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Is it appropriate???
I don’t think that there is anything wrong with it. When I see pictures of friends and people that I know and did not addend the simcha, I get such enjoyment seeing the happy couple and their families. I feel that I had a chailek somehow in the simcha.
agrees with doodle
fahkert i think that it is not tznius at all. the whole world is looking at those pictures. and most times more frum people dont post pictures so obviously its not tznius
so don’t enjoy the pictures of my daughter’s & son’s weddings that went up there last year! B’H
possibly ayin hora?
chayav, on the Tznius issue, in many of the photographers’ store windows in Boro Park and other v e r y frum neighborhoods, Kallah pictures are displayed regularly and have been displayed for as long as I can remember. It’s not a new idea. Those who dont look at women in various states of undress, shouldnt be going to the beach/boardwalk area. Why do those who feel that looking at pictures of couples isnt proper, want to go to Onlysimchas in the first place? Let them stick to the Heimishe papers for Simcha news or start their own site with no pictures.
seriously if it was such an issue the rabbanim would ban it!
Just because certain types of frum people CHOOSE not to do Some people do not want to join Facebook, and this is a great way to see pictures. There is nothing “obviously” immodest about it. You don’t want to do it – so don’t. Add my name to doodle’s list.
The issue I have is that most people seem to be kofuy tovah to the RSO and the are touching their kalla. If this is in public imagine in private. VHMY
js, “The issue I have is that most people seem to be kofuy tovah to the RSO and the are touching their kalla. If this is in public imagine in private. VHMY”
I have never seen one frum couple touching! Obviously if they’re touching theyre NOT Shomer and are in a different category frumkeit-wise!
Shomer means I watch, some people don’t watch some peple do the term is wrong whoever made up that term usid liten es hadin.
Its assur and according to most its yerag val yavor. Its not something by choice that you put yourself in a catagory and then you could do what you want. Guess what life is not a joke.
People have to be careful about the photographer they hire. There are a lot of photographers advertising that they handle frum simchas, but during the photography they try to arrange poses that are not appropriate. Of course it is up to those who are posing to refuse, but in the moment being photographed and caught offguard it may slip by. The advertisements should say whether the photographers will adhere strictly to tznius guidelines while shooting the photos.
js, SHOMER SHMOMER, whatever name you give it, is immaterial! If they’re touching, they’re not frum, if they’re not frum, they touch! Whats to discuss?
So look arouse and you will see “frum” people unfortunately
ofcourse- they go to only simchas so that they can leave a comment wishing wazal tov to their friend and because they want to seee what others said. its the only place to see the mazal tovs and get gossip along with it
A husband and wife are not allowed to show chiba in public. That would presumably exclude holding hands in public. Posting pictures online sounds like public.
Just because someone doesn’t keep one halacha, I don’t know if I would call them “not frum”.
However, the issue of holding hands at the wedding is more complicated. Actually, many chassidim have a minhag that the chosson and kalla specifically do hold hands coming from the chuppaedited.
So it seems that if you do it, you at least have who to rely on- even if following your background you really should not be relying on those opinions.
not tznius to post. not tznius to hand in your public area at home (living room) either. would you want your guest to be sitting there looking at your wife? why? certainly not tznius!
jewish source and chayav,your glasses getting foggy?
Funny typos!
OY! I see trouble, right here in River City.
chayav – If you think its not tznius then dont visit their website.
I’m with doodle too. JS- First, be dan l’kaf zechus and dont try and guess what ppl are doing in private.Second, I assume you meant “around” not “arouse”(although the slip is quite comical)
I am the first to be Dan lekaf Zechus but the fact is a picture is woth a thousand words
Nothing wrong with any of the pictures of the married couples. And how would you know about it, unless you are on the site looking at them?
The issue I have is that most people seem to be kofuy tovah to the RSO and the are touching their kalla.
OK, perhaps I’m a little dense, but I don’t see the connection. How is touching one’s kallah (after marriage, of course) being kofuy tovah to the RSO?
Please explain the connection.
Its assur and according to most its yerag val yavor.
Please clarify… what, exactly, is yehareg v’al ya’avor WRT this discussion?
