December 12, 2010 6:16 pm at 6:16 pm #593439
This is something that I started doing lately and I find that besides for making a Kiddush Hashem it makes me feel like more of a mentsch and builds my character and respect for others.
As often as I can I try to wish a good day, or nice day…to non Jews who I come across during the day like the mail man, or if I see utility workers or police, firemen, or sometimes just elderly non Jews or elderly non Jewish couples.
Let me tell you 2 cute mini stories that happened to me:
1. One day last week I walked past a construction project and wished the Mexican workers, many of them were young guys in their 20’s a great day. I said “have a great day guys and smiled at them” they all stopped what they were doing turned to me and just stared at me like they just saw an angel or something lol. They were in awe I kid you not. (Im not trying to show off just saying that they expect to be IGNORED and they really appreciate it when someone treats them like they exist)
2. On Shabbos I walked past a non Jewish elderly couple who were carrying some shopping bags or whatever and I smiled at them and wished them a great day. I froze them in their tracks and for a second they almost dropped their bags. They did a double take. They were clearly totally not expecting a religious Jew in Shabbos hat and all wishing them a nice day with a smile to boot!
I cant read minds, but Im certain many non Jews think we look down on them and despise them. My friends, we can change that little by little if we take the slight effort to smile and wish a good day to some random non Jews we pass in the street.
Its a Kiddush Hashem every time you do it. Think about it as an opportunity to make a few Kiddush Hashems a day!!! Additionally, it changes you internally, once you are being nice to non Jews you will find that you love your fellow Jew so much more and your general “Bein Adam Lechaveiro” will improve drastically in a very short amount of time.
But remember, be sincere give the smile and sincerely wish them a good, nice…day, afternoon, evening, night whatever…December 12, 2010 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #716884Good JewMember
See Talmud Bavli 62, that Rav Chisda would be Makdim sholom even to a non-Jew.
Rav Moshe Feinstein ZT”L used to tell everyone good morning, even non-Jews.
The Lubavitcher Rebee ZT”L used to say good morning to anyone he met in the street, even women. (I heard this from someone who constantly saw this.)
The word “hello” can change someones entire mood or attitude.December 12, 2010 7:03 pm at 7:03 pm #716885cofeefanMember
nice idea thanks!December 12, 2010 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #716886Trying my bestMember
WIY – it would be a bigger Kiddush Hashem to do this with Jews than non-Jews.December 12, 2010 7:25 pm at 7:25 pm #716887
Thanks for the anecdotes. Its true all the Gedolim had Kavod Habriyos and treated non Jews with respect and dignity.
Interestingly enough, what inspired me to start doing this is when I pondered the Mishna in Avos
Vehavei Mekabel Et Kol Ha’adam Besever Panim Yafot (Avot 1:15)
It made me realize that it means all people not just Jews.December 12, 2010 7:28 pm at 7:28 pm #716888
You are welcome.
Trying my best
I do it with Jews too however I usually give a nod and a smile and thats enough. I live in Boro Park if I stopped and said Hi good morning…to every Jew I saw I would be greeting people all day and doing nothing else. But in essence you are correct and in shul I try to give people a warm greeting.December 12, 2010 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #716889ItcheSrulikMember
Who said he wouldn’t do it with Jews too?
Good Jew: 62 in which mesechta? I seem to recall a gemara in the first perek of brachos where it was Rashb”i who did that.December 12, 2010 8:04 pm at 8:04 pm #716891ChutzpinyakMember
Don’t shtel ur chummros on othersDecember 12, 2010 8:36 pm at 8:36 pm #716892
You can do as you feel. Its just something that Im passing along as a Hanhaga that has been helpful for me and I found that I grew from it. You can make your own choices. This is only food for thought and a recommendation.December 12, 2010 8:46 pm at 8:46 pm #716893Good JewMember
It’s in Gitin 62.
