May 13, 2013 1:41 am at 1:41 am #609312
Hi i am a 16 year old junior girl and i listen regurly to non-jewish music. i really want to stop since i had a few discussions with people and was enspired to stop but it is really hard for me and i wanted to know if anyone has any ideas of how i should go about it. should i just stop completely or do maybe one day a week. i have no clue!!! i just want to be able to live without it without going crazy. i don’t really listen to bad songs like with bad words but i geuss i just like the style and voices of certain singers. help!!!!!!!May 13, 2013 2:08 am at 2:08 am #953562ChesMember
Penalize yourself with a monetary fine that you have to give to someone or an organization that you don’t like so much every time you listen to non-Jewish music.May 13, 2013 2:51 am at 2:51 am #953563
Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on your desire to improve- it is truly admirable!
I’ve been there done that, too. When I was your age, I too, listened to non jewish music. BH, I do not today. Believe me, it was no easy journey and many people did not understand my struggle.
Believe me, I understand your struggle cuz I had it too. It is very, very tough. Every time you think ur gonna go crazy cuz you need to listen, just rememeber that ur stronger than you think you are and that Hashem is cheering you on.
Right now, you can not even imagine being without non-Jewish music for a day without going crazy. That is because you never tried it. After making a promise to try never to listen again, and sticking to your word, Hashem helps you and it gets easier. I promise, it does! And the more time that passes, the less you will feel you need to.
That being said, I still missed the pleasure that the tunes of non jewish music gave me. So I reached out to a well-known Torah personality and told him of my struggle. He advised me to keep a few certain non- jewish songs that are 100% clean, and keep them close for comfort. (example, the climb, stand).
Good Luck in your quest to do the right thing. May Hashem guide you on your journey.
Be strong!May 13, 2013 5:04 am at 5:04 am #953565Derech HaMelechMember
I was also in your position once a long time ago. I switched from the worst rap to L’Chaim Tish. My advice to you is not to let yourself become crazy over it. Find Jewish music that you enjoy (even only a little) and start with filling your music time with that. It will be very hard in the beginning because you will get these strong urges to switch back to non-Jewish music. But those urges are normal and OK, don’t let them take you over, just accept them (not give in to them) calmly and let them pass. Tell yourself to calm down, relax “its ok, I don’t have to give in to it. This feeling will pass and I’ll be fine”. Eventually, your tastes will change over time and you will come to appreciate Jewish music and the way it elevates you much much more.May 13, 2013 6:38 pm at 6:38 pm #953568BTGuyParticipant
Hatzlaha rabbah! And may you succeed in all the areas where you want to improve coming closer to Hashem and living in accord with His will for us. The reward alone is greater than any beat or melody to someone’s song.
Maybe make up your own music on a keyboard or something?May 13, 2013 8:14 pm at 8:14 pm #953569danish123Member
Hi. I’m also a 16 year old. I just stopped listening to english music on Sat. night. I listened to all music- ranging from nice, slow songs to disgusting pop. I never thought I’d be able to do it! I did it by stopping completely; not in portions. I find that stopping at once worked for me (so far). Maybe try it with a friend. Then you can be mechazek eachother. Just do it! Even if you think that you can’t!May 13, 2013 11:52 pm at 11:52 pm #953570
Thank you so much everyone i hope that i can be able to stop i want to stop completely also BTGuy thannks so much for that awsome idea. i don’t really play keyboard i can usally figure out how to play certain songs so i play i guess you can say by ear. i like to make up words to songs sort of like poems and i never thought about making them into tunes it is such a smart idea.May 13, 2013 11:53 pm at 11:53 pm #953571
also danish123 i admire you greatly 4 completely stopping just a couple nights ago!! good luckMay 14, 2013 3:02 am at 3:02 am #953572danish123Member
Thanks and let me tell you. Its hard to stop but it gets so much easier. Trust me.May 14, 2013 7:26 am at 7:26 am #953574Shopping613 🌠Participant
Why was my post rejected? Anyway what I wrote in a nutshell is that there are many Jewish singers who sing inspiring music, that what got me unhooked. I advise you to find music that hits you right in the heart and makes you want to cry or music that makes you happy.
or you can try and write your own music which can be better cuz it can express exactly how you feel, its really easy! I’m younger than you and I write my own music, so surely you can too if you try!
