Scared of driving!

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  • This topic contains 24 replies, has 18 voices, and was last updated by  s2021 8 years ago.
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  • #597079

    i love coffe
    Participant

    Okay, so lets just say that its about time I get a driving licence but……..i’m too scared to drive!

    When I was younger I couldnt wait for the day that I would get my licence but now that i’m able to I just cant. I’m scared of getting in to an accident, of being in control of a car and making sure I dont kill anyone, chas v’shalom, etc. What do I do?

    Has anyone ever been in this situation, and how long did it take you to get over it?

    #772120

    shlishi
    Member

    You don’t have to drive y’know. You can take rides with others or use mass transit.

    #772121

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    You don’t have to drive y’know. You can take rides with others or use mass transit.

    I don’t know where the OP lives. It’s possible s/he lives in an area without mass transit.

    Has anyone ever been in this situation, and how long did it take you to get over it?

    The first few times, it was scary for me. You quickly get used to driving. Don’t worry so much.

    The Wolf

    #772122

    i love coffe
    Participant

    Thats funny. Where I live I need to have a car. I wish it was New York =)

    #772123

    aries2756
    Participant

    The way to get offer a fear is to face it and conquer it. The first thing you need to do is to sign up for driving lessons at a professional school where the instructor has a duo foot break and sometimes even a duo steering wheel.

    Once you start your lessons you will realize that the fear comes from the unknown and that you will be more comfortable behind the wheel than in the passenger seat. Driving is freedom. It is a huge accomplishment and gives you the freedom to go as you please and to be the one who does the chessed.

    #772124

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    I love coffe,

    I’ve had that problem which was why I was afraid of driving on the highway but I just needed to know where I was going and I felt calmer, I’m still nervous when I drive on the highway but it’s doable

    #772125

    deiyezooger
    Member

    take good lessons, by an experience driving school place, and most of all trust in yourself,and in what your doing and you’ll be the best driver. i think that’s the only way you could drive a car. good luck!

    #772126

    commonsense
    Participant

    you’ll probably be a much better driver because you are starting out with the knowledge that driving can be dangerous. don’t let it stop you but channel that fear to make you a cautious aware driver.

    #772127

    ZeesKite
    Participant

    There’s really nothing to it. I drive too. With sonar. If I hear horns on the right, I know I’m drifting to the right. Honking in the back means many things; in BP it means the light turned green 0.002 seconds ago, or I’m driving < 55 mph on a side street. On a highway it means my tailpipe is dragging etc. A bang in the front indicates that I’ve just hit another car. Intensity of sound is related to velocity of impact. Thump-thump indicates tires have deflated ego. Grinding sound when turning sharp indicates system is thirsty for steering fluid…

    Then there’s some visual indicators. Smoke billowing from under hood means you have 0.75 minutes to make a hasty exit. And take cover..

    #772128

    stickynote
    Member

    i love Coffe: I dont know where you live for example brooklyn driving is different than lakewoood. However, delaying driving will just make you more nervous. Here are some helpful tips.

    Start SLOWLY. The first day of driving just practice on a dead end or quiet street. Just learn what each part of the car does.. Which one is gas and which one is the break. How to put on your blinkers, how to back up, how to use the mirrors..Do this for a couple of days, until you are comfortable sitting in the driver seat.Comfortable meaning you know how to start the car and drive without thinking which one is gas and break. You can still feel a drop nervous.DONT WORRY ITS NORMAL.

    Then start driving local roads, but not the main busy streets. Here is where you will feel a drop apprehensive because you have to watch out for other cars and people crossing. Don’t worry just stay on the speed limit or drop under and you will be ok. If you see a car in your rearview mirror almost on your bumper let him cut you off, dont just speed because he is making you nervous. Also, you can be extra cautious for example stopping by yellow/red, so to make yourself comfortable with the roads.Doing this for like a week will make you feel better. You can still feel a DROP nervous but as long as you are practising you are doing fine.(also make sure your seat is high enough to see the road. I know someone who couldnt understand how come she kept ending up on the shoulder, the problem was her seat was too low and all she saw was a dashboard! So if you need sit on a phonebook:)

    Then say to yourself now I’m ready for the busy roads. So its the same as the small roads! Dont worry. Just make sure to keep your eyes on the road and the car in front of you. You should be extra aware of your surroundings. For example if the car in front of you has his break lights on that means your foot should be resting gently on YOUR break.