See also Berachoth 6b, and Maharsha there.December 12, 2010 9:11 pm at 9:11 pm #716894wants to be a WIYMember
A someone who is busy with “it makes me feel like more of a mentsch and builds my character and respect for others”
you should have been more sensitive to a mother who is going through a crisis and not offer unsolicited advice ??????????? ????on a subject which you have no experience in.
I know I just gave you unsolicited advice ??????????? ???? , but that is no problem in this CR wonderland.December 12, 2010 9:13 pm at 9:13 pm #716895blueprintsParticipant
very good minhag agreed 100%December 12, 2010 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #716896
I hear what you are saying. I was just making a point and never accused her of anything. I was telling her that it is very important to avoid doing a certain thing (if she does it) and she took it as an accusation that she does it.
I really think people come here with the wrong understanding. This is after all a public forum for the purpose of exchanging ideas and having discussions. If you put up threads asking for others opinions, dont be upset when they give them!
Its ridiculous that people take things so personally when nothing personal was even said and we are all or mostly all strangers. Do I feel bad that she got all fahitzed? Yes. Do I feel that I did something wrong? No.December 12, 2010 10:34 pm at 10:34 pm #716897aries2756Participant
That is something that I have taught my children from the time they were small. We have all been doing it for a very long time and I am very happy to see you have caught on. Kudos to you!! What you put out will be returned and a smile is very contagious. You have no clue how your good morning, good day or just a smile will will spread throughout the entire day. It has a ripple effect.December 12, 2010 10:34 pm at 10:34 pm #716898
Thanks.December 12, 2010 11:10 pm at 11:10 pm #716899WolfishMusingsParticipant
FWIW, I always try to greet people — whoever it is — men, women, Jew, non-Jew, adult, child — with the appropriate greeting.
The WolfDecember 13, 2010 12:39 am at 12:39 am #716900Midwest2Participant
R’ Yaakov Kamenetzky zatzal was another gadol who was famous for this, and for “sever panim yafos.” See Yonasan Rosemblum’s biogrpahy. And as for not being able to say hello to everyone, just by having a pleasant smile on your face you are saying it without words.December 13, 2010 1:04 am at 1:04 am #716901pumperMember
That is a very nice suggestion. However, being a female, it is much less practical to put into practice. I shudder to think what would happen if I would wish Mexican workers a good day…December 13, 2010 2:03 am at 2:03 am #716902smile66Member
pumper – lol VERY true point.
I agree in general this is a very good thing to do. You know that story with the guy who was told by a rav at bar mitzvah to take upon something and he took upon saying hello to everyone, and it saved his life?December 13, 2010 2:32 am at 2:32 am #716903
I hear that. I wasnt suggesting that women do the same to men but women can be friendly and greet non Jewish women and certainly elderly men or elderly couples about whom you know you have nothing to worry about.December 13, 2010 2:32 am at 2:32 am #716904ronrsrMember
what could possibly happen?December 13, 2010 2:38 am at 2:38 am #716905☕️coffee addictParticipant
That is a very nice suggestion. However, being a female, it is much less practical to put into practice. I shudder to think what would happen if I would wish Mexican workers a good day…
How about the mexican, or indian cashier (who might happen to be a lady) a nice day, there are numerous women you can do that to, too
And I fully agree with WIY it does make you (rather me) and feel in a better mood too.December 13, 2010 3:12 am at 3:12 am #716906tro11Member
The Lubavitcher Rebee ZT”L used to say good morning to anyone he met in the street, even women. (I heard this from someone who constantly saw this.)
Even women??!!!! Now non-Jews I could understand, but women???!!!December 13, 2010 3:35 am at 3:35 am #716907eclipseMember
RE:”all fahitzed”…I had asked for a general “your thoughts” on my ANALOGY on that thread,not on my parenting.Thankfully,the thread remained balanced,so your post became “botul b’shishim”.
