February 12, 2018 5:50 pm at 5:50 pm #1467438
Most people I talk to recognise the many serious problems with our school system. When I tell people that I homeschool my children they are fascinated by this, and understand the many advantages homeschooling gives the children as well as the family as a unit. However everyone tells me the same thing: I would do it, if there was a group of people doing it together. If all the people who ‘ would do it’ would actually do it, we will have a nice big community and a strong support system. I am posting here in hope to open people’s mind to the possibility of homeschooling and to answer any questions people might have regarding how it works.February 12, 2018 7:07 pm at 7:07 pm #1467485
How do you homeschool the Limudei Kodesh/Gemorah?February 12, 2018 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #1467510
If you are able to organize a bunch of people maybe they could make changes to the school or even open a new one.
Btw this is the case with many issues. If only we could come together about internet, smart phones, otd, drugs, abuse. The problem is we can’t come together on these issues at least haven’t yet.
In some bigger communities there are home schooling groups.February 13, 2018 12:29 am at 12:29 am #1467604
Homeschooling is more expensive. If you can afford it, that’s great, but not everyone can.February 13, 2018 6:42 am at 6:42 am #1467619
I know many people who homeschool. Here are some downsides:
– Kids not feeling “normal”
– Lack of social interaction/kids not having friends
– Kids don’t know how to work in groups, as a unit, and can get scared from being with too many people
– Lack of a parent’s knowledge
– Expense of hiring tutors if the parent cannot teach, teaching multiple ages/levels at once
– A mother being tired of seeing her kids 24/7 and acting at both teacher and parents and nurse and cook
In my city there’s a support group and meetups, but I know it’s only like 5 or 6 families…and very little friendship opportunity for kids, there aren’t n essesarily other kids in the group on the same hashkafaic level, age, and gender…February 13, 2018 10:58 am at 10:58 am #1467698
The social skills that children pick up in school surpass most disadvantages that might be in the system. Giving up on something so important can be extremely detrimental and can leave negative effects for life.February 13, 2018 10:58 am at 10:58 am #1467754
Homeschooling limudei kodesh is a problem for most families. Assuming that both parents are Bnei Torah (the father learned in a yeshiva after high school, the mother went to seminary), the boys Torah curriculum by late middle school includes subjects that the mother can’t teach (in particular gemara). And usually the father is employed and doesn’t have adequate time.
Remember that the home schooling parent has to give up tremendous time, resulting in opportunity costs. If the mother (as it typically is) has a college degree and the option to earn somewhere between $50K and $100K (which is normal), then the cost of home school is the money she gives up by staying home.
Also remember that the goyim have well developed networks to assist parents, and we do not.
However if one is seriously “out of town” in a place with no day school, or if one wants to home school for “English” only, this probably makes it more reasonable.February 13, 2018 12:27 pm at 12:27 pm #1467788
Regarding study of tomorrow people hire rebbi for fee hours, depending on father’s ability to teach children. It takes a tiny fraction of the time to teach a child one on one in accordance to personal needs than it takes in a classroom setting. There are also online classes that many people use for both judaic and secular subjects. Older children can also take advantage of the many shiurim and learning programs available in the neighborhood as well as online.
Homeschooling is as expensive as you want it to be. Perhaps if it only one child you are homeschooling it can end up more expensive if mother leaves her job to care for one child. but of you have many children it is difficult to imagine how can it possibly be more expensive. Most subjects covered in school do not require special tutors. But by homeschooling children get both time and financial ability to pursue extra curricular interests. As opposed to education system that chews up information into tiny bits for children, then asks them to swallow it and then spit it back. Homeschooling allows for child led approach where children have time to think, explore, and learn to study on their own.