Some suggestion for Jewish female teens like you and me are: Chanale (For women only!) Her music is rlly inspiring, she has a few songs on youtube just search!
And sorry, no links (mods please allow link this is Jewish music, but the album was made by after -seminary girls and they haven’t been able to put it on any site (ex. Mostlymusic or galpaz or else id just tell her to search it)
That album was made by some friends of mine who thought Jewish music these days is starting to get more goishye so they made their own cd, its cd, its inspiring and good!
Founder, president, and Awarder of SUCMay 14, 2013 9:21 am at 9:21 am #953575haifagirlParticipant
I don’t know how it is possible to avoid “non-Jewish” music. I was once at a friend’s house and she had on a CD of Jewish music. I recognized almost all the tunes, and they were all “non-Jewish.”
Once, during a piano lesson, I had a student learning an easy version of Brahms’s Lullaby. She recognized it immediately. “Oh,” she said, “it’s Hamapil!”May 14, 2013 1:37 pm at 1:37 pm #953577DaMosheParticipant
Jewish singers taking non-Jewish tunes is nothing new. Here are some songs that were “adapted”:
MBD – Hinei Lo Yanum (1974)
MBD – Shir Hashalom (1975)
MBD – Lichtiger Shabbos (1982)
MBD – Yidden (1986)
MBD – Father Dear (aka Daddy Dear) (1988)
D’veykus – Od Yeshama (1985?)
Piamenta – Asher Bara (1989)
Piamenta – Kol Hamesameach (2000)
I’m sure there are plenty of others, these are just off the top of my head – and not counting albums like Shlock Rock and Variations which are supposed to be “adapted” songs.May 14, 2013 2:24 pm at 2:24 pm #953578Derech HaMelechMember
haifagirl, damoshe: Is this really the thread for that? This girl wants to stop listening to non-Jewish music. Whether you agree with her or not, whether you even think its possible or not, this thread was created by her to help her. Try to respect that.May 14, 2013 2:44 pm at 2:44 pm #953579YusselParticipant
Perhaps you could ease your way out of non-jewish music with classical. Mozart, BAch, Beethoven, Boccherini, for example, wrote beautiful music which is not tamei.May 14, 2013 2:48 pm at 2:48 pm #953580DaMosheParticipant
Derech HaMelech: I am helping. I’m showing her which Jewish singers to avoid 🙂May 14, 2013 3:10 pm at 3:10 pm #953581
Ok I’m a little confused … I should keep away from Jewish singers that sing non-jewish tunes like variations and all ur mbd dvaikus piementa? Or could I still listen to those. Because I don’t know about you but I’m trying tostop listening to non Jewish music and if I need those tunes and stuff isn’t it better then listening at all? And btdubs ur all gonna have diff. Opinions, I know but if someone could, then plaese”argue” (include why) ur point so I could have a better understanding which way is better. But n sway thanksMay 14, 2013 4:34 pm at 4:34 pm #953582
Don’t worry- you do not have to stay away from all the jewish songs that use non-Jewish tunes.
Focus now on the non-Jewish music and don’t drive yourself crazy with other things!!
Good Luck!!May 14, 2013 5:16 pm at 5:16 pm #953583ultimateskierMember
Funny, i went through the same thing recently.
For me it was a machshava for a while but something i was scared to vioce since i knew once i said t outloud i would have to follow through.
For me what happened was i was sitting in the train my non jewish music blasting in my ears and i was contemplating a shiur i was on the way home from. And thats when it started to make no sense! Im thinking about this relationship i want to have with Hashem and at the same time listening to some guy sing about some superficial relationship he has with a girl?
