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So, my great granddaughter is graduating H.S. soon, and b”H the shadchanim are calling.
My granddaughter tells me that one boy sounds very interesting. He went to all the right yeshivos (Brisk), is a big masmid, a big lamdan, has good middos, and most importantly, his father, who is a big Rosh Hayeshiva, is very wealthy, so my grandchildren will only have to put down $400k instead of the usual $500k.
Here’s the issue. Since he’s such a big masmid, he doesn’t want to waste his time on a shidduch that isn’t nogeia l’maaseh, and he’s makpid on looks, l’shem shomayim of course. Plus, his mother wants to be able to show off her kallah to all her friends. So, they’re asking for a picture. Problem is, I’m b’shittah against it (ayein other threads), and my granddaughter and her husband agree.
So my idea is to put a picture of a famous celebrity (of course made tzniusdig) in the resume.
Here’s the kuntz – if they say, “That’s not your daughter, that’s so-and-so!”, we’ll know it’s not for us. We don’t want to get involved with a family so steeped in goyish culture, r”l!
If they go ahead with it, great, and if they say, “Hey, that wasn’t her in the picture!”, they’ll just answer, “We told you the picture doesn’t do our daughter justice!”.
What do you think?
Midvar sheker tirchak
I think… you’re not an 80 year old! LOL
Daas Yochid I would be interested in marrying ur great-grand daughter, if things don’t work out of course
DY, u think I do?
No celebrity is tznius, so any photo you send will be lifnei iver.
Chag Purim is coming soon.
Lior
Maybe if her great grandfather is lying its mevarer that it might not be lifnei iver…
If you’re photoshopping anyways, you don’t need a celebrity photo. Just start out with her own photo and photoshop out her baldspots, all her birthmarks, wrinkles, pimples, dimples and thin out her stomach by taking off 150 pounds.
Since when does a celebrity have Chein?
Let me know where you can find a tznius celebrity photo. I’ve never seen one. Great Gramps – In your day this question never came up because Mathew Brady could only take so many photos. Of course tznius wasn’t a problem back then.
What do your shuffelboard players have to say about this?
Haleivi – Shirley Temple did. Lots!
DaasYochid -Everything that Mathew did was above board – no photo shopping or gimicks. The goshe maidlach have too much exposed to show chein.
Don’t your shuffleboard players have any great or great great grandsons for you maidel? Knowing your yichus would make a photo unnecessary. They would marry her for the yichus (and your wealth) regardless of how she looked.
$400K??????
“because a picture doesn’t show chein”
which is a good thing, since sheker hachein.
Outside of real Yeshivish circles, in the last few years, I havent seen a girl get a date, unless shes willing to give a picture, if asked. If the girl doesnt give a picture, they’ll find many other pretty great quality girls who will.
Is it right? Maybe not. Lots of things in the world are wrong.
If you feel so strongly about it, tell a well known R”Y to make a new Psak, and say its assur to ask for pictures.
You only hurt yourself if you dont give a picture when asked. Unless you want to wait and wait and wait… which is not good.
DY,
Whatever you call yourself- if any girl gets dates without offering a picture, whats the problem?
If any girl doesnt get dates, its a problem.
Showing someone else’s picture is not dishonest? You say they’re not for you–well,, they could easily say you’re not for them, and if gets around, you may hurt her shidduch chances
Is your great granddaughter ready to get married- or is she being told shes ready- afterall she hasnt even graduated yet…
Im glad you are equating taking caution of driving a car to raising a family, caring for a husband and having a job!
Have you asked her if she is comfertable having her picture sent out to guys? Maybe she thinks its the right things to do…?
At first, this would be l’maaseh a nafka minah if giving a picture is assur or ein roy l’asos (translation: Roy shouldn’t do it).
If it is assur, then ein issur chal al issur. If not, then it’s an issur of sheker.
However, after much hisboddus (translation: long work day), I think it is like this. The issur is to give your granddaughter’s picture, not another woman’s picture. And if you want to say it is being nikshal the people, that is only on the tzad they don’t recognize the person – because if they do then they have internet and know celebrities and lifnei es deightee there is no issur and it will be mavir if the shidduch is bad – a tzroech gadol. And even if they don’t recognize the photo, therefore a potential nikshal of seeing the picture, there is no problem of lifnei ever because maybe they are being somech that giving pictures is only not fitting, not mamish an issur.
Therefore, you have to what to rely on cosidering the hefsid meruabah. B’frat, your granddaaughter is in time of the shidduch crisis -so it’s a horaas shaa. M’stama. About the din sheker, some say that since photoshoping is so common then like parve creamer with chicken it loses the issue.
Another point added in another thread is if what is usually considered trolling is allowed from Tu B’shevat or only until Purim. Even if allowed, from when? Considering, DY posted this 22 hours ago b’erech 8:30-9pm EST that is Tu B’Shevat even on the west coast it’s after shkiyah. However, in Hawaii – it was still the 14th of Shevat. The question is it based on the poster or since a forum is accessible in the whole world – every place must be tu b’shevat. Accordingly, DY might still have the din of a troll. But the olam seems mekal from Rosh Chodesh Shevat – relying on the opinion of Bais Shammai.
DY- I sincerely hope this whole thread is a joke then 🙂
Outside of real Yeshivish circles, in the last few years, I havent seen a girl get a date, unless shes willing to give a picture, if asked. If the girl doesnt give a picture, they’ll find many other pretty great quality girls who will.
I’m far from yeshivish and when I was in shidduchim, between 2-3 years ago, I was even further from yeshivish. I refused to send in a picture. All my more yeshivish friends sent in pictures because they were afraid of staying single forever but I told the shadchanim if the guy cannot go on a date without seeing a picture first then I’ll find someone else. I refused to degrade myself by reducing my worth to a picture. Besides, even if the guy would get the picture and say no to a date, there’s no guarantee that he’s getting rid of the picture.
I’m married now btw. I met my husband through a shadchan who recommended I send in a picture.
I want to know how the Rosh Yeshiva got his money (other than from Hashem).
DY you make an excellent part time troll, congrats in this very funny thread.
The bochor should be asking for a picture of the girl’s mother so that he’ll know what the girl will look like in 17-20 years.
Why stop at the mother? He should ask for a picture of Mrs. DY, the great grandmother. Or better yet, all four great grandmothers.
Yofi is in the eyes of the beholder.
All kidding aside: Any recommendations for a mother who’s son won’t consider a shidduch till he sees a pic??
He would either get a picture on his own or he won’t go into the shidduch.
you ain’t old enough to have a great granddaughter on the shelf!!!
anyway pictures are narishkeiten!!! i would send a picture of a stranger (whats a celebrity?;-))
DY:
I’m TOTALLY with you on this one. (maybe others too, I don’t live HERE the way I used to..)
People, when starting out on shidduchim always quote the gemarrah “whoever marries for money etc…”, and then they quickly forget there is a Ribbono Shel Olam, and turn the process into a street market bargaining affair. How one side could get the most money… How much each (precious) bachur is “worth”. Get that! We’re not dealing with people, personalities, it’s all a financial assessment. What the Gemarah says about a ben chorin – ayn lo damim – suddenly applies no more!!! This (again, Tiereh) bocher is worth $1,000,000, to apply submit a photo of the other (nebach) object… will assess the financial portfolio…
I have but one word for it – FEH!!
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