my dream shul

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    In my dream shul, there will be room on the shelves for the s’forim. There will be enough room between aisles to stand. The door will not slam (I’m considering locking them once prayers commence), there will be ample pacing space in the back, complete with lane markings and yield signs, and will illegalize pacing in the rest of the shul. The sh’liach tzibbur will give everyone enough time to say everything, even k’tores on shabbos and y”t.


    If there is room on the shelves, maybe they need to buy more seforim? If there is extra room in the shul, maybe it means there aren’t enough people coming to shul. And why should anyone be standing in the aisles to begin with — aren’t there enough chairs? If the doors slam, they need oiling or perhaps door stopper. Why would you ever lock the door of a shul? Some people are early, some are late, some people need to go to the bathroom more frequently than others (males after a certain age, pregnant women, etc.) – and Jewish custom is to bring children to shul and then aren’t always the most orderly of critters. If you can find ten people who want to be so prompt, start a minyan. If the shliach tzibbur is rushing you, switch to another shul that davens more slowly (or as they would say, with more kavannah).


    In my dream shul, everyone pays attention to the Torah reading instead of whispering like schoolchildren. And the tissues magically evaporate into thin air as soon as people are done with them.

    Little Froggie

    No one dares pace near me. They only get to try that once. Generally one hard stare is enough to reduce them to tears, flee in panic.


    scared driver delight, You don’t think 40 seconds is sufficient for ain kelokainoo ?

    catch yourself

    In my dream Shul, it is culturally unacceptable to expect others to clean up your mess. Everybody puts away the seforim and siddurim they take out, and nobody leaves used coffee cups on the tables (and I’m being nice, here…).

    Needless to say, you will never open a Chumash to find a used tissue stuck to the pages…


    My dream shul is where davening starts when its supposed to and I get to finish the whole tachnun even on Mondays and Thursdays.


    all right, for purposes of proper venting:

    Tonight by ma’ariv someone behind me finished sh’moneh esrei in approximately no time and spent the rest of his stay pacing up and down the aisle, which included brushing me, a lucky aisle seat sitter, a lot of times, thus disturbing by private meditation. Like, what’s wrong with him???

    As an aside, I have observed a few times people who make sure the person behind them is finished s”e before taking the three steps backwards (as they rightfully should) and then after taking three steps backwards, pace in front of people in middle of s”e. Admittedly, this isn’t the norm.


    In my dream shule . . .

    * everyone is in the shule for shacharit at least 5 minutes early.

    * when it’s cold, the heat goes on. When it’s hot, the A/C goes on, especially when it’s humid. None of this “just open the windows.”

    * nobody decides to make change from the pushke in the middle of davening. The pushke is not a bank.

    * people who finish their Amidah stand in place; no wandering around, no seeking another person to shmooze with.

    * the ba’al koreh is always properly prepared.

    * chairs get pushed back under the tables after davening, and sforim are returned to the shelves. The dream shule does not employee a maid.

    * newcomers and visitors should not automatically expect a table seat.

    * the gabbi ensures that anyone who comes looking for tzedaka waits until davening is finished before giving a pitch and wandering through.


    How about people actually connecting to Hashem through davening? Everything else is nice, but secondary.

    Daya Zooger

    Speaking of gaba’im, please refer to my new thread: The Most Thankless Jobs


    And my dream shul actually has some real people in it.


    In my dream shul, women would be welcome to come daven for any tefillos that they choose.


    Takahmamash, if you notice visitors in your dream shul, perhaps you would like to show them where they should sit?

    I recently davened in Rabbi Tenker’s shul, in Brooklyn (I was there for a simcha). Soon after I walked in, a woman greeted me, asked me if I was there for the Simcha, and showed me where to sit.

    It was one of the most thoughtful things I have ever experienced, and I really appreciated it.


    In my dream shul, no one yells at kids for running around outside


    In my dream shul:

    *The baal koireh is good, well prepared with a pleasant voice, but occasionally makes mistakes.

