December 5, 2018 9:14 pm at 9:14 pm #1638208
(May eventually turn into a spin-off of the other story, but as of now has no connection)
Working title: The Story of a Maybe Broken Genius
Start date: 12/5/2018
End date: N/A
Number of entries required before intentionally absurd plot elements are allowed: 2
Readers who may contribute: Anyone, as long as their intentions are pure.
Number of characters (people in story) allowed before a character list must be added: 8
Maximum numbers of flashbacks per entry: 2
Style guidelines: Spelling and grammar need not be perfect, but the work must be readable. There is no need to be consistent with serial commas or word choice.
Baruch looked at his watch and gasped at the time. He was two whole hours late for his appointment at the doctor’s office! But when he took out his cell phone to call the office, he saw that he still had half an hour.
He probably should have gotten into his car and driven to his appointment, but instead, he sat down at his desk and spent the next ten minutes replacing the watch’s battery. After he was done replacing the battery, he rushed over to the doctor’s office and was exactly on time. He was out of breath, panting. It was worth it.December 5, 2018 10:30 pm at 10:30 pm #1638301
Baruch walks up to the receptionist and is told to watand the doctor will see him shortly. An hour later, Baruch finished his fifth magazine when he’s called to the desk. “I’m sorry to inform you but the doctor said to cancel all his remaining appointments he had a important surgery to attend to and will be out for the rest of the day”. Baruch, disappointed, gets his hisstuff to go and hails a taxi to his night job, a mashgiach in an upscale restaurant in Manhattan.December 6, 2018 7:41 am at 7:41 am #1638399
Much to his surprise, his waiter turns out to be none other than…his doctor!
“Hello, I will be serving you tonight,” Dr. Panner said. “May I recommend the fried beet salad and maybe a good moscato to go along with it?”
Baruch stuck his hand out. “Tell me, is my hand broken?”
Dr. Panner gasped. “I can’t believe you discovered my true identity!” he exclaimed. “You probably also realize that the beet salad isn’t really made from beets!”December 6, 2018 10:00 am at 10:00 am #1638441
oh deer. how klutzy of me. I misread @coffeeaddict‘s last sentence. But my post could still work with just a minor tweak. Baruch overhears the waiter asking someone…till beets!”December 6, 2018 10:05 am at 10:05 am #1638523
Don’t worry participant I missed that he drove to the doctor so why would he take a cab to the restaurantDecember 6, 2018 1:36 pm at 1:36 pm #1638648
Actually, my post doesn’t explicitly state that he drove to the doctor.December 6, 2018 1:54 pm at 1:54 pm #1638653
Baruch was not amused. “Tell me, doctor”, he said firmly, “with all these other surprises, is the restaurant still kosher? You know my job, so I guess by having you here, I blew my cover. Also, would you please just tell me if my hand is broken? I am in a lot of pain right now!”
“Of course the restaurant is kosher!” replied the doctor. “The beets are 100% real beets, not potato slices dyed with indigo and carmine. This is a real restaurant, not a front for some secret drug business!”
And when Baruch inspected the kitchen, he found out that what the doctor had said was partly true. There was nothing non-kosher in the kitchen–the beets were sweet potatoes soaked in a concentrated solution of cherry juice and beet juice, but there was no evidence that anything else was going on. Also, Baruch’s left hand was painfully swollen and was getting harder and harder to ignore.December 6, 2018 3:28 pm at 3:28 pm #1638711
Baruch’s left hand began to glow mysteriously. The glow became brighter and brighter.
There was a sudden, blinding flash of light. Baruch, the doctor, the restaurant and the rest of the universe ceased to exist.
