Poetry Thread

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    Daas Yochid

    And Moderator 80

    You know as well as I do

    That Chayav’s not a lady!

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    The one you refer to

    is certainly not I,

    but in my own right,

    I’m a “shticky guy”



    i forget

    i keep reading chayav as chaya

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Howie’s now in

    Over-eaters Anonymous

    so that for his health

    he can be more autonomous

    He won’t need his shrink;

    he won’t need his mother.

    He won’t need to rely

    on any other.

    So when he goes shopping,

    he won’t buy any donuts.

    He’ll shop at the fruit store,

    he won’t go to Oh! Nuts!


    Good Shabbos,Good Shabbos

    A day with no “mouse”

    No typing,no griping,

    Just peace in the house

    The older we get

    The more it makes sense

    Shabbos teaches us


    (without being tense!)


    Ds Yochid- I’m quite amazed

    Where were you till now

    With your rhyming craze?

    I laughed out loud when I read each of your poem

    To my luck, my kids were home

    They saw me laughing & thought mom’s nuts

    Now I look like the biggest klutz.

    Your talent we now all know

    So continue to entertain us one two three go!

    This thread is so much fun

    Just read it for the first time

    I really laughed ton

    So thanks to all for your rhyme!

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    I’m still new at this rhyming,

    I’m only a rookie,

    but I thank you for your kind words,

    poster smartcookie.

    Our obsession with coffee,

    from our rest should not rob us,

    so I now will log off,

    and wish all a “Good Shabbos”!


    I wrote a poem on purple

    And about our holy day

    A compliment I seek

    Yup-pathetic–all the way!


    daas yochid u are only 1 opinion

    to make me stop talking ull need a minyan

    a bubby is allowed to enjoy

    even if im not a teenage boy

    so i get drunk whenever i need

    but to all youngsters please take heed

    getting drunk is not a simple think

    but listen to me cuz i am the king

    a few shots will last u a long time

    and if u use vodka drink it with lime

    beer is a low percentage drink

    so u wont get drunk in a blink

    wine is tha chiyuv that the rabbis say

    but hwvr u do it remember chayavinishlivisumay

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    I liked your poem, Chayav

    but there’s just one thing,

    how can a bubby

    call himself a king?

    We in the CR

    think you should come clean,

    and admit your not a grandma

    unless you’re a queen!

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    I’m sorry, watermelon,

    if you feel ignored,

    your purple poem was cute;

    it should win an award.

    Your Shabbos rhyme was moving,

    about a day with no tension;

    if not first prize,

    it gets honorable mention.



    Chayav,as a close relative of an alcoholic,and a crack addict–I consider myself experienced enough in life to tell you that you should seek the help you need–before it’s too late.

    And it’s too serious to rhyme about.


    i may be a queen and not a king

    but i needed a word that rhymed with thing


    For those of you new to the CR,Chayav is usually posting about this subject.I am not reacting to one poem.


    watermelon i think u shud contact a therapist for your relative, im only an alcoholic not a crack addict

    Shticky Guy

    I welcome myself to the poetry thread,

    a place where you dont need to much use your head.

    Writing limericks is what gets people queasy,

    but simple poetry – hah that’s too easy.

    thanx smartcookie for your ultimate compliment,

    for thinking that to daas yochid my name i had lent.

    i’m a daas yochid also, an individual guy,

    but i dont hire out my identity, thats the truth not a lie.

    while i disperse,

    these few lines of verse.

    without getting in a fluster,

    rest assured i’m not an imposter!

    Shticky Guy is my only name,

    and for other’s work i take no credit or blame.

    i can continue with poetry for ever,

    but authors of limericks are the ones really clever.

    so come join us there with a shmeichel,

    in the thread where you must really use your seichel.

    if you see a limerick written like a tzedraiter,

    you know its been written by the 80th moderator.

    He says he cant write them though i’m sure he really can.

    For he is no way your average man.

    His comments and insights and sense of humor,

    are fantastic and sharp and thats not just a rumor.

    Oldies and newies come in and say hi,

    dont leave it all to a few posters and shticky guy.

    The good limerickers are blinky, eclipse, chayav and smartcookie,

    but its great to get others, even a rookie.

    Graduate to limericks although its not kal,

    dont forsake us as did minyan gal.

    So to prove that you do know how,

    write one and post it, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Limericks are not all that dumb,

    that is my rule of thumb.

    Poems are fun,

    for me, # 1,

    But go there, you’ll see I have some.



    I don’t get what you just wrote

    Were you replying to a different poster’s note?

    Did you write to the wrong mentch?

    Please explain & be gebentcht.



    the father is an alcoholic,

    his son became a drug addict

    because it’s so much fun to be the son of an alcoholic.

    But Chazal say it’s no mitzvah to give someone advice

    they’ll ignore,

    so don’t worry,I’m done.

    I feel sorry for you,

    and all those affected by what you do.


    maybe i will go see a shrink

    but only after i have a good drink

    he’ll tell me to change gear

    ill wash his advice down with a cold beer

    its true i may be in a tough spot

    but ill forget abt it after a nice shot


    Many people would give anything to be your age again.Just remember that…

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕


    What makes you think chayav drinks?

    I’m sure neither of us knows him, but I guess he’s probably kidding around.


    Between the Limerick threads and this one…

    I haven’t the faintest idea who he is.

    i am here

    After reading all these poems

    in the room of all our homes

    off the brink we may fall

    and to the shrink we may call


    i am here,are you The New Chayav?

