Need people to make my wedding B'simcha
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- This topic has 36 replies, 24 voices, and was last updated 12 years ago by dev.
May 12, 2011 12:24 am at 12:24 am #596836
My fiance and I come from irreligious homes and thus have mostly irreligious friends and family.
Our wedding will B’H be entirely separate (dancing/seating) but we are afraid that it wont be as simcha b/c a lot of the people have never been to a separate wedding or are against these types of weddings.
Does anybody know the number of a religious dance group to make the dancing that much more simcha. Basically doing a dance show during the dancing.
Willing to pay if need be and if they have a video online that would be great.
Thanks in advanceMay 12, 2011 1:09 am at 1:09 am #768903ilovetheholylandParticipant
first of all MAZAL TOV! i wish you much hatzlacha and happiness in your future. second of all, i dont know of any groups offhand, but i do know that if you let any bais yaakov high school or yeshiva know the date of where youre getting married, and the hall, you will have plenty of people to dance and be happy for you at your wedding. i personally have been to many weddings like this!!!May 12, 2011 1:12 am at 1:12 am #768904commonsenseParticipant
many many people will come if you want them to. call any yeshiva both boys and girls and they will gladly come.May 12, 2011 1:30 am at 1:30 am #768905
Where will the wedding be?May 12, 2011 2:07 am at 2:07 am #768906
Do you live in or near a town with a yeshiva or seminary? Often the bochurim and/or the girls will come to dance if they are told of the situation, you just should provide a few tables with refreshments (hot or cold) for them. Also a donation to their yeshiva/seminary would be nice.May 12, 2011 2:31 am at 2:31 am #768907ZeesKiteParticipant
I beg to differ with you on one point. I think having a separated crowd increases the simcha. I, for one, tend to let loose when not in the presence of the opposite gender. It it really something to watch. I’m sure there are others like me, who close up when observed by members of the opposite gender.May 12, 2011 2:41 am at 2:41 am #768908yossi z.Member
Depending on where you live you can ask the local yeshivah …
😀 Zuberman! 😀May 12, 2011 3:10 am at 3:10 am #768909charliehallParticipant
At my wedding we had mixed seating but separate dancing — and a very high mechitzah so the women didn’t have to worry about male gawkers.
I don’t think anyone says that separate seating weddings are asur, but you might want to consider the feelings of your family, especially whether they will be upset and might have a bad time if they can’t sit together, especially since they know that mixed seating is common in Orthodox weddings. Kvod Av v’Em is an important mitzvah. What many do is to have tables with separate seating for those who prefer it, and tables with mixed seating for those who Do Not Understand our ways. This is worth a consultation with an understanding Rav. Another consideration that I’ve seen attributed to Rav Henkin is that mixed seating for singles increases the possibilities for shidduchim.
I wish you all the best on your wedding!May 12, 2011 3:10 am at 3:10 am #768910
I agree with you. Like I said in my post, some people in the crowd are against the separate dancing or think not as interesting as when it is separate.May 12, 2011 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm #768911rosesharonParticipant
My family other than my mom dad and bro are not religious in the slightest. My wedding was separate seating however the mechitzah was placed in a way that allowed room for family seating near the dais which made my extended family happy. You must discuss any modified seating arrangements first with any hall you find as to see their policy on seating. Some halls are more strict than others. One piece of advice, discuss with any female family members on how they should dress so that they could have time to shop for an appropriate outfit. It took my teenage cousin weeks to decide what to wear with all the “restrictions.” She wore a modestly cut long sleeveless gown with a shawl over her shoulders which covered her arms up to her elbow. Needless to say she didn’t dance much 😀 Show your relatives wedding videos of your friends so that they know whatever they choose to wear must be dance proof to avoid any “wardrobe malufunctions.”May 12, 2011 4:32 pm at 4:32 pm #768912MDGParticipant
At my cousin’s wedding, they had mixed seating, with a mechitza that went around the women’s dance section. They were in their own “room”.May 12, 2011 4:49 pm at 4:49 pm #768913gavra_at_workParticipant
Agree with rosesharon’s good idea. Show them a friend’s wedding video so that they know what to expect.May 12, 2011 4:56 pm at 4:56 pm #768914WolfishMusingsParticipant
My father is not frum. Of course I wanted him by my wedding and I wanted him to be happy. On the other hand, most of my guests would have wanted separate seating (as I did at the time).
The compromise: we had separate seating, along with two tables of mixed seating (on the men’s side) for my father and his friends.
The WolfMay 12, 2011 8:39 pm at 8:39 pm #768915believerParticipant
If u call any school girls will be more than glad and excited to share in your simcha.
or U can post the date of your wedding or where it is..May 12, 2011 9:50 pm at 9:50 pm #768916always hereParticipant
what’s your location? I may know someone in Monsey who can hook you up.
Mazel Tov!!!May 12, 2011 10:01 pm at 10:01 pm #768917
Thanks for the ideas so far.