I have never seen such a phenomina that homeschooling children have a hard time in groups or any kind of social situations. It is exactly the opposite. My children get to interact with wide variety of people as opposed to people exactly like them, their age, their background, in the same uniform (like real life). Therefore my children are the most well socially adjusted children that I know. They do not have the inhibition that I see in so many children in my neighborhood. My children play with all kids in the neighborhood who range from chassidish to secular. They are comfortable with all ages, including many adults who we have over as shabbos geusts. And I think that is the most important chinuch they can ever get. Real life does not resemble a sterile classroom.
As for feeling ‘normal’ , let’s be honest, there is no lack of children that are made to feel not normal by the school system. If homeschooled kids don’t feel ‘normal’ that is not something that is inherent in homeschooling. In my opinion it is very important to teach children that they do not have to be like everyone else in order to be ‘normal’. This idea that everyone has to be cookie cutter same is one of the ugliest trends the frum scosiety has developed in the past generation.
Teachers in school are often very poorly equipped to teach. People I know who go into chinuch are regular people who do not have more education than an average mother. They often have less.
True mothers get tired of dealing with kids without break. Mothers also get tired of having to work, then deal with kids all evening and wake up for babies at night. Etc. All mothers get tired. Father’s also need to be involved. Hiring babysitters and cleaning help as often as necessary is a tiny price to pay for the many benefits children get by spending their childhood stress free in a family setting as opposed to in a mass production one size fits all system.February 13, 2018 1:21 pm at 1:21 pm #1467892
I hear that. Here in Israel where tuition can be 50 dollars a month, home schooling IS more expensive for sure. Not everyone wants their kids on the internet.
Not all kids make friends with their neighbors and many families I know have too many kids to sign up for activities or extra curricular things that aren’t free out of school, so where else do kids make friends? Where I live many people do not have families over, its’ not really done over here.
How do you teach 10 kids of multiple ages all at once?
Most children go to school, it’s a mutual expirience the majority of kids do, so when a kid doesn’t go they may feel not normal. Depends on the kid..February 13, 2018 1:30 pm at 1:30 pm #1467915
Mindful, it is more expensive for the same reason DIY is almost always more expensive: the commercial option is made efficient by the laws of economics. The reason people don’t consider it more expensive is because they don’t count their time and effort as a cost.February 13, 2018 3:14 pm at 3:14 pm #1467948
Rebyid- people no who can do things themselves save lots of money. Mechanics can easily cost $150 / hr. And an job that takes 20min they charge an hour for. So if someone works at a job making $50 and hour it’s definitely a big savings.
If you have 5 kids in school and paying $50k plus with after tax dollars. Then a mother who would otherwise make that would make $50k working.
For some people it would work financially others not.
The parents also need to be on board and want it. It takes time and effort and part of parents but some are willing and able to do it.February 13, 2018 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm #1468655
People can save money by doing things themselves, but it comes at the cost of their time and effort, so it’s more expensive.February 14, 2018 7:55 am at 7:55 am #1468913
RY23: you and JJ are both correct regarding diy. It’s usually more expensive if you figure how much you earn an hour and the time it cost you, but (as I once read somewhere but don’t recall where) practically speaking if you’re doing the project during hours you don’t normally work, or don’t have any work to attend to at that time, the end result will be money saving.
You might also learn a thing or two and have some pride in your accomplishment. If you’re already good at something and have the supplies on hand, like some mechanical stuff, it generally will be cheaper to do it yourself than hiring somebody, even when comparing it to your earning potential.February 14, 2018 9:54 pm at 9:54 pm #1469591
Regarding homeschooling different ages. There are many things kids of different ages can do together, and each benefits on their own level. Older children mentoring younger ones is a great educational experience for both the older and the younger. In my homeschooling methodology, the goal is to make use of children’s natural curiosity and desire to learn and make them into independent learners. The older children should be able to accomplish much of their learning independently.
Diy can he more expensive but i find that is a rare case. The reason to do diy is to get the exact product you want and the high quality you want. I do diy because the product I want is not on the market. It is custom made and tailored to each of my children.
