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- This topic has 11 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 2 months ago by mw13.
January 28, 2011 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #594598yoyo56Member
is it ok to say hello to the opposite gender when and where and how should it be said?
many times i walk in the street and people oppsite gender say hi/ goodmorning et cetra should i respond?January 28, 2011 7:22 pm at 7:22 pm #733193WolfishMusingsParticipant
people oppsite gender say hi/ goodmorning et cetra should i respond?
I would think that while you might have qualms about initiating a greeting, you should certainly return one that is given. To do otherwise is insulting and disrespectful… and there is nothing that says that one is required to be disrespectful to members of the opposite gender.
The WolfJanuary 28, 2011 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #733194
adding to this question: how friendly do you have to be to classmates of the opposite gender?January 28, 2011 7:25 pm at 7:25 pm #733195popa_bar_abbaParticipant
I think it depends who they are. If you are in a completely secular school, you probably will be viewed as pretty rude if you ignore the other gender. Of course, you can be selective in who you invite over for a homework party.January 28, 2011 7:32 pm at 7:32 pm #733196mikehall12382Member
“adding to this question: how friendly do you have to be to classmates of the opposite gender” with this question, i’m surprised you would go to a school that has members of the opposite genderJanuary 28, 2011 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm #733197
its a nursing school (yes! there are male nursing students).January 28, 2011 7:51 pm at 7:51 pm #733198mw13Participant
“many times i walk in the street and people oppsite gender say hi/ goodmorning et cetra should i respond?”
I would say that it would be a good idea to respond, if only not to appear rude.
“how friendly do you have to be to classmates of the opposite gender?”
Now this is much more of a question. One should not have opposite-gender friends, but on the other hand we can’t make a chillul Hashem. Therefore, I would say to be polite (say hello, hold the door open, and in general show you acknowledge he/she exists), but not friendly (have a real conversation with him/her, ask them how their vacation was, etc).January 28, 2011 8:17 pm at 8:17 pm #733199
thanx for the advice! i always feel funny saying hi though. guess it’s the BY-er in meJanuary 28, 2011 8:29 pm at 8:29 pm #733200RABBAIMParticipant
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It does not mean to start a relationship or shmooz,Davka Not to do that!!! just a greeting. I was told that in Gateshead the Mashgiach, Rav matisyahu Solomon would greet each person he passed in the street ……… male and female. Obviously if peole cannot stop at jsut a greeting then it should not be done, the yetzer Horah is too strong.January 28, 2011 11:28 pm at 11:28 pm #733201mischiefmakerMember
definitely don’t initiate but once they said hello u can smile or nod in responseJanuary 30, 2011 12:41 am at 12:41 am #733202oomisParticipant
Always return a greeting, to do otherwise is very rude.
Just as an aside: You should know a little vort my father O”H used to say over. Do you know why it is that when someone says “Sholom Aleichem” we reverse the order when responding and say “Aleichem Sholom?” it is because Sholom, being one of the Names of the RBSO, confers a level of Shemirah on the person who is makdim B’Sholom to someone. therefore nothing will happen to him between saying The Shem (Sholom) and the word aleichem. The responder however, no longer has that same Shemira, because he was NOT the makdim b’Sholom, so he says the Aleichem first, just chalilah in case something happens to interrupt his finishing saying the full expression, which would otherwise result in his saying Hashem’s Name l’vatalah.January 30, 2011 1:41 am at 1:41 am #733203mw13Participant
“thanx for the advice!”
“i always feel funny saying hi though. guess it’s the BY-er in me”
As long as you feel funny, you’re doing fine. It’s when you stop feeling funny that you have a problem…
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