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Okay so the thing is i think that i’ve needed to go to a psychologist for a few years now but i haven’t gone. Baruch Hashem with the help of my awesome friend i have made major imporvements. I believe truly that it is healthy for every person to go to a psychologist especially at teenage stage of life because we all have doubts and things we need help with. Well anyway some people talk to their parents, but mine aren’t the type. I really think it would be very beneficial to my health and relationships to go to a psychologist but the thing is i can’t bring myself to tell my parents or anyone. only 3 people know and only 1 really knows the whole story. Do you have any advice what i should do?
Advice for what?
BTW, who is paying the shrink?
Yes. Just spill your guts here, like everyone else.
There are frum organizations that do referrals and such for psychologists,etc and they do keep it completely private. but dr seuss brought up a good pt. and i do think for urself it’d be most beneficial to let your parents in on this. even if it’d be hard.otherwise you’d also be dealing w hiding it and that pressure….
I am sure you didn’t really mean every person, rather every person that has issues.
While I agree with that, please keep in mind that there some physologists that can actually ruin your life. Do your homework before its to late!
I think you should really let your parents know that you would like to talk to them and if not, let them know that you need someone to vent to or talk to and that you would prefer a therapist/psychologist because this isnt something you would like to talk to your friends with and you would like someone who you wouldnt have to get too personal with like you would have to with a friend. You could get personal with the psychologist and tell them whatever you want but it doesnt mean that the psychologist would take it personal since she/he is experienced with this. She would just give you good advice and a lending ear.
Sorry for the run on sentences. And good luck!
Hi,
It sounds like you would like help with something but are not comfortable talking to your parents about the issue.
If that is so, why don’t you just tell them that.
I.e. ‘there is something that is bothering me/ that I’m worried about, and I’d like to talk to a professional about- can you help me (literally and financially) find someone confidential to talk to?’
If you go to the website of relief (reliefhelp.org) you will find their contact info and you (or your parents) can call and ask for a referral. They are completely confidential and can tell you which therapists take insurance or have a sliding scale fee schedule.
If your parents can’t/won’t help you, don’t be afraid to call Relief on your own, if this is something important, you should take care of it now, before it becomes something bigger…. and if it turns out to be nothing, then you’ll be able to relax and not worry about it anymore.
Hatslacha!
Psychological problems are like any other health problems, and the sooner its treated the better. At least go over to an adult who is a mumcha in this. Otherwise it will get worse and worse. It can never hurt to go to the doctor, especially a problem in the mind. If you arent married then notice it will prob get worse when being in constant discourses with your spouse. You feel comfortable right now, but your scared of what will happen in the future. Like ppl who are prone to get problems they have to take care of themselves early on so to you should take care of this as soon as a psychologist will see you.
“i love coffe it’s not that i don’t want to get to personal it’s just that i want a professsonal that can tell me truly how to get rid of certain things and not just supress it like i’ve been doing for the past few years.”
So just tell your parents exactly what you told me. I dont know your parents but im sure they can understsand.
BTW, I think it was very mature of you that you were able to realize that you were dealing with certain situations/doubts and hopefully you would make the smart desicion of telling your parents. If they are not willing to pay for a psychologist maybe you can talk to a rabbi or a techer/counselor. Maybe all you need is a mentor… Try to keep your options open if they are available.
figuringitout- i feel for you. I know (or at least i think i do) what you are going through. There was a time in my life where I was also going through something really tough. The difference is that my parents were the ones who wanted me to seek psychological help. I refused though because the whole idea just didn’t appeal to me. But baruch hashem I had an amazing friend who helped me a great deal and I got over those issues. I don’t really think that you should feel like you definitely have to see a psychologist but i don’t really know your situation. Never underestimate the power of a good friend, though. I wish you all the best and I hope you are able to get through this stage in your life easily. the coffee room is a great place to talk though ( unless someone knows who you are on here, then it’s awkward)
You didn’t mention who any of the ppl who “know” are, but if any of them are older and/or influential in any way (ex: teacher), maybe they could do some research with/for you and possibly even help you talk to your parents…..?