So i pulled my headphones out of my ears and went the rest of the ride silently. Untill i got a chance to delete my iTunes library and put jewish music on i just never took headphones with me anywhere. I once heard Charlie Harary say “you have to burn the bridge” meaning you have to make sure you have no way back. For me cold turkey worked though i know a lot of people say take small steps.
Yeah its still hard. When you’re in a store and that song is playing and it used to be your favorite its hard! I cant say i hate non hewish music and have no taayva for it. But as someone said above, your taste does end up slowly changing. You know there is some really enjoyable jewish music out there too!
Good luck!!!!May 14, 2013 5:56 pm at 5:56 pm #953584
I would tell you that you should listen to what is labeled as chassidish music like MBD Avraham Fried, Shwekey…Do not listen to the groups that take non Jewish songs like AkaPella or maccabeats or similar groups as they will just pull you right back to the goyish music.May 14, 2013 6:42 pm at 6:42 pm #953586
WIY- agreed. That is what I meant with my previous post.May 14, 2013 7:13 pm at 7:13 pm #953587
WIY: That’s superficial and silly advice, especially as MBD, Avraham Fried, and Shwekey also borrow from Goyish music all the time.
If this is actually something you feel is important, pick a small group of Jewish songs that you love and a small group of really, really clean non-Jewish songs for when the urge arises and stick with only those for a few weeks. After a while, you’ll find it easier to ignore the non-Jewish songs and easier to turn to the Jewish.May 14, 2013 7:17 pm at 7:17 pm #953588writersoulMember
haifagirl: Once, during a piano lesson, I had a student learning an easy version of Brahms’s Lullaby. She recognized it immediately. “Oh,” she said, “it’s Hamapil!”
I love that one! My mom used to sing it to me when I was little!
revooh: It’s funny, I used to never listen to non-Jewish music but now I do. I just only pick songs I like, and I have to justify to myself why I like it. I happen to like instrumentals, so it’s not a big deal. I suggest maybe, as a transition, trying Piano Guys- they take tunes you may like, use only the music (as all of the Jewish singers do anyway), and it’s gorgeous (I’m obsessed with cello).
Remember, if you know this is what you really want to do, then doing it will be its own reward. Figure out EXACTLY why you want to do it, and it’ll make it easier. Everything’s easier when you have a clearly defined goal- for example, I’ve been gaining weight recently, and when I decided, you know, I’m gonna lose weight, nothing actually happened, because I had no motivation- as opposed to when my cousin got married, and I specifically tried to lose weight so I can look and feel my best about myself when I was there. Then it worked :).May 14, 2013 7:39 pm at 7:39 pm #953589Ayayashreichem24Participant
I only listen to jewish music now except for the occasional YouTube links I get from friends as “must watch!”s.
But I did it very very slowly… I was inspired to stop listening when I was in camp one summer, and started then. I first started off by committing to not buy any new not jewish songs but allowed myself to listen to my old stuff (I ddnt delete anything off my iPod yet)… Then I stopped listening to the radio (I discovered radio Hidabroot at this point)…then whenever I connected my iPod to my computer I weeded out the worse songs I had on it. Every time I connected it i told myself ill get rid of at least 8 songs and I usually exceeded that :). Then the summer before seminary I got rid of all my not jewish music (except for my Disney songs which are still there actually) and told myself if I still want them after sem, I still have the songs on my computer and I can redownload them after sem… Still going strong 🙂 I listen to some stuff occasionally-like if my friends recommend stuff or if its playing in their care I don’t ask them to turn it offMay 14, 2013 8:21 pm at 8:21 pm #953590
“That’s superficial and silly advice, especially as MBD, Avraham Fried, and Shwekey also borrow from Goyish music all the time.”
