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  • #594177
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I am out of town and will be attending shul on shabbos by myself at a shul where i dont know anyone i dont want to take anyones makom should i

    A) come early and just take a seat and hope for the best)

    B) come late and see what seats are empty

    c) ask the gabbai

    i went to this shul one shabbos about a yeaer ago and its usually pretty packed.

    #728737

    if theres someone to ask i ask

    otherwise i stand until things have been going for a while then i find a seat

    #728738
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Or do what I do when I go to shul on Friday nights*… just don’t sit.

    The Wolf

    * I’m not a member of the shul I daven in on Friday nights. However, I have found a spot that is not a seat where I can usually stand in peace and daven.

    The Wolf

    #728739
    deiyezooger
    Member

    c

    #728740
    bpt
    Participant

    If “out of town” means BP, and you happen to land in our shul, you won’t have a problem. We make it our business to seat all newcomers (and we have the space to accomodate, so it not at someone else’s expense or inconvenience)

    #728741
    oomis
    Participant

    it’s nice that you are so thoughtful about this. Don’t come LATE to shul, but if you get there early enough, just ask someone.

    #728742
    apushatayid
    Participant

    I believe in the 15 minute rule. After 15 minutes you lose all “rights” to “your” seat.

    #728743
    TheGoq
    Participant

    bpt your shul sounds nice,im not there this shabbos but save me a peice of herring for next week

    #728744
    real-brisker
    Member

    optiom c doesnt hurt

    #728745

    BP Totty,

    If “out of town” means BP

    This is is the first time I’ve ever seen someone refer to Boro Park as “out of town” (even as a hava amina)! ๐Ÿ™‚

    #728746

    Wolf,

    I hope you don’t mind, I’ve been borrowing your style of italicizing other posters’ quotes.

    BTW, you method of dealing with The Goq’s issue only works for someone who can stand for an entire davening.

    #728747
    charliehall
    Participant

    I once spent a Shabat in an out of town community that had seen better days. In a beautiful 700 seat beit knesset, there were about 30 people attending a Shabat morning service.

    And someone comes up to me and tells me that I am sitting in his seat.

    #728749
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I believe in the “guest does whatever he wants” rule.

    When I go to a shul which I don’t usually daven in, I just sit down wherever I like and it is too bad on whoever usually sits there.

    #728750
    Bowwow
    Participant

    popa_bar_abba

    “I believe in the “guest does whatever he wants” rule.

    When I go to a shul which I don’t usually daven in, I just sit down wherever I like and it is too bad on whoever usually sits there”

    does that include the Rav’s seat? What about if there a clearly marked seats or tables where a regular’s Talis bag is?

    #728751
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Bowwow:

    I have never sat in the Rav’s seat, but to be fair, I never wanted to. So I don’t know what I would do if I wanted to.

    If there is a talis bag on the seat, I would not move it and sit down.

    If there are name plates on the seat, I would sit there anyway.

    I think I am acting fine and normally. I think I am permitted to sit down even though I am a guest, and every seat is as likely to be someone’s seat as the next.

    If you don’t like it, daven at home.

    #728752
    not I
    Member

    This is always my dilema!

    That is why I sort of have a phobia about davening in a new shul..

    I am always scared I am going to sit in thh Rebbetzis seat!!

    Happened once, came to a tisch and took the front row seat!! Not really sure what I was thinking!! Just a little embarrasing!

    #728754
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Charliehall, were you in a Yekke shul?

    I was in my grandparents shul. There were maybe 5 women in the women’s section and there were room for 75 or so. A woman comes in and told me I was in her seat. Of course I moved, but I just chalked it up to a German thing.

    #728755
    Yaacov
    Member

    I’ve never had an issue… people usually don’t have the chutzpa to say anything anyways. I’ve asked a couple times when I saw people come in if I was in their spot, and even then, when it seemed pretty clear that I was, they told me it was ok.

    #728756
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Wolf,

    I hope you don’t mind, I’ve been borrowing your style of italicizing other posters’ quotes.

    Why would I mind? I didn’t invent it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    BTW, you method of dealing with The Goq’s issue only works for someone who can stand for an entire davening.

    Granted.

    The Wolf

    #728758
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Bowwow:

    Usually, nobody offers to direct me to a seat.

    Also, often the seats that are available have name plates and the seats that are not don’t have name plates.

    Also, if I come late, there is more of a reason why I can sit anywhere and assume the guy is not coming.

    Also, are you indignant because there is an inyan of “makom kavua” or because it is “your seat”?

    Also, I am not brash at all. You don’t own the seat. And if in your shul the people consider it that they do own the seat, you should have a sign on the door that says “KHAL ANSHEI S’DOM” so I’ll know not to come.

    #728759
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Bowwow. If the owner of the seat came on time, nobody would be sitting in their seat either ๐Ÿ™‚

    I use the 15 minute rule as stated above. All rights to a seat are forfeited once you are 15 minutes late to shul.

    #728760
    bpt
    Participant

    “first time I’ve ever seen someone refer to Boro Park as “out of town”

    I’m thinking global. Besides, Goq could be from LA or Lakewood (or even Flatbush), and that would make BP a foreign country.

    And not to worry, Goq. My table is THE place to be at a kiddush. If you’re not there for davening, you’re bound to gravitate towards it once the party starts.

    #728761

    or maybe u just shouldnt go to shul. EVer think of that??

    #728762
    cb1
    Member

    in the shul where i daven i have my own makom kavua and everybody in the shul knows it but if someone were to come and sit there i would probably move to a different seat

    #728763
    stamagoy
    Member

    chayav how cud you say something so tumadik on such a kadoshdikka website?? im surprised at u

    #728764
    bpt
    Participant

    People, what’s with the “goyish” names? Stam a goy?, And yesterday’s Shaigetz? Its your choice, but realy… is that how you see yourself?

    #728767

    Why would I mind? I didn’t invent it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Than I guess you’re not Al Gore IRL. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Have a good Shabbos (If you’re seeing this after Shabbos, than I hope you had a good Shabbos).

    #728769
    TheGoq
    Participant

    in the end i asked someone and they said im welcome to sit anywhere so i sat next to him

    #728771

    TheGoq,

    Thanks for the update.

    #728772
    TheGoq
    Participant

    yw ty for the input

    #728773
    Gabboim
    Member

    If he’s late, he lost the seat.

    #728774

    yw ty for the input

    they said im welcome

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