April 26, 2017 4:22 pm at 4:22 pm #1263360
Any advice on how to become more religious?April 26, 2017 5:07 pm at 5:07 pm #1263411☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
Daven three times a day with kavanah.April 26, 2017 5:08 pm at 5:08 pm #1263437JosephParticipant
What does being “religious” mean?April 26, 2017 5:28 pm at 5:28 pm #1263472
Try to think positively of others even when they annoy you.April 26, 2017 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm #1263546yungermanSParticipant
learn the jewish laws with a study partner, starting with the more frequent lawsApril 26, 2017 5:34 pm at 5:34 pm #1263545DovidBTParticipant
Make it a priority to study the Torah every day, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Coordinating it with the weekly parashah is a convenient way to ensure that you study the whole Torah every year.April 26, 2017 5:42 pm at 5:42 pm #1263582
1. Think of an area you need to work on and take on one aspect of that area that you will try to do 100%.
For example, if you feel you need to work on tznius, start making sure that your knees are covered whenever you are sitting.
2. Make sure you go to some kind of shiur at least once a week.
3. Hang around people who are the type of people whom you want to emulate, and try to become friends with them.
4. Don’t hang around people whom you don’t want to emulate.April 26, 2017 6:32 pm at 6:32 pm #1263655
Lilmod, the reason why I asked was because now not only is it the other guy now it has gone to more guys in fact I am not dating him but another guy (younger than me) so I really do need to work on this.April 26, 2017 7:13 pm at 7:13 pm #1263661
“so I really do need to work on this.”
Work on what exactly?
How much younger?April 26, 2017 10:35 pm at 10:35 pm #1263776
Lilmod, not talking to random guys and having them date me. I am going to meet him iyh soon. But I feel like we should not even be talking without a shadchan but he comes from a much more religious background than me which is why he makes me feel funny sometimes.April 27, 2017 5:34 am at 5:34 am #1263796WinnieThePoohParticipant
so it was bound to revert to RebShidduch’s dating life..
1. you follow the advice that CR posters already gave you
2. you stop talking to, hanging out with, giving rides to, spending time with, confiding in, doing kiruv on, studying with, etc. any boy, no matter what age, religious affiliation, how much he promises you he will learn in the future, or degree of interest he shows in you, unless it is a shidduch date with the purpose of seeing whether he is a potential marriage partner, pre-approved by a parent.
3. see point 1.
disclaimer: this advice is specifically geared to RebShidduch based on her previous posts and not meant to be generalized to other situations.April 27, 2017 7:10 am at 7:10 am #1263806takahmamashParticipant
Stop wasting your time on Internet websites like your Rebbe told you.April 27, 2017 7:12 am at 7:12 am #1263812
Winniethepooh, I agree but it is very hard for me.April 27, 2017 8:51 am at 8:51 am #1263828
I was going to suggest that you consider switching out of a coed college so that you won’t be around boys and the temptation won’t exist.
However, you now mention that you will be meeting this boy soon, but it’s not a shidduch. I am wondering what that means. How did this boy enter your life if you haven’t met him yet?
I definitely think you need to get to seminary right away. What is happening with your Midreshet Rachayl plans?April 27, 2017 8:52 am at 8:52 am #1263842ChaverParticipant
Keep more MitzvosApril 27, 2017 8:52 am at 8:52 am #1263843roshvrishonParticipant
why do you want to be more religious? is it because of a boy or your not happy with your own status? it it’s because of a boy then fuhgettaboutit. it’s not going to work. if it’s your own ambition that’s driving you than by all means, pick any advice that was given and fits with your style.April 27, 2017 10:04 am at 10:04 am #1263927ChaverParticipant
It is quite funny that you write that you think its wrong to talk to this guy but when you talk about meeting, you say that you will meet him Iy”hApril 27, 2017 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #1264878MammeleParticipantApril 27, 2017 7:34 pm at 7:34 pm #1264894
Mammele, I had responded to that comment here:
and Rebshidduch responded to my comment here:April 27, 2017 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #1264903
I don’t know if you ever saw those posts or if you did, if you understood what it was in reference to. I couldn’t write it next to yours because the thread was closed.April 27, 2017 8:04 pm at 8:04 pm #1264924☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
I agree with Mammele.April 27, 2017 8:29 pm at 8:29 pm #1264930LightbriteParticipant
It sounds like RebShidduch is ambivalent right now. She can have mixed feelings. It may not be logical but it’s possible to feel this way and that way, and go back and forth trying to resolve the cognitive dissonance.
Has no one ever been torn?
And/or maybe with this guy she is looking for, perhaps subconsciously, contradictory qualities:
Like some bochurim are looking for a wife that is this and that, but this and that usually don’t go together in one person.
As explained in Dr. Benzion Sorotzkin’s Finding The Bashert: Why Is It So Difficult To Hear The Bas Kol?
Thank you 🙂
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