Regarding recent cofferoom DRAMA
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- This topic has 40 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 9 months ago by ☕️coffee addict.
August 29, 2016 11:13 pm at 11:13 pm #618265
I would like to personally send out an apology to anyone I may have hurt however I would like to add that if u get hurt and all sensitive from what a random stranger says online I think there’s a deeper problem involved….#imhoAugust 30, 2016 12:36 am at 12:36 am #1176231popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Now you’re just a random stranger to us? I’m insulted.August 30, 2016 1:05 am at 1:05 am #1176232
Popa……Hmmm….that was the point.August 30, 2016 1:22 am at 1:22 am #1176233
not exactly cause even though we don’t know who they are or if it’s she or he we definetly get a sense of the personality of that person, besides we want to be respected. Even just for self respect.August 30, 2016 4:24 am at 4:24 am #1176234
I didn’t realize one could be hurt or insulted by Mr. Or Mrs. Anonymous. Don’t we rule that damages for “boshes” are determined by the social standing of the embarrassed party and the one doing the embarrassing? Do random anonymous internet people even make the bottom rung of the ladder of social standing?August 30, 2016 11:20 am at 11:20 am #1176235
apushua- just because you are sure (or almost sure) one will not be hurt, it’s assur to hurt a fellow Jew. Never does it say in the torah “Don’t say loshon hora about other unless they don’t mind”August 30, 2016 11:44 am at 11:44 am #1176236
Happygirlygirl – It’s great that you are apologizing in case you hurt anyone. I actually don’t remember your ever saying anything that could be interpreted as offensive – in fact, I think that you have always been very sweet, friendly, and polite.
I do think though that some might find it offensive to be told that they shouldn’t be offended by things that posters write. I was a TEENY bit offended by that actually. And I don’t agree that it means that someone has an issue if they are offended. The people posting are real people, and it is always upsetting to be insulted by anyone.
Hope you are not offended by my comments. :”August 30, 2016 11:51 am at 11:51 am #1176237
Perhaps some people are too harsh, difficult, insulting, etc. But the ‘DRAMA’ doesn’t come from the offensive content. It doesn’t even come from those who, rightly or wrongly, take offence. It happens because inadvertent comments turn into full-blown dramatic, emotional arguments, with the threads become nauseatingly self-referential and off-topic. The issue is those who cause the ‘drama’ to become the main conversation on the thread (and I think most of us would agree on the most common culprits), and on the remaining posters who allow this to take place (as opposed to simply ignoring it and moving on without them).
Do not feed the ‘drama’August 30, 2016 1:52 pm at 1:52 pm #1176238
NeutiquamErro – and there are also people who are trolls who are insulting and mean to other posters. i think for now since you keep insulting me i wont be reading your posts anymore.August 30, 2016 1:55 pm at 1:55 pm #1176239
Is Do not feed the drama the new do not feed the trolls?August 30, 2016 2:20 pm at 2:20 pm #1176241☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
I didn’t realize one could be hurt or insulted by Mr. Or Mrs. Anonymous. Don’t we rule that damages for “boshes” are determined by the social standing of the embarrassed party and the one doing the embarrassing? Do random anonymous internet people even make the bottom rung of the ladder of social standing?
Apushatayid, does that comment shtim with this one?
Halacha is unanimous that taking pot shots at other people (and I am not referring to me) is a violation of the lav of onaas devarim even if done on a website with the word yeshiva in its name.August 30, 2016 2:32 pm at 2:32 pm #1176242
Shopping613: In my opinion, it’s one and the same.
And I will fulfil my own request by trying to ignore the incessant trolling and amateur dramatics. This is starting to get ridiculous.August 30, 2016 2:33 pm at 2:33 pm #1176243
#withyouallthewayAugust 30, 2016 3:31 pm at 3:31 pm #1176245ChortkovParticipant
NeutiquamErro: But what did I say that annoyed you? All i meant was to tell everyone that I am fine and I don’t need any help, thank you very much, and then when I asked for help everyone ignored me and started offering advice! How could I not be dramatic about that?
#KeepTheHashtagsBanTheDramaAugust 30, 2016 4:02 pm at 4:02 pm #1176246
Yekke2: I hope, nay, pray, that that was a postmodern ironic parody of the very phenomenon I was addressing. Bearing that in mind, I had hoped people would realise that repeatedly posting #hashtagban whilst simultaneously hashtagging was meant in the same vein of irony as your post above.
