Saying Good Shabbos

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  • #594877

    yogibooboo
    Member

    Do you say “Good Shabbos” to people? Even opposite gender? I always say good shabbos and people may or may not answer. But to me it doesnt matter the gender. What do you think?

    #741109

    1dayatatime
    Participant

    Only to same Gender, thats the accepted M’halech in BP

    #741110

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Didn’t we have this discussion recently?

    I say Good Shabbos (or simply “Good Morning” if the person does not appear Jewish) to just about everybody I pass on Shabbos — man or woman, adult or child, Jew or non-Jew.

    The Wolf

    #741111

    smartcookie
    Member

    Wolf- 3rd thread on this topic. =0

    #741112

    yentingyenta
    Participant

    if its a women, i always say good shabbos/morning. only if a guy says it first, or i know the person (ie, relative or family friend) then i do answer.

    #741113

    bpt
    Participant

    I’d say good shabbos to either gender, if they’re CR members. Otherwise, its same gender only in NY, out of town, I follow my host’s lead.

    And yes, we have had this discussion before. But worth having again. seeing as this is a weekly senario

    #741114

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I’d say good shabbos to either gender, if they’re CR members

    good line

    #741115

    blinky
    Participant

    I’d say good shabbos to either gender, if they’re CR members

    being that you don’t know if they are or not, i guess your stuck greeting everyone…

    The next time a man says good shabbos in BP to me ur cover will be blown

    #741116

    oomis
    Participant

    I say it to everyone, but in a low voice to men who are not known to me personally. And I will ALWAYS answer GS to someone who says it first to me.

    #741117

    smartcookie
    Member

    I’d say good shabbos to either gender, if they’re CR members.

    Therefore, I say GS to all BP Tottys 😉

    #741118

    kapusta
    Participant

    I say to women or a woman walking with her husband. I wouldn’t say first to a man but I would probably answer.

    Some of the reactions are hysterical.

    *kapusta*

    #741119

    nishtdayngesheft
    Participant

    Depends on the day of the week. Depends if they know what “Shabbos” means. (Or like the joke goes, if they know what “good” means.) But definitely not to dogs or cats.

    #741120

    yogibooboo
    Member

    i say it to all genders i dont care. everyone is a human being and deserves to be treated as such. I just can not not say Good Shabbos to anyone(unless of course i dont like them 🙂 jk)

    #741121

    cshapiro
    Member

    i think its a very brooklyn thing not to say good shabbos to people u dont know….but when i was in toronto a guy said good shabbos to me from across the street…maybe thats cause people are just friendlier out there in general?!?!

    #741122

    popcorn
    Member

    I once visited Los Angeles for a Shabbos and everyone from all Shuls (all types of people) say “Gut Shabbos” to one another while walking to and from Shul or on a Shabbos afternoon walk.

    It’s not limited to gender. I have to say it’s wonderful!

    In New York when you say “Gut Shabbos” to people they look you up and down and wonder “Do I know who that is” and wonder why I said Gut Shabbos to them…(even to people of my own gender).

    #741123

    dunno
    Member

    Since when are so many CR members from BP??

    I say good shabbos to all females. I answer to all males. I find it pathetic though when guys around my age are immature and say good shabbos with a “knowing wink”.

    #741124

    shlishi
    Member

    thats because in NY you pass 50+ people on the way to shul, and its not practical to say gut shabbos 50+ times each way without losing your voice and breath while having a conversation with the person walking with you also. ive noticed that when people say it to opposite genders, frequently those people are saying it only to opposite genders. try figuring out why.

    #741125

    In LA everyone really says good shabbos to each other. If its like some chassidish person who doesn’t look at girls I wouldn’t say GS to him but really, out of decency there’s nothing wrong with saying GS to someone you don’t know or a boy. You’re becoming friends with them because you said GS.

    #741126

    boredstiff
    Participant

    I guess I live in a really friendly city, everyone says GS to everyone. Even men to women. (Also, where I live everyone knows everyone, so you know who your saying it to.)

