Inviting Non-Jewish Co-Workers To A Simcha?

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  • #1144063
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Thanks Wolf. It does matter. I’m pretty sure you, GAW and Squeak read my posts.

    #1144064
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Thanks Wolf. It does matter. I’m pretty sure you, GAW and Squeak read my posts.

    Officially marking this as “read.” 🙂

    The (reading) Wolf

    #1144065
    cherrybim
    Participant

    “he is Rabbi Haskel Lookstein… And he was backed up by Dayan Michael Broyde who cited the Tzitz Eliezer.”

    charliehall – Are you telling us that Haskel asked a shaila of Dayan Broyde whether he could attend the Church service?

    #1144066
    minyan gal
    Member

    Perhaps MosheRose should spend less time concerning himself about whom I choose to be friendly with and more time concentrating on his spelling and punctuation. I don’t believe he has been using alternate screennames because I can’t recall seeing any that have been as poorly spelled or with so many punctuation errors. I think that he took a vacation from the CR or that he was merely lurking without posting.

    #1144067
    so right
    Member

    Areivim zeh l’zeh is of greater importance than spelling.

    #1144068

    Cherrybim:

    Have a little respect and call him Rabbi Haskel. No one likes it when someone would say (Rabbi) Moshe Feinstein without the title. I am not saying that R’ Haskel is in the same league as R’ Moshe, but he is definitely deserving of your, mine, and others respect unless you know definitively otherwise.

    #1144069
    cherrybim
    Participant

    I know otherwise, but I would definitively call his father zl Rabbi Lookstein.

    YOU want to call him Rav Haskel? Take a look and kvell:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/speakingoffaith/3216987891/

    #1144070
    Helpful
    Member

    Isn’t that the Church attending rabbi? So Professor Broyde wants to justify going to a church service in the cathedral in front of a cross?

    #1144071

    The above re Rabbi Lookstein was covered in The Bourbon Room on the ObamaWorld.com website during a discussion in their forum on whether or not Obama should/could invite a Jew to his inaguration.

    #1144072
    mik5
    Participant

    Not allowed to invite a goy to a yom tov seuda, according to Rabbi S.B. Cohen’s sefer on the laws of yom tov.

    If he comes without being invited, it’s OK because you won’t feel obligated to prepare anything special for him.

    The Shulchan Aruch (512:1) rules that one may not invite a gentile to one’s home for a Yom Tov meal. Although Halacha allows cooking on Yom Tov, one may cook on Yom Tov only for Jews; it is forbidden to cook food on Yom Tov for gentiles. The Sages therefore forbade inviting a gentile to one’s home for a Yom Tov meal, as he might then prepare food for him in violation of Halacha. Whoever says otherwise is arguing on the Shulchan Aruch.

    #1144073

    we had an almost-ger at our house for many many meals over a couple years and if I remember correctly he used to come over before shabbos and make a kinyan on something i was cooking. don’t remember why at the moment….and im not sure it even makes any sense.

    #1144074
    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    Interesting day for this 5 year old thread to be resurrected………

    I’ve just read the entire thread and will return to the original question.

    I am marrying off child number 3 in the next two weeks. There will be non-Jews invited to the simcha. I have a small law firm and my child and the new spouse will be new associates. How could I possibly exclude the 3 non-Jewish firm employees while inviting the rest of the firm? No way if I want to keep a harmonious business atmosphere. The non-Jewish employees/partner handle the requirements of a law practice that occur on Shabbos and Yuntif. My child (mid 20s) knows all 3 from birth. They have been at both sons’ B’nai Mitvah, and weddings, and both my parents funerals. No, they were not at brisim, because they occurred in shul. They know how to dress and what is appropriate behavior and speech…which is more than I can say for some of the non-observant but Jewish relations and neighbors who must also be invited to some of these things.

    I have been honored with invitations to many of their family events. I do not attend anything at a church, and they understand why. They have gone out of their way to order meals from the kosher caterer so my wife and I could be included. Never have we been subjected to the kind of inappropriate behavior at one of their functions as we encountered and walked out of at non-frum ‘kosher catered’ Jewish simchas.

