September 6, 2011 1:10 am at 1:10 am #1126033am yisrael chaiParticipant
You claim you UNwittingly made a pun?
That was a most witting/witty pun/comment which is what I meant when I thanked you right after your funny post! It induced HEALing laughter in many, I’m sure…not m’akev!
You must just be a natural!September 6, 2011 1:27 am at 1:27 am #1126034Geshmakke MentchMember
It could be just a girl trying to get an opinion as to what guys like on first dates. She is probably not sure what to wear so she is saying in this way to remain anonamous and get feedback as to what is more acceptable heels/flats. who knows maybe her date is on here too.. some people are just too afraid to admit what’s really going on.. I don’t think she is trying to “play on other people’s buttons”, I think she just simply wanted anonamous feedback..
May you be matzliach in whatever you do. may you make the right decisions, and hashem should look watch over you and look after you every step of your way! May you find your Zivug bekorov!! Amen!!
Don’t worry about all these people bashing you. they are only bashing you because of their own personal expiriences/opinions and they have nothing against you! trust me. Don’t take it all to heart and Don’t be hurt.
Yes in my opinion heels are much nicer, but it sometimes does feel auckward dressing to impress rather than dressing for occasion, I know how you feel. Depending on what your guy is like, if he’s not so into dressing up he will not be attracted to a girl that is all dolled up, and if that’s not the way you really are don’t do it. because you will just be giving him a faulse impression of who you really are. what’s going to happen when you take off the mask and become who you really are????!! chas veshalom he won’t be attracted anymore..
the best way is to project over who your best self really is. and then you can then decide whether you will be lifelong mates and based on what you both REALLY are. You should also be comfortable the way you are dressed, if you are not it is much harder to have the confidence to bring y=out who you really are.
Much hatzlocha in this! I hope you do well!!!!September 6, 2011 1:29 am at 1:29 am #1126036jewishgirl09Member
I don’t usually post but when I saw this title I knew I should say something from the girl’s side. Forgive me if someone already posted something similar.
I am 5″9 and I have a lot of boys say no to me because of my height. I love to wear heels but because the boys are all my height or close to it I am not often given the chance. Therefore, I mainly wear flats. When it is said a boy is over 5″10 I usually assume it is exaggerated a bit and wear flats just to be on the safe side.
If you are too tall its a problem, if you are too short it is a problem. Basically there is no right way so regardless of what you do it is wrong!September 6, 2011 1:53 am at 1:53 am #1126037
here’s a real pun though
don’t look down because I think your going overboard with my punsSeptember 6, 2011 2:15 am at 2:15 am #1126038am yisrael chaiParticipant
Not a chance.
Laughter is so heeling for the sole 😉
(haifagirl…I know, I know, healing/soul…)September 6, 2011 2:45 am at 2:45 am #1126039
i didn’t know fish needed laughter too (sole)September 7, 2011 3:07 am at 3:07 am #1126040Joseph is backMember
Whoa I think a lot of people owe ME apologies. I am looking for a nice sweet girl with great middos and good personality, but being a classy looking guy, I also want a classy looking girl! And obviously if the girl was wearing flats but looked fancy anyways, I wouldn’t have noticed, but she didn’t seem like she made any effort to dress up. But being the gentleman that I am, I’m going out again bec I go by the rule to never say no after one date. So to all of you who are bashing me- I am no different than the single guys you know, and it must be easy to bash singles when you’re either married, have never been a guy, or just deems himself a tzadik who doesn’t notice externalsSeptember 7, 2011 3:19 am at 3:19 am #1126041
this was ur original post
I am 6 feet and the girl I am dating is 5’3. We went on a first date on Thursday and she showed up in flats!! If she was just a drop shorter than me I would understand but come on there was a 9 inch height difference and she clearly knew that cuz my height is on my resume. I was really upset because I felt that at least on a first date the girl should put on nice heels. I took the time to shower, shave, brush my teeth get my suit dry cleaned, shine my shoes and put my hat on. I asked my rav and he said that although he sees my point I should give the girl a second shot. I don’t feel like it is right to go on a second date when I clearly am uninterested. When I am a married man I want to be proud of how my wife looks. I don’t think I am being so crazy – many of my friends agree with me.
