September 2, 2011 12:04 pm at 12:04 pm #599090
So I had a chasuna last night.
Both the kallah’s parents and even other men were crying so hard. It later came out that her parents were against the shidduch altogether and the father assured his family to speak with the shadchan. The new couple’s parents didn’t interact with each other, didn’t dance together or speak.
Oy.September 2, 2011 1:21 pm at 1:21 pm #805082CheinMember
and the father assured his family to speak with the shadchan.
What does that mean?September 2, 2011 1:25 pm at 1:25 pm #805083mikehall12382Member
if the children are happy and beleive they have found their partner, then the parents should back off…They are married and nothing could change that.September 2, 2011 1:25 pm at 1:25 pm #805084popa_bar_abbaParticipant
It sounds to me like the parents on both sides are completely crazy.
So, if the kids are also both crazy, then it is ??? ??? ?? ???? and will be fine.
If neither is crazy, then they will be fine. Maybe that is why they are ignoring the parents.
If one is crazy, they will be divorced shortly, but at least you got free drinks and entertainment.September 2, 2011 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm #805085
???? ed (“assured”)
mikehall (are you related to charliehall?!)
agreed, but that’s clearly not what is happening
It’s only one party’s parents who were against it, why does it sound to you that both sets of parents are “crazy?”September 2, 2011 1:46 pm at 1:46 pm #805086CheinMember
Silly question. How do you end up with all these weird wedding scenarios? Just the other day it was cancelled on the wedding day.September 2, 2011 2:15 pm at 2:15 pm #805087ronrsrMember
Chein, it’s clearly a wedding crisis.September 2, 2011 2:16 pm at 2:16 pm #805088
That’s a question you’ll have to ask HKB”H.September 2, 2011 3:27 pm at 3:27 pm #805089600 Kilo BearMember
I thought that it was only among unstable newer BT’s that a chassune has become just an engagement party, with the “engagement” ending within three months.
Something has gone VERY wrong; this is not the first I heard of these poorly thought out shidduchim ending in disaster.September 2, 2011 5:05 pm at 5:05 pm #805090adorableParticipant
just daven for the new couple that they dont get swept into their parents arguements. the parents might have had a very good reason for not wanting the shidduch but once you see that they are under the chuppa and married you have to change your mindset and be happy for them and daven that it works out.September 2, 2011 5:11 pm at 5:11 pm #805091bombmaniacParticipant
“Something has gone VERY wrong; this is not the first I heard of these poorly thought out shidduchim ending in disaster.”
why would you assume that
1) the shidduch was poorly thought out
2) that it ended or will end in disasterSeptember 2, 2011 5:12 pm at 5:12 pm #805092
In my opinion this couple should live out of town meaning not a place you can easily drive to. such a Australia or Eretz Yisroel is far enough and they should consult with a gadol of their choice to help them set themselves up in a community of their likes so that the community becomes family. Staying here will just end up with problems that will get worse this time!September 2, 2011 7:31 pm at 7:31 pm #805093rosesharonMember
As someone whose mahatanus STILL don’t get along after five years, they should move as far away from both parents as possible for the first year and get used to saying-” ma/ta, shvigger/shver, I understand that you feel upset and want to talk but I don’t want to listen to L”H. I love you and will call you back in one hour.” They should not get involved in anything between their parents and concentrate only on their shalom bais. Most of our fights in the first 1 1/2 years of marriage were about what one parent did to the other. Two ended in screaming matches and threats of divorce. Hatzlacha and koach to the new couple. May they build a BNB.September 2, 2011 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm #805094aries2756Participant
Sometimes machutonim get so caught up in the planning of the wedding and who has to pay for what, and this cost more than that, and you were supposed to pay and you didn’t, and I asked you to do this for me and you didn’t want to, that it gets completely out of hand and causes tremendous machlokes. Sometimes it is about support for the kids. Whatever it is, they are not the only partners in the shidduch, Hashem is as well. Sometimes these things work out and sometimes they don’t that would all depend on how much work these kids want to put into their marriage and how important their marriage is to them. They should never allow either side to get in between them. If the parents don’t get along, it is their loss.
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