    #741127

    mytake
    Member

    I say GS to women (regardless of whether or not I know them) and answer to men if they say (basic mentschlichkeit).

    #741128

    bpt
    Participant

    “The next time a man says good shabbos in BP to me ur cover will be blown”

    In your case, it won’t work, because you have that “out-of-town” aura/personality, that makes everyone say GS to you!

    #741130

    workingbubby
    Member

    I say Gut Shabbos to anyone that is looking at me. If a man is passing and looking at the people he passes there is nothing wrong for him to say Gut Shabbos. If a man is not looking at the people then I won’t say Gut Shabbos to distract him. But my general rule is to say Gut Shabbos to any Jew passing by. To the Goyim I wish a Good Day. Why not? May shock them to know there are friendly Jews too. One of the Goyim on the block told my daughter that we are the nicest neighbors on the block! All we do is act friendly. I tell my children – Be friendly but not friends!

    #741131

    bpt
    Participant

    600KB –

    Gone so long, and still at your 600kg glory? Whoa, the food musta been top rate!

    Welcome back, you missed tons of fun.

    #741132

    blinky
    Participant

    “that makes everyone say GS to you!”

    Why would they wish me “general schmooze”? 🙂

    Just for the record, I usually greet all females (and usually get a response back too) and only if a man greets me ill greet back.

    #741133

    Pashuteh Yid
    Member

    The most important thing Kilobear said was Oisvarf.

    #741134

    bpt
    Participant

    ” and only if a man greets me ill greet back. “

    Hmm.. so that would put us at a stalemate, as I have the same policy when it comes to the other gender.

    Sorry, that’s the way it goes in Bklyn.

    On the other hand, where you to be going for a shabbos walk with your chosson….

    #741135

    1dayatatime
    Participant

    Heres my pet-peeve

    Non-brooklynites are always complaining about people not saying good shabbos

    I decided to do a little experiment about this to see if they were right or not

    Of all the people (males) I passed (about 20) to 11 of them I said good shabbos first and got a response, 6 said good shabbos first at which I responded, and only 2, whom I said good shabbos to first, did not respond.

    1. The Gemara says to be Makdim Shalom_ If your expecting a good shabbos first, remember this maamar chazal

    2. I’ve been noticing more and more, that people are saying good shabbos to each other

    3. The accepted M’halech amongst most in BP, is to only speak to same gender-Don’t expect a good shabbos greeting from the opposite gender

    Heres my biggest pet-peeve

    I’ve been to alot of out-of-town places for shabbos, and I’ve not seen them to be much better than BP. I don’t know where all this hype comes from

    There are a decent number of people whom I said good shabbos to first, so why is this any different than Brooklyn, where I get nice responses, and there were people who didn’t respond

    IMHO it’s all…..

    #741136

    Oisvorf would be a great name for a pet!

    #741137

    dunno
    Member

    1dayatatime

    Are you done your rant yet? 🙂

    #741138

    I only say good shabbos to men between the age of 29-32…anyone else gets a blank stare…..seriously, I say it to anyone one I come accross on Shabbos regardles of gender age etc…Like wolf if I’m not sure if they are Jewish a smile and good morning, I think an observant Jew being freindly to strangers Jew or Non Jew is a kiddush Hashem…

    #741139

    TheGoq
    Participant

    In some out of town communities you know 90% of the people you meet on the street thats why its more common to say Good Shabbos, in highly populated places in Brooklyn and elswhere you probably dont know most of the people you meet.

    #741140

    mamashtakah
    Member

    In New York when you say “Gut Shabbos” to people they look you up and down and wonder “Do I know who that is” and wonder why I said Gut Shabbos to them…

    Funny you should mention that. When my wife (who lived in Flatbush at the time) and I were newly engaged, we were crossing Ocean Parkway one Shabbat afternoon when an unknown man came towards us and said “Good Shabbos and mazal tov!” Taken aback that a stranger would wish us mazal tov, I asked, “Do I know you?” He peered at us for a moment and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

    #741141

    1dayatatime
    Participant

    Dunno

    I’m a bit thirsty from all that ranting, can you get me some water please?