And then there was nothingness.December 6, 2018 4:48 pm at 4:48 pm #1638920
The nothingness was only there for Baruch, and after an amount of time that was, to him, both eternal and nonexistent, he came to in a hospital, with a cast on his arm and an antibiotic drip.December 6, 2018 7:52 pm at 7:52 pm #1639009
I guess I wasn’t clear
Baruch is a mashgiachDecember 6, 2018 10:43 pm at 10:43 pm #1639037
If watch needs new battery it would not say that youre two hours late. It would be stuck at an early hour!December 6, 2018 10:47 pm at 10:47 pm #1639040
Once he was in the hospital Boruch had another scare. Apparently there was a minority group of conspiracy theorists that did not take measels vaccines causing an outbreak of the measels. Luckily Boruch was properly immunized, however his exploding hand and conversion to nothingness turned him eliminated the vaccines protection. Boruch was in a quandry, stay in the hospital and risk the measels or leave and be left in aa state of meaningless nothingness.December 6, 2018 10:49 pm at 10:49 pm #1639046
As he walked into the hospital the floor beneath him gave way and he startefaaaaaaling!!!!!!!!He olanded in a heap to find two huge Chinese men staring down at him..December 7, 2018 7:38 am at 7:38 am #1639129
Coffee addict, in my entry, he was still a mashgiach, but one with a broken hand and a fogged mind. Funnybone, the battery had gone out the day before.December 7, 2018 12:06 pm at 12:06 pm #1639254
When the doctor heard Baruch’s concerns about the measles, he declared that Baruch’s “conversion to nothingness” was purely psychological. Then he gave him an immunity booster pill, which was a placebo, but hey, it worked.
Unfortunately, it had the side effect of making him hallucinate Chinese men.
When his wife, Aliza, found out, she was concerned about his physical and psychological health. The question was whether he was suffering from a true psychological disorder, or being drugged?December 7, 2018 2:04 pm at 2:04 pm #1639280
Happenings were also happening elsewhere, and to other people.
Back at their ranch, Annie Sakanah and her husband, Biz, were sitting in their living room, listening to some music. Annie gently rocked her baby, who, at three months old, still did not have a name.
“I still think we should name the baby,” Annie whispered, not wanting to wake her other children.
“I would,” Biz replied, “if only we agreed on the name!”
“I have an idea, and you refuse to entertain it!” Annie pouted.
“You know I respect your ideas,” Biz responded. “But my parents gave me the first name of Washington, which I hate, and I now go by my middle name. It’s so awkward when anyone asks me. I’d rather let the child grow up without a name than to have one that is so hateful!”
“You tell me that every week! I’m your wife, so I already know that!” said Annie. “Also, okay, we can wait a little longer on the name.”
It was getting late, so Annie kissed her baby and her hunting rifles good night. But she couldn’t sleep.
“Biz?” she whispered. “Something’s wrong. I don’t know what. I just feel like we’re not giving this baby everything that a baby deserves.”
“I understand, but I can’t explain it. We’ve given this baby everything a baby needs, but it somehow does feel inadequate.” Biz whispered back as he put their pet reticulated python into its night cage.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, until Annie jumped up and exclaimed quietly, “I know what’s wrong!”
“The baby needs a proper rattle!”
“I can pick one up at the store tomor—”
“No. The baby needs an all natural rattle. A real one, not one made of a bunch of lousy chemicals!”
“Of course!” Biz agreed, as he finished preserving some mice in formaldehyde. “But how do we get one?”
“It won’t be easy,” Annie admitted. “But I think we can handle it. All we have to do is find a place where it’s legal to kill rattlesnakes.”December 8, 2018 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #1639357
So they got into their 1990 Ford Mustang and started speeding down the thruway when suddenly they heard an urgent announcement on the radio…….December 8, 2018 10:42 pm at 10:42 pm #1639521
The radio broadcast told of the ongoing aerial attack on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese! Annie, Biz and their Mustang had mysteriously been transported back in time to 1941!December 9, 2018 8:15 am at 8:15 am #1639630
Luckily, their phones were a link to 2018, and they were pretty sure that they would easily get back after completing an adventure in the year 1941.
After they drove down the road, having decided to look for a rattlesnake in the year 1941, Annie’s phone rang. It was Aliza.
