Inappropriate intermingling at Chasunas 💃🍸🍷🕺

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    Jj2020 it’s a very strong yetzer hara and the yetzer hara doesn’t need logic all he does is convinces us that the more not tznius we are the more fun it is. As you can clearly see he is doing a great job its not just me who really enjoys being very not tznius its everyone else
    Bottom line the reason we dress very not tznius its not to kill others. its just the yetzer hara is very strong. if anything instead of saying we dress to kill why not doven for us girls that we should win this battle and enjoy being tznius


    M gold

    Modesty: he convince you that it must be deep deep that your doing because of that
    Because if you would be alone on a island you would of never do it.



    Modesty – recognizing it is half the battle so your at least half way there. Davening is more productive.



    Some of you treat the “yetzer horah” as some type of living, active and uncontrollable force in our lives separate from our mainstream existence. Yes, we have urges of all types, both spiritual and physical, that may not be good for us but we also have the strength and discipline in most cases to push back on most, albeit not all, of these urges. We know not to start eating ice cream directly from the quart container, lest we end up eating most of it. Rather we dole out a small portion in a cup to discipline our culinary gluttony. Likewise, we don’t willingly set ourselves up to be alone with a woman not our wives on a business trip to avoid both inappropriate business outcomes, but more importantly, our spiritual geder that shields us from what some might call the siren song of our yetzer horah. Do we always show such strength….obviously not but most of us seem to have won the large percentage of these battles w/o making the looming shadow of a yetzer horah the overriding focus of our daily lives.


    Avi K

    Yitzchokm, was there mixed seating at the frum weddings in Woodstock? Did it lead to problems?

    Joseph, your posts beg for leitzanut.


    A “blorit” (“bloris” for those of Ashkenazic descent),
    also known as a “tchup,” is… I don’t know the word.
    It’s the hair at the front of a man’s head, grown out and styled upward.



    My point is that its a very hard challenge that we face in this generation and saying that when we dress very not tznius we are dressing to kill is being very insensitive
    And that alone makes it even more difficult for us to work hard on improving something that desperately needs improvement



    Not dressed to kill. Only dressed to wound.
    as I’ve posted on another thread, men looking or not is a halbe tzureh, at best a shvus. An immodestly dressed woman is oiver an issur D’Oraisah of lifnei iver regardless of whether or not men look or have, C”S, improper thoughts.


    The phrase “dressed to kill” was not created by modern-day Jewish moralists.
    It’s been around for quite a while, and means, according to Google dictionary,
    “wearing glamorous clothes intended to create a striking impression.”


    Rex, does anyone *not* know that?


    Lilmod Ulelamaid

    Random3x – thanks so much! I had wanted to point that out… I didn’t know the exact meaning, but I wanted to point out that: a)it’s an expression and not meant literally, and b) it wasn’t created by Frum people and isn’t necessarily meant the way people are understanding it.


    I may be the king of stating the obvious, but Modesty did sound to me as though she didn’t.



    (I didn’t put in that smiley, and yet there’s no record of the post being edited. Interesting.)




    Nice one.


    Thanks, RebYidd.



    I dunno


    Lilmod Ulelamaid

    btw, even if you were to take the expression, “dressed to kill’ literally, it’s “dressed to kill” and not “dressing to kill”.

    In other words, it doesn’t mean that the person is deliberately DRESSING to kill, but rather that the way she is DRESSED kills whether it was intentional or not.



    Lilmod – good point. I think though that girls know exactly what they are doing when they get dressed. They aren’t spending an hour getting dressed for a chasuna and not knowing what they are doing.



    JJ, if they know what they’re doing before they do it, why are they doing it? Are so many girls really that crude and come to chasunas dressed like that to cause sin?



    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Very good point



    Joseph- they are doing it because Hashem made women that they have a very deep desire to to be desired to be wanted and to be loved. True they aren’t going to really get what they really want. But this is how Hahshem made women. This should be used for the husband but there is a yetzer horah. He changes or focus and makes excuses and justifications. The girls look in the mirror for half an hour at every part and see that everything is just perfect. Try want to be looked at.

    Likewise Hashem made men that they want to look etc. This too is to be used in marriage and that’s is how it should be and is good when used properly. But again the yetzer horah tries to get men to misuse this.

    Anyone who does an aveira is overcome by a ruach shtus. The yetzer provides all the excuses and justifications. Oh this reberzen wears this type of thing. Oh these 6inch heals are so comfortable. Tight is so much more comfortable so what if I have to take little steps bc I can’t move my legs.

    A great speaker makes his speech look like he is just talking off the top of his head. He is able bc he practiced for hours. You don’t look dressed to kill by accident. It took hours of shopping and thinking and comparing to get it just right.

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