    #1144075
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    The Shulchan Aruch (512:1) rules that one may not invite a gentile to one’s home for a Yom Tov meal. Although Halacha allows cooking on Yom Tov, one may cook on Yom Tov only for Jews; it is forbidden to cook food on Yom Tov for gentiles. The Sages therefore forbade inviting a gentile to one’s home for a Yom Tov meal, as he might then prepare food for him in violation of Halacha. Whoever says otherwise is arguing on the Shulchan Aruch.

    What if there is a mixed couple and the wife is jewish and the Kids are jewish. You want to try to mekarev them, but the only way you will get them to come is also invite the non-jewish husband.

    #1144076
    Abba_S
    Participant

    As far as inviting a Jewish family that one of it’s members is non-Jewish, and you are trying to get them more religious, you should ask a Rav.

    AS far as the Ger in training he acquires the food before Yom Tov or Shabbos so that you are not cooking more food because of him.

    This happens when you invite the elderly for a meal on Yom Tov and they have a home health aide.

    #1144077

    What if there is a mixed couple and the wife is jewish and the Kids are jewish. You want to try to mekarev them, but the only way you will get them to come is also invite the non-jewish husband.

    Think about which religion you want to be mekarev them to, and whether your actions are consistent with that religion.

    #1144078

    AS far as the Ger in training he acquires the food before Yom Tov or Shabbos so that you are not cooking more food because of him.

    How does that help for Yom Tov, and why is it necessary for Shabbos?

    #1144079
    Avi K
    Participant

    I heard that some poskim allow inviting non-Jews for Yom Tov if one does not cook at all on Yom Tov.

    Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach says that the custom of old was to invite non-Jewish dignitaries to the Pesach Seder. This was apparently important to promote good relations between the Jews and their non-Jewish neighbors or hosts (see Shulchan Shlomo, Yom Tov Vol. 1, p. 207, note 8). The Minchat Yitzchak (3:8) is lenient regarding people are in the process of becoming Jewish.

    #1144080
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Think about which religion you want to be mekarev them to, and whether your actions are consistent with that religion.

    So in other words if you have a family of 4. 2 parents and 2 children and the only non jew is the father, it is not consistant to try to mekarav the 3 jewish members.

    You dont think chabad deals with this all the time especially in places where there are many non relgious jews many are intermarried?

    #1144081
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    I think we can agree that inviting a non-jewish male spouse is not the same case as inviting an average non-jew who might be your friend and its not the same as a home health care aid whom you might need to feed in order to get them to take care of your eldery parent

    #1144082

    I don’t know if that makes it muttar, perhaps it does.

    Do you have a source, or is this just the way you would like the halachah to be?

    #1144083
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    I dont have a source, but I have seen it done by frum people.

    I dont know if all asked a Shailah, but Im sure some did

    #1144084
    Yankel
    Member

    ZD: How do you know any asked a shaila? Just because they did it, doesn’t make it right.

    #1144085
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    ZD: How do you know any asked a shaila? Just because they did it, doesn’t make it right.

    I do know people who did ask a related shailas and they were allowed. These psaks were not given publically.

    Sometimes there are different psaks for different circumstances

    #1144086
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    DaasYochid and zahavasdad,

    Do you have a source

    I might get pilloried for suggesting an Artscroll book (kidding), but the issue of having non-Jews visit during Yom Tov is addressed in The Laws of Yom Tov by Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen. He is quite good with citing sources in the footnotes. Asking a shaila for the specific circumstances of one’s own case is very important as well.

    #1144087
    Abba_S
    Participant

    The reason you can’t invite a non-jew on Yom Tov is because you might add more food thereby increasing the cooking even though you are allowed to cook for a Jew. So if you transferred the food to the non Jew prior to Yom Tov you will not be cooking more food for him.

    I think the home health aide is similar to a Non-Jewish spouse in that it’s a package deal if you invite the family you must include the spouse, so to if you invite the senior you need to have the health aide also. Although, I have seen many health aides hanging outside while the family is eating the Shabbos meal.

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