Math Jokes

Home Forums Humor & Entertainment Math Jokes

Viewing 20 posts - 1 through 20 (of 20 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #1390714

    chabadgal
    Participant

    OK everyone knows this, but need something to start the thread off with…
    Why was 6 afraid of 7?
    Because 7 ate 9

    #1390743

    You think you want math jokes? Google how to catch a lion in the desert.

    #1390924

    DovidBT
    Participant

    Question: What’s the difference between a philosopher and a mathematician?

    Answer: A philosopher need two things: A pencil and paper. A mathematician needs three things: A pencil, paper and a waste basket.

    (Actually, that’s not a joke.)

    #1390931

    besalel
    Participant

    A functioning meth addict is just a guy that never stole copper pipe from an abandoned house.

    Oh, wait, did you say math or meth?

    #1391036

    yehudayona
    Participant

    A math teacher was apprehended with a compass and protector. He was accused of having weapons of math instruction.

    #1391543

    Here’s a longer version of the above joke:

    A public school teacher was arrested today at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
    At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra Movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
    “Al-Gebra is a problem for us,” Gonzalez said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

    #1391849

    Avi K
    Participant

    A HS dropout, an accountant and an actuary applied for a job. Each was asked how much is 1+1.
    The dropout said “Duh. I think 3”.
    The accountant took out his calculator, tapped “1+1=” and announced “2”.
    The actuary closed the door and whispered “How much do you want it to be?”

    #1391854

    BoysWork
    Participant

    sorry but these jokes just don’t add up…..

    #1391866

    MDG
    Participant

    “sorry but these jokes just don’t add up….”

    Yes, but they on multiplying.

    #1391884

    BoysWork
    Participant

    Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
    A: Pumpkin pi

    #1392229

    blubluh
    Participant

    I hope my HTML notation works for this…

    Problem: Expand the expression (x + 2)²

    Solution:

    (x+2)²
    ( x + 2 ) ²
    (  x  +  2  ) ²
    (   x   +   2   ) ²
    (    x    +   2    ) ²

    Edited to hopefully make it look like what you wanted – 33

    Edited again. I think it’s supposed to look like this. -25

    Thanks! Now I get the joke. -33

    #1392402

    blubluh
    Participant

    Thank you Editors 33 & 25. Yes, I was trying to “superscript” the power value.
    Actually, the spacing before the ^2 was also supposed to increase, but this suffices.

    #1392428

    Miriam377
    Participant

    and keep going down in value.

    #1392443

    MDG
    Participant

    You don’t have to so negative.
    I Gauss you don’t like this line of humor.
    If you want, Euclid come up with your own

    #1392451

    MDG
    Participant

    I’m sorry if I place blame.
    i can be the root of negativity.

    #1392586

    Miriam377
    Participant

    I’m trying to be positive here but my dear aunt sally just can’t do any simple algebra problems today.

    #1392616

    Joseph
    Participant

    Three statisticians go out hunting together. After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out “We got him!”

    #1392617

    Joseph
    Participant

    A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from a house. They watch as two people go into the house, and then a little later, three people walk out.

    The physicist says, “The initial measurement was incorrect.”

    The biologist says, “They must have reproduced.”

    And the mathematician says, “If exactly one person enters that house, it will be empty.”

    #1392642

    ubiquitin
    Participant

    thank you joseph. that was great! (people in the house joke)
    best thing youve ever posted

    AOn the way to the store, logician’s wife tells him “,by a gallon of milk if they have eggs get a dozen”
    He returns with a dozen Gallons of milk
    His wife asks: “Whats with all the milk”
    he replies: “they had eggs”

    (Usually told with a computer programmer, this way it fits in the math jokes thread)

    #1392645

    ubiquitin
    Participant

    A Sheepdog tells his herder “Here are your 40 sheep”
    The herder asks “but I only own 37?”
    The sheepdog replies “I rounded them up”

Viewing 20 posts - 1 through 20 (of 20 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.