March 19, 2020 12:26 pm at 12:26 pm #1841202
A lesson directly from the Ribono Shel Olam: A backyard Chasuna and a Chasuna, Bar Mitzvah or any other simcha with “only” 50 people or a backyard Chasuna and a basement Bar Mitzvah or a living room Bris is just as effective, beautiful and worthwhile as 500 person wedding in a fancy hall with the best caterer and musicians.
No need for fancy halls, musicians, photographers, flowers, catering and all the other narishkeiten.
Even afternoon Chasunas ending in the every early evening are all the rage again! Back in the alte heim before the war it was common to make Chasunas on Friday afternoon/Shabbos night.March 19, 2020 3:08 pm at 3:08 pm #1841316Grey matterParticipant
We have to be more sensitive to those whose very special day the where planning for a long time was celebrated witjought their family and friend and to those who had to cancelMarch 19, 2020 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #1841319
Rey M: What’s the issue — will a smaller chasuna with 50 people make the first 50 years of marriage be worse off than if the wedding had 400 people?March 19, 2020 4:43 pm at 4:43 pm #1841354anonymous JewParticipant
Joseph, the shtetl did that because the jews were so poor they couldn’t afford chicken twice in one week.March 19, 2020 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #1841367
AJ: Wealth is a necessity? Our Zeidas and Bubbes were happier than we are despite their limited material resources.March 19, 2020 7:12 pm at 7:12 pm #1841380lowerourtuition11210Participant
How Corona Taught Klal Yisroel to Make Small Simchas. If it continues once it passes.March 20, 2020 1:15 am at 1:15 am #1841474catch yourselfParticipant
I don’t know if this is the primary intended message (I hope it isn’t), but it certainly is one that we should learn.
The median family income in the United States is just over $63,000 a year. Even if someone earns twice that, it is absurd to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding (including all the ancillary expenses such as clothing, travel, etc.). We should take this opportunity to change the culture for weddings and other Simchos.March 20, 2020 7:42 am at 7:42 am #18415011Participant
Since when is it bad to invite a lot of people to a simcha?March 20, 2020 8:09 am at 8:09 am #1841499TGIShabbosParticipant
It’s rare that I agree, but Jospeh is making accurate and excellent points. We are discovering what’s really important (from an halachic and practical standpoint) with regards to simchos. Maybe now we won’t see tzedaka campaigns collecting upwards of $100,000 for a wedding for an orphan, widower, someone on hard times- because at the end of the day what really matters is making sure the marriage is successful and making sure they have a roof over their heads—- the campaigns accomplish neither.March 20, 2020 8:10 am at 8:10 am #1841494Talkingtachlisnow26Participant
Couldn’t agree moreMarch 23, 2020 10:13 am at 10:13 am #1842012commonsaychelParticipant
My wife grandmother got married in 1947 together with 3 other couples they shared the same dress and suit, the shared sudah was Friday night and had little over a minyan, she had a very happy marriage and build a bais nemon even without all the bells, 8 piece band and prime ribMarch 23, 2020 1:22 pm at 1:22 pm #1842106Naftush-2Participant
“Since when is it bad to invite a lot of people to a simcha?” When you run yourself into debt for it. When you do it only because your wealthier (or equally bullied) neighbors did it. When you do it because your guests come not to give you joy but for you to give them joy, as in providing them with a full-bore rock concert. That covers a large percent of all simchas today, doesn’t it?March 27, 2020 1:25 pm at 1:25 pm #1843777
I noticed in recent days that my point in the OP here is starting to pick up steam and being advocated for in Klal Yisroel.March 27, 2020 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #1843971ywnjudyParticipant
I’m100% in agreement with Joseph too.April 1, 2020 12:34 am at 12:34 am #1845610CTRebbeParticipant
I hate to admit it by Joseph is actually making a very good point. The next question is what are the practical solutions that can be implemented to utilize these ideas after the crisis will IY”H pass? Most takana rules do not go very far. It is very difficult to get an entire tzibur to agree to make real changes.April 1, 2020 1:01 am at 1:01 am #1845614Burnt SteakParticipant
This is a great point! Whenever I go to a wedding, my non Jewish Coworkers are amazed at the amount of people that are invited. To them a “big” wedding is 150+ people. My boss got married in her small NYC apartment. She was somehow able to squeeze in 50 guests. We don’t need to invite the whole town. If you can afford to do a lavish wedding, great! Do that. But we shouldn’t be as materialistic.
The best memories from weddings are the joy expressed at the wedding more so than what food was served. Frankly if you are getting more out of the food than feeling joy towards the couple, you probably should not have been invited to the wedding.April 1, 2020 1:26 pm at 1:26 pm #1845713anonymous JewParticipant
Big weddings are a relatively recent phenomenon. The old Washington Hotel used to be a popular wedding venue when weddings rarely exceeded 200 people. Same for the Aperion Manor. Regardless of the number of invitees, it is senseless to go into debt.
Joseph, only someone who isn’t poor could repeat that zayde and bubbe bubbe maysa. In his biography, Nathan Handweker ( of Nathan’s fame ) said that his family ( as well as many others ,) in Galicia was so poor that he could not remember a day that he wasn’t hungry. That was why he went into the food business when he came to the US. When you don’t have a kopek and don’t know how the rent will be paid, or food bought, you can’t be happyApril 2, 2020 8:14 am at 8:14 am #1846095
The Gedolim are now making this point:April 20, 2020 5:10 pm at 5:10 pm #1851129RYT26Participant
Reb. Yoel Roth is right about making small chasunas
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