September 6, 2011 6:15 am at 6:15 am #599204
Is it appropriate for a bais yaakov graduate to study midwifery before getting married?? Or is it looked down upon?September 6, 2011 6:23 am at 6:23 am #807209
Sounds fine to me.September 6, 2011 6:28 am at 6:28 am #807210Queen BeeMember
I don’t see why not.September 6, 2011 9:27 am at 9:27 am #807211
Does anyone know if there is any bais yaakov girl that does it?? Personally I don’t see anything wrong with it myself, I just don’t want to look strange to others for doing it before marriage.. say I’m crazy for caring what people think, but I’m sure most people do..September 6, 2011 10:38 am at 10:38 am #807212tahiniMember
A midwife is not just an appropriate course of study for a bais yaakov graduate, it is surely a noble profession for a jewish woman. What a privilege to help and support new mothers and newborns.September 6, 2011 11:31 am at 11:31 am #807213ToiParticipant
what is she gonna learn new. no problem. she may as wel be prepared.September 6, 2011 12:43 pm at 12:43 pm #807214
Why would be different from studying stam nursing or medicine?September 6, 2011 1:04 pm at 1:04 pm #807215
i defently think it is a problem she obvious is not from such a sheltered home! and it might be looked down upon in terms of shidduchimSeptember 6, 2011 1:04 pm at 1:04 pm #807216
depending also what type of boy she is looking for…September 6, 2011 1:20 pm at 1:20 pm #807217
Golden Mom, are you serious, or are you implying that you wouldn’t allow such a shidduch for your son?September 6, 2011 1:54 pm at 1:54 pm #807218mytakeMember
I don’t see what the problem is.September 6, 2011 2:45 pm at 2:45 pm #807219
My roommate in yeshiva married a girl who was just finishing midwife school. (or whatever sort of thing you do to become a midwife.)September 6, 2011 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #807220
Which type a midwife do you want to be? A Doula type or the Nursing type? The doula type who works in the community helping women give birth would, probably not use a single girl. But if it’s the nursing type, you get a job either in a hospital or in a midwife practice (sometimes part of a physician practice), your marriage status shouldn’t make a difference!September 6, 2011 4:00 pm at 4:00 pm #807221
I know a frum single BY graduate who is a doula. I don’t see whats wrong with it. Your marital status should not be a factor in the career you go into.September 6, 2011 4:21 pm at 4:21 pm #807222Abe CohenParticipant
I think its discriminatory that a male cannot be a doula or midwife.September 6, 2011 4:23 pm at 4:23 pm #807223
collegegrad -“I don’t see whats wrong with it. Your marital status should not be a factor in the career you go into.”
There might not be anything wrong, but Frum women won’t hire a single girl to help them out.September 6, 2011 4:35 pm at 4:35 pm #807224Queen BeeMember
I don’t see what the big deal is. Hopefully Geshmakke Mentch will get married during or after her schooling. She can work as a midwife then.September 6, 2011 5:06 pm at 5:06 pm #807226
Health you are right frum people probably won’t hire a single girl as a birthing coach but it doesn’t mean she can’t go into that field and help non frum people. My point was that people should not look down on a single girl who is a birthing coach.September 6, 2011 5:30 pm at 5:30 pm #807228Abe CohenParticipant
Raphael Kaufman: Why an OB GYN yes, but a midwife not?September 6, 2011 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #807229tahiniMember
It takes years to become a midwife, it cannot be done in a year or two, midwives are well qualified nurses who have gone on to specialise in midwifery, Even if a young girl starts a midwifery course combined with nursing that takes a while, and the midwifery would of course come last after nursing. I know of a few frum midwives in London and Jerusalem, they married young whilst training in nursing qualification and then went on to be midwives. Fantastic mothers too!