But does anybody know of a religious dance group or break-dancers?May 12, 2011 10:21 pm at 10:21 pm #768918
It will be in Eden Palace in JulyMay 12, 2011 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #768919
^^BrooklynMay 12, 2011 10:32 pm at 10:32 pm #768920
Why don’t you google “Jewish Djs” or something similar? I did and a few came up, but you have to weed through the non-religious ones. Check out “djisaacchalough”(sp?), the pictures were tznius.May 12, 2011 10:35 pm at 10:35 pm #768921justsimchaMember
im a professional entertainer …you could check me out on youtube-just simcha sampleMay 12, 2011 10:38 pm at 10:38 pm #768922JUST.MEMember
I dance at weddings and try to make it lebedig as much as possible. with breakdancing as well. I may even be able to pull someone else with me who is a dancer.
I need more info about the time. I can try.May 12, 2011 10:48 pm at 10:48 pm #768923always hereParticipant
justsimcha~ I can’t believe that you jumped over all those boys!!! (in the bar mitzvah video clip) wow!!May 12, 2011 10:53 pm at 10:53 pm #768924justsimchaMember
Stay Happy!:):)May 13, 2011 1:44 am at 1:44 am #768925kapustaParticipant
Am I correct in understanding that you’re looking for an organized group not just people coming? You can google “twins from france”, it might not be exactly what you’re looking for, but I think they entertain at weddings etc (a routine, not singing). It looks like there are a few videos on some sites.
Mazal Tov!!May 13, 2011 2:45 am at 2:45 am #768926
It would be pretty amazing if you could get the Yalili break-dancers. The management at Pomegranate should have contact info.
Mazal Tov!May 13, 2011 3:38 am at 3:38 am #768927amichaiParticipant
mazel tov!May 13, 2011 4:53 am at 4:53 am #768928
Yes I’m looking for organized group, not just people coming.
I will research the Yalili group.
The twins from France seem like more of a Bar Mitzva type of entertainers.May 13, 2011 8:59 am at 8:59 am #768929Shticky GuyParticipant
Spoiler a huge mazaltov to you! I cant help in your request, but want to give you moral support. I know someone in the same situation a while back and he was very careful to keep his family happy as much as possible, as you are obviously doing, even though they were very against what he was doing by turning frum. A few years down the line, his parents say openly that they get much more nachas from his frum, well behaved family and kids than from any of his other siblings!
mixed seating for singles increases the possibilities for shidduchim
Charlie: Please research this. I find it difficult to believe any frum rav would say this as a general rule.May 13, 2011 1:47 pm at 1:47 pm #768930GlattMember
If you post here, I’m sure people will come!!May 20, 2011 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #768931JUST.MEMember
Have you found anything? Anyone to dance at your wedding or are you still looking?
Only looking for groups? or anyone who can be mesameach is welcome?May 20, 2011 9:44 pm at 9:44 pm #768933minyan galMember
Mazel Tov! I am Conservative so most of the weddings that I have been to have mixed seating and dancing. However, I have a very frum cousin and her wedding was separate everything. All of us had a wonderful time and didn’t mind following the customs at all. For most, it is the same as attending any event in another culture – it is very interesting for first timers. I know a great number of people who have been invited to frum weddings and they all loved it. I have never heard anyone say anything bad about the event. A wedding is a wedding – a simcha to be celebrated in the manner that suits the bride and groom. Perhaps in your case, if you have some type of insert in the invitation explaining the mechitza and separate dancing, and even the correct style of dress, nobody will be surpised. I doubt that anyone would take offence. It will be a wonderful simcha – as it should be.May 22, 2011 1:48 am at 1:48 am #768934pascha bchochmaParticipant
I will be happy to come. Mods could I please have the info?
I love dancing at Chasunas and can possibly bring a few friends.May 22, 2011 1:53 am at 1:53 am #768935pascha bchochmaParticipant
PS I would like to know the exact date.May 22, 2011 3:54 am at 3:54 am #768936
We also had many guests at our simcha who had never before attended a frum wedding. Their consensus was that a secular wedding is more “romantic” but a frum wedding was more fun! And, as many have said, interesting from a cultural standpoint. (I didn’t do quite enough research on our hall and didn’t realize when they said an outdoor chuppah, they meant out on the street in front of the hall, near the parked school buses. Out went walking down the aisle, in came tripping down the steps. But, it was fun.)
Mazal tov, and enjoy the wedding and your life afterward! may you build a bayis ne’eman b’Yisroel!May 22, 2011 5:38 pm at 5:38 pm #768937
minyan gal- have you ever experienced an orthodox shabbos seudah?May 22, 2011 8:35 pm at 8:35 pm #7689381st timerParticipant
My daughter and her friends (graduating 12th graders) would love to come and dance. Just tell us the time, date and place. You dont even have to provide food, maybe just some drinks.May 22, 2011 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #768939devMember
Bottle Dancers are great!
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