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?? Can you clarify please? I’m confused.
As I said before if he’s been in yeshiva for 5 years and is STILL not religious I wouldn’t hold my breath…
but,
WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?????????
Rebshidduch – I think that you have to convince yourself that he will never be for you, period!!! Even if he eventually becomes Frum.
Repeat after me:
HE IS NOT FOR ME AND NEVER WILL BE.
Say that sentence 10 times in a row at least once a day.
WHAT??!? WHEN?????
“lilmod, I think I was convinced into starting to date him and his friends.”
What does this sentence mean? How can you date him AND his friends? Don’t you usually date one guy at a time? And who convinced you? And what do you mean that you think you were convinced?
Have you started dating him yet?
If not, don’t start. And if yes, STOP ASAP!
And the issue here is not about marrying/not marrying a learning boy. Marrying a boy who is not learning is not the end of the world. Going out with this boy IS!!!
He is BAD NEWS for you!!!! STAY AWAY!!!!
Stop talking to him period!! And get new friends! And drop these friends FAST!!! And get a mentor. And start seeing a therapist ASAP!
The ONLY problem is that I want someone learning full time.
Rebitzen, your ok with the FACT (you said it…) that he’s not religious???
Okay, I’ll probably be sorry I took the bait…
If there’s one good think in posting these things online, it may very well be that you – Reb Shidduch – can simply scroll up and read what you wrote about him earlier. So while the Yetzer Hora tries to play mind games with you regarding this boy’s “compatibility” with you, having it all in writing makes it possible for you to outsmart the Yetzer Hora.
THE CHOICE OF WHO WINS IS YOURS ALONE!
Rebitzen, you sound extremely confused and you are not making any sense (or you keep changing your mind) I think at this point you should take Lilmods advice and find a mentor / therapist (who is jewish and reliable) or maybe you just need a friend who is (NOT A GUY) a positive influence or has similar hashkafos as you (even though it’s not clear what you yourself think…)
Mammele – + 1 googol. Spoken like a true Yiddeshe Mammele!
rebshidduch what circumstances are you in that you keep being around this guy? (or do you keep going back to meet him?)
other girls tell me it is okay to be around him
Maybe you should start thinking for yourself instead of asking everyone else how to think
I think you need guidance but you are getting it from the wrong people. You need a therapist and a mentor ASAP, and until you do something about that, nothing is going to help (as can be seen by the turn this thread has taken).
You also need a new group of friends. Weren’t you attending a shiur in Lakewood? What happened with that?
Maybe you need a new shiur. Or a new college. You are definitely hanging out with the wrong crowd.
Rebitzen to quote YOU yesterday:
“he already went to yeshiva for close to 5 years and he still is not that religious.”
He became frum today?
I haven’t been around much – has anyone been
checking the fuel gauge on the troll detector?
randomex, i’ve been thinking that for a while I posted something they didn’t let through anyway there’s nothing else to say so RS do yourself and everyone else a favor and get some help.
Anyway i’m done with this thread so good luck and PEACE
bmyer out
You know, after reading thru this thread and others of the same type, I think this guy might not be so bad for RebShidduch afterall. He is probably more her type than the Lakewood learning guys that she thinks she wants. Anyway, it is highly improbable that she will take anyone’s advice here. i agree with bmyer, no point in sticking around this thread anymore.
IF you REALLY WANT to, you can give boys very clear messages by ignoring them.
But this can only work if you are really clear on what you want. The problem here is that you are saying one thing but giving over a different message through your actions, body language, etc.
You will not be able to get rid of him until you have convinced yourself that it’s what you want to do.
That is why you need a therapist ASAP to help you to figure out how you feel about things.
Meanwhile, at least stop giving him rides and stop talking to him.
Maybe you should consider switching to an all girls’ college.
Does this guy smoke? Did he ever smoke?
No thanks, I rather not know.
But I want to know. Winnie, close your ears so rebshidduch can tell me
Me too. Thanks, Meno. Although I would rather hear how the things I have suggested are going.
Question for the CR please… Does Reb in Rebshidduch and RebYidd23 stand for Rebbetzin?
What relationship?
“Lilmod, I do not want to disappoint you but expect the worst.”
Meaning what? That you are not listening to my advice? Well I guess there’s a reason that everyone else has stopped giving you advice.
LB – her relationship with the guy who she was giving rides to because he promised not to talk to her but he ended up showing her his tattoo, but she’s going out with him anyhow because he promised to learn full-time if she does and he doesn’t smoke.
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