“Hello!” Annie greeted her sister. “How are you?”
“I’m mostly fine, how are you?” Aliza replied.
“I’m actually in the year 1941, but my cell phone has the ability to reach you in 2018!” answered Annie. “I just hope I can keep using my car charger, and that nobody in 1941 Nevada notices the anachronism that I’m driving.”
“That’s super weird, and your sudden time travel raises a lot of WWII related moral obligations, but I actually have a question about business.” Aliza responded.
“If I can,” Annie replied, “But I don’t know if I’ll be able to answer. Should I put you on speaker phone so my husband can hear?”
“Might as well.”
Annie put Aliza on speaker phone.
Aliza recounted her problem. “Lately, my husband has been having some medical issues, both physical and psychological. It started when he broke his hand, and he fell unconscious. Now he says that he has stared into the void, and he had a vivid dream about being stared at by Chinese men, and he thought it was real, but if it were real, how would he know the man were Chinese? In my experience as a psychiatric nurse practitioner, I have never heard of a similar case to this where drugs weren’t involved.”
“That’s not a business question!” Annie exclaimed.
“The business question is this,” Aliza answered. “I believe that I can have Baruch tested for all possible drugs, even those that are currently being secretly tested by the Mossad. However, it will cost at least five thousand dollars. How can I put together that kind of money quickly and in a way that Baruch will be okay with?”
Annie’s husband spoke up. “I’m sure I can answer your business question if you give me more details. Business is my middle name! What kind of assets do you have?”
“As Annie already knows,” Aliza said softly, “Baruch and I are not poor, but we live a kollel lifestyle. That is to say, he and I both own considerable illiquid assets. We live this way on purpose, because we don’t want the struggles of being too rich.”
“In that case,” he replied, “We would gladly help out with a loan. Unfortunately, we are in the year 1941, and we cannot give you the loan directly. I’ll still help out, though. If Annie agrees, when we hang up the phone, we’ll call our older children and ask them to buy some of your stocks with the emergency funds that we left them in case of sudden time travel.”
“I agree!” exclaimed Annie.
“Thanks, Biz!” said Aliza. “Thank you, Annie, as well.”
“73. Goodbye, Aliza!” Annie and Biz said in unison, as they had rehearsed many times before in order to save time when making conference calls.
“Bye, thanks again!” Aliza answered.
Then Annie and Biz called their children to tell them to buy the stocks. The children immediately agreed and followed through. The baby started crying. As Annie rocked the baby, Biz tried to use his smartphone to send an email to his boss, who would be upset if he didn’t come to work without explanation.
I had no intention of skipping work, but unfortunately, I may not be able to come to work for a while. I don’t know when I will be back. I am in my car, and the year for me is 1941. I hope to return, but if I do, how much time will have passed? There is no telling. I hope that when I return, I can resume my position. Please respond to this email because I need the confirmation that I am able to send and receive email to the future.
Washington Business Sakanah
Biz just sat there for a while, his car still parked on the side of the road. He realized that they would need a place to stay. He was also nervous that his boss wouldn’t get his email, or that he wouldn’t believe it, so he took a picture to send to the future as well.December 9, 2018 8:18 am at 8:18 am #1639693
Oh what a shame…I just wrote a brilliant piece, only to see I’ve been preponed by OP.December 9, 2018 8:21 am at 8:21 am #1639690
DBT insistes on making this a fantasy….
“OH no!” Annie shouted, clutching her heart. “Oh my…Those poor Japanese!”
“Well if this is 1941 we can be prejudiced,” Biz noticed. “Who cares about the Japanese anyway?”