I do not know any homeschooling families who are doing this because they are rich. They do not have any special financial surcumstanses. They are doing this because they believe it is best for their children.
As a young woman who is still building a family, pursuing my career has too many drawbacks. I just cannot be depositing by newborn babies at a babysitter. Babies need a lot of holding and nursing and unless you have a privet babysitter there is no way a baby gets proper care. Another two toddlers in play group, and a few school tuitions, plus after care. Me working can be worth the money, especially if you consider the price my infants would have to pay for it, and the health and sanity I would loose by doing so.
People who choose homeschooling can afford it because that is what is important to them. If people can afford kollel with the mother shouldering all responsibilities of both man and woman… Then definitely people can afford mother staying home and saving on tuition while the father makes a living. If that is what they value. It is not a lifestyle of luxury. But it is a lifestyle of freedom and health. I have time to give all my children attention they need and I have opportunity to feed them fresh homemade food for every meal. No one is rushing, no one is stressed. No one tells us when to wake up, how to dress, what kind of cell phone to use, etc. My children are not receiving grades, or tickets or stickers or avoiding punishments. Everyone has opportunity to explore and discover and think about what interests them.
I do have a graduate degree, but I realized pursuing my career is not compatible with the way I want to raise my children. As much as I feel I wasted much money and many years on my graduate education, it is not a reason to waste more time and money on a lifestyle I don’t believe in. I am building my life around the way I want to raise my family. I am coming up with other opportunities to make money. And my children can learn and be part of both mine and my husband’s business ventures. It’s a family adventure and the parents are in full control.February 15, 2018 3:45 am at 3:45 am #1469657
MIndful, you bring up some good points how homeschooling can benefit kids. Of course, not every parent is capable of teaching, with the knowledge, patience, creativity it involves, even with on-line support, so that would be a factor why it works for your family, but may not for other families.
You describe how your kids are better off because they don’t have pressure, stress or grades, etc. Also, they are not exposed to some of the bad behaviors and negative social interactions that can sometimes happen at school.
The thing is, that these things do happen in real life. At some point the home-schooled kid will join the workforce, and have to interact with co-workers. Some might not be so nice. There will be deadlines, and stress, and pressure, bosses to please and reward/punishment in terms of salary, bonuses, getting fired. They may have to work with a team and conform to company policy. Will kids who were educated in a stress-free bubble and be trained to be independent learners be able to handle this? Is there research out there on the success of home-school kids in the workplace? And how long does home-schooling continue- also for HS? Will these kids go to regular yeshivos/seminaries/colleges (if applicable) or study independently?February 15, 2018 3:48 am at 3:48 am #1469643
Who says people can afford kollel?February 15, 2018 3:48 am at 3:48 am #1469646
out of town yidParticipant
Lubavitch offers an online homeschool program, available in either English or Hebrew…. For some, it may be worthwhile exploring the offerings. It is especially good if one is not near a Jewish community. I know some who have used it, but I am not that familiar with it. the English program has US hours, the Hebrew program runs on Israeli time. It may be a viable option for some.February 15, 2018 4:48 pm at 4:48 pm #1470158
Not everyone uses online classes, personally it’s not something I am into. I was giving examples of different possibilities that exist.
I am not attempting to shield my children from reality by not sending them to school. I find school has very little to do with reality. Unless you plan to spend your life behind a desk , surrounded by desks with people of your exact age and background, and having someone constantly giving you direction. My children will have many real opportunities to work hard and accomplish things in the world. Their reward will not be a grade but the fruit of their labor. The school is the bubble. And that is one of the biggest problems with it. And yes there are multiple studies which show the benefits of homeschooling. Though it is often not wise to apply general statistics to individual situations. Nothing is ‘for everyone.’ But I think homeschooling is something many children and families can benefit from.February 15, 2018 11:13 pm at 11:13 pm #1470394
If a group of families make a school in their homes where parents take turns teaching, would that still be considered homeschooling?
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