February 27, 2017 9:27 pm at 9:27 pm #1220691
bmyer, the better boys that go to good yeshivas and are much more religious.February 27, 2017 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #1220692
bmyer, but I do think the guy has potential based off the fact that he lately started to hang out with more religious friends. Also he learns like a normal frum guy. Also the way I see him is that in like 2 years even if we did not date he would be ready for girls as frum as me because his becoming much more religious.February 27, 2017 9:36 pm at 9:36 pm #1220693
?? Can you clarify please? I’m confused.February 27, 2017 10:16 pm at 10:16 pm #1220694
bymer, I am asking should I date him if he comes back on? As in do you see any signs of him returning to being religious?February 28, 2017 12:16 am at 12:16 am #1220695
As I said before if he’s been in yeshiva for 5 years and is STILL not religious I wouldn’t hold my breath…
WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?????????February 28, 2017 12:30 am at 12:30 am #1220696
Rebshidduch – I think that you have to convince yourself that he will never be for you, period!!! Even if he eventually becomes Frum.
Repeat after me:
HE IS NOT FOR ME AND NEVER WILL BE.
Say that sentence 10 times in a row at least once a day.February 28, 2017 12:33 am at 12:33 am #1220697
lilmod, I think I was convinced into starting to date him and his friends. So the question is what should I do now? If I still want someone learning full time?February 28, 2017 12:36 am at 12:36 am #1220698
WHAT??!? WHEN?????February 28, 2017 12:40 am at 12:40 am #1220699
“lilmod, I think I was convinced into starting to date him and his friends.”
What does this sentence mean? How can you date him AND his friends? Don’t you usually date one guy at a time? And who convinced you? And what do you mean that you think you were convinced?
Have you started dating him yet?
If not, don’t start. And if yes, STOP ASAP!
And the issue here is not about marrying/not marrying a learning boy. Marrying a boy who is not learning is not the end of the world. Going out with this boy IS!!!
He is BAD NEWS for you!!!! STAY AWAY!!!!
Stop talking to him period!! And get new friends! And drop these friends FAST!!! And get a mentor. And start seeing a therapist ASAP!February 28, 2017 12:45 am at 12:45 am #1220701
lilmod, were both in our 20s and it is not like were children. There is nothing wrong with us dating. The ONLY problem is that I want someone learning full time.February 28, 2017 12:48 am at 12:48 am #1220702
The ONLY problem is that I want someone learning full time.
Rebitzen, your ok with the FACT (you said it…) that he’s not religious???February 28, 2017 12:49 am at 12:49 am #1220703
bmyer, just recently like the same way that we started hanging out all of a sudden even tho I said no guys anymore.February 28, 2017 12:56 am at 12:56 am #1220705MammeleParticipant
Okay, I’ll probably be sorry I took the bait…
If there’s one good think in posting these things online, it may very well be that you – Reb Shidduch – can simply scroll up and read what you wrote about him earlier. So while the Yetzer Hora tries to play mind games with you regarding this boy’s “compatibility” with you, having it all in writing makes it possible for you to outsmart the Yetzer Hora.
THE CHOICE OF WHO WINS IS YOURS ALONE!February 28, 2017 1:04 am at 1:04 am #1220706
Rebitzen, you sound extremely confused and you are not making any sense (or you keep changing your mind) I think at this point you should take Lilmods advice and find a mentor / therapist (who is jewish and reliable) or maybe you just need a friend who is (NOT A GUY) a positive influence or has similar hashkafos as you (even though it’s not clear what you yourself think…)February 28, 2017 1:04 am at 1:04 am #1220707
Mammele – + 1 googol. Spoken like a true Yiddeshe Mammele!February 28, 2017 1:39 am at 1:39 am #1220708lakewood maidelMember
rebshidduch what circumstances are you in that you keep being around this guy? (or do you keep going back to meet him?)February 28, 2017 2:19 am at 2:19 am #1220709
bmyer, he became frum again.February 28, 2017 2:20 am at 2:20 am #1220710
bmyer, I think it is because other girls tell me it is okay to be around him.February 28, 2017 2:40 am at 2:40 am #1220711
other girls tell me it is okay to be around him
Maybe you should start thinking for yourself instead of asking everyone else how to thinkFebruary 28, 2017 2:51 am at 2:51 am #1220712
I think you need guidance but you are getting it from the wrong people. You need a therapist and a mentor ASAP, and until you do something about that, nothing is going to help (as can be seen by the turn this thread has taken).