For me a prospective daughter-in-law with a midwifery qualification would be a real gem, someone following in the footsteps of Puah and Shifra, good on childcare knowlege and general healthcare, what an asset!!September 6, 2011 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #807231
Abe, that’s why I said “oddly”. Maybe it’s because of the inordinate respect that Jewish women have for doctors. (Que Jewish mother/doctor jokes)September 6, 2011 6:57 pm at 6:57 pm #807232
Oh, Abe, I answered the wrong question. …because he’d have to be a “midhusband”.September 6, 2011 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #807233aries2756Participant
I have a question for all those who are against this. Why are so many single Frum girls going to Nursing school. Do you think they don’t do a rotation in labor and delivery?September 6, 2011 7:25 pm at 7:25 pm #807234
The girl I know who is a doula is definitely not a nurse. It was more like a short course to get a certificate. I guess midwives are a lot more qualified than doulas.September 6, 2011 7:26 pm at 7:26 pm #807235EzratHashemMember
Please don’t diminish the training of a doula. They are trained in the same way midwives have been trained for thousands of years, by attending births and assisting experienced midwives.September 6, 2011 7:29 pm at 7:29 pm #807236happiestMember
Btw, a single girl can go into midwifery because iy”h she will not be a single girl her entire life so why not start working on what she will do after she is married?September 6, 2011 7:48 pm at 7:48 pm #807237
Happiest a single girl can be a midwife even when she is single. If frum people won’t use her she can get non frum clients.September 6, 2011 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #807238
I’m going to be a midhusband. I help them boil the big pots of water.September 6, 2011 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #807239rebaParticipant
My daughter wanted to study nursing. She asked Rav Steinman for an eitzha. He said that she should wait until after she is married and then learn to be a midwife.September 7, 2011 12:50 am at 12:50 am #807241taking a breakMember
HHHHMMMMMM golden mom, what do you think of single girls becoming nurses?September 7, 2011 1:53 am at 1:53 am #807243
thats funny i wrote a whole thing and it didnt get up i wonder y nothing wrong with itSeptember 7, 2011 2:05 am at 2:05 am #807245
and i put it agaiun and it still didnt go thru!?
I don’t like closing threads, but this thread is being heavily moderated. Please do not discuss things here which you wouldn’t discuss in front of your 8 year old. Especially to say how you wouldn’t discuss it in front of your 8 year old.September 7, 2011 2:09 am at 2:09 am #807246mewhoParticipant
someone’s gotta catch those babies as they pop out.September 7, 2011 2:34 am at 2:34 am #807247
Golden Mom:”i definitly think it is a problem she obvious is not from such a sheltered home! and it might be looked down upon in terms of shidduchim” -that’s prcisely what I was afraid of.. I want to be able to marry a ben torah. That is why I have chosen to go to college. I don’t want people to look down upon me in shidduchim for choosing to go for this proffession. I personally know it will be’esras hashem be great for me, I am just affraid peer pressure wise since it’s not the done thing.. what do you mean that I obviously don’t come from such a sheltered home??-cause I’m not a teacher?? Not everyone is cut out for teaching and baruch hashem I recognise where my stregths are, So why do I have to be bashed for that?? why should mechaneching kids (teaching) come before marriage?? Isn’t that sort of along the same sort of lines?? What is the definition of a sheltered home??
Also someone else mentioned something here, but I think the mods deleted it: she said something like she/her friend never told her daughter anything about having children until she was up to each stage: I highly doubt her daughter actually was that naive, the way she thought she was. I think the best way to protect children from finding things out in other ways, Is to tell them up front and straight, but obviously don’t go into graffic details.. All children are very curious about life, and they will find out elsewhere in a harsher form, if it’s not told by the people who love and care for them. I am very greatful to my parents for always being open, yes I do baruch hashem consider myself to come from a sheltered home, since my parents discussed it in an extremely parev way, I didn’t have the desire to seek the information elsewhere.. I don’t call it sheltered when kids are not told anything and then they do all sorts of crazy things behind thier parents backs, inwhich alot of kids then get mislead in the wrong directions and this chas vesholom unfortunately leads kids totally off the derech. These parents mean very well for thier children, I think they just don’t realise what they are actually doing, is a higher detriment to them.September 7, 2011 2:42 am at 2:42 am #807248
we have 8 yr old here??????September 7, 2011 3:06 am at 3:06 am #807249
Geshmakke Mentch: (if you are not a troll)
I think you should go for it. I don’t think anyone normal will look down on it.
If you are still concerned, please ask your rav instead of us, before you make your decision.September 7, 2011 5:29 am at 5:29 am #807250always runs with scissors fastParticipant
Geshmakke I just ask you one thing. Promise us you will never do homebirths and that you will remain skeptical of the crunchy hippy wanna be’s that are putting babies and mothers at risk with their incompetancy.
Maybe you’d enjoy medicine and obstetrics as a bais yakkov girl more, since you have a yiddishe kop.
