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what are good ways to teach my children about the dangers of the internet w/o exposing them to those same dangers?
Talking about danger is not the same as exposing to danger. You can talk to kids about the dangers of drugs without exposing them to drugs. You can talk to your kids about the danger of pornography without exposing them.
Acknowledge the positives while clearly stating the risks of unrestricted use, both in terms of the “physical” risks to their privacy and economic well being, but more importantly, to their spiritual and moral well being. If you simply dismiss the entirety of the internet and online sources of information and services as “evil” your warnings themselves may be dismissed as not credible by the younger generation (and ignored) versus presenting it as a tool to be used responsibly.l
I think I understand what he is saying. Talking about an issur creates a yetzer hara of curiosity to experience it. When we become older, we become more knowledgeable as the Torah admonishes us השמרו לכם פן יפתה לבבכם guard yourself that your heart should not attract you. When everything is good, we might forget who provided that to us and think כחי ועוצם ידי that my own strength contributed to it.
Drugs might be different as it is not readily available. So may be just protect the device from getting into wrong places.what is intrenet?
Assuming you are not a hermit living (and raising a family) in a remote area “off the grid”, you would teach them about the internet the same way you teach them about everything in the real world. Olam ha-zeh is the problem.
How do you teach kids to avoid any other yatzer hora? You shower them with the beauty of torah and mitzvos, and show them that you’re happy, even when you’re not; here and there you drop in lines about how we’re so fortunate, and that the goyim don’t have this beautiful torah…they spend all their time wasting away in front of screens and convince themselves that they’re enjoying life. Stressing over and over that something is assur doesn’t do the trick; it doesn’t work for lashon hora, tznius, bitul torah, or any other “biggie”
When I got into learning, I didn’t have a yatzer hora for internet, movies, etc…it was all empty and unappealing. If you get boys into learning, and girls into chessed, your work is 90% done.
Telling them stories about how you know people (we all do) who lost everything; their families, their jobs, their community standing, because of sins associated with the internet – even before I was a torah jew, I never had a yatzer hora for drugs because my parents taught me that if you take drugs you end up a homeless nebach.
but that’s all the secondary line of offense; the main thing is what I said in my first post
get a unfilered net and show all, then say dont do it
“[Goyim] spend all their time wasting away in front of screens and convince themselves that they’re enjoying life.
You need to find some new goyishe friends. Those that I know are NOT “wasting away” and most ARE enjoying life albeit a very different life then is our mesorah. I agree with your general theme of stressing to the kids the positives of a torah-based lifestyle but it can be done without such a shallow and superficial view of others.
Uh, do you guys realize that you’re ON the internet?
I was told by someone who was teaching at a modern school, that showing impressive videos of drug abuse did not improve morale but dramatically increased knowledge level of the those students who were not aware before that.
I would suggest modeling positive internet usage before the kids get to their own. They should see you using a big-screen computer in an open space with your screen visible to others; using it to find information, work, access Jewish learning resources. Then, let them help you.
Aaq, what about just using it for business and not having it at home at all, and sending your kids to schools which are the same, so that they don’t just go to their friends’ houses?
Several of the above posts acknowledge that there are very real and practical ways of limiting internet usage and minimizing the risks of whatever usage is determined necessary for both educational and vocational purposes. For some, there will be NO allowable options and that will be their choice but total abstinence might not be a good long-term strategy versus teaching your kids responsible usage.
Avira > What about just using it for business and not having it at home at all,
I think it is fair if this works for you. I do prefer to work from home as much as I can, so that I can model (hopefully) proper behaviors to kids and also learn with them. And I had to deal with some inappropriate internet usage with older kids, so was thinking for a time to go the way you describe, but it evened out and younger ones do not seem to have these issues, bli ayn hara, maybe because they see the older ones.
The downside of your approach is lack of proficiency in skills that their generation will be using. Internet is not like TV that will quickly go away, it has sufficient positive content. At some point, humanity, and Yidden in particular, will figure out how to filter out the wrong parts. Maybe, we can re-use Chinese firewall software, I hear it works to keep 1 bln people under control ..
So, I don’t want the kids to start typing with one finger when they are 20 and not being able to distinguish between a research paper and a facebook post. So, this is not just part of the mitzva of giving them a job skill, but also of teaching them swimming (in life).
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