    *People bring their children, some of whom are messy and/or make a noise.

    *People are generally courteous, but sometimes leave dirty tissues around, don’t push their chairs back under the table every time.

    *Most people come on time or early, but some don’t.

    *The shaliach tzibbur will be neither too fast nor too slow, and will progress at a speed that suits the oilom.

    *People don’t shmuz, but don’t go absolutely crazy if somebody does. It’s simply accepted that they shouldn’t.

    *People generally mind their own business unless a really serious matter comes up.

    *People don’t discipline other people’s children. Ever.

    And whilst some of the things I am willing to accept in my dream shul may be less than perfect, at least I’m davening with the sort of people I generally like to keep company with. Human Beings. Fallible, occasionally irritating Human Beings, but who are generally considerate and value their davening and their bein odom le’chaveiroi.


    1yr old thread

    “nobody decides to make change from the pushke in the middle of davening. The pushke is not a bank.”




    Invariably, 2 to 3 times a week, someone will decide that he needs to make change in the middle of davening. This person will dump out the entire pushke, because he has a ?10 coin, and he needs ?9.90 in change. It’s loud and annoying, and when I’m davening for the amud, I find it terribly distracting.



    we’ve had the discussion about making change from the pushke (and noise) a couple of years ago. In our shul the Box is permanently attached to the wall at the entry of the minyan room and locked. 99% of donations are paper money. No noise, no issue. The shul secretary unlocks, empties the box and makes the bank deposit daily when her work day starts about 9


    Slamming doors shouldn’t too hard or expensive to address, given handy and available members. Fabric weather stripping works wonders.

    It may require a bit of effort to recess it into the door or jamb in cases where closing tolerances are tight.

    A more expensive solution is an adjustable manual door closer, but selecting the right one isn’t as easy at it might seem at first glance.

    As for noisy pushkas, a fabric insert might be a novel, yet effective silencer. I don’t recall ever seeing such a thing, though.


    I’m laughing so hard right now. I have never seen that before. But I can imagine it so clearly.

    I also feel guilty because last week I walked into shul for a Torah class. They didn’t have a class that day but I still wanted to give my tzadakah money that I brought.

    So I was talking to the Rabbi and asked a guy where the tzadakah box was. Another rabbi was davening when that guy came up and took the tzadakah box near the davening rabbi to give to me. I had a bill and the box was leather so for whatever reason it seemed easier to open the lid and stick it in.

    I felt bad for interrupting the rabbi’s davening. Then felt weird like I violated the tzadakah box’s boundaries by opening the lid directly to insert the bill.

    Shul comedies


    In my dream shul, there would be lots of interesting people to talk to the whole davening. There would be no uptight yekkes (redundant?) shushing everyone because they are having trouble focusing – after all, if they’re focus was so intense, they wouldn’t notice the chatting. In fact, they already don’t notice that nobody likes them.

    There would be a rollicking kiddush after davening on shabbos where people who like to drink would drink, and people who like to eat would eat, and it would be paid for by the $5 fines that would be issued when people shush ($10 when they shush a crying baby).

    There would be lots of seats in the shul and at kiddush. Every speech would be voluntary, i.e. not in the middle of davening (and they would thus be sparsely attended, unless the speaker took pains to make them really interesting).

    And on behalf of my son, they would do Moshe Emes between each aliyah on shabbos and also on Monday and Thursday.


    I don’t know why all the dreaming. I have been in shuls that meet the criteria stated by some of the posters.


    veltz meshugeners post.

    In my dream shul the chazzan would go fast enough to think of the words but not so fast I can’t keep up.

    Lilmod Ulelamaid

    In my dream shul, there will be no men in the ladies’ section even when it’s not Shabbos davening time. That way, if I happen to want to go to shul during the week or if I want a place to learn, I can.

    Lilmod Ulelamaid

    Also, there will be a lot of Sefarim in the ladies’ section so I can look up all the sources quoted in the CR.


    Agreed about the books

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