Thing is, Biz was actually running for mayor of his village, and it was actually all a setup. One of the incumbent’a gangsters had played with the radio and made them beieve it was 1941 when really it was still this year, and he had bugged the car well with video cameras and now had a full-fledged devastating report. Biz was officially a gullible fool AND a racist, so both Republicans AND Dems had to hate him now.December 9, 2018 10:41 am at 10:41 am #1639762
Biz realized this a short time later when he passed a street vendor selling water bottles and was given change from years after 1941. “That O’Keefle! It’s payback time!” Biz, drives his car to O’Keefle’s headquarters and meets one of O’Keefle’s cronies and promptly drugs him and kidnaps him. “O’Keefle won’t know what hit him” Biz said menacingly. biz gives the crony a mind altering drug that makes the crony now a spy for Biz and forwards all embarrassing information from O’KeefleDecember 9, 2018 10:41 am at 10:41 am #1639713
Biz suddenly heard a loud crash in his rear mirror he turned around to suddenly feel a bullet pierce his arm. He immediately put the pedal to the metal and sped off….December 9, 2018 2:11 pm at 2:11 pm #1639923
Participant, can’t you integrate your piece?December 9, 2018 2:11 pm at 2:11 pm #1639882
Suddenly he feels O’keefle’s cronies arms on his shoulders as he whispers into bizs ear…….December 9, 2018 2:26 pm at 2:26 pm #1639939
Although Biz was convinced it was a setup, he had in fact traveled back to 1941. Coincidentally, O’Keefle had also attempted to prank him with the same at the same time. Annie realized this when she recognized her great grandfather in the background of a selfie, and she put it together from other details as well, but it did not seem to matter. Nothing could be done.
As she took the wheel of the car with her left hand, carefully treating Biz’s minor bullet wound, she decided to continue to pursue an all natural rattle for her baby. It would be fun, and it would distract Biz from the pain, since he refused to take opioids. She had no ethical concerns about her husband’s kidnapping and drugging of O’Keefle’s crony—-this was the same one who had once threatened her sister with a knife, and she was glad to see his mind taken over. But Aliza had rubbed off on her, and she was concerned about the psychological effects on her husband. A family vacation would be nice, and it would help them heal. Was now a good time to tell Biz that his mother was half Japanese?December 10, 2018 9:47 am at 9:47 am #1640341
No, she decided against it, she hated her mother in law (like all good daughters in law should, shouldn’t they?) “after we get the snake let’s kill all those cursed Japs!” She exclaimed loudly “I bet O’Keefle is part Japanese too and if we kill his ancestors then he can’t win the race and shoot you!
Biz likes the idea and they’re off to find as many Japanese people as possible.December 10, 2018 1:45 pm at 1:45 pm #1640645
But she instantly realized that her husband’s ancestors mattered, and that Biz had already been shot. O’Keefle was not Japanese, he was half Irish, half Chinese, and while Biz’s mother engaged in despicable practices such as multi-level marketing, his grandmother was one of Annie’s favorite people. Also, she realized that killing people is wrong.December 10, 2018 8:23 pm at 8:23 pm #1641100
Baruch: Male, mashgiach, prefers when his watch is in proper working order. A broken hand caused him some strange psychological symptoms, or is something else at play?
Dr. Panner: Male, works as a doctor, but also works secretly at the restaurant at which Baruch is an undercover mashgiach.
Two Chinese men: Might be a hallucination.
The doctor: Is an unnamed doctor who appears in the story. May or may not be the same person as Dr. Panner, but I’m assuming that not, because Baruch is suspicious of Dr. Panner.
Aliza: Female. Happily married to Baruch, but concerned about his health. Works as a psychiatric nurse practitioner. Owns considerable illiquid assets.
Annie Sakanah: Female, Aliza’s sister, who lives on a ranch. Married to Biz. Has guns and a pet snake, and is the type of person who likes guns and snakes. Can treat a bullet wound while driving a car. Loving mother and wife, and a generally nice person.
Washington Business Sakanah: Male, Annie’s husband. Nice guy who can help anyone with a business related question, typically referred to as Biz. Has only one gun of his own. Caretaker to the snake. One-quarter Japanese, but unfortunately racist against Japanese people. Got involved in a messy mayoral race with O’Keefle, and had to do some mind control on a crony for the good of the town.
