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“I couldn’t see well enough to play when I was a boy, so they gave me a special job – they made me the umpire.”
-President Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt
regarding baseball
Well while we’re on the subject of computers:
“Keyboard not detected- press F1 to continue.” – a REAL message from Windows ME
im a computer-quote fan:
“If a trainstation is where the train stops, what’s a workstation…?”
“What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.”
“Who’s General Failure and why’s he reading my disk?”
“Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.”
If the Opposite of pro is con, then is the Opposite of progess congress?
“The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.” -Hubert Humphrey
And since we seem to be posting scientific stuff…
“The IPCC also finally nails the canard of the climate sceptics who argue that global warming is a myth or the result of natural climate variability; natural factors alone cannot account for the observed warming, the IPCC says. These changes took place at a time when non-anthropogenic forcing factors (i.e. the sum of solar and volcanic forcing) would be expected to have produced cooling, not warming.” -The Independent
since we are quoting senators:
-Senator Inhohe (R-Oklahoma), Chair of the Senate Committee on the Environment-
of course why should we believe Global Warming to be a hoax or wildly exaggerated. when something is accepted by the scientific and legislative authorities in general it must be true.
remember the “population explosion”
“The battle to feed humanity is over. In the 1970s, the world will undergo widespread famines. Hundreds of millions of people are going to starve to death in spite of any crash programs embarked upon now. Population control is the only answer”
— Paul Ehrlich – The Population Bomb (1968)
” i am not a feminist, but i do want to say that there are various sources in the gemara/medrashim that state that man will never be complete without a wife (i dont know the exact places, i heard this at an aufruf).”
Yes, it is true that men are not compelte until they get married.
And then, they are absolutely finished!
(sorry, could not resist, this was calling to me).
“Everything that can be invented has been invented.”
-Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. patent office, 1899 (proposing that the patent office be disbanded).
“I’m glad I’m not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin, you never know if someone’s tape-recording what you say”.
– Richard M. Nixon
“How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? French fries.”
-James French (executed in the electric chair)
“I am loyal to my employer at all costs… please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”
-On a cover letter
“Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about”.
-Green’s law of debate (hmmm… was Green a YW moderator?)
“Smile. Tomorrow will be worse.”
-Murphy’s philosophy
Feivel,
Do you spend alot of time browsing fundamentilist cristain web sites?
“I don’t know anyone who knows. Anyone who does know doesn’t say, and anyone who says doesn’t know.”
just heard it at a class. if anyone knows if it’s a real quote or if there’s a source, let me know.
Those who can, do. Those who can’t, usually insist on doing it themselves anyway, and mess up the plumbing, the electricity, and all household repairs.
MARK TWAIN classics:
–“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress; but I repeat myself.”
–One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
–“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
–To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I’ve done it a thousand times.
–“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”
–“The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.” (reminds me of the story of the little boy who goes to shul but duznt know how to daven, so he just talks to Hashem…this is better than any tefilah some ppl sadly just say by rote!)
Nedarim 66a
(Shidduch Priorities)
“What is at stake is not the validity of the Darwinian theory itself, but of the approach to science that it has come to represent. The peculiar form of consensus the theory wields has produced a premature closure of inquiry in several branches of biology, and even if this is to be expected in `normal science,’ such a dogmatic approach does not appear healthy.”
R. Brady, “Dogma and Doubt,” Biological Journal of the Linnean Society, 17:79, 96 (1982)
Kenneth J. Hsu, PhD “Sedimentary Petrology and Biologic Evolution,” Journal of Sedimentary Petrology 56 (September 1986): p730.
“The police are not here to create disorder, they’re here to preserve disorder.”
Deceased mayor of chicago, richard j daley
brooklyn: It is indeed a real quote that I have heard applied to many different things. It certainly applies to the coming of moshiach.
“The vast majority of artist’s conceptions are based more on imagination than on evidence..Artists must create something between an ape and a human being; the older the specimen is said to be, the more ape-like they make it.”
-Science Digest, April 1981 pg 41.
“The main problem in reconstructing the origins of man is lack of fossil evidence: all there is could be displayed on a dinner table.”
– New Scientist 20 May 1982 pg 491.-
Dec. 7 is the 67th anniversary of the Pearl Harbor attack.
Here are a few memorable quotes from that day and its eventual aftermath:
“I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.”
-Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto, architect of the Pearl Harbor sneak attack
“Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941 – a date which will live in infamy – the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.”
-President Franklin D. Roosevelt
-Captain Paul Tibbets, pilot of the Enola Gay
-Captain Robert Lewis, copilot of the Enola Gay
feivel and 000646, can you fight this out somewhere else? and 000646, the fundamentalist christian remark was below the belt.
and Bais Yaakov maydel, a man is incomplete without a wife and a woman is incomplete without a husband.
“I know life isn’t fair, but why can’t it ever be unfair in my favor?”
-Bill Watterson, authir of the one and only Calvin & Hobbes
I find Feivel’s quotes quite inspiring.