all you stated was that she’s short and didn’t bother to wear heels, not that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the occasionSeptember 7, 2011 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #1126042
JIB- you didnt say that and thats why everyone bashed you here. I for one think you are 100% right in being bothered bout it. I think ppl are pretending they dont care about the way their dates dress up but they really do…..September 7, 2011 7:22 pm at 7:22 pm #1126043ToiParticipant
i hear your taanos. but in the real world your expectations are retarded. the first time shes too tired to put on makeup or her head hurts so no shaitel what are you gonna do? Divorce her? base your marriage on things that count. demanding heels is nuts. and theyre uncomfortable.September 7, 2011 7:24 pm at 7:24 pm #1126044yepyepMember
My hubby thinks heels are ridiculous. The first time he told me, “Don’t wear them – they’re probably so uncomfortable,” I was shocked. I told him I’m the luckiest girl around because don’t all guys like when their wife wears heals? He couldn’t believe that was true – like why wear something so uncomfy. But now I’ll have to show him this ridiculousness right here in the Coffee Room. Since I had a baby, it’s been difficult to wear heals, so I don’t. And I don’t have the worries of ‘Maybe I should force myself to, because if not, my husband might not think I’m attractive.’ This takes the cake!! Look at the more important things in life!!September 7, 2011 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #1126045
I think what bothered him was that he felt she did not take time to put herself together for her maybe husband….September 7, 2011 8:28 pm at 8:28 pm #1126046MichaelCMember
It says in Talmud Shabbos that one of the reasons the Holy Temple was destroyed was because of Giluei Arayos. It cites a reason as follows, taller women would walk next to smaller women, Rashi writes that this made the taller women even taller. This aroused the Bochurim to sin.
SO wearing high heels that makes a woman appear taller, if she is already a tall girl could be a aveiro.September 7, 2011 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #1126047tahiniMember
Gosh the influence of YWN CR is far reaching indeed! Right over in rainy old England
Just opened door to a lovely girl back from a date in stockinged feet, she had been struggling with a pair of heels and eventually had to take them off ! the sweet boy who took her out, kindly lent her his little sister’s sneakers which were sitting in a sports bag in the back of his mother’s car. Great ice breaker !September 8, 2011 1:02 am at 1:02 am #1126048bein_hasdorimParticipant
Sorry, I find that story hard to believe!!!September 8, 2011 3:27 pm at 3:27 pm #1126049tahiniMember
So did i! But there she stood and as he has called again I think it went off rather well. A lot of girls suffer for fashion and image, real class comes from within! Forget the heels and look at the smileSeptember 8, 2011 5:46 pm at 5:46 pm #1126050
bein- dont either believe that story. doesnt make any sense.September 8, 2011 9:50 pm at 9:50 pm #1126051bein_hasdorimParticipant
tahini; What would’ve been funny, is if you would’ve suggested to the op, and his friends of similar fantasy, to borrow a few nice pairs of heels from their sisters (maybe different sizes)
and keep it in their trunk.
So like this when she walks into the car instead of saying in his head, “sorry it’s over” he should say “hey lets try this again”.
why don’t you go out back, while I pop the trunk, and see if you can’t find something to wear that would warrant me considering
you worthy of my time.
This is not me talking, That’s me, explaining how ridiculous
this not wearing heels on a 1st date is a strike out.January 7, 2016 5:04 pm at 5:04 pm #1126052
Beauty hurts. That’s an old one.January 9, 2016 12:10 am at 12:10 am #1126053nfgo3Member
First of all, I see that the opening post is 4 years old. Would the opening poster like to give us a status report on his dating? And if he is married, please be sure to report on your wife’s height. And if he is not, do you think that you are too fussy about women’s shoes, or height?
What struck me about the opening post is that the poster reported that he showered, brushed his teeth and put on clean clothes and a hat for his date. I thought nearly all of us do that every day, without creating an obligation on women to wear heels.January 10, 2016 5:04 am at 5:04 am #1126054TheDonald DuckMember
Heels on dates.
Squashed dates, what bal tashchis. Quack!January 10, 2016 4:47 pm at 4:47 pm #1126055
High heels are dangerous for women’s feet.January 10, 2016 5:50 pm at 5:50 pm #1126056Git MeshigeParticipant
Who are you marrying, the girl or her heels?January 10, 2016 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #1126057oomisParticipant
It may have been said previously (forgive me), but I dated a LOT of heels in my time, until I met my “sole”-mate.January 11, 2016 12:55 am at 12:55 am #1126058charliehallParticipant
My wife has never at any time since I met her worn or even owned any high heeled shoes. And that is one reason I married her. High heeled shoes exist to increase income for podiatrists.January 11, 2016 4:00 pm at 4:00 pm #1126059
High heels have other uses too. The heel can be used to conceal a weapon, with which the girl can threaten the boy if she doesn’t like him.January 11, 2016 4:06 pm at 4:06 pm #1126060
I am 5’3″, and I dated one boy who was 5’10”. I wore heels on the first date, and I could tell he was uncomfortable with them. I was uncomfortable with the height difference without my heels.
