How Corona Taught Klal Yisroel to Make Small Simchas

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  • #1841202
    Joseph
    Participant

    A lesson directly from the Ribono Shel Olam: A backyard Chasuna and a Chasuna, Bar Mitzvah or any other simcha with “only” 50 people or a backyard Chasuna and a basement Bar Mitzvah or a living room Bris is just as effective, beautiful and worthwhile as 500 person wedding in a fancy hall with the best caterer and musicians.

    No need for fancy halls, musicians, photographers, flowers, catering and all the other narishkeiten.

    Even afternoon Chasunas ending in the every early evening are all the rage again! Back in the alte heim before the war it was common to make Chasunas on Friday afternoon/Shabbos night.

    #1841316
    Grey matter
    Participant

    We have to be more sensitive to those whose very special day the where planning for a long time was celebrated witjought their family and friend and to those who had to cancel

    #1841319
    Joseph
    Participant

    Rey M: What’s the issue — will a smaller chasuna with 50 people make the first 50 years of marriage be worse off than if the wedding had 400 people?

    #1841354
    anonymous Jew
    Participant

    Joseph, the shtetl did that because the jews were so poor they couldn’t afford chicken twice in one week.

    #1841367
    Joseph
    Participant

    AJ: Wealth is a necessity? Our Zeidas and Bubbes were happier than we are despite their limited material resources.

    #1841380

    How Corona Taught Klal Yisroel to Make Small Simchas. If it continues once it passes.

    #1841474
    catch yourself
    Participant

    Joseph +1

    I don’t know if this is the primary intended message (I hope it isn’t), but it certainly is one that we should learn.

    The median family income in the United States is just over $63,000 a year. Even if someone earns twice that, it is absurd to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding (including all the ancillary expenses such as clothing, travel, etc.). We should take this opportunity to change the culture for weddings and other Simchos.

    #1841501
    1
    Participant

    Since when is it bad to invite a lot of people to a simcha?

    #1841499
    TGIShabbos
    Participant

    It’s rare that I agree, but Jospeh is making accurate and excellent points. We are discovering what’s really important (from an halachic and practical standpoint) with regards to simchos. Maybe now we won’t see tzedaka campaigns collecting upwards of $100,000 for a wedding for an orphan, widower, someone on hard times- because at the end of the day what really matters is making sure the marriage is successful and making sure they have a roof over their heads—- the campaigns accomplish neither.

    #1841494
    Talkingtachlisnow26
    Participant

    Couldn’t agree more

    #1842012
    commonsaychel
    Participant

    My wife grandmother got married in 1947 together with 3 other couples they shared the same dress and suit, the shared sudah was Friday night and had little over a minyan, she had a very happy marriage and build a bais nemon even without all the bells, 8 piece band and prime rib

    #1842106
    Naftush-2
    Participant

    “Since when is it bad to invite a lot of people to a simcha?” When you run yourself into debt for it. When you do it only because your wealthier (or equally bullied) neighbors did it. When you do it because your guests come not to give you joy but for you to give them joy, as in providing them with a full-bore rock concert. That covers a large percent of all simchas today, doesn’t it?

    #1843777
    Joseph
    Participant

    I noticed in recent days that my point in the OP here is starting to pick up steam and being advocated for in Klal Yisroel.

    #1843971
    ywnjudy
    Participant

    I’m100% in agreement with Joseph too.

    #1845610
    CTRebbe
    Participant

    I hate to admit it by Joseph is actually making a very good point. The next question is what are the practical solutions that can be implemented to utilize these ideas after the crisis will IY”H pass? Most takana rules do not go very far. It is very difficult to get an entire tzibur to agree to make real changes.

    #1845614
    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    This is a great point! Whenever I go to a wedding, my non Jewish Coworkers are amazed at the amount of people that are invited. To them a “big” wedding is 150+ people. My boss got married in her small NYC apartment. She was somehow able to squeeze in 50 guests. We don’t need to invite the whole town. If you can afford to do a lavish wedding, great! Do that. But we shouldn’t be as materialistic.

    The best memories from weddings are the joy expressed at the wedding more so than what food was served. Frankly if you are getting more out of the food than feeling joy towards the couple, you probably should not have been invited to the wedding.

    #1845713
    anonymous Jew
    Participant

    Big weddings are a relatively recent phenomenon. The old Washington Hotel used to be a popular wedding venue when weddings rarely exceeded 200 people. Same for the Aperion Manor. Regardless of the number of invitees, it is senseless to go into debt.
    Joseph, only someone who isn’t poor could repeat that zayde and bubbe bubbe maysa. In his biography, Nathan Handweker ( of Nathan’s fame ) said that his family ( as well as many others ,) in Galicia was so poor that he could not remember a day that he wasn’t hungry. That was why he went into the food business when he came to the US. When you don’t have a kopek and don’t know how the rent will be paid, or food bought, you can’t be happy

    #1846095
    Joseph
    Participant

    The Gedolim are now making this point:

    Something To Think About In These Challenging Times

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