The Wolf
i think jewish source is talking about the problem where they are touching after engagement but before marriage, as many onlysimchas engagement photos unfortunately show.
to all of you that say dont look at their pictures if you think its wrong, you are proving my point. i have a yatzer hara that tries to get me to look, so if im on the site and there are no pictures there will be no problem
he is also right about even if it is after marriage, while you can touch obviously, but you cant do so in public (and the photos are taken in front of others and are going to be public.)
i think jewish source is talking about the problem where they are touching after engagement but before marriage
That’s why I’m asking for a clarification. His statement could also be read that one shouldn’t touch a spouse in public after marriage — and that it is a yeharig v’al ya’avor.
I don’t want to argue against a foe that does not exist.
The Wolf
chayav, do you really think Onlysimchas will prohibit pictures from now on?
i dont think either case is yeharig v’al ya’avor
Many Gadols say the internet is Assur…but there are plenty of us here. where do you draw the line? Onlysimchas by mere fact that I have seen women wearing pants and or touching before marriage is promoting a very untznius lifestyle…but who am i to judge as I have a facebook page…whats the point of my rambling? Not sure, but I bet there are bigger fish to fry….
chayiv – If you think its assur to look at the pictures, (which you may be right about) then DO NOT log onto their site. The same way you dont log onto any other shmutzadika triefa site.
mikehall WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE. i thinjk thats a place to draw the line, i personally have covenant eyes on my computer
realbrisker-well if its a jewish site its lifnay eiver
chayav – The whole internet is lifnay eiver.
Walking on the street is Lifnei Iver too.
the whole internet is lifnay iever and the maker will probably get a large portion of gehenom
Ofcourse- how can walking on the street be lifnay eiver. clearly you dont know what it means. walking on the strreet is lifnay eiver if you are dressed untzniusly
chayav – If you agree that the internet is lifnay eiver, then why are youu shifting the blame on only simchos?
“he is also right about even if it is after marriage, while you can touch obviously, but you cant do so in public (and the photos are taken in front of others and are going to be public.)”
That is your sevara, but not everyone feels the same way about married couples touching after the chasunah. Obviously we are not talking about graphic affectionate behavior, but holding hands? Please. I know a choshuvah Rov who INSISTS on the chosson and kallah holding hands when they walk down from the chuppah and also when they come back into the seudah room.
This is just going to be another one of those threads where those who do what they approve of are frum and those who don’t are not according to them. They will never stop judging others while they themselves will not look in the mirror and see what they are doing wrong. What right does one have to judge what others do, when as many of us keep saying if you are so holy and you know that the gedolim and daas torah do not approve of you being on the internet chatting with others, why are you here?
Why is it that what THEY do is wrong because YOUR RAV holds that way, but what YOU do is not wrong because YOU don’t want it to be.
chayav, we have no control over how people are dressed on the street, in most neighborhoods. Also, modesty means lots of different things to different people.
oomis
There is an inyan to hold hands going to the yichud room. The man is supposed to walk slightly pull the woman there. For kinyan reasons.
This is not the same as holding hands in public which is an expression of affection.
There are those couples who don’t hold from nigiah, big surprise. And they post their engagement pics on Onlysimchas. You have a problem with this because you have a yetzer hora to go there and look at the pictures and this becomes everyone else’s problem? THEY are wrong because YOU can’t control your yetzer horah to be on the internet and go look at their pictures?
Are we seriously having this discussion? Shouldn’t we be discussing ways to control your yetzer horah instead?
Ari, negia is a Halacha, its not an opinion, and I find the entire posting photos of young ladies distasteful.
Its not tzanua to post pictures of women on the web.
Do people use onlysimchas anymore? Isn’t that so 1999?
and I find the entire posting photos of young ladies distasteful.
That’s fine… but that’s your opinion and clearly not normative halacha.
I had a fellow who tried to convince me that any photography of women was wrong. According to him, every picture I took of my daughter from birth onward was a sin and a breach of tznius. Obviously, I disagreed with him. The problem was that he failed to realize that this was NOT normative halacha and was only his opinion/mehalech. If he wants to not take any pictures of his daughter, that’s his business, but he has no right to tell me that taking a picture of my daughter, mother, wife (or any other woman for that matter) is a sin.
The Wolf
with that rational, I wonder what his wedding pictures would look like?
Wolf,
According to him, every picture I took of my daughter from birth onward was a sin
From birth onward? This person said from birth?
I wonder what his wedding pictures would look like?
Don’t know. Last I saw of him (and, admittedly, it was years ago and things may have changed since then) he was not yet married.
The Wolf
Wolf, that’s just because his wife is invisible 🙂
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