December 19, 2011 3:37 am at 3:37 am #601185
Lots of guys in yeshiva tell chuck Norris jokes. Are these jokes mutar? You might have a hava amina to say its apikorses!! They also lead bochurim to unclean thoughts!!December 19, 2011 3:43 am at 3:43 am #950848cinderellaParticipant
It sounds like you already know the answer to that questionDecember 19, 2011 3:58 am at 3:58 am #950849
I just laughed for fifteen seconds straight.December 19, 2011 1:53 pm at 1:53 pm #950850
Chuck Norris jokes? Is he a comedian? I thought he was an actor (if you can call what he does acting).December 19, 2011 1:56 pm at 1:56 pm #950851soliekMember
im still laffing 😀December 19, 2011 2:01 pm at 2:01 pm #950852BTGuyParticipant
I think a fair litmus test to help answer your question would be if the guys would tell those jokes
if Chuck Norris, an individual who truly squared off against Bruce Lee, was in the same room. lolDecember 19, 2011 3:05 pm at 3:05 pm #950853MCPMember
There are no Chuck Norris jokes – they are all true.
Chuck Norris is Joseph, and all the Mods.December 19, 2011 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm #950854AinOhdMilvadoParticipant
Chuck Norris jokes???
Chuck Norris is a (real) high level black belt in karate and made several martial arts related movies and TV shows.
He is also known to have very straight, kosher (for a goy, of course) conservative, patriotic hashkafas.
How did he come to be the topic of jokes?
What IS a Chuck Norris joke?December 19, 2011 3:36 pm at 3:36 pm #950855Sam2Participant
I don’t think people actually believe it so it’s okay. Tim Tebow jokes, however, may be bordering on something.December 19, 2011 8:42 pm at 8:42 pm #950857
There should be a rule in yeshivos osuring such jokes due to the danger they pose to hailege bochurim who should be learning.December 19, 2011 8:55 pm at 8:55 pm #950858
…still laughing…December 19, 2011 9:02 pm at 9:02 pm #950859ZosHaTorahParticipant
Could somebody tell just one Chuck Norris joke here in this thread, so we have an example to help judge your question on?December 19, 2011 9:08 pm at 9:08 pm #950860Feif UnParticipant
Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
Superman can fly. But Chuck Norris can force him to land with a roundhouse kick.
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris’ elementary school report card.December 19, 2011 9:11 pm at 9:11 pm #950861soliekMember
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.December 19, 2011 9:25 pm at 9:25 pm #950863MDGParticipant
Little boys wear Superman pajamas.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.December 19, 2011 9:25 pm at 9:25 pm #950864zahavasdadParticipant
These “jokes” should be banned.
A Joke is supposed to be FUNNYDecember 19, 2011 9:25 pm at 9:25 pm #950865
Instead of Gelt this year, I think you should get a life.December 19, 2011 9:25 pm at 9:25 pm #950866cinderellaParticipant
The Chuck Norris jokes examples that Feif Un and soleik are giving are clean. There are also many disgusting, inappropriate Chuck Norris jokes. And no, I will not give an example.December 19, 2011 9:28 pm at 9:28 pm #950867yehudajMember
@soliek I am pretty sure you can divide by 0 , X/0= the limit of X/Y as Y approaches 0 to +/- infinityDecember 19, 2011 11:47 pm at 11:47 pm #950868
Optimus prime that is a perfect example of hurtful language and i am not mochel. Besides at least I don’t know the transformers theme song. Who needs a life now?December 20, 2011 12:20 am at 12:20 am #950869☕️coffee addictParticipant
that was uncalled for.December 20, 2011 2:18 am at 2:18 am #950870
Okay, seriously now – I’ve heard plenty of Chuck Norris jokes in my time, and none of them were objectionable. I can imagine how you could make them so, if you really wanted to…but how does apikorsus come into the picture?December 20, 2011 2:35 am at 2:35 am #950871
Some jokes put chuck Norris in the place of hashem which is mamesh apikorsis. It’s a sakaneh to every persons neshameh.December 20, 2011 2:54 am at 2:54 am #950872
Chuck Norris a diety? Now I’ve heard everything.December 20, 2011 3:27 am at 3:27 am #950873
Such jokes may be in extremely bad taste, but I’m not quite sure that they qualify as real apikorsus – bad case of leitzanus, maybe?
That aside, as I once said about “yo mama” jokes, a person’s brand of humor says a lot about them. So it probably IS best to avoid such jokes…December 20, 2011 3:30 am at 3:30 am #950874nfgo3Member
Chuck Norris walks into a bar wearing a black Borsolino fedora, and a parrot is standing on the hat. The bartender looks up and says, “Where did you get that?” and the parrot says, “He got it on Kingston Avenue in Crown Heights, all the men’s stores in that neighborhood have them.”December 20, 2011 4:14 am at 4:14 am #950877
I sincerely ask for Mechila ultrajew94. I had a rotten day at my daily occupation.