False statement. I challenge you to provide when was the last time that either Fried or MBD took a song from the non Jews they maybe did it a few times in their careers. Additionally even though they took some oldies, groups like Akapella and Maccabeats take from current music which you cant compare to the music from the 70s or earlier in wholesomeness.May 14, 2013 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #953591
WIY: Yidden is the most famous of them. It’s Dzinghis (Genghis) Khan by Eurovision. I’m not holding in their recent songs so I can’t tell you for sure, but if I get bored I’ll try to look into it for you.May 14, 2013 9:04 pm at 9:04 pm #953592Juboy613Member
I listen to non-Jewish music I know its wrong but nobody really ever gives me a good reason to stop and I also heard some of the supposedly good Jewish music and personally its not nearly as goodMay 14, 2013 9:12 pm at 9:12 pm #953593
That was in Jerusalem Is Not For Sale cd which was in 1986!! Close to 30 years ago my friend….May 14, 2013 10:07 pm at 10:07 pm #953594
Juboy613: “I know its wrong but nobody ever really ever gives me a good reason to stop”
You just answered your own question by saying “I know its wrong”.
Gotcha answer right there. The reason to stop is because its wrong. According to who? to Hashem. (its like saying I know eating treiffe is wrong but no one ever gave me a reason to stop) ??!!?
If that fact that Hashem said its wrong is not enough for you, then Hashem should help you.
Is it hard? Of course its hard. I went through the same struggle. Of course jewish music is not as exciting as non jewish music. Otherwhise there would be no yetzer hara. But many things Hashem asks of us is difficult, yet they are ALL possible.May 14, 2013 10:14 pm at 10:14 pm #953595
WIY: Yes, but it’s still a song of his played at just about every Simcha. I’m sure I’d find more recent cases if I looked into it. (Oh, and Shwekey’s Eishis Chayil is very, very similar to a song from Disney’s Hercules.)May 14, 2013 10:21 pm at 10:21 pm #953596
Batseven: While I very much agree with your point that someone shouldn’t do something that they know is wrong, I will disagree with the premise that Hashem said it’s wrong to listen to non-Jewish music.May 15, 2013 5:22 pm at 5:22 pm #953597Shopping613 🌠Participant
Google search: sincerely me Saralah pool
and you will find the album I was talking about….the mods just wont allow a link!
Founder, president, and awarder of SUC (single username certificates)
Please contact me to join.May 17, 2013 2:06 am at 2:06 am #953598
Sam2: Of course Hashem said its wrong.
Many of their songs are under the issue of 1)giluy aruos 2)guarding our ears and eyes from impure things 3) not going in the ways of the goyim.
Don’t even try to debate that listening to non-Jewish music is wrong. Please.
Listen, I am not a posek (or a male for that matter) so I can not give you the exact source. But it is a little sad that a yid should debate such a simple premise of yiddishkeit. I am sure, though, that if you wanted to be more exact, the Gedolim and chachomim can show you.May 17, 2013 2:57 am at 2:57 am #953599
Batseven: There is nothing more inherently Assur about non-Jewish music than Jewish music. I will of course agree that any inappropriate song is Assur. But if there is nothing inappropriate about the song then there is no reason for any “non-Jewish” song to be more Assur than any “Jewish” one.May 17, 2013 3:49 am at 3:49 am #953600kkls45Member
Just wanted to let you no that I really admire you for trying to stop listening to English music. I know that it can be very hard, especially since I recently stopped myself. At first, I tried to slowly stop by taking some of that music off my iPod and adding some Jewish songs. That didn’t last very long and I went right back to listening to the English music again.
A few months later, I again decided that I only wanted to listen to Jewish music. This time however, I did not want to slide right back like I had the last time. I decided to stop cold turkey. I deleted all of my English music and got lots of Jewish music. I did not let myself listen to certain songs from the Maccabeats and AKA Pella that I knew the original songs, because I knew that would only make me want to go back to those songs.
I have to say that b”H this really worked. I have not listened to English music since the beg of the school year. At first it was really hard, but as time went on it became much easier and I learnt to appreciate the pesukim and the inspiration of the Jewish music.
