September 15, 2011 5:51 pm at 5:51 pm #810105lovinghalachaMember
Right or wrong, it is an unfortunate situation. Something needs to be done to correct it in the way it will cause least possible damage. Would you advise talking to that particular family member before or after discussing it with parents?September 16, 2011 1:18 am at 1:18 am #810106bein_hasdorimParticipant
“as strong a language if he had ever seen a working platonic relationship.”
I am surprised at that comment from you. I’m sure you are aware that our Gedolim, have deep insight as well as foresight into every aspect of human relations.
It is comical to suggest as you did that Rav Moshe ZT”L was missing some info not having seen a working platonic relationship.
If your statement is even true that he had never witnessed a working environment. Which is ridiculous in itself.
These stuff are pashut even to simple folk of average intelligence. You on the other hand, (as well as others)
might not be aware of the required behavior of one, working in an environment with female/male co-workers.
There is a lot of personal banter (totally unnecessary in achieving any work required goals) that gets exchanged between male and female co-workers under the guise of just being friendly,
even dare i say “i’m just being a mentsch.”
(lest those work goals are getting chummy, being funny getting the girls to laugh (a must at work) being so overly caring.)
You can fool others, but not yourselves.
If every Ehrliche guy really did some introspection before every comment he made to his female co-workers (who I doubt are 80 years old coming in with walkers) the reason for his comments
is it REALLY necessary for business? Maybe his personal business.
You’ll find most of is chummy banter, with the hopes of appealing to opposite gender, getting a laugh, a smile, coming across as concerned etc..
Be honest with yourselves.September 16, 2011 5:25 am at 5:25 am #810108aries2756Participant
“Right or wrong, it is an unfortunate situation. Something needs to be done to correct it in the way it will cause least possible damage. Would you advise talking to that particular family member before or after discussing it with parents?”
You are not making yourself very clear here. Is it NOT about you then?September 16, 2011 5:34 am at 5:34 am #810109Sam2Participant
Fine. Let me at least say that my point has an explanation, even if the mods won’t let any explanations through.September 16, 2011 2:20 pm at 2:20 pm #810110real sourcesMember
“If every Ehrliche guy really did some introspection before every comment he made to his female co-workers (who I doubt are 80 years old coming in with walkers) the reason for his comments
is it REALLY necessary for business? Maybe his personal business”
100% correct and (almost) every man knows it.
Sam2, There is something called a yetzer hara. We all have have one. Why do you talk as if it doesn’t exist?September 16, 2011 3:29 pm at 3:29 pm #810111rikki2Member
lovinghalacha: If your parents have good judgment, and won’t overreact, (or if they won’t do anything without consulting their Rav,) you should speak to them first.
If you really feel you can’t trust them, then you should speak speak directly to a Rav or Rebbetzin you trust. If you need to, you can press *67 before you dial so they won’t know who you are.
The relative should only be spoken to after that.
Hatzlocha!September 16, 2011 3:43 pm at 3:43 pm #810112aries2756Participant
lovinghalacha, if this issue does not concern you but is in fact about someone else I would tell you to stay out of it. That is number one. It is most complicated and by getting involved you can make it worse.
If it is about you, then I would speak to your parents and maybe consider seeing a therapist that can help you sort out your emotions. It wouldd be a good idea that you stop speaking to your relative for a while, that you take a break. If when the two of you are of marriageable age and you still feel the way you do, then at that time you should weigh the pros and cons of pursuing the relationship.September 16, 2011 3:45 pm at 3:45 pm #810113Sam2Participant
Real sources: Halacha knows that there is a Yetzer Harah as well. Sometimes Halacha does something to keep us as far away as possible from it; sometimes Halacha feels that it is one we can defeat on our own and not need so much help. I am not saying that if someone feels they have a personal strong Yetzer Harah that they should ignore that if the technical Halacha will allow something. Everyone has to make sure they avoid their own Aveiros.September 16, 2011 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #810114real sourcesMember
sam2 here is a talmud yerusalmi(shabbos 1,3)that says the exact opposite of what you just said. ???? ????? ??? ???? ???? ????? ?? ???? ????? ?? ??? ??????. ???? ???. ??? ??? ???? ???????. ???? ??? ??? ???? ??? ?? ???? ??? ??? ???? ??????? ?????
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