How to end a Shidduch meeting!

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    Tzvi Hirsh

    What is the proper way to conclude a Shidduch meeting if you want to meet again or if you dont want to continue!!


    Honesty is the best policy.


    Thank the person nicely for the time they spent in the meeting and say good night. Very simple.


    Look at your watch and say:

    Wow it looks like its getting late

    I think well end it at that

    It was very nice meeting you

    thank you so much for your time

    Have a great night


    Never mention on the date whether you want to see each other or not. Just thank them for the time, wish them a good night, and that’s that. Deal with the “what’s next” question with the Shadchan only.

    Think first

    If you don’t want to continue, say thank you have a good night. It’s important not to say something that leads ur date to think you enjoyed if you didnt, at the same time one should be respectful.

    If you enjoyed, tell ur date! “hey I just want you to know that I really enjoyed spending time with you” or in your own words.. Point is if you enjoyed tell them so they know, this helps decisions and it’s more personal than hearing it from the Shadchan “he/she enjoyed the date.”


    I feel like it’s bribery to tell the other person that you enjoyed. Once she hears from him that he enjoyed, she feels an obligation to go out again. And vice versa.

    Just say good night and each side should be able to make a personal decision independent of the other. And this is besides that it shouldn’t be a spur of the moment decision.


    Bribery is such a strong word… What if one person really did enjoy it, and actually wants a second date? Even if the other person didn’t think to go out on another date, what’s bribery about asking someone to give you a second chance? Maybe that person was very nervous and just needed to loosen up a bit, which is easier on the second date.


    There’s nothing wrong with (verbal) bribery, if you’re sure you want to go out again.


    Chemistry isn’t a reason to go out again. I don’t see how you can be sure without having thought it through.

    I feel like even if feels the other is from Loserville they will feel obligated to go out again even if they know there’s no future.

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