    (This CR made us ALL paranoid!”Trust No one”is the new mantra here!)

    Shticky Guy

    My thanks for the compliment paid to me,

    I paid smartcookie erroneously,

    I quickly glanced thru it,

    Then totally blew it,

    Cos my thanks should have gone to Blinky.

    But dont worry too much Smartcookie,

    You’ve also been very kind to me,

    With stuff I have read,

    In the limerick thread,

    Posting in things most complimentary.

    Daas yochid’s not a name that I use,

    Though I often agree with his views,

    His comments are great,

    And his humor’s first rate,

    But his identity – I havent got clues!

    Too many posters have a double,

    But if you’re trying hard to burst my bubble,

    Another identity,

    Is a complete nonentity,

    So if you’re trying I’ll save you the trouble.


    Shticky- limericks? In the poetry thread? C’mon

    Shticky Guy

    Smartcookie whats a limerick if not poetry? Anyway i posted another one there today also so stop complaining… :-]


    watermelon just take a chill

    if u really need just pop a pill

    u dont know me from a whole in the wall

    i may be short fat skinny or tall

    so let me drink to my hearts content

    but if u really want u can vent

    hwvr i must say i approve of drinking

    cuz it gets you through the day with minimal thinking

    a shot a day keeps the doctor away

    and keep in mind chayavinishlivisumay


    Shticky- don’t get me wrong! I love limericks!

    But this thread was started for the limerick handicapped!


    I agree with the “minimal thinking” part of your poem.When you are addressed respectfully,you respond with “minimal thinking”.


    Let’s stop talking bout alcohol quick

    The thought of it makes me sick

    It’s becoming a very boring line

    Every poem is about wine

    Sorry, Chyavinish that I did object

    But please, change the subject….

    Let’s shmooze about nicer stuff

    Sorry if I’m being a bit too tough 🙁


    In the cr we talk abt a lot

    But at a point the topics styart to rot

    We talk abt shidduchim

    And also zevugim

    Teens at risk and many more

    But the topics start to bore

    So I talk abt drinking cuz it causes a stir

    But they still don’t know if I’m a bubby or a mister

    I do it just for fun

    I don’t really drink rum

    Its all a big joke

    So fun you guys poke

    I’m sorry u guys didn’t chop

    So I guess ill stop


    Mazel tov,Chayav!L’chaim!


    Watermelon slow down I was just kidding

    I drink while standing and also when sitting

    I drink rightside up and upside down

    But drinking takes away everyones frowns

    Lchaim to watermalon lerts have a stiff shot

    and jhust be happy I’m drinking and not shmeffing pot


    Watermelon I’m really surprised

    Just cuz I stopped doesn’t mean u shudve compromised

    If u think its wrong to have a shot or a beer

    I wudnt expect a lchaim to hear


    To Life!!REAL life!!

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Chayav, I thought

    you had heeded the call,

    to stop all your talking

    about alcohol.

    It now seems to me, though,

    that I was mistaken,

    and that you’re a shikur,

    you will still be fakin’.


    Shticky guy its alright

    The mistake you made

    For thanking smartcookie

    On the compliment i bade

    I guess we are even

    Not sure if you remember

    on the limerick thread

    I thought you were a new member

    More on Howie:

    Howie went to the gym

    And did the treadmill

    With weights in his hands

    While running on uphill

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    I’m glad that you remembered

    to mention our friend Howard.

    I thought you were afraid to,

    but I guess you’re not a coward.


    Tell Howie,Chayav’s counseling session is over,and he is next.


    Howards pretty thin

    Because of the lifestyle he chose

    He can now wear a gartel

    And his top button he can close

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    That’s something I didn’t know,

    that Howie is chassidish,

    I knew that he was Jewish;

    but I thought that he was Swedish.

    Reminds me of the Journeys song: (Abie Rotenberg)

    But now they call him Chaim’l

    and on Shabbos wears a shtreim’l

    ’cause their buried faith ignited

    while flying on United

    to the atheists’ convention in LA.


    Hey i know that rhyme

    It was sung by Abie

    Chaim used to be Howie

    but he changed his name-maybe?

    I guess he can be litvish

    lets change the gartel to a belt

    Its almost the same thing

    The only difference is in the gelt


    There is something very special

    About Yiddishkeit,

    We are all here for eachother,

    Every day and night.

    If you are Litvish or Chassidish,

    Or wear a jacket or bekeshe,

    If you speak English or Yiddish,

    We are still areivim zeh lazeh.

    White socks black socks,

    Streimel or black hatter,

    Curly peyos or none,

    It doesn’t even matter.

    Clean shaven or beard,

    Who even cares?

    Achdus keeps us together,

    Throughout all the years!

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    It is, indeed, essential,

    that we should all be together,

    regardless of what kind of kippah,

    knitted, velvet, or leather.

    With one point I must take exception,

    this point is “l’chol hadeyos”.

    Although they may not need to curl,

    a man may not cut off his peyos.

    (I know you didn’t mean it that way.)


    How’s our friend Howie,

    I haven’t heard from him in awhile

    Is he still chassidish

    Or did he change his style

    Did you speak to him

    I hope he is Ok

    I really miss him

    Please let me know today!

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Howie is fine,

    he’s just on vacation.

    I won’t be in touch

    for the duration.

    Fret not ’bout his health;

    he won’t come to harm.

    He’s spending his time off

    on a fat farm!


    Why do some threads end up online and some not?

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Why do some threads end up online and some not?

    I’m not sure what you mean…

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