Joseph,
If you would google the vast majority of those qoutes and read them in the context they were said you would probably find them exteremley UNinspiring,
twisting around what people say to try and make them seem to be saying somthing you find inspiring when most of the time they werent trying to say it is dishonest, and it is more befitting for fundamentalist cristains to do these things then frum jews
Feivel, please continue to inspire us, the teenagers comments notwithstanding (he’ll eventually grow up.)
“There is no publication in the scientific literature in prestigious journals, specialty journals, or books that describes how molecular evolution of any real, complex, biochemical system either did occur or even might have occurred. There are assertions that such evolution occurred, but absolutely none are supported by pertinent experiments or calculations.”
-Behe, Michael J. (1996), Darwin’s Black Box, The Free Press, p. 185-
“Biologists must constantly keep in mind that what they see was not designed, but rather evolved.”
-(Crick F.H.C., [Co-discoverer of the structure of DNA, Nobel laureate 1962, Professor at the Salk Institute, USA]
“In China its O.K. to criticize Darwin but not the government, while in the United States its O.K. to criticize the government, but not Darwin.”
Chinese Paleontologist Dr. J.Y. Chen
ABOUT JEWS
By Mark Twain
If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one quarter of one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of stardust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly, the Jew ought hardly to be heard of; but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk.
His contributions to the world’s list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine and abstruse learning are very out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers. He has made a marvelous fight in this world in all ages; and has done it with his hands tied behind him. He could be vain of himself and be excused for it. The Egyptians, the Babylonians and the Persians rose, filled the planet with sound and splendour; then faded to dream-stuff and passed away: the Greeks and the Romans followed and made a vast noise, and they are gone; other peoples have sprung up and held their torch high for a time but it burned out, and they sit in twilight now, or have vanished.
The Jew saw them all, survived them all, and is now what he always was, exhibiting no decadence, no infirmities of age, no weakening of his parts, no slowing of his energies, no dulling of his alert and aggressive mind. All things are mortal but the Jew; all other forces pass, but he remains. What is the secret of his immortality?
The above was written by Mark Twain and first published in HARPER’S magazine, September 1887.
Ronald Reagan:
If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.
Freedom prospers when religion is vibrant and the rule of law under God is acknowledged.
We are never defeated unless we give up on God.
I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.
If the federal government had been around when the Creator was putting His hand to this state, Indiana wouldn’t be here. It’d still be waiting for an environmental impact statement.
I know in my heart that man is good. That what is right will always eventually triumph. And there’s purpose and worth to each and every life.
Without God, democracy will not and cannot long endure.
Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men face.
We have the duty to protect the life of an unborn child.
We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.
We might come closer to balancing the Budget if all of us lived closer to the Commandments and the Golden Rule.
A people free to choose will always choose peace.
All great change in America begins at the dinner table.
Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.
My philosophy of life is that if we make up our mind what we are going to make of our lives, then work hard toward that goal, we never lose – somehow we win out.
If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen.
Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets.
Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today’s world do not have.
Approximately 80% of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let’s not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emission standards from man-made sources.
I’ve never been able to understand why a Republican contributor is a ‘fat cat’ and a Democratic contributor of the same amount of money is a ‘public-spirited philanthropist’.
Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.
Don’t be afraid to see what you see.
Entrepreneurs and their small enterprises are responsible for almost all the economic growth in the United States.
Facts are stubborn things.
Man is not free unless government is limited.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.
The problem is not that people are taxed too little, the problem is that government spends too much.
The taxpayer – that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.
Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them.
Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.
Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
Governments tend not to solve problems, only to rearrange them.
No government ever voluntarily reduces itself in size. Government programs, once launched, never disappear. Actually, a government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we’ll ever see on this earth!
It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.
Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong.
Heroes may not be braver than anyone else. They’re just braver five minutes longer.
History teaches that war begins when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap.
Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall!
My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.
How do you tell a communist? Well, it’s someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It’s someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
I call upon the scientific community in our country, those who gave us nuclear weapons, to turn their great talents now to the cause of mankind and world peace: to give us the means of rendering these nuclear weapons impotent and obsolete.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.
If the Soviet Union let another political party come into existence, they would still be a one-party state, because everybody would join the other party.
The difference between united and untied is where you put the “i”
Rabbi C.P.Scheinberg
EVERY RULE HAS AN EXCEPTION EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE
now THAT was inspiring, Joseph. (the MT one)
“Winners never quit; quitters never win.” –thats somewhere in Yankee Stadium
“Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.”
“Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind.” -JFK
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” -JFK
“When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” -FDR
“You cannot shake hands with a ckenched fist.” -Indira Gandhi
“The power to question is the basis of all human progress.” –Indira Gandhi
“He who angers you conquers you.” -Elizabeth Kenny
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; some whenever they go.” -Oscar Wilde
“‘He means well’ is useless unless he does well.” -Plautus (min hakoach el hapoel…)
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that dont work.” -Thomas A. Edison
“The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.” -Ben Franklin
“There are two kinds of people, those who do the work, and those who get the credit. Try to be in the first group; theres less competition there.”