Also you claim you do not know the transformers theme song, yet you do recognize that my name is from it? Very interesting…December 20, 2011 4:15 am at 4:15 am #950878pbj223Member
It is completely assur. there is absolutely no reason why any YId should be listening or saying those sort of jokes– veryinnapropriateDecember 20, 2011 4:17 am at 4:17 am #950879
not at all interesting because in my daily occupation i have to deal with many off the derech individuals so dont sweat it. and i am absolutely mochel youDecember 20, 2011 4:20 am at 4:20 am #950880pbj223Member
what is ther to be mochel? did i say anything wrong? im allowed to post whateveer i feel is rightDecember 20, 2011 4:26 am at 4:26 am #950881
not u pbj
im talking to mr.robot guyDecember 20, 2011 4:26 am at 4:26 am #950882
With all due respect, I think the response of ultrajew94 was directed at me.December 20, 2011 4:53 am at 4:53 am #950883
thank you robot guy for beeing calm about this.
also everyone should take into account that pbj223 is the wife of a kollel guy when reading her commentsDecember 20, 2011 5:22 am at 5:22 am #950886yid.periodMember
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
A few of my favoritesDecember 20, 2011 7:18 am at 7:18 am #950888dash™Participant
im talking to mr.robot guy
It’s Mr. Robot Truck to you.December 20, 2011 12:51 pm at 12:51 pm #950889
it would not be wise to disrespect chuck norris unless u want him coming after you….December 20, 2011 2:37 pm at 2:37 pm #950890BTGuyParticipant
Actually, I looked up Chuck Norris jokes. They are all respectful.
Here are two:
Chuck Norris was pulled over by a cop for speeding. The cop got off lucky with a warning.
Chuck Norris does not dial a wrong number. The person on the other end picks up a wrong phone.
I guess it is flattery, but not over the top.
Would a Chuck Norris joke thread create loshonos issues? lol (They are funny)December 20, 2011 3:15 pm at 3:15 pm #950891yahudMember
ultrajew: “because in my daily occupation i have to deal with many off the derech individuals”
what is that supposed to mean to you teach them to fall asleep in middle ur rosh yeshivas speech and get chucked ?December 20, 2011 4:01 pm at 4:01 pm #950892
Hers a Chuck Norris joke. Walker Texas Ranger.December 20, 2011 7:44 pm at 7:44 pm #950893mewhoParticipant
heyyyyyyy cordell (sp) walker rocked!!
he always got the bad guy.
and he had strobes before hatzalah had em.December 21, 2011 11:49 am at 11:49 am #950894begoodpls101Participant
A:They aren’t jokes they are facts.
B:When Alaxander Graham Bell invented the phone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.December 21, 2011 3:32 pm at 3:32 pm #950895mikehall12382Member
ultrajew94…..”For example the movie CARS has cursewords and not tznius moments.not that I saw the movie chas vshalom”
If you never saw it, then how do you know? Because you heard it from a freind who was told by his brother’s freind who knows a guy at yeshiva whos uncle told him?December 21, 2011 4:18 pm at 4:18 pm #950896
He heard it from Chuck Norris. Apparently, Chuck saw the movie, he didn’t understand most of it, but heard a “curse word”.December 21, 2011 5:26 pm at 5:26 pm #950897✡onegoal™Participant
I’m sitting here laughing as I read through this thread. It’s just hilarious!December 21, 2011 6:52 pm at 6:52 pm #950898✡onegoal™Participant
Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
Chuck norris doesn’t turn on the shower he looks at it untill it crys
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.December 22, 2011 2:29 pm at 2:29 pm #950899
as a child chuck norris built a fort out of lego they call it the almo..chuck norris tears cure cancer to bad he never criedDecember 22, 2011 2:32 pm at 2:32 pm #950900
according to einstiens theory of relitivaty chuck norris can roundhouse kick you yesterday…December 26, 2011 7:10 am at 7:10 am #950901dash™Participant
Jesus has a Chuck Norris fish on his car.April 23, 2013 1:42 am at 1:42 am #950902YW Moderator-42Moderator
(That’s how Chuck Norris Bumps a thread)April 23, 2013 2:59 am at 2:59 am #950904big dealParticipant
If you wanted to have a conversation with yourself why would you go through the trouble of making another screen name? Just say whatever it is you want to say out loud and then answer it.
You can even change your voice if you want to.
Or, go to the mirror with finger puppets and act it out there.
Why embarrass yourself in public like that?
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