You also need a new group of friends. Weren’t you attending a shiur in Lakewood? What happened with that?
Maybe you need a new shiur. Or a new college. You are definitely hanging out with the wrong crowd.February 28, 2017 3:01 am at 3:01 am #1220713
Rebitzen to quote YOU yesterday:
“he already went to yeshiva for close to 5 years and he still is not that religious.”
He became frum today?February 28, 2017 3:06 am at 3:06 am #1220714☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲Participant
I haven’t been around much – has anyone been
checking the fuel gauge on the troll detector?February 28, 2017 3:42 am at 3:42 am #1220716
randomex, i’ve been thinking that for a while I posted something they didn’t let through anyway there’s nothing else to say so RS do yourself and everyone else a favor and get some help.
Anyway i’m done with this thread so good luck and PEACE
bmyer outFebruary 28, 2017 4:48 am at 4:48 am #1220717
Lilmod, I can not change who I am around during the day. Do you have any advice on how to change that?February 28, 2017 5:30 am at 5:30 am #1220718WinnieThePoohParticipant
You know, after reading thru this thread and others of the same type, I think this guy might not be so bad for RebShidduch afterall. He is probably more her type than the Lakewood learning guys that she thinks she wants. Anyway, it is highly improbable that she will take anyone’s advice here. i agree with bmyer, no point in sticking around this thread anymore.February 28, 2017 4:05 pm at 4:05 pm #1220719
IF you REALLY WANT to, you can give boys very clear messages by ignoring them.
But this can only work if you are really clear on what you want. The problem here is that you are saying one thing but giving over a different message through your actions, body language, etc.
You will not be able to get rid of him until you have convinced yourself that it’s what you want to do.
That is why you need a therapist ASAP to help you to figure out how you feel about things.
Meanwhile, at least stop giving him rides and stop talking to him.
Maybe you should consider switching to an all girls’ college.March 1, 2017 2:16 am at 2:16 am #1220720
winnie and lilmod, I will let you know iyh how our relationship goes. Likewise, I will always tell you all about the learning boys I am going out with iyh.March 2, 2017 3:35 pm at 3:35 pm #1220722
Does this guy smoke? Did he ever smoke?March 2, 2017 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #1220724WinnieThePoohParticipant
No thanks, I rather not know.March 3, 2017 2:12 am at 2:12 am #1220725
Winnie, then you will not know.March 3, 2017 2:49 am at 2:49 am #1220727
But I want to know. Winnie, close your ears so rebshidduch can tell meMarch 3, 2017 3:08 am at 3:08 am #1220728
Me too. Thanks, Meno. Although I would rather hear how the things I have suggested are going.March 3, 2017 3:26 am at 3:26 am #1220729
Meno, he never smoked.March 3, 2017 4:44 am at 4:44 am #1220730LightbriteParticipant
Question for the CR please… Does Reb in Rebshidduch and RebYidd23 stand for Rebbetzin?March 3, 2017 4:58 am at 4:58 am #1220731
Lilmod, I do not want to disappoint you but expect the worst.March 3, 2017 5:08 am at 5:08 am #1220732LightbriteParticipant
What relationship?March 3, 2017 6:22 am at 6:22 am #1220733
lightbrite, what do you mean what relationship?March 3, 2017 10:13 am at 10:13 am #1220734
“Lilmod, I do not want to disappoint you but expect the worst.”
Meaning what? That you are not listening to my advice? Well I guess there’s a reason that everyone else has stopped giving you advice.
LB – her relationship with the guy who she was giving rides to because he promised not to talk to her but he ended up showing her his tattoo, but she’s going out with him anyhow because he promised to learn full-time if she does and he doesn’t smoke.March 3, 2017 9:40 pm at 9:40 pm #1220735
Lilmod, I do not want to continue this topic.
- The topic ‘marrying a good boy who might not be good enough for you’ is closed to new replies.