Please check out the website SKEPTICAL OBSeptember 7, 2011 2:10 pm at 2:10 pm #807251
Hey Mod. I see that you deleted one of my posts. This subject touches on an area that some may feel is too sensitive for the CR. If it has to be edited so heavily that the shakla v’tarya is lost, maybe you’d do better to just shut it down.September 7, 2011 2:56 pm at 2:56 pm #807252just an observerMember
ok- i NEVER post but after reading this i had to…(that seems to be the trend no?)
let me start with where i am at now- married (to an amazing full time ben torah), mommy, in middle of nursing school (maybe even onto midwifery once that is done), and certified doula.
no i am not a bais yaakov graduate but i felt i should post anyway.
i took and completed a doula course to become a certified doula when i was SINGLE- not yet dating even….i personally took a course in israel (not through DONA) which was a once a week, 8 month course- no college degree necessary….in order to complete the course i had to attend a certain amount of births voluntarily. only after getting certified was i able to charge. i was very nervous about the fact that i was a single girl with no actual experience and how that would effect if any woman would want to take me on as her doula….shockingly you would be surprised how many women (yes even the frum ones) want a doula, and nowadays the cheaper the better- so getting experience is no problem since you cant charge so thats a major appeal, but starting off you build up your name and slowly start increasing your price. EVEN a “married with kids” doula CANNOT charge the “going rate” right away without lots of experience (and that doesnt count your own births…you werent really supporting yourself now were you?)
to sum up my certified doula experience- by EVERY birth i attended while i was single- the new and glowing mommy said “i could never have done it without you!” no matter if i was there for many hours with her or just 2, whether i was hands on, breathing with her, and giving her chizuk or none of the above and just standing there holding her hand….what i learned- you dont have to personally know what actually having a baby is like yet in order to give support and chizuk!!!!!!! you just have to know what you are talking about and doing- things which you learn in the course.
i got married despite being a doula already- shocking i know….and it was always comforting during dating for the boys to know that being a doula is a flexible job which i can choose how many births to attend per month so i wont be bogged down….obviously you are still on call…i didnt really take on too many births after i got married though since i was very busy with nursing school and having a baby of my own.
now for midwifery- kol hakavod to you for knowing its what you want to do and being “courageous” enough for admitting it, even to yourself. i find a lot of people feel its taboo and not the norm, because you know what? its not. midwifery is not for everyone. but one thing i can assure you- there is NOTHING like the feeling after you help bring a new neshama into the world. (at least if you have the same interests in hands-on midwifery like i do…)
i dont know how it works in the states, but in israel midwifery doesnt happen in a year or 2,first comes nursing (3-4 yrs) then practicing as a nurse for 1 yr and then finally a 10 month midwifery course. so if it works the same way as here i give you a bracha- may you find the best school for you while finding your bashert. and the he and his family will love where you are going in your “career shel chessed” because that is exactly what it is.
one more point i would like to make….as long as you are devoted to being the best wife and mother you can be first, you can find(and really HaShem finds) ways to help you out with your schooling/work schedules….everything is from Him and for the best….
lots of luck and looking forward to hearing about many of your own simchos and simchos you helped bring about.September 7, 2011 6:52 pm at 6:52 pm #807253
just an observer – I don’t know who hired a single girl, but the avg. type of Frum woman in America wouldn’t. Were the ones who hired you more the Mizrachi/MO type or were they Yeshivish, Chassidish, Yurshalmi type?September 7, 2011 9:05 pm at 9:05 pm #807256
just an observer no offence u said urself u didnt go to a typical by type school so ur husband was whatever type u are/were and he didnt mind..
but if sb wants to marry for example a boy sitting and learning…September 8, 2011 6:44 am at 6:44 am #807257just an observerMember
i actually wont be posting again because i really dislike how people feel the need to debate so much around here- i got my fill from the debate team in high school, so i dont need to get into it here…
health- i understand that most people would not hire a single girl (in america or in israel) but there are people who do- especially for the right price with the right experience and the right “chemistry”. i attended births of yeshivish,chareidi, kollel families to answer your question (and one chiloni- go figure she chose to take a chareidi girl…)
my point to show here is that you can gain experience and hopefully a single young woman who chooses to become a doula will one day become a married young woman who is a doula and from there her clientele can expand.
to golden mom- no offence taken, that is why i chose to write in the beginning of my post that i am not a bais yaakov graduate- so there wouldnt be any gneivas daas…. and please dont judge my life/my family when you clearly do not know me- i choose to keep my private life private but so you should know, B”H my husband is sitting and learning full time and has been for years (even before we met) and through his torah learning we are thriving, and we have no plans on changing that status anytime soon.
and it is comments like the one you made above, that i will now delete the email that was sent to me with the funny password that no one can memorize even if they tried….my original post was for Geshmakke mentch and for her alone…September 8, 2011 3:38 pm at 3:38 pm #807258
just an observer – “health- i understand that most people would not hire a single girl (in america or in israel)”
I’m glad you understand the point I was trying to make to the OP.
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