The baby: Annie’s and Biz’s baby, who doesn’t have a name because they couldn’t agree on one.
The other children: Annie and Biz have an unspecified number of children. They buy a stock from Aliza.
O’Keefle: Male, half Irish, Chinese, all mean. Running in a race against Biz, and playing dirty.
O’Keefle’s crony: A crony of O’Keefle who once threatened Aliza. Controlled by Biz using drugs.
Biz’s mother: Half Japanese, engages in Multi-Level Marketing and other despicable practices.
Biz’s Grandmother: One of Annie’s best friends, a Japanese woman who never told her grandson that she is Japanese.December 10, 2018 8:45 pm at 8:45 pm #1641111
Let’s turn this story into a movie after!!!!!December 11, 2018 12:49 am at 12:49 am #1641232
And now, readers, I am sure you have been wondering where Baruch has been all this time. Don’t worry, our friend has not been having many adventures without us. He has only been resting at home, with his dear wife, Aliza. Yes, I am addressing you directly. It’s not condescending, it’s endearing.
Aliza cares very much for her dear husband, and she wants to make sure that he remains in good health. So she has insisted that he remain home to recuperate from his nasty arm injury and mysterious psychological ailment. She also asked him for some of his blood, and he allowed her to take some of it without insisting on being told why. She had it tested, and she indeed found traces of some questionable substances! What a successful venture that was.
Now, Baruch was feeling much better, and whatever drugs were in his system, they had all gone. Reader, I’m sure you want to get to the bottom of the mystery and know both the type of drug and the source, but for now, let’s focus on Baruch’s life after the drugs left his system. Baruch finally felt well enough to see his old friend, Marcus Trilby, a man who had been in his class and was now a detective.December 11, 2018 1:35 am at 1:35 am #1641207
Freddyfish, I was thinking the same thing, but the movie rights belong to YWN.December 11, 2018 1:43 am at 1:43 am #1641275
Where did #1641232 go?
Went to spam. It’s back nowDecember 11, 2018 4:14 pm at 4:14 pm #1641869
Thanks, mod.December 11, 2018 4:18 pm at 4:18 pm #1641901
When Marcus walked into Baruch’s apartment, the two of them shook hands and immediately, they performed an original musical number about their reunion. The song, which they had never rehearsed, touched on all the events and emotions of their friendship, in which they had been close, but ultimately found that they had less and less time for each other. As the song (and equally remarkable choreography) ended, Aliza brought them both some coffee. They sat down at the kitchen table.
“That was amazing!” Marcus exclaimed.
“Yes, it was!” Baruch replied. “I think I’m ready to get this cast off!”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t ask about your cast. What happened?”
“I broke my hand. I don’t remember how.”
“I have ways of making you remember…” Marcus said ominously.
“I’m not worried.” Baruch replied. “Remember that time in summer camp?”
Marcus did indeed remember that time in summer camp. They spent a couple of minutes reminiscing, and as they reconnected, the melody of the song they had performed together played softly on xylophones. Aliza sat in the kitchen, knitting a scarf. The scarf was long enough already, and it kept getting longer. When it was approximately the right length for an elephant, she politely told Baruch that she was leaving to have tea with Marcus’s wife.
With Aliza gone, Baruch was able to speak plainly. “She is a wonderful person, and I am very happy to be married to her,” Baruch said, “but you know how women are.”
“Whatever could you mean by that?” Marcus responded. “I’ll have you know that my own wife is a woman, as is my mother, and half of my ancestors going back to the beginning of time. If whatever you just said is offensive, I take it personally!”
“I just mean that women are emotional, and not in a bad way, but sometimes when their suspicions about their husbands being given top-secret mind altering drugs by an unknown culprit are confirmed, they get a little worried. She wants to investigate further, and maybe hire a bodyguard.”
“I would really like some more background on that!” Marcus exclaimed.
Baruch told him everything.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.