant

    Estrapade- So you think I should cut that all out? Even though it will probably be my first impression on the girl/family? I know from the guy side I have a friend who turned down a girl just because her resume’ wasn’t that informative, girls won’t do that? (That isn’t sarcastic or anything, I’m asking because I have no idea how these work.)

    OOM & Popa- Haha! In fact that was one of the threads Google picked up when I was searching, but alas, it was for a girl.

    #908102

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    popa: A friend of mine posted that on an email group to a whoooooole bunch of girls. We all found it funny. (Hope you don’t mind) 😀

    #908103

    estrapade
    Member

    Chaimss – Why don’t you just ask your shadchan what is acceptable for your shidduch resume? Alternatively, ask your friends to see theirs.

    #908104

    Maurice85
    Member

    write what you would like to see when you get a resume from a girl

    #908105

    chaimss
    Participant

    Estrapade- Like I mentioned in my first post, I could (and I have) spoken with my friends, etc. but I figured I’d get more diverse results here, knowing the chashove community we have here.

    #908106

    golden mom
    Member

    and attach a picture

    and pls dont do ur resume in question and answer format it is very weird and annoying to read

    #908107

    YW Band
    Member

    Mothers: I just heard from my Rav this Shabbos saying that just like Shifra & Puah got their names for doing a small thing like mothering Moshe Rabbeinu & that is what makes a gadol

    You should never feel embarrassed to put on the resume that your a homemaker! never try to run away from real instincts!

    of course, paransah is important…

    #908108

    mom12
    Participant

    moms maiden name is important.

    height is important. weight not necessary.

    machatunim- if any

    yeshivos that u learnt in.

    and basically what you would like in a girl.

    l’vush.. weekday and shabbos.

    these are the details any shadchan would ask you..

    #908109

    Wisey
    Participant

    Maurice85 ,very smart

    #908112

    iced
    Member

    chaimss: Wow. You only started thinking and getting into shidduchim 10 months ago and now you are already married a few months. Nice and quick!

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