They say that you have to go from one extreme to the other to get to a middle healthy place. So at 1st I was listening to all English music, then I completely stopped. Now I believe that I am in that middle area. If I am at a store that has music blasting, or I am with some friends who are playing their music or in a car that has it on, I no longer feel like I need that in my life. Additionally, I now can listen to the maccabeats and groups like that without wanting the original versions.
Basically, just thought that this might give you some tips on how to stop like not trying to slowly stop, but by stopping all at once. Good Luck!May 17, 2013 5:35 am at 5:35 am #953601NechomahParticipant
Honestly, I think the issue is when the tune is from non-Jewish music and the words that are sung are just lyrics made up by the group. When the lyrics are from pseukim or something inspirational (not something that is just about physical relationships or other things against Torah), then the desire to slide back into non-Jewish music is less. By stopping to listen to all non-Jewish music for a period of time, like kkls45 said, you can usually eventually go back to a middle ground without getting pulled back to the other side again since it no longer has the same emotional connections for you.May 17, 2013 6:10 am at 6:10 am #953602haifagirlParticipant
writersoul, since you liked that story, I’ll tell you another one. I used to teach in a school that had a rule that students were not allowed to listen to non-Jewish music, even at home. One day I heard the principal’s phone ringing. Her ring tone was “Turkish Rondo” by Mozart.May 17, 2013 10:54 am at 10:54 am #953603interjectionParticipant
I live next-door to a church and I usually tune out the bells but this morning my husband started singing along. It was exactly the tune of Sholom Aleichem for Friday night.May 17, 2013 5:12 pm at 5:12 pm #953604writersoulMember
My cousin’s teacher isn’t Jewish, and when Candlelight was really, really popular, she apparently started singing along, with the real words (Dynamite), and the kids were all, “How do YOU know this song?” 🙂
I happen to like the Maccabeats, even though it can get a bit autotuned. I like acapella (I basically like any music that shows off the music and not the lyrics, and I think acapella does a good job of showing off the lyrics and the voices at the same time), and honestly, I discovered that hamalach hagoel/hamapil was the Lullaby when I looked at the YouTube comments under the Maccabeats cover :).May 17, 2013 5:40 pm at 5:40 pm #953605
Unfortunately, the majority of non-Jewish music nowadays is inappropriate.
I agree that clean songs (which are, by the way, very rare and few) are not assur. Songs like the climb.. etc are fine and I actually listen to them from time to time.
I guess I was generalizing all non-Jewish music cuz the overwhelming majority is inappropriate.
And I have a feeling that juboy613’s comment was not referring to appropriate music.May 19, 2013 2:04 am at 2:04 am #953606Juboy613Member
batseven: i KNOW that i answered my question in my post that was my point, wat i wanted was 2 have somebody give me a reason that makes sense 2 me i grew up hearing “don’t do it the torah doesn’t let” i obviously understand but that doesn’t inspire me to stop ….i wish it didMay 19, 2013 2:27 am at 2:27 am #953607jbaldy22Member
I definitely agree with Sam2. Actually surprisingly enough listening to jewish music nowadays may be just as much of an issue (post destruction of the beis hamikdash). Non-jewish music and why and how much of an issue it is, is a very complex subject. Needless to say it is not one of the yud gimmel ikarim and definitely is not on the level of eating chazir. That being said it is definitely a good thing to stop doing for hashkafa reasons ie timtum haleiv etc. It is a very good thing to do if you want to be closer to hashem and to have the right chaishek/inspirations to do the right thing.May 19, 2013 2:43 am at 2:43 am #953608
“listening to jewish music may be just as much of an issue”
Are you serious?! Find all the problems you want with jewish music, and I may even agree but I think we all agree that you can not compare it to non-Jewish music.
“Needless to say it is not one of the yud gimmel ikrim and definitely is not on the level of eating chazir”
Of course its not one of the yud gimmel ikrim- we all know that. And I never equated it with eating chazir, I just used it as example. (sorry if it was misunderstood as being equated).