    #741142

    Rezdy
    Member

    it sfunny how out of town ppl uaually say good shabbos to anyone as long as their jewish and in ny/lkwd chos vshalom! only to your gender

    i think you should judge the situation- if you see a old women and you a boy i personally dont think theres anything wrong with smiling at her and wishing her good shabbos!

    but if your a teenage boy and you see a teenage girl no you shouldnt say good shabbos to her if your trying to flirt (this also applys vica-versa)

    if your just being polite/freindly then say good shabbos

    #741143

    shlishi
    Member

    rezdy

    people dont say it to opposite genders due to the gedorim.

    and in NY you pass way too many people on the street on every walk to constantly greet everyone.

    #741144

    dunno
    Member

    1dayatatime

    As discussed earlier, that only happens in my house.

    #741145

    s2021
    Member

    iv noticed in out of town places its more acceptable for the men and woman to wish each other good shabbos.. why is that?

    #741146

    Sender Av
    Member

    good shabbos everyone!!!

    #741147

    wanderingchana
    Participant

    Good Shabbos!!

    #741148

    s2021
    Member

    hey sender- r u from out of town? :)jk

    #741149

    TheGoq
    Participant

    “noticed in out of town places its more acceptable for the men and woman to wish each other good shabbos.. why is that?”

    because everyone is your neighbor regardless of gender

    #741150

    mamashtakah
    Member

    . . . in NY you pass way too many people on the street on every walk to constantly greet everyone.

    That’s just ridiculous.

    #741151

    shlishi
    Member

    mamashtakah

    no its not. you easily pass 50 people each way. if you were to greet every one of them, a) you would not be able to talk to your walking partner and b) you’d be out of breath by time you got to your destination. OOT you dont have this problem. its just the difference of the nature of things.

    #741152

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    in NY you pass way too many people on the street on every walk to constantly greet everyone.

    I guess you live in Times Square. In my part of Brooklyn, it’s usually not a problem to try to greet (nearly) everyone.

    The Wolf

    #741153

    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    I say good shabbos to every Jew I pass on Shabbos. I live in Brooklyn, but I guess I really don’t belong here.

    #741154

    Sender Av
    Member

    s2021, actually…yes. (that is why I say it, hold the door open for people).

    #741155

    It’s true that out of town there’s much less people on the streets so there’s less people to say GS to so people say it more. BUT, maybe in other oot places its like this but in LA I definitely don’t know most of the people I meet in the street.

    #741156

    mamashtakah
    Member

    no its not. you easily pass 50 people each way. if you were to greet every one of them, a) you would not be able to talk to your walking partner and b) you’d be out of breath by time you got to your destination. OOT you dont have this problem. its just the difference of the nature of things.

    I live in Israel; I also easily pass 50 people each way. I may not say Shabbat Shalom to each individual if they are walking in a group, but I will say it to each individual or group I pass. My walking partner(s) don’t seem to have any problems either. We manage no not be out of breath, even though we are walking uphill.

    #741157

    mw13
    Participant

    Deja vu all over again…

    I see nothing wrong with saying GS to a member of the opposite gender, but I certainly understand why some people feel it shouldn’t be done.

    popcorn:

    “In New York when you say “Gut Shabbos” to people they look you up and down and wonder “Do I know who that is” and wonder why I said Gut Shabbos to them…(even to people of my own gender).”

    I can’t speak for all of New York, but here in Monsey it’s not like that at all. Everybody says GS to everybody else (to the opposite gender depends on the neighborhood).

    #741158

    essy8
    Member

    in my out-of-town high school years ago this was a hot issue. i remember most teachers saying not to say to men, but that our one rebbe, who taught halacha/hashkafa, saying its a mitzva so of course u can and should do it in a tznius way. of course the “in a tznius” way is emphasized.

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