#imeantamateurdramatics #amdram #amdramban #hashtagbanAugust 30, 2016 5:17 pm at 5:17 pm #1176247
DY. Taking potshots at named or strongly implied people and/or organizations is most certainly assur, the thread where you lifted that from makes clear (to me anyway) that specific groups or people were had in mind. In this thread we are discussing completely anonymous people. If you disagree with the distinction, so be it.August 30, 2016 6:01 pm at 6:01 pm #1176248kapustaParticipant
It seemed to me that much of the drama was based on the attitude and tone rather than the content. I’ve been there, and I know how easy it is (especially online, sometimes in real life) for things to come across a bit stronger than you intended, be it a response in a debate or an opinion on something a bit controversial. I’m posting this as a request because I have a feeling said posters are genuinely unaware and would appreciate being made aware of it.August 30, 2016 8:23 pm at 8:23 pm #1176249
LU ….thank you for the compliments and i love u dearly but herez a tip if u ever get insulted by a comment of an online anonymous poster just pretend they’re a bald homeless guy in central park that way you won’t feel so badAugust 30, 2016 8:56 pm at 8:56 pm #1176250
Perhaps the frum people in the world want kosher drama. I’m sure instead of seeing which hollywood couples are together, some people come here and see who is arguing with who today.August 31, 2016 12:21 am at 12:21 am #1176251
I just want to point out that if someone sees someone else being attacked, it seems to me that if they don’t say anything, they may also be guilty, like by Kamtza and Bar Kamtza. As hurt as I am when I am attacked, it is even more upsetting when almost no one stands up for me.
My sincerest thanks and appreciation to those who have stood up for me!August 31, 2016 12:28 am at 12:28 am #1176252JosephParticipant
lilmod, I had defended you rather strongly in a contentious conversation fairly recently but the powers that be didn’t see it fit to print. Make note.
Are you sure a vote of confidence from Joseph will improve her image 😉August 31, 2016 12:36 am at 12:36 am #1176253
L.U. as I posted on the other thread .It’s painful to watch when there is an argument or someones being attacked .Everyone feels the pain we stand aside because we don’t know what to say .Not to hurt anyone .All we want to YELL please STOP .Be freinds again!!!!!!August 31, 2016 12:37 am at 12:37 am #1176254
Joseph, I actually had you in mind when I wrote this:
“My sincerest thanks and appreciation to those who have stood up for me!”
Thank you for letting me know that I have more to thank you for than I realized!!
“Are you sure a vote of confidence from Joseph will improve her image ;)”
People seem to have this negative attitude towards Joseph – I really don’t see why…August 31, 2016 1:08 am at 1:08 am #1176255
In the old days, Joseph was notorious for his multiple screen names.
(Recently bumped example: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/brides-wedding-vow-to-obey-husband – Ctrl+F for Joseph.
Both then and now, Joseph has a reputation for being
likely the most right-wing poster on the Coffee Room.August 31, 2016 1:08 am at 1:08 am #1176256
Where are the threads with all this drama, anyway?
I’ve been off for about a week.August 31, 2016 1:26 am at 1:26 am #1176257
Comlink – x: “Both then and now, Joseph has a reputation for being
likely the most right-wing poster on the Coffee Room.”
He’s also one of the nicer ones. And there’s nothing wrong with being right-wing.August 31, 2016 1:36 am at 1:36 am #1176258
That might depend on just how far to the right you are.
(I might have used “right wingtip” sometime in the past.)August 31, 2016 1:49 am at 1:49 am #1176259
Comlink-X – what do you mean by right wing?August 31, 2016 1:54 am at 1:54 am #1176260
Comlink-x, the point of my comment was not so that people should start saying bad things about Joseph. I probably was not so careful in how I phrased it. I was just trying to say that I think he is very nice and people should stop knocking him.August 31, 2016 1:54 am at 1:54 am #1176261
I didn't realize one could be hurt or insulted by Mr. Or Mrs. Anonymous.
If someone insults you, but you don’t know who they are, it doesn’t hurt?