But your comment here reminds me of the Apology Of 2010:
“I’m sorry YOU THINK I SAID WHAT I SAID
I’m sorry YOU THINK I DID WHAT I DID
I’m really not sure why you are upset
I’m almost a perfect yid!”December 13, 2010 4:11 am at 4:11 am #716908real-briskerMember
Well lets be smart and not twist WIY words; obviously each gender shoulod only greet thier gender.December 13, 2010 4:47 am at 4:47 am #716909pumperMember
What could possibly happen…
Judging by the comments I get when I simply walk by and avert my eyes, engaging in a conversation is not a very clever move at allDecember 13, 2010 7:21 am at 7:21 am #716910One of the chevraParticipant
There is a known story about Rav Mordechai Schwab Zatz”l of Monsey. He was once walking to Yeshiva with two talmidim, one of who would walk with him often and one who it was his first time. When they past a certain point on the way, Rav Schwab,said With his usual smile and warm expression,”Good morning”. Not noticing anyone there,the newcomer quietly asked the usual one, “To whom did the Mashgiach just say good morning??”
He answered, “There is usualy an elderly woman standing at that spot waiting for someone, at the time the Mashgiach passes there. He made it a practice to say good morning to her every day, but since he was makpid on “Shmiras Haeinayim” he did not notice that today she was not there!, so he just said his usual warm heart-felt Good morning, when he reached the spot where she usualy waits, and continued on his way!!!December 13, 2010 9:40 am at 9:40 am #716911
Think about it as an opportunity to make a few Kiddush Hashems a day!!!
Just how many “Hashems” are there? I thought only One!
Try kiddushim Hashem. You are making more than one sanctification, not more than one Hashem C”V.December 13, 2010 11:12 am at 11:12 am #716912cherrybimParticipant
Trying my best, Good Morning; whatever you are.December 13, 2010 2:01 pm at 2:01 pm #716913wants to be a WIYMember
Try kiddushim Hashem This is BETTER Acts of K… H…. Haifagirl ?????????? ???
???? ????? ???December 13, 2010 2:44 pm at 2:44 pm #716914BEST IMAParticipant
WIY Its a very nice idea. Years ago we lived in Baltimore. It was the norm that when you passed someone in the street on shabbos you would say good Shabbos. If someone would walk by you without saying good Shabbos you knew they were from out of town. We still say good Shabbos when we pass people in the street but some of the looks we get from people in brooklyn are comical. It is a nice thing to work on though. It does make a huge difference not only to Jews but to non Jews as well.December 13, 2010 4:43 pm at 4:43 pm #716915blueprintsParticipant
haifa girl and shloimiesshver:
how about kidushey hashem it’s just plural of kidush but in the construct form “kidush of…” so it’s kidusheyDecember 13, 2010 5:18 pm at 5:18 pm #716917BP ZaidehMember
Get busy writing another appology. Perhaps there is no need since
Eclipse stopped posting & possibly visiting.
I have a strange feeling I will be an Elter Elter zaideh before
…. if this the way you are in the real worldDecember 13, 2010 5:27 pm at 5:27 pm #716918
Thanks. My Hebrew is not so ???.December 13, 2010 6:06 pm at 6:06 pm #716920
Actually I am technically correct since Hashem has many names.December 13, 2010 6:31 pm at 6:31 pm #716921
I dont owe her an apology. She has taken me out of context, and gone to the trouble of being a bit nasty to me on my own thread here, and then when I mention that to her she denies it and says she never said anything to me. I cant deal with such issues…December 13, 2010 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #716923aries2756Participant
You can’t seem to deal with any issues where you are wrong only where others are wrong.December 13, 2010 7:17 pm at 7:17 pm #716924
WIY – “I cant read minds, but Im certain many non Jews think we look down on them and despise them.”
You can look back on previous threads and KNOW that many Jews look down on non-Jews, like the thread from a couple weeks ago in which you touched on similar ideas “Time to blow some peoples minds here…”, it was a free for all of “goy is a goy is a goy” comments.