“A boy doesnt have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesnt like pie when he sees there isnt enough to go around.” -Edward W. Howe
“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the conflict.” -Thomas Paine
“It require wisdom to understand wisdom. The music is nothing if the audience is deaf.” -Walter Lippman
“The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.” -Jean Paul
“you can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his answers.” -Mahfouz Naguib
“An exoert is someone who knows more and more about less and less until eventually, he knows everything about nothing.” -Anon
“Challenges are make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”
“Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.” -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“there is still no cure for the common birthday.” -John Glenn
“One that would have the fruit must climb the tree.” -Thomas Fuller
“Experience is not what happens to you; its what you do with what happens to you.” -Aldous Huxley
“Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people are clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.” -Walter kerr
“Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open.” -Lord Thomas Dewar
“Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. its the other two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.” -Lilt Tomlin
“The pure ans simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.” -Oscar Wilde
“When all men think alike, no one thinks very much.” -Walter Lippman
“The difference between a boss and a leader: a boss says ‘Go!’ a leader says ‘Let’s go!'” -E.M. Kelly
“One of the reasons I started taking this anti-evolutionary view, was … it struck me that I had been working on this stuff for twenty years and there was not one thing I knew about it. That’s quite a shock to learn that one can be so misled so long. …so for the last few weeks I’ve tried putting a simple question to various people and groups of people. Question is: Can you tell me anything you know about evolution, any one thing that is true? I tried that question on the geology staff at the Field Museum of Natural History and the only answer I got was silence. I tried it on the members of the Evolutionary Morphology Seminar in the University of Chicago, a very prestigious body of evolutionists, and all I got there was silence for a long time and eventually one person said, ‘I do know one thing — it ought not to be taught in high school’.”
-Dr. Colin Patterson, Senior Palaeontologist; British Museum of Natural History, London-
“Thus when not so long ago, Kenyon explained his views on Intelligent Design to his introductory biology course, his department used this as a pretext to remove him from teaching introductory biology and to relegate him to supervising lab experiments–this even though he was a senior faculty member.
Every review committee confirmed that Kenyon’s department had violated his academic freedom.
It took three meetings of successively more weighty academic review committees at his institution to lean on the biology department sufficiently to reinstate Kenyon’s right to teach introductory biology, and this only after another Design theorist, Stephen Meyer, wrote an op-ed piece for the Wall Street Journal detailing Kenyon’s treatment at the hands of his department.”
-Dembski, William A. 1998-
“Evolutionism is a fairy tale for grown-ups. It has helped nothing in the progress of science.”
-Professor Louis Bouroune, former Director of the Strasbourg Zoological Museum-
“If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder by the year 2000…This is about twice what it would take to put us in an ice age.”
— Kenneth E.F. Watt, Earth Day (1970)–
If you fight fire with fire, you’ll just make the fire bigger” (or something like that)
-Lemony Snicket
[contributed]
– John Adams, Second President of the United States
(From a letter to F. A. Van der Kemp [Feb. 16, 1808] Pennsylvania Historical Society)
– U.S. President Woodrow Wilson in his The State
– Friedrich Nietzsche
German Philosopher (1844 – 1900)
mw13- i think its “if you fight fire with fire you’ll end up with ashes”
variation on the famous “he who laughs last laughs best”,
“he who laughs last thinks slowest”
I just heard this line and appreciated it:
“Everything will be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.”
Rav Yaakov Kamenetzky ZT’L at the unveiling of the matzeivah at the gravesite of the Satmar Rebbe ZT’L , one week after his passing:
“When an era closes, there is always a danger that the succeeding generations will be oblivious to the values and special character of their predecessors. Thus G-d often grants one exemplary member of the preceding era longevity, to permit him to teach the next generation how the old generation lived – by his mere presence. Thus did Rabbi Yehudah Hanassi – who closed the era of the Tannaim by writing the Mishnah – continue to ‘frequent his home’ for decades after his passing; and Rabbi Yochanan, who compiled the Jerusalem Talmud, lived for hundreds of years…; and thus did the Satmar Rav grace our generation with a greatness in scholarship and piety that had been identified with the glory of days gone by.”
Joseph: wow that was something!!!
“if at first u dont succeed…skydiving is not for u”
“snowflakes are one of lifes most fragile things, but look what they can do when they stick together”
“the world cant end today its already tomorrow in australia”
“a real freind will come visit u in prison…a true freind will be sitting next to you saying…darn we messed up”
these are at the top of my list (I’m a big fan of inspiring/sharp quotes):
“It aint over till the fat lady sings”
“My kids think I’m an ATM”
“Jack of all trades… master of none”
this is my fav, so even though noitallmr said it already…
“Money talks… mine keeps saying Goodbye”
keep em comin…
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