    I hope these tips help you..Good luck!

    #772129

    yeshivabochur123
    Participant

    I’m also terrified of driving. Tried to learn didn’t work so well. But luckily I live in NY and you never need to drive. It does make it annoying on shidduchim though but this too shall pass.

    #772130

    shlishi
    Member

    yb123: How do you take girls on dates without driving?

    #772131

    always here
    Participant

    my husband tried teaching me to drive 33 years ago when I was pregnant with my Bachor.. never happened.

    I’m a very poor passenger as well :/

    I used to dream of driving down to Sheepshead Bay in a convertible with my hair blowing in the wind. (real dreams… during sleep).

    #772132

    yeshivabochur123
    Participant

    so either sit-ins or cabs. if you think about it a cab is actually cheaper than renting a car plus someone else is driving. The first time I did a sit-in I was extra nervous but truth is I have come to find them more enjoyable than going out. There’s no pressure on me to decide what lounge to go to and all and you don’t have to spend $20 on stupid drinks that you could buy from a machine for $2. Its also more tznius as you are guaranteed not to run into anyone you know. Although the one drawback is when people hear that you don’t drive they seem to think like you are from another planet or something, fathers have called all my references and asked them what was wrong with me that I don’t drive. I just never liked driving never needed to so I never bothered to learn how. That’s all.

    #772133

    kapusta
    Participant

    Many people say that. Its good to be a little nervous but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it at all. Do it at your own pace, even if it means just going straight down a quiet street in the beginning. There are plenty of people out there who can’t do too much but can drive, you have no reason to think you’ll do any less than them. Keep your eyes set on the goal, not on the road to get there! (Well… you know what I mean.)

    Hatzlacha!

    *kapusta*

    #772134

    Ofcourse
    Member

    Maybe there’s some kind of hypnotherapy to rid you of your fear. If you master your fear, you’ll feel great. If you dont do it, there will be some times that you’ll be embarassed to admit it in public. These days almost everyone drives (except for Chassidishe women).

    On your own, do the worst case scenario analysis, if you really give it thought, you’ll see that whatever you fear, theres always a chance that you can bring about the same negative result, through other means as well ch”v. There are people that dont get out of bed for fear that they’ll hurt themselves or someone else.

    #772135

    i love coffe
    Participant

    Thank You so much for all your moral support =)

    I really have to get started. I think I now have at least enough courage to start driving lessons…(I’ll let you know how that goes). Please wish me best of luck. Hope I make it out of there alive. Again, thanks everyone.

    #772136

    ZeesKite
    Participant

    Did you find my information to be helpful?

    #772137

    mybat
    Member

    Mexicans drive, delivery men, cleaning people, bus drivers, smart, dumb, big , small, young, old, etc..

    I think you get my point.

    You will learn to drive, go practice early Sunday mornings when there is very little traffic out.

    #772138

    gefen
    Participant

    Zeeskite – I just loved your post! 🙂

    #772139

    i love coffe
    Participant

    Zeeskite- You are hilarious! And yes, I was laughing the whole time. Definatly loosened the tense I had.

    #772140

    ZeesKite
    Participant

    gefen, i love coffe

    Thank you. At least SOMEONE read it.

    #772141

    ZK: “Thank you. At least SOMEONE read it”

    You mean, at least someone *commented* on it.

    Far more people may have read it. I think we’d be surprised how many people read without commenting. Wish there was a visit counter per thread.

    #772142

    Just go with a driving teacher and you won’t want to make a fool out of yourself and make them think you’re a scardy cat so the first few minutes you’ll be terrified and you’ll eventually realize its not that scary! I was terrified in the beginning of my first lesson and at the end the teacher was telling me to slow down. Chill out and realize that she has a brake and gas and won’t let you crash. Good Luck!

    #772143

    s2021
    Member

    When I first got my license I was afraid.. I said a perek of tehillim everytime I got into the car. It helps alot. I also only drove with ppl who were supportive and helped calm me down-as in not with my parents. (AAAAAAAAA, BRAAAAKE!!! Ma, I AM braking!!) Take it very slow and dont force yourself to get over it. As ur confidence builds, the fear just slips away. You want to build that confidence by getting excellent in one area, and then trying out the next thing (highways, new routes…) Good luck! Im already driving like a new yorker! (OK, not really but almost..)

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