There are many Jews that DO realize that they should be reaching out to the non-Jew: smiling at them, or better yet sharing the Sheva Mitzvot with them, which people need to hear! The Jews who go with “a goy is a goy…” in an obvious derogatory manner, just like in this thread, there’s little hope, in my opinion, for those people to be more than a light unto other Jews. Maybe they like it that way.
Thank you WIY, and others that are a light unto the <b>nations</b>!December 13, 2010 8:21 pm at 8:21 pm #716927
Sean Ben Noach
You are certainly welcome. I try my best to treat all people as human beings and not discriminate against anyone or be racist. Theres even a Muslim man I say good morning to whenever I see him. However you should realize that because Orthodox Jews try hard to maintain their identity as Jews and avoid slipping in their observance many will avoid non Jews like the plague or maybe find it easier to look down at them as a means to avoid doing anything improper and coming to mingle with non Jews which would lead them to compromise on their Mitzvah observance. Im just saying this as a possible defense on their part even though its still a bad approach and in reality Jews should strive to be a light unto the nations and treat all people with the respect they deserve.December 13, 2010 8:31 pm at 8:31 pm #716928
Actually I am technically correct since Hashem has many names.
I assume in “real life” your name isn’t WIY. I assume you have a real name. You may possibly also have a secular name if your parents chose to give you one. In any case, you have at least two names (WIY and the real name).
So “technically,” since you have more than one name, I can call you WIYS.December 13, 2010 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm #716929
Lol call me WIYS if it floats your boat.December 13, 2010 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm #716930bennaishekParticipant
pumper…..care to explain the nic 😉 lolDecember 13, 2010 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm #716931
Thank you WIY,
I agree with you that, Heaven forbid, a Jew would slip in their observance due to negative influences, this would of course be unacceptable! Accepting unkosher lifestyles, being influenced by them, as you certainly understand, is a big difference from treating people with kindness.
As a non-Jew, I have to work very hard to not be influenced by the secular culture around me. I certainly can be sympathetic to avoiding evil “like the plague”…
At the same time, I see people all around me disenfranchised by the religions they have grown up in, I was one of them! Who is going to tell them about the true G-d of Torah? It sounds like a job for a Priestly nation called to be a light to the Nations… Do you happen know any of those? 🙂
It starts with a smile. It starts with a “Good Shabbos” in passing. Those people will know that you are approachable, kind and obviously religious and proud of it. They aren’t going to assume that a “Good Shabbos” means, let’s go to McDonald’s together, but rather “That Jewish guy was nice”.
Sean Ben NoachDecember 13, 2010 9:20 pm at 9:20 pm #716932
Sean Ben Noach
I agree with you 100% although when I pass non Jews on Shabbos I say “have a nice day” or “have a nice weekend,” not “Have a good Shabbos.” 🙂December 13, 2010 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #716933
ha! Well, I was thinking that is what they eventually say to you, like what I think I got from “Best Ima” talking about B’more, but actually maybe she was talking about Jew to Jew, now that I’m rereading it. Whatever, “Have a nice weekend” works all the same 🙂December 13, 2010 9:43 pm at 9:43 pm #716934BEST IMAParticipant
Yes it does work Sean Ben Noach. Smiling and saying hello to someone you pass shouldnt make a difference if they are jewish or not. Its such a small effort on your part to just smile and wish someone a nice weekend but it really does mean alot. The lady in the post office or the guy thats puts gas in your car. It really does mean alot.December 14, 2010 5:17 am at 5:17 am #716936ronrsrMember
>>>.The Lubavitcher Rebee ZT”L used to say good morning to anyone he met in the street, even women. (I heard this from someone who constantly saw this.)<<<<
I think he had the right idea.
Every human society has greeting rituals, for some reason they are very important to us psychologically. If you think they are not, try not greeting everyone for one day, and see how many people end up disliking you.
I wish you all a wonderful Tuesday.
I have worked with people who always had a big smile and a heartfelt greeting for everyone, and they made me feel good. I wish I could always do the same.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.