Don't we rule that damages for "boshes" are determined by the social standing of the embarrassed party and the one doing the embarrassing?
That is not the same thing.
Do random anonymous internet people even make
the bottom rung of the ladder of social standing?
This is a specific social setting which has its own standings,
which are real whether halachically relevant or not.August 31, 2016 2:07 am at 2:07 am #1176262
Sparkly- right wing means conservative in this case meaning he is nit liberal in his views…he is strict constructionist in halachaAugust 31, 2016 4:00 am at 4:00 am #1176263Little FroggieParticipant
I have wanted to respond. I was following a bit and got upset when you were so attacked. I actually did once, long ago, very long ago, respond with a feste ‘piece’ defending another one who was personally attacked here. Oh those good days…
A lot has happened here. Sometimes by defending a poster, I myself end up getting attacked, bashed, hurt. I’m from that kind of species that takes things, um, deep. Things that go past others, can easily hurt me. I’m sometimes not ready for a full-fledged fight.. I have so much toned down since those grand old days… The fun we had… (and for the record.. I have NOT willingly hurt another poster, EVER.)
I’m with you as far as Hashkafah, it’s a breath of fresh air.. someone who’s prolific and states things the way they are and should be… A Yiddishe Nachas to see. I just don’t have the koach to fight off your attackers… I was bitten here, big-time…(putting it mildly)
There’s another thing for you to know, seems like you’re pretty new to the CR, I didn’t follow enough of your posts to really figure you out (ie male/female, age group, social standing etc). From the few I read, you come across as an intelligent person with hashkafah screwed on right! There’s a wide range of our postership hashkafa levels. Not everyone is on the same page as you. When you state something which should be obvious, sensible, sometimes ‘the truth hurts’. And that causes some to respond, defend their positions. Been here long enough!!August 31, 2016 4:20 am at 4:20 am #1176264
Happygirlygirl – so im right wing since i try going by halacha?August 31, 2016 4:45 am at 4:45 am #1176265
Little Froggie, thanks so much for your support! “When you state something which should be obvious, sensible, sometimes ‘the truth hurts’. And that causes some to respond, defend their positions.” I think you are right about that. I think what upsets me in particular is when other posters are either not paying attention to every post or are not shrewd enough to catch insinuations and don’t even realize when someone is being attacked, and mistake the attacked for the attacker.
But again, thanks for your support!August 31, 2016 4:54 pm at 4:54 pm #1176266
Comlink-x. so, you are insulted or hurt when some random anonymous internet person says something not nice to you?August 31, 2016 5:24 pm at 5:24 pm #1176267
If no one notices that your being attacked then from whom are you insulted from tha attacker ? Thats his problem he did the spitting.September 1, 2016 1:25 am at 1:25 am #1176268
This is weird!
I’m trying to find the argument that you had and I can’t find it, was there another one besides barryLS1 caution, because all the other threads where you two posted (where I saw) you weren’t arguing with each other, is it because she called you out on hearin L”h?
I’m not trying to start up anything I’m looking for shalom
That unfortunate exchange was part of a conversation which never should have taken place in the first place, and has since been deleted.
Coffee is correct, he cannot find it because i did not occur – 29September 1, 2016 2:32 am at 2:32 am #1176269
“I’m trying to find the argument that you had and I can’t find it,”
I have no idea. I didn’t have any arguments that I know of.September 1, 2016 2:39 am at 2:39 am #1176271
“That unfortunate exchange was part of a conversation which never should have taken place in the first place, and has since been deleted.”
Can you explain? I have no clue what you are talking about!
smartphone threadSeptember 1, 2016 2:40 am at 2:40 am #1176272
If it took place it should’ve occurred (even though it shouldn’t have)
There were two mods respondingSeptember 1, 2016 2:44 am at 2:44 am #1176273
I have no idea. I didn’t have any arguments that I know of.
Then what was this about?
Syag – I have decided that from now on, I am bli neder not responding to any of your attacks against me personally. I don’t know why you persist in attacking me. I have tried discussing your criticisms against me politely, but you insist on ignoring me, so I am ignoring your criticisms that are against ME from now on. I really do not like arguing with people. I would have been happy to have a polite discussion with you, but you have continually refused to do so.
When people feel liked they’re being attacked it’s usually from an argument/ disagreement
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