Ur not at all the only one who feels like that abt their parents. I was in a similar situ. A mentor convinced me to go to a psych, either with or without telling my parents. But looking back once i got more into it, i wished i’d had the courage to tell my parents right away so it was out in the open and easier. my parents are not the type either, also i’m often scared to let them down or insult them, but its not always a maaleh. so i’d suggest for ur own benefit, override your instincts and tell them. if they say they can’t do it, then u can go on to call yourself.
“I believe truly that it is healthy for every person to go to a psychologist especially at teenage stage of life”
definitely agree. been there done that. I was also a regular teenager-good family and school etc. yet i desperately needed someone to talk to. Discussig it with my parents was one of the hardest parts. Yet, Looking back speaking to a perfessional was one of the best moves ever. SeRiously. dont know how to give you specific advice about how to tell your parents, without knowing you. I could just assure you (from personal experience)that its certainly worth the effort. Your doing the right thing-dont doubt it for a second!
Hatzlochah!
cinderella- while talking to a friend can be really helpful sometimes it is not always so good to completely lean on a friend especially if the issues are big. I did this and completely alienated a couple of friends because of it. It just became too overwhelming for them to hear about my issues and they just did not know how to deal with it. Also, many times the friends themselves are struggling with some issues of their own so it could get overwhelming for them or they could give advice that sounds amazing and technically could be amazing but in the long run could be detrimental. I think depending on how large the problem is it is worth finding a really GREAT therapist. She is trained to help you and her ideals or own “issues” will not get in the way of her helping you cope or figure things out.
BUT I am also not saying that you shouldn’t speak to a friend. Just don’t put the whole major burden on his/her shoulder. It could stimes be way too much for them to carry around by themselves!
Sorry this post is so long, I just have a lot of strong feelings about this since I have been there, done that.
Again, do your research.
I am aware of two cases, in which started to be minor cases, however the therapists blew it. Causing the problem to become much worse.
I’m not one for giving advice, especially because I don’t know you or your situation, but it sounds like this is something that is really giving you agmas nefesh, and there’s no reason to push off improving your quality of life. (Even if it’ll be easier in EY, why make this a focal point of your sem year?) I don’t think I need to tell you this though ;), especially based on your last sentence which sounds like you really want to be proactive….
About who to tell…
If you asked me personally, I’d vote for teacher, but that’s just because I don’t like keeping things so close and I usually prefer involving as few people as possible. I don’t know you. However, if you discuss it with a teacher (not necessarily your actual issues, but just the issue of wanting therapy) you feel you could trust and would be mature about it, and would have the ability/resources to help you, that could be a great option because it would give you an additional bonus as an adult mentor who is sometimes just nice to bounce things off of. I’m sure there are other bonuses that you could think of as well….
As for a friend’s mother, if you have such a relationship with her and feel that she would do a good job of explaining, especially if she knows your mother and her personality well, I see how that could be a great option as well. Again, I’m sure you can think of other reasons that I wouldn’t know….
I wish I could give you a definitive answer either way. I think it’s really awesome that you’re trying to figure things out, and I give you a lot of credit – it takes a lot of strength!
Hatzlacha!
You don’t describe what type of problems you want to speak to the psychologist about, but you mention a fear of dogs. There are different types of psychologists out there, meaning that there are different methods of dealing with “psychological” issues – talking it out, behavioral therapy, etc. Different problems can be best “treated” with different methods. Like if you are afraid of dogs, then behavioral therapy would help a lot with that since they try to desensitize you to your fear rather than simply “talking about it”. Does that make sense? Now if you have fears about a lot of things, then maybe talking about fear as a general would help, possibly in conjunction with behavioral therapy to deal with your most bothersome fears.
By the way, where did you learn that psychological treatment is free in EY?
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