Pesach

Is there a private room you can excuse yourself and go into to be by yourself?

If not, is stepping out, maybe just onto the porch, maybe for a short walk around the block something that can help?

Just knowing that you have an “escape” available can be a huge help in calming your anxiety and reducing your stress.

Panic attacks are very unpleasant – way beyond normal anxiety and apprehension, which may be what you’re experiencing.

If you actually experience full-blown panic attacks due to relatives’ Yom Tov proximity, and simply removing yourself from the premises isn’t an option or doesn’t work, you may want to speak to a professional for other ideas.

Obvious disclaimer:

I’m no pro, nor do I know you or your situation.

I’m just a poster trying to give some helpful advice based on conversations with a pro about panic disorders and their triggers.

Happiest, now would be a great time to buy yourself a book that you always wanted to read but never had the time because of your busy schedule. Find yourself a private spot in the house like your own room, and make sure you have a shabbos light on so you can retreat anytime you need, and you will have a good friend waiting for you in there, your book to just sit and relax with.

You can also put together a photo album of your most favorite pictures and the ones you find most calming and enjoyable to look at and keep that in your room as well, so you can escape to the places you photographed and enjoyed the most when you feel anxious and overwhelmed.

You can also find out which of your own friends or neighbors will be home, so that you can call upon them to take a walk with you or just have an escape with when you become overwhelmed.

The most important thing is to remember that YOU are entitled to private time and to your own privacy. Don’t wait for a full blown attack. If you feel the triggers begin, take slow deep breaths from your nose and breathe out through your mouth and do whatever you can to calm down before the attack begins. Whether that is going out for a walk, just stepping out for fresh air, of escaping to your own room for some privacy where you can just breathe near an open window and calm down. Different people use different techniques to help calm them down. Breathing relaxation is very helpful to most people. If you sit in a chair put your hands in your lap with your wrists up and just do some slow deep breathing. When someone who is anxious or about to have a panic attack concentrates on their breathing, they usually overcome the attack. What happens when you go into attack mode is, your mind tells you that you can’t breathe, then you start breathing harder because you think you can’t breathe, and you start hyperventilating even to the point where you can pass out. So getting your breathing under control at the first signs of anxiety and panic is very important to ward off an attack.

Don’t worry about everyone else, if you need to walk away just excuse yourself and walk away. At worse they will think you have a bad stomach virus.

1- Learn.,read, say some Tehillim 2- Go visit people who need a visitor. hospital, nursing home, shut ins etc. the chessed will make you feel uplifted and small ….. things won’t bother you. Try it!

there is something called too much togetherness. It has been explored by many psychological theorists, particularly the founding fathers of family therapy. It is an innate, instinctual response and is normal and healthy. Everyone has their own threshold, but individuality is also important and spending time alone or away from close family members has it’s time too. Pesach and bein hazmanim does mean too much togetherness for many, which is why all the suggestions to spend time alone, take a walk, go for a drive, etc. are good ones! Don’t feel guilty, this is true for any relationship and what’s unhealthy are people who need too much togetherness or too much individuality. You need to have a good balance of both so you can develop your relationship with others as well as with yourself.