But does that mean that it is not wrong??! All because something is not one of the ikrim, it is not wrong? Of course it is.May 19, 2013 2:52 am at 2:52 am #953609
“”don’t do it the torah doesn’t let” i obviously understand but that doesn’t inspire me to stop ….i wish it did”
I feel bad that you are not inspired to stop, but sometimes in life, and especially yiddishkeit we have to do/stop doing something, even if we are not “inspired”, but because we are jews and that’s what the torah wants from you.
Hatzlacha Rabah!May 19, 2013 3:51 am at 3:51 am #953610HaKatanParticipant
Ask your LOR before you decide that any non-Jewish music is muttar.
Music is an expression of the soul. As non-Jews are different than Jews in this regard, no matter how moral and upstanding the non-Jew may be, a soul-to-soul musical monologue by a non-Jew is inappropriate. This means that any non-Jewish music is potentially problematic.
Whether or not it can become kosher by a Jew copying the music and putting Jewish words to that, is a separate matter; even if it is okay to “make it Jewish”, this does not mean the original is also okay to listen to.
Not to mention, on a practical level, that you are biased in favor of wanting to listen to this music so you are, therefore, not the best judge of what is or is not halachicly appropriate to listen to, regardless of the above.May 19, 2013 4:12 am at 4:12 am #953611
“Music is an expression of the soul. As non-Jews are different than Jews in this regard, no matter how moral and upstanding the non-Jew may be, a soul-to-soul musical monologue by a non-Jew is inappropriate. This means that any non-Jewish music is potentially problematic.”
Show me one Halachic source which says this. You can’t. No one talks about this. I’ve seen this idea repeated here so many times and, honestly, it sounds like made-up drivel. And making up Halachos and Torah is something that one loses their Chelek in Olam Haba for.May 19, 2013 4:38 am at 4:38 am #953612
If you want to succeed in limud Hatorah and understand it in depth and want to be close to Hashem you can’t do aveiros including listening to things that ignite your yetzer hora and dirty your soul. Btw I have noticed that every kid that goes off the derech usually starts with music. Music is very powerful and the wrong music can have a very strong impact on you. There have been studies done that fast uptempo music played in a car subconsciously causes a driver to drive fast. There have also been studies that certain types of music lead to violence and that certain types of music can make teens depressed. No jokes you can google and read the studies if you have the interest. I’m just letting you know that music is very powerful and effects your moods and can pull you into depression and away from serving Hashem. Be very careful what you listen to because it goes in and its not so easy to get it out. I used to listen to non Jewish music I quit maybe 6 years ago I stopped counting. Anyways whenever I hear a song I know in a supermarket or other place playing radio songs I still have to catch myself from humming along or trying to listen and get into the music. Do yourself a favor and stop now before you get really into it and will have a very hard time quitting it.May 19, 2013 4:40 am at 4:40 am #953613
I guess we should just burn all the seforim on kabbalah and mussar and chassidus and other things not technically halacha.May 19, 2013 4:46 am at 4:46 am #953614
WIY: There is a very, very big difference between concepts brought out of Halachah and other Divrei Chazal and something that is made up. If you show me a Makor in Chazal, I’ll acquiesce. If you can’t, then whatever made-up idea this is is not part of the Mesorah. (I agree with your overall point about music and what is can lead to and those studies are very compelling. One should avoid music that causes them to be inclined in even the slightest wrong way. I completely agree. I’m just disagreeing with this (as far as I can tell) made-up notion of the composer putting his soul into the music and the listener absorbing it nonsense.)May 19, 2013 4:56 am at 4:56 am #953615
I don’t think anyone is trying to convince you that the composer puts his soul in to music and the listener absorbs (even though I have heard that many times from great people), but just that inappropriate non- jewish music is wrong, and harmful, and that you don’t need a halachic proof or “inspiration” to stop yourself from doing something that is wrong.May 19, 2013 5:21 am at 5:21 am #953616
Batseven: I would never disagree with that. Look at what HaKatan wrote. That’s what I’m saying is bad.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.