I wear heels on dates because I feel more confident in my appearance when I’m wearing them. I would be very offended, though, if I didn’t wear heels on a date and the boy made a big deal about it. I’d dump the boy in a heartbeat, actually… total antithesis of what I’m looking for.January 11, 2016 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #1126061
I’m 5’5″ and I always wear heels on dates. generally the guys are still a good few inches taller than me, and I’ve never dated a guy that felt uncomfortable about my heels!January 11, 2016 7:06 pm at 7:06 pm #1126062☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
Hashemisreading, is your wife aware of this?January 11, 2016 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #1126063apushatayidParticipant
If I wore heels, my wife would refuse to leave the house with me.January 11, 2016 7:27 pm at 7:27 pm #1126064
In my opinion, women should just carry their weapons in their purse. Or wear a hairpin that can be used to inject poison. Like that you can carry a weapon of self defense and still be able to run in case of danger.January 12, 2016 4:16 am at 4:16 am #1126065The QueenParticipant
If I wore heels, my wife would refuse to leave the house with me.
Thanks for the laugh!January 12, 2016 4:38 am at 4:38 am #1126066
Um, how do you girls get feedback from your dates as to whether he was unhappy with your choice of heels??January 12, 2016 6:24 am at 6:24 am #1126067
Joseph: through the shadchan- if the boy was stupid enough to make a comment about such an issue.
Then again, I’ve heard similar stories: my friend’s mother told me that after one of her daughters went out on her 6th date, she heard back from the other side that her daughter should get her makeup professionally done before each date. (This is a VERY pretty girl who does her makeup extremely tastefully.) She said no and ran. She did not tell her daughter what had happened, just that it didn’t work out. B’H her daughter met the right one shortly afterward, and the mother then told her daughter what had happened with the previous shidduch.
(The boy was also unhappy that she read the biography of Eleanor Roosevelt, but that was a different story…)
I agree with my friend’s mother on that one- it’s chutzpah. However, from the words of the OP of how “classy” a guy he is, he would probably agree with the boy.January 12, 2016 12:22 pm at 12:22 pm #1126068
It’s pretty sick for a boy to give feedback on his thoughts of the girls choice of dress or makeup.January 12, 2016 3:19 pm at 3:19 pm #1126070
If a boy is unhappy with the daggers in his date’s shoes, he usually screams something along the lines of “yaaah don’t kill me”.January 12, 2016 5:00 pm at 5:00 pm #1126071
DaasYochid: See multi personality disorder thread. lolJanuary 12, 2016 6:06 pm at 6:06 pm #1126072
Joseph- I actually agree with you on that one.January 13, 2016 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm #1126073
Technical21: but for a girl that is very with it and is looking for a very with it guy, she may find the feedback endearing!January 13, 2016 10:27 pm at 10:27 pm #1126074
Endearing or not endearing such feedback is inappropriate due to propriety and lack of modesty.January 14, 2016 2:23 pm at 2:23 pm #1126075
Lack of modesty on the girls part- she was dressed in a way that was too attracting.January 14, 2016 5:07 pm at 5:07 pm #1126076oomisParticipant
I agree that it is inappropriate for the boy to comment, but not for the same reason. It is just unmenschlech poor manners to comment negatively about her appearance to someone (likewise, for the girl to comment about HIS appearance). There will always come along another young man who likes her wearing those shoes.
BTW, I personally detest the spike heel look. It’s not pretty IMO, it’s totally awful for the Achilles tendon AND sacroiliac, and lethal during simcha dancing at a chasunah. I do like the look of some type of dressy heel, but up to two inches can give that pretty look without being outrageous. Just an observation…January 14, 2016 5:36 pm at 5:36 pm #1126077
Best Bubby EVER
but up to two inches can give that pretty lookJanuary 17, 2016 5:10 am at 5:10 am #1126078BasmelechpenimaParticipant
Try wearing a pair of heels for 5 hours then maybe you’ll understand why she wouldn’t want to wear them. If you’re looking for only how the girl dresses and no heels are a deal breaker, maybe you should re-evaluate your values!
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