Raising your child from Birth to Marriage

Home Coffeeroom Family Matters Raising your child from Birth to Marriage

Viewing 16 posts - 1 through 16 (of 16 total)
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  • #1551434

    jakob
    Participant

    Which child do you feel is more expensive to raise the boy or the girl?

    From the boy with the Bar mitzva and Learning in Israel etc…

    To the girl with expensive clothing, seminary and paying for most of the wedding etc….

    What is your opinion

    #1551823

    iacisrmma
    Participant

    What’s the difference? Do you have a choice before the child is born to decide on the gender?

    #1551836

    laskern
    Participant

    My daughter studied in Israel for a year. Girls over here were a uniform except Rosh Chodesh, Shabbos and Yom Tov.

    #1551842

    Financial or.psychological

    #1551852

    jakob
    Participant

    Financially

    If you made 2 separate accounts of all the expenses from Birth to marriage 1 for your son and other for your daughter which one would come out higher and by how much? With the high expenses each one has at specific times.

    #1551886

    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    Oh man, i didn’t know it stops by marriage. Gotta tell my parents

    #1551998

    WinnieThePooh
    Participant

    Laskern- in Israel (and also many schools in the US as well), BY girls wear a uniform to school (which needs to be purchased) but besides shabbos/yom tov, they still need clothing for vacation days (2 months in the summer) and many change when they come home from school as well so that they don’t dirty the uniform. So expenses for clothing for girls still adds up.
    While a suit and hat or 2 for a bar mitzva age boy are expensive, a girl usually gets more shabbos clothing than the boy does, so it still probably comes out more expensive, especially as they get older.

    It is an interesting question- I would say, for younger kids, boys are more expensive (think bris, more diapers if boys take longer to toilet-train than girls, then bar mitzva, and here in Israel, girls BY schools are with a few exceptions free, while boys’ chadarim/talmudei Torah charge tuitiion), but as they get older, girls get more expensive- clothing, seminary (way more expensive than boys’ yeshivos), and then of course the big one- wedding expenses and associated clothing and new household purchases, and often support/apartment for the married couple- although technically the OP asked only until marriage, since promises for support are usually given before the marriage, which are conditional on it, I am including it.

    #1552033

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    We raised and married off 5 children, 2 boys, 3 girls.
    The girls definitely cost more to raise through marriage.
    The education cost was the same, Tuition for day school, yeshiva high school, college and law school was not sex dependent.
    The girls had far more clothing than the boys and while a oy might wear the same suit from year to year until it was outgrown, a young lady needs (wants) new styles each season. Add to that the cost of accessories (handbags, scarves, jewelry, cosmetics and the costs go through the roof.
    Our children all received cars at the same age, similar cost.
    Wedding gowns cost more than Bar Mitzvah suit, hat and tefillin.
    Weddings cost way more than B’nai Mitzvah (we paid 100%).
    Unlike, others we did not furnish/equip the young couples’ homes. They were earning real incomes at time of marriage.
    One year in EY after high school and before college for learning, similar cost.
    Boys’ car insurance was higher, Girls’ medical expenses were higher, boys didn’t see dermatologist, gynecologist, etc.
    Overall, it cost about 25% more, adjusted for inflation, to raise our girls than the boys.

    #1552036

    Participant
    Participant

    “more diapers if boys take longer to toilet-train than girls, ” is that a fact?

    #1552148

    Joseph
    Participant

    Is that why Chazal teach us to celebrate the birth of a boy much greater than the birth of a girl?

    Are sons more desirable than daughters?

    #1552300

    WinnieThePooh
    Participant

    Participant – ““more diapers if boys take longer to toilet-train than girls, ” is that a fact?'”

    how could it be a fact with the word “if” in the sentence? I’ve heard that claim made but don’t know if it is true.

    #1552429

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Boys take longer to train because their mothers train them, and their mothers are women.

    #1552430

    Participant
    Participant

    For those who couldn’t read Winnies’s post:

    WinnieThePooh wrote:

    Participant – ““more diapers if boys take longer to toilet-train than girls, ” is that a fact?’”

    how could it be a fact with the word “if” in the sentence? I’ve heard that claim made but don’t know if it is true.

    and now me:
    Actually, that’s how it should be a fact. The word “if” makes it true even if they don’t take longer.

    #1552544

    I. M. Shluffin
    Participant

    Yeah, girls have a uniform for a few years. That should save you a few bucks. Shtark boys, on the other hand, don’t need to change their clothes EVER. Seriously, no one would notice. It’s the same black and white every day. It may as well be the same shirt and pants.

    #1554069

    funnybone
    Participant

    Doesnt it cost more to feed a boy? Bochurim can pack down a meal!

    #1558368

    I. M. Shluffin
    Participant

    Yachol. They may eat a lot of food, but in reality, it doesn’t actually need to cost much slash even be edible. They don’t really care what they eat, as long as it’s a lot of it. I had a boy in my class who used to eat paper towels and suck markers. You could just put bbq sauce or cholent gravy on whatever you’re serving – chicken bones, pickles, cornflakes, you name it – and they’re satisfied.

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